Shadows in Bronze

XL

It was a highly desirable bucket – a handsome shape, good capacity, the bronze gleaming like sunshine on Lake Volsinii, its rivets secure, and a ring-moulded handle to give a firm grip.

'Superb. How much do I owe?'

'You could pay a lot more, for much less-' She told me and I paid up, pleased with the bargain she had got for me.

'Very few people can buy a good bucket. I told Larius I could rely on you.'

'Talking of him ' She dived under her stole, which she was keeping in the bucket while the evening stayed mild. 'I bought this to help you cheer him up.'

It was a miniature stag, also in bronze, small enough to sit in the palm of my hand and beautifully modelled. I made the right noises, but Helena Justina could spot insincerity at a stadium's length: 'Is something wrong-are you offended?'

'Jealous,' I confessed.

'Fool!' Laughing, she dived in again. 'Your mother asked me to look out for these for you.' Next she gave me a parcel about six inches long, heavy, and wrapped in cloth.

It was a set of spoons. Ten. Bronze. I tried the balance: beautiful. They had pleasing egg-shaped bowls, slightly elongated in the length. The hexagonal handles were straight, then turned down and curved into a rat-tail fixture on the bowl; they had moulded knops by the elbow joints, picked up by a complementary finial…

'Well, my cold gruel should taste a lot better out of these!'

'Wipe them with a cloth when you wash them, so they won't mark – do you like them?'

They were superb. I told her that. Whatever they cost must be more than my mother could possibly afford; I was reaching for my funds again, with a sharp pain in the purse area, when she muttered, 'Those are from me.' It was just like her. No one in the Didius family had ever possessed a full set of matching spoons. I was overcome.

'Helena-'

‘Just enjoy your gruel.'

She was playing with a finger bowl. I lifted her free hand – the left – kissed her palm, then gave back the hand. A bracelet of spindle-shaped blue firence beads shivered on her wrist. Nothing else. No silver ring.

So that was it.

I held my ten spoons tenderly, though I felt like a noblewoman's plaything who had been bought off. I made no attempt to control my face. I should have done. Because as I sat in resentful silence the Senator's daughter turned to look at me. And she immediately realized what I thought about the reason for her gift.

I had made a mistake.

One of those moments. Two seconds, to destroy an entire relationship.

One stupid, wrong expression that shatters your life.