Requiem

Chapter Five Landstuhl

The first day of Summer Break, I took the day off from Titan, and Jared and I went to our Oak Tree. I lazily traced the details of the carving of our names, and let the sweet, summer air sweep over my skin. Lunch was served on the blanket he had given me as a graduation gift — before I knew him — and we playfully wrestled and chased each other barefoot in the grass.

Jared was working overtime to prove to me that our lives could be as normal as anyone else. Even with the bad dreams keeping us apart at night, he had figured out how to get around them and made it seem that nothing was different.

The air smelled of fresh grass and sunshine, and coupled with Jared’s scent, it felt a little like Heaven. Summer soaked into my every pore, and I could see that Jared was enjoying my mood. He sat next to me, waiting for me to catch my breath from chasing him.

“Having a better day?” he asked, running his finger lightly across my wrist.

“Exponentially,” I said, digging my toes into the grass. “I feel like I did at Little Corn.”

“Speaking of that…have you given any more thought to returning to that perfect little chapel we came across there?” Jared said the words casually, but he was fidgeting with the hem of his jeans.

“Wedding date,” I said, nodding. I should have seen the topic coming. Jared never broached anything important lightly, and always insisted on the perfect back drop. “Does Claire know when she’s coming back?”

“No,” Jared said, frowning. The hem of his jeans seemed to be irritating him, but I knew it was the direction of our conversation.

“We can’t get married without Claire. I’m going to make her wear something hideous.”

“Already have your Bridesmaids picked out?” he said with a contrived smile.

“Beth, Kim and Claire. What about your groomsmen? Can’t exactly have Samuel and Eli stand in.”

“Sure I could. I don’t think they would do it, but I could ask.” I laughed, and his smile relaxed. “Bex, obviously. Maybe I could ask Ryan. It would help Claire.”

“Not funny,” I said, ripping out a handful of grass, and then throwing it at him.

He shrugged. “Nothing says I have to have as many as you.”

I had never considered that the small details of a wedding would be so difficult for him. He had siblings, and contacts within the system to make things easier, but no friends. Barely any family. His side of the church would be pitifully bare.

“Maybe I’ll just have Beth and Claire, and Bex can escort both of them,” I said, hoping to relieve him of part of what he perceived as a problem.

I had insisted for so long that our lives be as close to normal as a Hybrid and his Taleh could get, that Jared was bordering on obsession about giving that to me. I knew that if something were as important to him, I would be equally determined to make it happen, but I didn't want our wedding to be a source of disappointment; for either of us.

His eyes turned soft. “You can have as many as you want, Sweetheart. I’ll figure it out,” he said, leaning toward me. His lips touched my cheek bone lightly, and then brushed along the edge of my jaw line.

His touch had always had an immediate effect on me, but being alone, shaded from the summer sun by our Oak Tree, I lost all in inhibitions. I pulled his mouth to mine and returned his kiss, letting him know by the way my tongue eagerly danced with his. I let myself fall slowly against the blanket, and held his shoulders, bringing him with me. His lips planted tiny kisses from my ear to my collar bone, and I melted against the ground, feeling wonderfully overwhelmed. His mouth was so warm, and every time his lips lifted away from my skin, little goose bumps formed in reaction to the sudden change in temperature.

My fingers reached up the underside of his shirt, feeling the lean muscles of his back under his tan skin. His attraction to me had always confused me, but I was never ungrateful. There was no doubt that I was lucky. Jared being so close made that fact all too real.

I lifted his shirt over his head, and watched as his muscles stretched with each movement. A smile broke out across my face, and his expression mirrored mine, his senses tuning into my emotions, giving me away.

“Have I told you today how incredibly beautiful you are?” he asked, his nose tracing a line from my chin to my nose, where he stopped to kiss me. “If I haven’t, I deeply apologize. That’s something that should be recognized on a daily basis.” He easily unfastened the first button of my blouse, moving to the second.

“You can say it however often you like, as long as you’re doing that while you’re saying it,” I smiled.

His cell phone rang, and we both sighed.

“Of course,” I said.

He rolled his eyes. “It’s Claire.”

“Old habits die hard.”

He flipped it open. “Ryel.”

A stream of words I couldn’t understand blurred in different tones. Jared’s expression caused me to panic.

“Okay. We’re headed to the airport, now.”

“The airport?” I said, watching Jared dial again.

“I need to charter a jet to Ramstein. No, not Frankfurt-Hahn. Yes, the Air force Base. It’s the closest airport to Landstuhl. I’ll take care of it, Frank, just get it done.”

“We’re going to Germany?” I said in disbelief. “What’s going on?”

Jared ignored me, dialing again. He spoke in German this time. The only thing I understood was Landstuhl. It was the largest military hospital outside the United States, near Ramstein, Germany. The hospital was mentioned in the news frequently because the majority of wounded soldiers from Iraq and Afghanistan were flown there.

In that moment of understanding, I shoved all of our things into the backpack, frantically pulling on my motorcycle helmet. Jared immediately climbed onto his bike, and I jumped on behind him, gripping his jacket as he took off at full speed.

Everything I had feared since the moment I learned of Ryan's decision to join the Army had happened: Ryan had been injured, and Claire was alone, waiting to die.

We stopped at the loft long enough to grab money and passports, but we left everything else behind. Jared was quiet, and the way he was rushing to get to the airport made me fear the worst. He led me through the terminal so quickly that I had to jog to keep up with his long strides.

The plane was ready and waiting when we walked onto the tarmac, escorted by only a handful of the jet's employees. Jared spoke quick instructions to the pilot, and then we rushed up the stairs, barely greeting the flight attendant as we passed.

Jared didn’t speak during take-off. His fingers were on his lips as his mind processed the situation, and the consequences. I left him alone with his thoughts. Just as worried as he was, I wondered about calling Beth, or Kim, or even Josh. Telling them what I knew would only welcome questions, and explaining how I knew before Ryan’s mother, or his best friends would be far beyond my lying capabilites.

Two hours into the flight, I fought with my eye lids to stay open. After the fourth time of jerking myself awake, I finally broke the silence. “This is ridiculous. How could I possible be sleepy right now?”

“Maybe you should try to sleep,” Jared said without looking at me.

I nodded, settling into my seat. My leg jerked, and my eyes popped open again.

“Dreaming?” Jared asked with an amused smile.

“I think I was riding a bike to Germany,” I mumbled, leaning against his shoulder.

Sinking back into oblivion, my breaths grew even. It didn’t take long to let the airplane noise fade into the background.

The lights were dim in the fuselage. My eyes were blurry, and with the poor light, it was hard to focus. Jared had left his seat. I wondered how long we had been en route, and looked behind me to the restrooms.

“Jared?” I called back.

Nothing.

I stumbled to the back of the plane, and knocked on the lavatory door. When he didn’t answer, I opened it.

Empty.

My eyes strained to see in the darkness, but I could vaguely make out the top of Jared’s head. He was back in his seat, patiently waiting for me.

“Thirty-thousand feet in the air with nowhere to hide and you still keep me guessing,” I said, falling into my chair.

But it wasn’t Jared. Sitting next to me was Gabe Ryel.

I recoiled, the arm rest digging into my back as I leaned away from him. “What are you doing here?”

“It’s been a while, Nina.”

“I’m dreaming, aren’t I?” I said, perturbed. Knowing Gabe was behind my sleepless nights and the reason why Jared could no longer be within two blocks while I slept mustered up suppressed resentment, resulting in a bit more guts than I usually had.

“Talk Jared into turning back, Nina. We don’t have time for this.”

“Time for what? Why do you insist on being so theatrical? Just tell me what we need to do and we’ll do it.”

Gabe didn’t react. “Turn back, Nina.”

His eyes were black again. It made me more than just uncomfortable. His ice-blue eyes replaced by glass balls in his sockets was downright disturbing.

“No. Claire needs us.”

Gabe didn’t react to my insolence. He simply looked down at his intertwined fingers sitting atop his lap. He wore an expensive suit, the same I remembered when seeing him shadow my father, but his fingers were dirty and worn, as if he’d been digging in soil.

“Find the book.”

“How? Jared has talked to Eli, Samuel…no one will tell us anything!”

“This fight is not Jared's. It's yours.”

“Great. More riddles,” I said, crossing my arms. My muscles relaxed, thinking about the situation at hand. I looked to Gabe. Even with his shark eyes, he was still someone from my childhood that I loved. “Is Claire going to die?”

The plane hit turbulence, and a bit of bouncing evolved into what felt like a several-hundred-foot drop. As I gripped the arm rest, Gabe turned to me once again.

“Listen.”

“I can’t listen if there’s nothing to hear!”

“Listen,” he repeated.

The plane fell again, causing the overhead storage bins to vomit various items, and the already dim lights flickered violently until they surrendered, and the fuselage turned dark.

I jerked awake, and Jared sat where Gabe had been. The lights were on, and the floors were clear of debris.

“It’s you,” I said, relieved.

“Yes,” he said with a confused smile, “who did you think it would be?”

After a short pause, I shook my head. “No one. Just forgot where I was for a second.”

Jared nodded, and then rested his hand on my knee. “We’ll be there in two hours.”

He spent the remainder of our flight on his cell phone. He made arrangements for a car to pick us up at the airport, and for a friend, Colonel Jason Brand to meet us at Landstuhl with visitor identification.

Upon arrival, the pace accelerated. The second the plane came to a stop, Jared had the few things we brought with us in hand, and he held out my jacket.

“It’s chilly,” he said, helping me twist into the sleeves.

Descending the stairs of the plane, it was clear why Jared had to make so many phone calls. Pilots walked to and from their jets, crew chiefs were parking and marshelling out jets, while others were busy with flight inspections. Jet engines screamed as they prepared for takeoff.

We had landed at Ramstein air base. Jared’s connections spanned farther than I had imagined.

We rushed off the tarmac to the waiting car. The driver was a stranger to me. He spoke fluent German to Jared, so I was unsure if he was just a local or someone Jared had met before. He looked about Jared’s age. Light blonde hair peeked from his dark green ball cap, but his eyes were hidden behind dark sunglasses.

“Warum gehen Sie nach Landstuhl?” the driver said.

“Claire’s Taleh ist verletzt worden,” Jared said.

The driver’s eyebrows pulled in. He was a friend. Jared mentioning Claire’s Taleh could even mean that he was a Hybrid, and by the features I could see, he was.

“Gutes Glück zu Ihnen, Freund,” he said, shaking his head.

“Danke,” Jared frowned. He leaned toward me, then. “He was asking why we’re here. I told him, and he wished us luck,” he whispered against my cheek.

Nodding, I hugged Jared’s arm to me. Landstuhl was just three miles from the West Gate of the base. The soldier guarding the gate seemed to know the driver, and after checking out his identification, let us through quickly.

An officer in a blue decorated dress uniform waited at the front entrance of the hospital.

“Colonel,” Jared said, shaking his hand. He was definitely not a hybrid, with his dark hair and eyes. “Nina, this is Colonel Jason Brand,” he said.

I shook his hand. “Thank you,” I said.

“Not at all. Claire’s pretty famous around here. We’ve all trained with her at some point,” Jason said with a small grin. “Jared, we’ve got good news coming from the surgeon,” he said as we followed him inside. His voice was firm and no-nonsense. It reminded me of the way my father spoke. “Claire is in the waiting room on the third floor. They know you’re coming.”

Jared nodded. He kept me by his side as we walked to the elevator. The space was quiet, and despite Jason’s positive comment earlier, Jared was on-edge. He rubbed his thumb compulsively against the top of my hand as he held it a bit too tight in his.

“What can I do,” I asked, touching his arm with my free hand.

One corner of Jared's mouth turned up in an appreciative half-smile. “You're here with me. That's all I need.”

The door opened to a bustling hallway. The walls were devoid of anything but white paint, and the halls were full of equipment and people. Medical personnel attended to the wounded wearing either utility attire or green scrubs. Soldiers past by in wheelchairs, accompanied by their attentive wives or mothers. A few were trying on their new prosthesis and learning to walk again.

My stomach instantly felt sick, wondering what was waiting for us in Ryan’s room.

Jared pushed through a set of double doors and stopped. Claire, tiny and alone, stood at the end of the hall. She was looking down an adjacent hall, but the second she felt Jared’s presence, she slowly turned to face him. His stoic disposition deteriorated as he looked into the eyes of his little sister, and a small sound escaped from his throat.

Claire ran down the hall at full speed, and crashed into Jared, wrapping her arms around him. She had run so hard, and hit him with such force, it made a clapping sound that echoed through the halls as if a door had slammed. Even with Claire’s incredible strength, Jared didn’t budge. He lifted her off the floor, taking her into his long arms and squeezed her tightly.

“You didn’t have to come, stupid!” she said. Her voice was muffled against Jared’s shoulder. When she pulled back to look at him, tears blurred her round, ice-blue eyes. “But, I’m glad you came.”

She reached for me, and hooked her arm around my neck, adding me to their embrace. We stood there in silence for a long while, knowing once we let go, reality would set in.

Time was not on our side, and too quickly the reunion was over. We walked to the waiting room, dazed and emotionally exhausted. Jared sat beside me on the sofa, and Claire took a chair adjacent to us.

Jared cleared his throat. “I’m going to apologize in advance, Claire. This is hard for me.”

“Déjà vu?” she said in understanding.

“Something like that,” he said, rubbing the bridge of his nose with his forefinger and thumb.

“You mean me,” I said softly.

Jared didn’t meet my eyes; he simply nodded as he stared at the floor. I had tried to imagine many times what he went through while waiting to hear whether I would live or die after the shoot out in the restaurant.

“I remember,” Claire said with a far-off look in her eyes. “Mom was there. Bex was stuck in Dubai with Amir.” She spoke low and slow, looking to Jared with weary eyes. “You sat on that horrible, fake leather chair until you couldn’t stand it, and then you paced the length of the room until we couldn’t stand it. It was harder to watch than when Daddy slipped away. Then Samuel came, and Eli….”

“They were there?” I asked, surprised.

Jared nodded. “They appeared after I called for Gabriel. I begged him to take me the second…I didn’t want to know what it would feel like when you were gone.”

“Would it be painful?” I asked, touching his arm.

Jared breathed a heavy sigh. “My father described it as weakness, growing so debilitating that eventually every system in our bodies stop.” He looked into my eyes. “We literally need our Taleh’s to breathe.”

Claire watched us for a moment before speaking. “I had to restrain Jared several times. He couldn’t stand the thought of you lying on a table without him, letting strangers — humans — try to save you. He wanted to force his way into the O.R. I’d never seen him so unreasonable.” Claire’s icy eyes melted when she looked at her brother. “Seeing Jared feel so helpless and desperate — Mom waiting to hear if she would lose you and her son — the collective pain in that room will be burned into my memory forever. Just like yesterday will.”

I grabbed her hand. “And I’m okay. Just like Ryan will be.”

Claire wore what used to be a white tank top, now more of a grey-brown, and khaki utility pants with heavy, lace-up boots. A blood-stained hijab sat bunched up in the chair next to her. Her moist eyes and smeared mascara had mixed with the desert sand, but only around her eyes.

“Did Ryan recognize you?” I asked.

Claire shook her head. “I should have pulled us out earlier. He looked up at me, but he was pretty out of it. And with the hijab…he could only see my eyes.”

Jared placed his hand on ours. “It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you’re both alive.”

“Ryan's company was conducting a raid to extract two contractors that had been missing for a few days. I made a lot of mistakes today, Jared. They were ambushed. I should have seen it coming. I should have heard the snipers get into position, but my mind was full of complaints and resentment.” She stared at the floor, deep in thought. “They always raid at night. Everything was off, and I missed it.”

Jared grabbed Claire's jaw in his hands. “You know better than to beat yourself up about this. What were you telling me in the waiting room in Providence? He’s alive, Claire. No one else could have gotten him here with a chance.”

She pulled away from him, and looked out the window. In her mind, she was still on that street corner, watching the extermination of Ryan's company in real time. “It was like Shock and Awe out there — one explosion after another,” she snapped her eyes shut. The memory replayed in her mind. “I could hear him, but I couldn’t see,” her eyebrows pulled in, “I couldn’t see.”

Her eyes popped open, and she immediately wiped away her tears. “My first glimpse of Ryan didn’t surprise me: He was sprinting from the debris cloud with Tommy on his back.” She smiled. “Of course it would be Tommy. Ryan's only saved his hide three times already.” Her smiled faded. “They were close. Closer than the others. Ryan felt responsible for him.”

Jared stood, and walked to the other side of the room. He rubbed the back of his neck; the worry and memories were clearly overwhelming him.

“That was when I decided to move in,”” Claire explained, “but a sniper clicked on his sights.” Claire laughed once. “The jerkface got one off after I severed his brain stem with one bullet, Jared. That shit only happens in the movies.”

“So Ryan was hit?” I prodded. My mind raced with where the story would end. I had no idea what injuries Ryan had sustained, and with the vivid detail of bombs and bullets, I needed her to get to the point.

“Twice. A bullet ricocheted off a rock, and clipped his right lung; the other blew straight through his shoulder. It was fate. Both injuries are going to send him packing.”

Jared glanced at me, and then returned to his seat. He leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. “That was when you evac’d?”

Claire sniffed. “He wouldn’t let Tommy go. I had to pry all ten of his fingers from the guy’s flak jacket.”

“Figures,” Jared grumbled.

“Ryan’s whole unit was wiped out in three seconds. He needed to save one of them. It didn’t matter that Tommy was dead ten meters from the explosions…Ryan was going to carry him home.”

Tears welled up in my eyes and overflowed. “Can we see him?”

Jared hugged me to his side. “He can’t know you were ever here. We can’t take that chance.”

Jared's reasoning made sense. Explaining Ryan’s memories of me at his bedside in Landstuhl would be too difficult to explain away to our friends at Brown.

Claire looked at her dirty hands. “I hauled him to an empty shack off the path, stayed the night until Morning Prayer, and then back-tracked East to my Jeep.”

Colonel Brand knocked on the door jamb. Jared and Claire immediately stood, and Jared pulled me with him.

“Colonel,” Jared and Claire said in unison, both nodding.

“He’s out of the woods for now. Doctor Vanhooser is closing, and he’ll be in to speak with you shortly. He has been informed that Sergeant Scott is to be kept unaware of your presence.”

“Thanks, Jason,” Claire said, letting out a big sigh of relief.

“There is something you should know,” Colonel Brand said. “Ryan is going to need substantial physical therapy, and after losing his entire unit, his debriefing will be substantial.”

“What does that mean for Ryan?” I asked.

“Sergeant Scott’s chances to return to active duty are slim,” Colonel Brand said, matter-of-factly.

I was ashamed of the relief the Colonel’s words brought me. Ryan would be devastated, and I could only think of myself. Thoughts of Ryan returning to Brown on the military’s dime, and his empty seat at the Ratty being filled peppered my mind, and I had to cover my smile with my hand.

Jared glanced at me. He knew how Colonel Brand’s prediction had made me feel, and his eyes tightened. I sunk back into my seat, crimson splashing across my cheeks.

Claire took a walk down the colorless hallway, giving Jared the perfect chance to scold me. Before he could get the chance, my cell phone buzzed in my jacket pocket.

“Hello?”

“Grant is out sick, you’re gone, and the Japan firm is on line two asking questions I don’t know the answers to,” Beth barked in her southern accent. “I don’t understand half of what he says, Nina. Is there some way to patch you through?”

I smiled. “Just tell him I’m out of town, and I will call him tomorrow.”

“He said he’s been waiting on a return phone call from Grant for a week.”

“Then he can wait one more day,” I said.

“Where are you? I only have a billion documents for you to sign, and the billing on the Peterman account is messed up.”

“Ask an intern. They know the software better than the accountants.”

“Nigh,” she sighed.“Where are you?”

“Checking on an old friend,” I said. “I have to go, Beth. Oh, and…don’t ask Sasha for help. It will give her the mistaken impression that she’s needed.”

“The friend wouldn’t be Kim, would it?”

“No. Why?”

“She’s MIA, too. Again,” Beth grumbled.

“You can wing it until I get back. I have faith in you,” I said, hanging up the phone.

“What?” Jared asked.

“Beth said Kim hasn’t been around. She doesn’t know where she is. Kim’s been doing that a lot lately,” I said with a frown.

Jared squirmed in his seat, and then looked away.

“Jared?” I asked in an accusatory tone. He didn’t look at me. “Do you know anything about that?”

Jared didn’t meet my eyes for several moments, and then finally turned to face me. After a long puff of air, he took a deep breath, and then intertwined his fingers. His expression was exactly as it as the night he told me the truth.

I looked at him from under my brows. “Is it bad?”

Jared shook his head. “It’s dangerous. I won’t lie to you, so please let it go.”

“We’re talking about Kim, right? Lanky, goofy Kim?”

“Let it go, Nina.”

My knee bounced up and down as I made the decision, but it had already been made. I was only stalling. Jared looked away again with a sigh, knowing what would happen next.

He closed his eyes, and with one last effort he begged. “Don’t….”

My knuckles turned white as I gripped the edge of my seat, preparing myself for what he would say. Jared had told me more unbelievable truths in the last two years than even I could believe, and I had seen most of it with my own eyes. Regardless, Kim had been keeping something from me — something Jared knew, and I didn't — I had to ask.

“Jared?” He stiffened the second I uttered his name. Although knowing the truth had never been comforting before, I couldn’t stop myself. “What do you know about Kim?”