PHILOSOPHER BIMM.

Republicans think Jonas Bimm

A Democrat gone mad,

And Democrats consider him

Republican and bad.

The Tough reviles him as a Dude

And gives it him right hot;

The Dude condemns his crassitude

And calls him sans culottes.

Derided as an Anglophile

By Anglophobes, forsooth,

As Anglophobe he feels, the while,

The Anglophilic tooth.

The Churchman calls him Atheist;

The Atheists, rough-shod,

Have ridden o'er him long and hissed

"The wretch believes in God!"

The Saints whom clergymen we call

Would kill him if they could;

The Sinners (scientists and all)

Complain that he is good.

All men deplore the difference

Between themselves and him,

And all devise expedients

For paining Jonas Bimm.

I too, with wild demoniac glee,

Would put out both his eyes;

For Mr. Bimm appears to me

Insufferably wise!

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