Selected Cronicas

‘WANTED’

This is the ideal newspaper for classified advertisements and, as I scan the items under Wanted or For Sale, my eye catches the following advertisement printed in bold type:

‘Man or woman wanted to help someone to remain contented. I am so contented that I cannot keep all this happiness to myself and must share it with others. Exceptional wages offered: the right person will be repaid minute by minute with happiness. Apply at once because my happiness is as fleeting as those falling stars one only sees after they have fallen; I need this man or woman before dusk because once night falls no one can help me and it will be much too late. Applicants must not expect any free time until the horrors and dangers of Sunday have passed. Anyone who is sad may also apply because the happiness promised is so great that it must be shared before disaster strikes. I implore readers to apply, I implore them with all the humility of inexplicable happiness. There is also a house on offer, all lit up as if a ball were being held. The successful applicant will be allowed full use of the pantry, the kitchen and sitting-room.

P.S. No previous experience required. And my apologies for troubling you with this advertisement. But I swear to you that there is a divine happiness on this solemn face of mine to be shared with others.’