Stoneface

Chapter Thirteen

“You and your stupid fucking ideas.” Blurry-eyed and hung over, Gwen sat at the kitchen table with a steaming mug of coffee in front of her.

Liam didn’t look much better. “Hey, you were the one playing Mad Scientist Bartender last night. I thought I taught you better than that. Never mix grape and grain, that’s what I said.” He smiled at her then eventually laughed.

She couldn’t help it. She smiled and laughed with him despite her pounding head. She didn’t want to check her e-mail, knowing, yet again, there wouldn’t be any messages from Tim.

Then again, what had she expected? She had told him not to contact her out of respect for Jack.

God, I’m such a fucking moron. Why had she pushed Tim away just because Jack rejected her?

That hurt almost as much as her hangover.

Liam reached across the table and gripped her hand. “Partners, right? Laurel and Hardy.”

“Abbot and Costello.”

“Ponch and Jon.”

She grinned. “Bugs and Daffy.”

“Pinky and the Brain.” He squeezed her hand. “You okay, Pinky?”

Gwen nodded with a smile that eventually faded. “Yeah. It feels weird though. In a scary, freeing sort of way. Like there’s nothing left to lose. Nothing left to be afraid of.”

He nodded. “Yeah,” he softly said. “That’s exactly what it feels like for me, too.” They stared at each other for a moment. “I want to show you something,” he said. He got to his feet and, without his cane, slowly but steadily walked to his room. He returned a moment later with several sheets of paper and sat beside her. “What do you think?”

She looked through them, print outs from a local RV dealership website. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah. Look, here’s my idea. We get an RV, I’ll put the down payment on it and hell, I’ll even make the payments. We get a tow dolly for your car. We pack up the house and my shit and we put it in storage. We rent out your house, use an agent to manage it for you. That way you don’t have to commit to selling it right now and it’s still making money to pay the taxes and insurance and stuff. We spend a couple of months driving around, wherever we want. California. Florida. Maine. Hell, we can go up to Canada or down to Mexico if we want. An RV is small enough I can get around in it okay, maybe even easier than a damn house. Neither of us are pack rats. We stay in a place for a few days or weeks, we both work during the day, hang out at night and whistle at cute guys.”

She smiled at his hopeful grin. “You do realize the majority demographic of RVers tends to be retired married couples, right?”

“That’s why we keep the Element and tow it. Then we can go cruising together.” He grabbed her hands. “Remember when we were kids we talked about traveling the world together? We were going to climb Everest and Kilimanjaro. We were going to see Paris and Tokyo. We were going to take a cruise and all that shit. Remember that night before I graduated high school?”

She remembered, but hadn’t realized he did. They’d lain outside on a blanket in their backyard, just the two of them, her cuddled against her big brother and staring up at a beautiful full moon in a cloudless sky. They’d talked about seeing the world together, inseparable. She’d worried his graduation was the loss of her brother, her best friend. That he’d go to college and she’d hardly ever see him.

That she’d be stuck there at home, with her parents, and facing her father’s scowling face alone every morning before school. A father who chastised her for “wasting time” taking creative writing classes and who always glorified Amy’s stellar math scores.

Liam had spent that evening alone with her, instead of with his friends, assuring her nothing could be further from the truth. That he would never abandon her.

He never had, either.

She looked at the papers again. He let her think and didn’t interrupt her.

“You can’t drive an RV to Tokyo,” she teased to break the tension.

He grinned. “I know. Fuck Tokyo. I want to see Key West. Heard there’s lots of hot guys there.”

She laughed. “I assume San Francisco’s on the itinerary, too?”

He shrugged. “Why not? We don’t have to travel forever, you know. Let’s give it six months. An extended working vacation. Hell, you can set up book signings and we can deduct it. If we like it, we go another six months, and so on. We don’t like it, we pick somewhere, anywhere, and settle down and have our stuff shipped to us.”

“I feel like I’m about to jump off a cliff.”

He stroked her cheek. “I’ll catch you, sis. I promise. I wubs you.”

She felt tears again and threw her arms around him. “I wubs you too, bro. Okay. Let’s do it.”

Jack worked a lot of overtime starting from the day Tim returned to Rapid City for the next couple of weeks. He couldn’t bear the hurt and pain in Tim’s eyes. When Tim tried to discuss Gwen, he shut him down.

He couldn’t bear it.

Yes, he loved her. But that was stupid, because he barely knew her. Maybe the only reason he reacted the way he did to her was her uncanny resemblance to Mel.

And that wasn’t love. That was bullshit. It wasn’t fair to her, and it wasn’t fair to Tim. How long before the resemblance wasn’t enough to make up for the differences in her personality from Mel?

After a few weeks, he and Tim settled into some semblance of normal, but he noticed his lover was more subdued, less playful.

Morose.

Tim looked and acted like Jack felt.

Miserable.

Missing Gwen.

There were plenty of times he contemplated sending her an e-mail, or asking Tim to go ahead and e-mail her regardless of what she’d said to Tim, but then he’d chicken out. What if she’d already moved on? What if he was wrong and she had only been in it for the fun? If she really wanted them, wouldn’t she have tried harder to hold on to them?

It wasn’t worth the heartache. The new heartache, that was.

He was already used to heartache. Tim didn’t call him Stoneface for nothing.

Jonathan, Markham, and Shelaine didn’t waste any time. The men stripped first, and helped Shelaine out of the remainder of her frocks before collapsing to the soft, down-stuffed mattress.

“You will be a well-fucked woman tonight, love,” Jonathan promised.

She giggled. “Is that so?”

“Yes.” Two days before the full moon, Markham’s voice always sounded nearly like a growl, even when full of sibilants. “We will bury our cocks deep and hard inside you and make you howl like a she-wolf.”

Their searingly filthy language in bed always melted her insides and turned her pussy wet and wanton. “Then fuck me, my mates, so howl I might.”

The men jumped on her, hard and fast, making her smile. Being surrounded by her virile mates, who were perpetually horny this time of the month, always made her feel lustful and beautiful.

Jonathan’s thick member accurately slid home into her pussy, staking its claim there. Markham would have to grab the lotion and take her from behind. “Ah, woman, you unman me—”

“Earth to Gwen,” Liam teased. “You back in werewolf world?”

“Oh, sorry.” She smiled. “Yeah, writing in my head. Occupational hazard, you know.” Her first Pellington Pack novel had soared to number one on her publisher’s bestseller list within twenty-four hours of release. Her editor immediately asked if she had more on the way. She hadn’t originally planned to make it a series, but she wasn’t going to argue or complain at the additional two books they gave her advances on. Being on the beach seemed to inspire her, stoked her imagination.

Gwen buried her toes into the warm, white sand and wiggled them. “So, what do you think?”

Liam sat, his cane in the sand beside him, head thrown back, eyes closed behind his sunglasses. He’d splayed his arms out behind him and looked happier than she’d ever seen him. “Sun. Sand. Waves. It’s fucking snowing in Ohio, did you know that? I looked it up this morning. It’s seventy-five here, and I’m probably getting laid tonight.”

He looked at her with a wide grin. “Life is gooood, sis. Damn good. That’s what I think.”

She couldn’t help but smile with him. Liam had made friends online with a guy, Hal, in Sarasota. Probably not long-term relationship material, he admitted, but they would meet up tonight and possibly spend the night together at a nearby hotel. She’d drive Liam to the restaurant, hang out long enough for Liam to decide if he wanted to go through with it, then she’d return to the RV.

Where she would, invariably, wait up all night with her cell phone in her lap, praying he was all right and having fun.

“No regrets?” she asked.

“Nope. You?”

She shook her head and stared out at the Gulf of Mexico. She missed Tim and Jack, but knew that was a dead end as far as her heart was concerned. She couldn’t get Jack’s angry words out of her mind and didn’t want to try beating herself up for the loss. “No regrets.” She reached over and cupped his hand. “Thelma and Louise.”

He roared with laughter. “I’m not driving off any cliff for you, baby sis, and I’m damn sure not letting you drive off one.” He shifted position and draped an arm around her, then kissed the top of her head. “Wubs you.”

She snuggled closer. She had Liam. So far, romantic love had brought her nothing but heartache. First Dickweed, then Tim and Jack. Liam was the bright spot in her life. For the rest…

Well, she had a vibrator that never let her down—as long as she kept fresh batteries in it. “Wubs you too, bro.”

Liam looked a little nervous as he tried to tie his necktie. He finally gave up and turned to Gwen. “Please?”

She smiled and fixed it for him. “You never wear a tie for me.” She faked a pout.

He laughed. “Um, yeah. I don’t date you, either. You get a tie on your birthday dinner, I promise.” He’d put on jeans, a button-up shirt, and the blue tie covered in flamingoes.

“Why this tie?” she asked.

He looked shocked. “You gave me this tie! It’s my lucky tie.” He smiled and pulled her in for a hug. “Thanks for doing this for me, sis. I really appreciate it.”

“You locked and loaded?” she teased. She’d spotted the empty condom box in the bathroom trash.

“Yeah.” He patted his back pocket. “Armed and ready.” He’d been having a few really good weeks, not even needing his cane. She’d let him drive the Element a little, too, but not tonight. He felt far too nervous to drive. They got in the Element and he sat with his cane propped between his legs as she drove, fiddling with it, anxiously spinning it around between his palms as he stared out the window.

“Second thoughts?” she asked.

“No. Just hoping he doesn’t use a safeword and run for cover.”

“If he does, he’s an asshole who doesn’t deserve you.”

“Leave it to you to cheer me up, kiddo.”

She walked into the restaurant with him, close enough that he could easily reach out and grab her arm if he needed her to steady him. Hal was already there, sitting in the foyer and waiting for them. He stood when they walked in and she hung back for a moment while they shook hands and said hello.

Hal was cute. She felt a momentary stab of envy for Liam—and jealousy that unless Hal turned out to chew with his mouth open, Liam would most likely be busy that night.

“Gee.” She turned when Liam called her. He held out his hand to her and she walked over. “This is my sister, Gwen. Gwen, Hal.”

Hal offered a warm smile and a firm, but not obnoxiously strong handshake. “Nice to meet you. Liam’s told me a lot about you. I love your books, I’ve read all of them.”

Her turn to blush. “Thank you.” She wanted the night to be for Liam, not focused on her.

Dinner was fun, and by time for dessert, Liam had already given her their okay signal. She let out a yawn. “If you boys don’t mind, I’m going to head on back home.” She shook again with Hal. “It was very nice meeting you,” she assured him. She leaned in and hugged Liam and whispered in his ear, “Have fun. Wubs you.”

“Wubs you too, sis.”

She took her time driving back to the RV park, fighting her melancholy as she stared at houses already putting up Christmas lights. They planned to stay in Sarasota another week before heading south to Key West, where’d they’d spend at least a month or two. Then they’d slowly make their way west toward California in the spring. They wanted to avoid any snowstorms. Once spring settled in, they planned to take the Pacific Coast Highway north, through Oregon and Washington, then cut east through Seattle, Spokane, and eventually end up in Rapid City after the mountain passes were clear of snow.

There were a lot of National Parks, monuments, and tourist traps between Key West and South Dakota they could hit, lots of fodder for stories. Liam was already busy coordinating book signings with her agent and publishers all over Florida that winter, so she really couldn’t back out. He worked so hard for her.

And let’s face it, Rapid City is just big enough we could live there and never run into Tim and Jack as long as we don’t get ourselves arrested or go into Tim’s store.

Liam wanted another run at the city, to see the sights he missed the first time around. If she couldn’t handle it, he assured her, they’d roll out east across the state, and head maybe up to Maine before the end of the summer, then back south again. True snowbirds, following the good weather and rolling into bookstore parking lots.

She fired up her laptop and checked her e-mail, ignoring the pang of longing when she didn’t see an e-mail from Tim.

When would that die, anyway? When would her heart give up any hope of getting them back? It’d been stupid to rush into it in the first place, should have known better. Quickies were fun, but not when it meant getting your heart broken in the process.

She shut the computer down and tried to watch TV. Nothing interested her.

The sound of “Wipe Out” on her cell phone made her jump. “Ruthie?”

She sounded…happy. “Hi, Gee. How’s the road tripping?”

“What’s going on?”

Ruthie laughed. “I know, I sound normal, don’t I? Guess what I did today?”

“You finally killed Bob?”

Ruthie laughed again. “No! I took my first driving lesson.”

She sat up. “Your first what?”

“Driving lesson! My brother signed me up, said I should go take them even though I still have my license, to get used to driving again.”

“That’s…that’s fantastic!”

“You want to know what’s even better?”

“Bob fell in a woodchipper?”

Ruthie’s laughed sounded almost alien to Gwen’s ears. How many years since she’d heard her friend genuinely laugh like that? “Not quite. My instructor asked me out on a date.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. He’s nice, too. Divorced, two kids. He gets along with his ex okay, they got married young and grew apart.”

“Holy crap, Ruthie, that’s fantastic!”

“I know, it’s a sign.” She went quiet for a minute. “I also wanted to tell you thank you.”

“For what?”

“Bob finally admitted what he did with Amy. What’s going on with them. He said you saw them at the doctor’s and that you and Liam pretty much disowned her.”

Gwen closed her eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I was afraid to, but dammit, I couldn’t stay there and look at her knowing what she’d done with him. I’m so sorry.”

“No, I know. It’s okay. I understand. But thank you for not abandoning me.”

Guilt pierced her. “Um, I’m halfway across the country, honey, if you haven’t noticed.”

“Yeah, but we talk all the time like we always did, so that’s okay. And you let me rent your house. I can’t thank you enough for this. I mean it.”

“You handling things okay?”

“Yeah. Bob refinanced the house and paid me my half of the equity to buy me out, and he’s buying me a car. He agreed to alimony for ten years unless I get a job paying more, and he’ll pay my health insurance and my deductibles.” She hesitated. “Amy moved in with him last week. They found out they’re having a girl.”

“I bet my parents are going batshit.”

“Not too bad. Your mom’s adopted me.”

Gwen grimaced. “Oh, Ruthie, I’m so sorry.”

Ruthie roared with laughter. “No, it’s okay, really. She’s over here all the time, and she takes me shopping when I need something. Your dad comes over and helps me with the yard and stuff. It’s okay.” Another pause. “She asked me today how you guys were doing, if I’d heard from you lately.”

“She could call. You said you gave her my new number.” Gwen had changed her cell number after two more drunk-dialing calls from Dickweed.

“I think she’s afraid to.”

Another pang of guilt. “Never stopped her before.”

“Maybe you should call her. I know, I know, but do it. It’d make her feel better to hear from you and Liam.”

“Better not call tonight then.”

“Why not?” Gwen explained Liam was out on a date. Ruthie laughed. “Oh. Um, yeah, maybe leave that part out. I think she still hopes he’ll meet a nice girl and settle down.”

“Lucky bastard. The guy’s cute, too.”

“Ah.” Another pause. Gwen began to dread those. “You should call your mom. Seriously. She misses you. I think she understands now. She didn’t see before. She went from having three kids to basically none. Amy won’t talk to them, and your father’s disowned her. Which has left your mom out in the cold because she’s afraid to stand up to your father. I think she wishes they’d handled things differently all the way around. Oh! She actually read your latest book.”

Gwen’s mind raced. She had two come out in the past month, one of them extremely graphic and erotic. “Which one?”

“The tame one, the Gwen one. The mystery.”

“Whew. Oh.” She didn’t know if she wanted to ask. “And?”

“She really loved it. She asked if I had some of your others she could read. Tame ones. I went through your books and loaned a couple to her.”

Gwen hated the hope she felt. That had gotten her hurt before, by unrealistically expecting emotional support from her parents. She knew they loved her, but it would have been nice to have their blessings about something for a change. “Maybe I’ll call her.”

“I would. It’ll make her feel better.”

Gwen hung up and stared at the phone. After several aborted attempts, she finally bit the bullet, pulled up their number, and hit send.

Her mom answered on the third ring. “Gwen?” Her voice sounded soft, like she was trying not to let her dad hear.

“Hi, Mom. I just talked to Ruthie.”

Her mom’s voice dropped even more, like she didn’t want her father to overhear. “How are you doing, sweetheart? How’s Liam?”

“We’re fine. He’s fine. He’s…out at dinner with a friend tonight.”

“Girlfriend?”

“Um, no. Just a friend. Just dinner.” And hot man boinking. “How are you and Dad?”

She suspected her mom had closed herself in her bedroom or one of the other rooms, because her voice sounded a little more normal. “Good. He’s fine, he’s watching TV in the living room.” She hesitated. “I’m sorry things were left that way between us.”

Gwen fought back her tears. “It’s okay. Liam and I needed this. I couldn’t stay there and watch Amy and Bob together. I just couldn’t.”

“Ruthie really is a sweetheart. I understand why you were so close all these years.” Her mom laughed. “She’s putting up with me. I’m trying not to hover, but she’s such a sweetheart. I really enjoy spending time with her, and it gets me out of the house.” Another pause. “Will you and Liam make it home for Christmas?”

She and Liam had enjoyed their first drama-free, guilt-free Thanksgiving a week earlier. Their first Thanksgiving without their parents and older sister. Not to mention they now considered their RV “home.”

“I don’t think so, Mom. Not this year. We’re going to string lights on the RV and sit on the beach.” She needed to say this and get it off her chest. “We love you guys, we really do. Let’s let things settle a few more months with Dad and Amy. Liam and I aren’t ready to deal with her or him yet. We’re okay. Really.”

“How’s his health…” And there they went. Gwen noticed unlike in the past, where her mom might have railed about what he was doing, she listened to what Gwen said.

Actually listened.

Even more importantly, she didn’t gripe or complain or make suggestions. “I’m glad he’s doing so well. I worried all the driving might be bad for him. Sitting for all that time.”

“No, he can get up and walk around. We’re not on the road all that much. We’re parked more than anything. He loves the beach.”

Her mom’s next statement shocked her. “Ruthie helped me set up my own e-mail account. Can you e-mail me pictures and letters?”

Her mom growing a spine? Her father had always discouraged their mom from using a computer because he didn’t like them and didn’t see a valuable use for e-mail when they had a phone. “Of course! I’ve got some I can e-mail you right now.”

“It’s not a big computer, it’s just a little laptop Ruthie had. I think she said this one was Liam’s old one. She made Bob buy her a brand-new one and gave met this one. I’ve got it set up in Liam’s old room.”

Gwen shot off several photos to her mom. A moment later, her mom laughed. “He’s got a tan! He looks so good! I mean, so do you.”

“Yeah. He’s becoming a beach bum.”

A long pause. Gwen began to wonder if the call dropped. “You both look very happy.”

“We are happy. Like I said, just give us some time.” She’d never told her mom about Tim and Jack, never even hinted she’d had her heart broken. Her mom wouldn’t have understood anyway, and Gwen suspected she would have deserved any admonishments for putting herself into such a stupid and scandalous situation to begin with.

“It wasn’t just the family stuff and Amy,” Gwen said. “Liam and I needed to get some away time, to reset our priorities. To spend time together. We both needed it.”

Another long pause before her mom responded. Tonight was pause night. “Is he out on a date?” her mom whispered. “With a man?”

“Do you want the truth?”

“Yes.”

“You promise not to freak out?”

“Yes.”

“He’s on a date with a very nice man. I got to meet him. We all had dinner together. Liam doesn’t think it’ll develop into anything, but he’s making friends.”

“He’s happy though, right?”

Gwen shoved back her wave of irritation. This was true progress. “He’s really happy. He loves you, and he misses you, but he’s making up for lost time and the things in his life that he lost when he got sick. He needs to do this. He’s not dying.”

She heard her mom sniffle. “I’m glad he’s happy. Maybe if he feels like it, tomorrow he can call me. I’d like to say hi. I promise I won’t nag. I miss you both.”

If Gwen didn’t get off the phone soon, she’d start crying. “I’m sure he’d like that. I’m going to go, I need to charge my cell,” she lied. “It’s almost dead. E-mail me, too. I’ll start e-mailing you now that you’ve got it.”

“I’d really like that. Love you, sweetheart. Please tell Liam I love him, too.”

“Love you, too, Mom.” She got off the phone and stared at it. Then she wrapped her arms around her body and cried herself to sleep on the sofa.

Tim sat on the back porch with a beer and stared out at the valley. Normally, this time of year, he was already busy decorating the house and outside with lights and decorations, but not this year.

His heart wasn’t in it.

He heard Jack walk onto the deck but didn’t acknowledge him. Jack pulled up a chair next to him and sat down. They’d had a quiet Thanksgiving with Jack’s parents. His mom had been in a good condition, nearly normal, able to have conversations with everyone. If he hadn’t known she had Alzheimer’s, he wouldn’t have suspected.

Jack let out a sigh. “Can we talk?”

“Sure.” He took another pull of his beer.

“What do you want to do for Christmas?”

Tim shrugged. “I don’t really give a shit.” He shot Jack a pointed look.

“How long are you going to mope around like this?”

“Depends.” He took another drink. This was his third beer. He knew he shouldn’t be drinking, because he was in a foul mood to begin with.

“Depends on what?”

“On how long it takes you to quit being a jackass and call Gwen.”

“She won’t talk to me even if I do, you know that.”

“No, I don’t know that.” He finished the beer and stood. “You broke this. You need to be the one to fix it. She didn’t deserve what you did to her. We could all be having Christmas together right now if it wasn’t for what you did.”

Jack stared at his hands. “I told you, this is for the best.”

“No, that’s the bullshit lie you keep telling yourself because you can’t figure out why the fuck you fell in love with her. I know why I fell in love with her. Isn’t it enough that you do love her?”

“Is it?”

“Christ.” He rubbed his face with his hands. “Man, I love you, but sometimes you are a really dumb fuck, you know that?” He stormed into the house, slamming the door behind him.

Jack stared out at the valley. He didn’t tell Tim that he had tried calling her a few days before Thanksgiving.

The number wasn’t good anymore.

Gwen awoke with a start to find Liam standing over her in the dark RV with a concerned look on his face. “Hey, why aren’t you in bed, sweetie?”

Disoriented, she sat up and looked around. “Um, I fell asleep.” She yawned. “Why are you here? What time is it?”

“Four in the morning.” He sat next to her and shrugged. “It was fun, but I think he and I both knew it would just be a fun night. He brought me home.”

Liam didn’t look upset. “I’m…sorry?”

He laughed. “No, it’s really okay. We agreed friends with bennies was the way to go. Too many differences to make it as more than friends, but attracted enough to each other to…you know, overlook those differences for a night.” He smiled. “Might see him again before we move on, and we agreed to get together whenever we were in town. Plus we’ll keep in touch by e-mail.”

His hair was damp. “You took a shower. Lucky bastard.”

He smiled. “I have to admit, not worrying about hot water and having a shower bigger than a breadbox is a nice luxury. Come on, you can curl up with me and go back to sleep.”

They settled in the back bunk, Gwen nestled in his arms like when they were kids. They’d spent a lot of nights together like that, especially when she was younger and mercilessly teased at school about her braces and glasses. Liam always comforted her even when their father told her she should just suck it up and be tough.

She shoved away her thoughts of Tim and Jack. “Ruthie called,” she said.

“Yeah? How’s she doing?”

“Good. I called Mom, too. Ruthie said I probably should.”

She felt the sudden tension in Liam’s body. “Oh.”

She rolled in his arms to face him. “I told her you were out on a date. She was pretty mellow about it. She said she was sorry about what happened and to tell you she loves you.”

“Go to sleep, kiddo.” She didn’t miss his tight tone. “We’ll talk later in the morning.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead.