Selected Cronicas

CHARLATANS

A friend of mine once remarked that there is something of the charlatan in all of us. I had to agree. I can feel the charlatan inside me, haunting me. Without getting the better of me, firstly because it is not really true, secondly because I am almost sickened by my basic honesty. There is another thing which haunts me and makes me smile: bad taste. Oh, how tempted I feel to give in to bad taste. In what way? Well, here there is plenty of scope, endless scope. It can be anything from saying the wrong thing at the worst possible moment to uttering words of great beauty and truth which catch the other person off guard and leave him speechless. In what other way? Well, the way one dresses, for example. Not simply by overdressing. I cannot describe it but know exactly what I mean by dressing in bad taste. And when it comes to writing? Here there are great temptations because the dividing line between bad taste and truth is almost imperceptible. In writing, moreover, there is an accepted standard of good taste which is actually much worse than bad taste. Just to amuse myself or, as a simple experiment, I sometimes walk that thin line between the two.

Have I ever been a charlatan? Yes, indeed I have, while believing in all sincerity that I was doing the right thing. For example, I graduated in law, thus deceiving myself and others. Perhaps myself rather than others. Yet in all sincerity I decided to study law in the hope of reforming the Brazilian penal system one day.

The charlatan sells himself short. What was I about to say? It was on the tip of my tongue, but has now escaped me. Does the charlatan harm himself? That I do not know, but what is certain is that charlatanism can be very harmful. It disrupts the most solemn moments. It makes you wish you did not exist just when you exist at your most powerful. Alas, I cannot dwell too long on this subject.

Someone told me that a certain critic had described Guimarães Rosa and me as a couple of imposters, in other words, as a couple of charlatans. The critic in question won’t understand a word of what I am saying here. For I am speaking of something very profound even if it appears otherwise and I give the impression of toying a little sadly with the subject.