Stoneface

Chapter Fifteen

They took their time working their way back to Rapid City over the next eight days, heading up the California coast into Oregon, through Washington state, then across through Spokane to Idaho and beyond on I-90. She spent a lot of time talking with Tim during the drive. He said Jack’s story was best left for Jack to tell, but to trust him when he said it would explain a lot.

She wanted to believe him, but she also didn’t want her heart stomped on a second time. She also knew that it would tear her heart apart to walk away from Tim again.

They spent the night outside of Spearfish instead of pushing all the way into Rapid City. Gwen felt her heart squeeze in her chest when they pulled into the driveway at Tim and Jack’s house. Tim’s car was parked by the house, but not Jack’s truck.

Tim drove them to the hospital. Jack’s truck sat in the parking lot.

Now that she was faced with the reality of a confrontation, she didn’t want to do this. What could he say to her to take back the hurt and pain of the past few months? Didn’t have the stones to talk to her personally?

Liam grabbed her arm and tightly held on after she got out of the car.

“What’s wrong? Do we need to go back for your cane?” she asked.

He laughed. “Nope. I’m keeping you from running away.”

Tim latched on to her other arm. “Good idea.”

Tim led them up to the third floor and down the hallway to a room near the end of the corridor. He stuck his head in first, then waved them in.

“Hi, Bill,” Tim said. A handsome, older man, a preview of how Jack might look in twenty or thirty years, offered them a wan smile. “How is she?” Tim asked.

When Gwen stepped around Tim, she saw the woman lying in the bed. She wore a carefree smile that brightened when she spotted Gwen. “Melodie!” She sat up in bed and clapped her hands together. “Sweetheart, they didn’t tell me you were coming today! Come here and give me a hug!”

With a nervous glance at Tim, who nodded, she stepped closer.

Her husband gently corrected her. “This isn’t Melodie, sweetheart.”

“Of course she is,” she scolded. “I can see her as plain as you.”

Tim spoke up. “Helen, this is our friend Gwen, and her brother, Liam.”

Helen now had a pretty strong grip on Gwen’s hand. “It’s Melodie and Pete, and you darn well know it.” She smiled at Gwen. “Silly men, aren’t they, Melodie? You and me, we know better.”

Gwen felt at a loss, unsure how to respond. She’d never dealt with someone with Alzheimer’s before. Fortunately, her husband stepped in. “Helen, you need to take a nap. It’s time for your afternoon nap.”

“Oh, is it? Okay.” She lay back in her bed. “Will you be here later when I wake up, Mel? I’ve missed you so much. You too, Pete.”

Tim subtly nodded at Gwen.

“Sure we will,” Gwen reassured her.

Ed kissed his wife. “We’re going to step out and let you sleep, all right?”

“All right.”

Out in the hallway, Ed’s strong façade dissolved. Tim enveloped him in a hug. “You all right, Ed?”

“I’ve had better days.” He wiped his eyes and turned to Gwen and Liam. He extended his hand. “Ed Kelly. I’m sorry, but if I didn’t know she was dead, I’d say you were Melodie, too. It’s like looking at a ghost.”

Gwen spared an inquisitive look at Tim, who offered a slight shake of his head indicating he’d tell her later. This must be part of the story Tim had hinted at.

They were making their way down the hall toward the elevators when Jack emerged from one. When he saw them, he stopped in his tracks. Fear gripped her heart, wondering how he’d react.

He strode toward her, grabbed her, and enveloped her in a desperate hug she reluctantly let herself return when it became more than obvious he didn’t want to let her go.

“Jesus, I missed you,” he whispered in her ear. “I love you. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.”

She closed her eyes and really relaxed into his embrace as his words sunk home. “Tim said there’s a story,” she whispered back. “I have a feeling I just figured out a little of it on my own. We met your mom.”

He looked down at her and nodded. “Is she still awake?”

“Probably.”

He laced his fingers through hers and looked at the other three men. “We’ll catch up with you in the cafeteria in a little while.”

Tim offered up a wink and corralled the others, herding them toward the elevators.

Jack led her back down the hall to his mom’s room. Outside the door, he leaned in again and whispered, “I promise I’ll tell you the entire story in a little bit, but not right now. Not in front of her.”

Gwen nodded.

The others had left in an elevator. Jack cupped her cheek with his palm and brushed a kiss across her lips. “I’ve missed you so much, baby. I’m sorry I was an ass. I’m not good at groveling, but maybe if you give me some hints and let Tim coach me, I can do it pretty well.”

She felt her heart slipping again despite wanting to protect herself. “Maybe I won’t make you grovel too badly.”

He led her into the room. Instead of napping, his mom sat up in bed, the TV remote in her hand. She flipped channels randomly, apparently fascinated more by the function of the clicker than the actual programming choices.

“Mom, how are you feeling?”

She smiled at him. “I’m fine. You brought Melodie back. That’s good.” She put down the remote and waggled a crooked finger as she scolded him. “You scared me to death. You told me Melodie died. I knew that couldn’t be right. That was a mean trick.”

Gwen felt his grip tighten on her hand, but she suspected it was his stress, not him trying to impart a silent message to her. “Mom, this is my friend, Gwen Oxford. She’s a writer.”

His mom frowned. “That’s Melodie.”

Jack’s voice softened. “Melodie died in the accident, Mom. She looks a lot like Melodie. You’re just a little confused. That happened nearly twenty years ago.” He released Gwen’s hand and walked over to the bedside, where he sat in the chair his father had vacated moments earlier.

His mother’s face grew sad. “Melodie’s dead?”

He sadly nodded. “Yeah. I’m sorry, Mom.”

“But Pete was here earlier.”

He frowned and looked up at Gwen. She silently mouthed, “Liam.”

Obvious relief washed over his face. “That wasn’t Pete. That was Gwen’s brother, Liam.”

“I could have swore it was Pete I saw earlier. We had a nice chat.”

“No, Mom. It was Liam. Or maybe you’re thinking of Tim. He was here, too.”

“I know who Tim is. I know who Pete is. I saw him before. Then he came back with Gwen.” She looked sad again. “I miss Pete. You three were so happy together.” She stroked his cheek. “I know you three were living together. You couldn’t fool me.” She poked his hand, which rested on the bedrail. “You thought you were fooling me, but I knew better. You and Pete were together, and then you fell in love with her. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t think your father knew about you and Pete. I didn’t know if he’d be okay with it. And it wasn’t our business anyway, as long as you were happy.”

Gwen choked back her own tears as Jack’s eyes filled. “I’m sorry, Mom.”

“Why?”

“I’m sorry if I let you down.”

“Oh, honey, you didn’t let me down.” She reached out and touched his cheek. “I’m so proud of you. You became a detective, you’ve done a lot of good, helped a lot of people. I wish you’d forgive Pete. It’ll eat you up. He can’t forgive himself, either. He told me so.”

Gwen suspected that stretched the limits of Jack’s already obviously fraying control. He leaned in and kissed his mom’s forehead. “I’m going to go grab a quick bite to eat. You should take a nap, Mom.”

“Okay. And say hi to Pete for me if you see him again. During the chat we had before lunch, I made him promise to come see me again tomorrow.”

“Sure, Mom.”

He snagged Gwen’s hand on his way out the door. She thought he’d lead her to the elevator, but instead he detoured to the stairs. In the privacy of the stairwell, he leaned against the wall, pulled her to him, and cried.

She didn’t speak. She held him, stroking his back, wishing he’d opened up to her before instead of lashing out in fear.

Plenty of time to armchair quarterback that later. For now, he needed her.

“You look just like her,” he eventually said. “I don’t mean a little like her, or a faint resemblance. You look just like her. Other than your hairstyle, you could be her.”

A mental chill washed over her. “Who was she?”

He uttered a choked laugh. “I can’t believe Mom knew. I thought we hid it so well. She nailed it, though. Me and Pete lived together. We thought we passed ourselves off as roommates, not lovers. We met Melodie and fell in love with her.” He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against hers. “He killed her.”

She gasped. “What?”

“Drunk driving accident. I’d had late classes, and they went out to dinner. He got drunk and they wrecked. She was thrown from the car. He was driving.”

She held him tighter. “I’m so sorry,” she said. It sounded lame, but it was all she could offer.

“Can you forgive me for being an idiot? I never expected to meet someone like you.”

“If you can forgive me for the donut cracks.”

He kissed her. “Yeah. No problem.”

They stood there for a long moment. She felt the tension in his body, the grief, the stress. “I need you to honestly answer me a question,” she said.

“Okay.”

“Did you fall in love with me for me, or because I look like her?”

The fact that he didn’t immediately answer her question did just that. “I do love you, Gwen.”

“I know you do. But I think we’ve got a lot to talk about later, don’t we?” She hugged him tighter. “If you want me to ever fully trust you, you have to open up and let me in. It’s damn sure not fair to Tim, either.”

He nuzzled her forehead. “I know.”

They left the stairwell, and he detoured into the restroom. She waited for him outside while he pulled himself together. Despite her love for him, she still felt the sting in his words when they parted before, the hurt she carried in her heart for months.

The question she couldn’t yet resolve now that she knew the truth—Would she ever believe he loved her for who she was, or for who he wished she could be?

They rejoined everyone in the cafeteria. After they were seated at a table with the others, Jack laced his fingers through Gwen’s. Tim stared at them from across the table. “Everything copacetic?”

Jack nodded before he looked at Gwen. She squeezed his hand and smiled. “We’ve still got some talking to do, I think, but it’s promising.”

After they bid good-bye to Jack’s father, Gwen rode to the house with Jack in his truck. He reached over and laced his fingers through hers.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there in Laguna,” he quietly said. “I was really looking forward to your book signing.”

“Tim told me.” She stewed for a moment, wanted to blast him, then let out a long, controlled breath. “Why didn’t you call me or write me if you wanted to apologize?”

“I didn’t know what to say. And at first I was so upset I was afraid I’d make it worse.” He looked at her. “Upset at myself,” he clarified. “I wasn’t sure how I felt, and I wasn’t sure how you felt.”

She didn’t know what to say, so she remained quiet.

“If it’s any consolation,” he said, “Tim didn’t speak to me for a couple of weeks.” He offered a sad smile.

That was a major difference, she now realized. He looked so much sadder, more careworn, than she remembered. Seeing the brief smile helped her recognize the look.

“I’m sorry about your mom,” Gwen said. Now wasn’t the time to get into a detailed back-and-forth with Jack about everything. She wanted to decompress, digest the new information, and talk more with Jack when he wasn’t so stressed out over his mom.

“Thanks.” He shrugged. “There’s nothing they can do, really. Medication helps a little, but nothing can stop it.”

She knew that feeling all too well. “Liam’s really lucky. He’s been watching his weight and his diet, staying in shape, staying healthy. He’s on a good mix of meds that are helping keep his MS at bay.” She suddenly choked up. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost him.”

Jack squeezed her hand. “He chewed me out, too,” he admitted.

“He didn’t tell me that.” What else had Liam left out?

“Yep. Called me at work a few days after you two got back to Ohio and bitched me out royally. Worse part is I knew he was right, and I still couldn’t make myself make the call.

Gwen patted herself on the back that she held onto her temper. “Again, why couldn’t you call me?”

“Because I knew I’d fuck it up.” They pulled up to a red light and he looked at her. “And let’s face it, you were pretty pissed at me. Chances are even if I had, you would have let me have it. Right?”

She grudgingly had to admit it. “Yeah. Probably.” Holding her temper didn’t mean she wouldn’t hold back her feelings. “It hurt, Jack,” she quietly said. “It hurt a lot.”

“I’m sorry, babe. Seriously. I admit I was totally out of line that day. I want to make it up to you.” He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it. “I promise I will.”

She would withhold judgment on that. “Let’s just take it one day at a time, okay? Because we still have a lot to talk about, and right now isn’t the best time.”

“Okay.”

They had a quiet dinner together at the house, then moved out to the back deck to talk. She felt emotionally wrung out. As much as she would have loved to crawl into bed with both of them, she knew in her heart that night wasn’t going to be the best night to do it.

Neither man pushed her. She’d had enough talks with Tim over the past several days she didn’t need to rehash it for him. Jack studied the cup of coffee in his hand.

Finally, to break the heavy silence more than anything, she spoke. “You need to know that I’m scared, Jack. I love you, and I love Tim, and it broke my heart hearing those things from you when I left here that day. I’ve done a lot of growing and thinking in the past several months, and I’m not the same person I was.”

He nodded, but didn’t say anything.

“Maybe it was wrong,” she continued, “to just jump into bed with you two the way I did. Maybe I’m not that kind of person. For good or bad, it happened, and that part I do not regret in the least. I do regret that now I’m left with this fear that if I put my heart out there to you again, I’m going to wake up one day and you’re going to turn on me like you did the last time.”

He nodded, but let her continue.

“Do you understand where I’m coming from?”

“All I can do is say I’m sorry, Gwen. I’ve missed you like crazy and regretted letting you leave. I never should have done that.”

She stifled a yawn that overtook her. Nearly dark, she felt like she could fall asleep in her chair. Her body felt heavy despite hope trying to gain a foothold in her heart.

She also knew she had to make a hard decision.

“I think,” she slowly said, “that for tonight I need to sleep in the RV.” Tim started to protest, and she shut him down. “Alone.”

Tim looked a little hurt. Jack wouldn’t look at her. “I have a lot to think about,” she said. “It’s not that I don’t want to be in bed with you two, but let’s be honest. If I go to bed with you two, we won’t be talking, will we?”

Neither man denied it.

“I have no will power when it comes to the two of you. And Jack, you and I need to have a long talk when we’re not so frazzled. Okay?”

Jack nodded. “That’s fair,” he softly said. “I don’t want to pressure you into anything.”

“I know you don’t, and I appreciate it.”

Tim still looked like a sad puppy. She gave him a smile. “I’ll be fine. You’ve had me all to yourself for the past several days. Spend some time with Stoneface.”

She kissed each man. Jack gave her a big hug before letting her go. “I love you, Gwen.”

“I love you, too.”

Tim caught her hand and pulled her onto his lap. “No chance of changing your mind, babe?”

“Not tonight, hon.” She kissed him before standing and stepping out of reach. “Let’s take things slow. It’s worth doing things right this time, okay?”

Both men nodded, and she turned and walked through the house, out the front door, and to the RV.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why am I not sleeping inside with them?

She knew the answer to that. It would be too easy to close her eyes to the questions in her heart, to let them go unanswered.

No more. She refused to live like that. She didn’t want a repeat of Dickweed, where she’d closed her eyes to the truth and only when it rudely smacked her in the face did she finally address it. She could look back and see instances all throughout her relationship with her ex where he was cheating on her, but she’d chosen to believe his lies.

Not that this situation was like that one, but she needed to know exactly where she stood with both men before she let her heart get bruised and battered again.

She refused to be like her mother, ignoring the obvious and making excuses. And then what about Bob? He’d seemed like the perfect husband for all those years, and he cheated on Ruthie, a woman who’d been through so much trauma already.

If a man like Bob would stray, how could Gwen be sure of anything?

Alone and wrapped in the comfort of a blanket, she went to sleep in the back bunk.

The next morning, she was awakened by a soft knock on the RV door. Probably not Liam, because he would have just walked in. She wrapped the blanket around herself and went to open the door.

Jack stood there, dressed for work and looking sheepish. “Hey.”

She felt the way her heart pleasantly flipped when she saw him. “Hey.”

“Breakfast is ready, if you’d like some.”

“Yeah. Okay.”

“Can I come in?”

“Of course.” She stepped aside so he could enter. He pulled the door shut behind him and stood there, looking at her for a moment.

She stepped toward him, and as if perfectly synced, his arms slipped around her and held her tightly to him.

He pressed his face into her hair. “I love you. I don’t want to lose you again.”

“I don’t want to lose you, either. We need to have a long talk, though. Maybe tonight after you get home, okay?”

He hugged her even more tightly. “Okay. Please believe me when I say I’m sorry for what I did.”

“I know you are. I’m sorry I lost my temper. It wasn’t all you. Maybe the problem is we did things too fast the last time. I don’t want to make that same mistake.”

He looked down at her. Gently, tenderly, he brushed a kiss across her lips. “I’ll take however long you need to convince you I mean what I say.”

“Then we’ll talk tonight.”

“Okay.” He led her inside. Liam was already at the table with a cup of coffee in front of him. “Morning, sis. You okay?”

She leaned in and kissed his cheek. “Yep.” She started to sit but Tim grabbed her and planted a passionate kiss on her lips.

“Missed you last night, babe.”

“I missed you, too.” She cast a meaningful look at Jack. “I missed both of you.”

Jack gave her a smile that took years off his face.

She would have to figure out how to get past her pain, one way or the other.

Jack left for work. He had court that morning. Tim and Gwen would go to the hospital to visit Jack’s mom. Liam begged off going with them. He wanted to spend the day relaxing and catching up on work. Gwen suspected he wanted her to have alone time with Tim, too.

She relaxed while Tim drove them to the hospital. His hand stole across the seats, where he laced his fingers with hers. “You have no idea how glad I am you’re home,” he said.

“Technically, I’m not home. The RV is our home.” Despite wanting her own happily-ever-after, she reserved her heart. She still needed to have a long, private sit-down with Jack, and even then, the outcome might not be what she prayed for.

Not if he couldn’t fully open his heart. Love wasn’t enough. She needed to know he loved her for her, not because of Melodie.

Ed hadn’t arrived yet. Helen sat up in bed, intently watching a program about current stock trends on CNBC. She brightly smiled when they walked in. “Tim! Come here and give me a hug, sweetie. I haven’t seen you in so long!”

He gently squeezed Gwen’s hand. Helen must be having a good morning. He leaned in and hugged her. “How are you doing, Helen?”

“Had a nice breakfast earlier. Ed called me a little while ago, he’ll be by after lunch.” She looked at Gwen. “Didn’t I meet you yesterday?” Her face clouded. “I’m sorry. I’m not at my best with names now.”

Gwen stepped forward and held out her hand. “Gwen Oxford. You met me and my brother, Liam, yesterday.”

Recognition dawned. “Ah! That’s right. Pete came by yesterday, and I kept confusing your brother with Pete.”

Tim and Gwen exchanged a sharp look. A heavy feeling settled in the pit of Gwen’s stomach as she sat next to Tim beside the bed.

Helen sadly smiled at her. “You look just like Melodie. She was such a sweetheart. I miss her and Pete so much.” She reached over and patted Tim’s arm. “Not that I don’t love you, Timmy, because I do.”

Gwen suspected his smile was forced. “I know, Helen. I understand.”

“I wish Jack would forgive Pete for what happened. It’s not healthy for him to hold hatred inside all these years. Especially when it was an accident.”

As Gwen opened her mouth in an attempt to steer the conversation in a different direction, a man appeared in the doorway, a small vase of flowers in his hands. He stopped short, his eyes locked on Gwen, his expression filled with shock.

Helen, despite the ravages of her Alzheimer’s, proved faster than any of them. “Pete!” She sat up and waved him in. “Come here! I want you to meet someone!”

He looked ready to run, but apparently forced his feet forward until he stood on the other side of the bed.

Gwen felt Tim’s shock and suspected his thoughts mirrored her own, that Helen wasn’t nearly as out of it yesterday as everyone thought she was.

“Pete Sacher, this is Tim Ellis, and Tim and Jack’s friend, Gwen Oxford.”

Pete nodded. “Hi.”

Tim and Gwen both nodded back and in unison said, “Hi.”

“I don’t want to interrupt you,” Pete said as he set the vase on the bedside table. “I’ll leave you alone—”

“Oh, no you don’t,” Helen admonished. “You’re going to stay and visit with me. I told you, it’s been so long since I’ve seen you. I’ve missed you terribly.”

Looking decidedly uncomfortable, he sat in a chair on the other side of the bed. Gwen didn’t miss how he stared at her, apparently unable to take his eyes off her.

It would have creeped her out if she didn’t know why.

After an hour of mostly uncomfortable conversation, with Helen oblivious to the tension, Pete excused himself. Gwen, wanting to talk to him, also excused herself, leaving Tim to shoot her a questioning look as she took off after the man.

He quickly hurried down the corridor to the elevators. Before the doors could close on him, she rushed inside with him and caught his arm.

“Hi, Pete. Listen, please, can we talk?”

He shook his head. “I really should go,” he mumbled.

“Jack isn’t coming by until after work. Please? Let me buy you a cup of coffee or something.”

Finally, after another glance at her, he nodded. “Okay.”

Once settled at a far corner table, away from others in the cafeteria, she reached across and touched his arm. “Why did you come visit her?”

He sighed. “I loved her and Ed like my own parents. I heard from an old friend of mine that she was in the hospital, and that she’s…well, you know. She’s not going to be coherent for too much longer. I wanted a chance to talk to her and apologize when I knew she would halfway be able to understand me.” He pulled a napkin from a dispenser on the table and started shredding it into tiny pieces in front of him.

“Jack told me you were in jail.”

“I got out last year. I didn’t know he was back in town at first. I was afraid to contact his parents. I didn’t know if they’d even want to see me.”

“Helen said you told her it was an accident.”

Tears welled up in his eyes. He didn’t look at her, just focused on the growing pile of paper scraps in front of him. “I wasn’t driving,” he whispered.

“What?”

“It was still my fault it happened, though.”

Gwen tried to absorb that information. “Why did you tell them you were driving if you weren’t?”

He took a deep breath and finally raised his gaze to hers. “Jack never responded to any of my letters. I stopped trying after a while. I have a feeling he never read any of them. I tried to tell him in them.” He blew his nose on another napkin, then pulled a fresh one from the dispenser and started shredding it. “I had a couple of drinks at dinner. Mel took the keys from me.” His gaze seemed to shift from Gwen’s face to a point inside his own mind as he recalled the events.

“I was just screwing around. Had a good buzz on, feeling good, you know? Started playing around with her in the car while she was driving.” His voice softened even more. “I unbuckled her seat belt and started messing with her while she was driving. Then we rounded a curve and there was a damn deer standing in the middle of the road. She swerved to avoid it. We went off the road and rolled, and she was thrown from the car while I ended up behind the wheel.”

He closed his eyes. More tears squeezed out from under closed lids. “So it was still my fault, wasn’t it? I didn’t want people to know that’s how she died. It was easier to plead guilty and not put her family or Jack through that. He’ll still hate me regardless. I was drunk, I was screwing around with her, and she died because of me. End of story.”

Stunned, Gwen sat back and tried to absorb that. “You should tell Jack.”

“I don’t think I should set foot anywhere near him.”

“You still love him.”

He slowly nodded. “But I know that’s in the past. Helen told me about Tim yesterday. Believe me, I’m not looking for a reconciliation with him. I know that’s not going to happen, and I’m not even going to try. I at least wanted to talk to Helen. She was like a mom to me.” He sniffled and blew his nose again. “She told me yesterday she knew about me and Jack and Mel the whole time.” He laughed. “Kids always think they can fool parents. Doesn’t matter how old the kids or parents, the result is the same.”

He met her gaze again. “You do look just like Mel. I nearly crapped myself when I saw you sitting there.”

She rummaged through her purse and pushed a pen and notepad across the table to him. “Please, give me your phone number and address.”

“Why?”

“Because I have a feeling Tim is going to agree with me that Jack’s never gotten over this, and maybe what needs to happen is he needs to face this head-on and talk to you once and for all.”

He eventually took them and wrote his information before pushing them back across the table to her. “How long have you been with them?” he asked.

She sadly smiled. “Technically, I’m not with them. It’s a long story. Part of that story has to do with Jack never getting over what happened. So if I want a chance to be with them, I think Tim and I need to force Jack to face his past and move on.”

Tim arched an eyebrow at her upon her return to the room. They said good-bye to Helen, and when they reached Tim’s car, he didn’t bother starting it. He turned to her. “Spill it.”

She told him the story. When she finished, he closed his eyes as he shook his head. “Dammit,” he whispered. “Fucking hell.”

“What do we tell him?” She didn’t tell him she’d gotten Pete’s information. She wasn’t sure if Tim would approve of her plan or not and didn’t want Jack to blame him if it blew up in her face.

He opened his eyes, but he sat back in his seat and stared out at the parking lot. “I don’t know the right thing to do here, babe.”

She told him about her conversation with Jack after their arrival. Then she reached out and touched his arm. “Tim, I don’t know if he can get past this unless he deals with it. I can’t spend the rest of my life wondering if he loves me because of a ghost or not.”

He shook his head, and she didn’t miss how his eyes looked moist, as if close to tears himself. “I know, sweetie.” He started the car and began backing out of the parking space. “I know.”

She found Liam on the upper deck, the one leading from the living room. He wore sunglasses, a pair of baggy beach shorts, and flip-flops. He’d staked himself out a cozy work area under the patio table umbrella.

She sat at the table. He looked at her and pushed his sunglasses up onto his forehead. “Spill it, Gee.”

For the second time, she repeated what happened, except she revealed that she’d gotten Pete’s contact information. As she told the story, Liam chewed on his lip and looked out over the valley. “I don’t have any advice to offer,” he said, “except this. If you guys decide on an intervention, it could force Jack into a corner where he tells you all to go to hell. Everyone deals with shit that emotionally kicks their asses in their own way. Some people use anger. Some bury themselves in their work. Some people use hiding in their house and taking an alphabet’s worth of antianxiety meds.” He smiled. “Some move in with their sister.”

She finally smiled. “Not helpful.”

He shrugged. “I don’t have any advice. Can you love Jack for who he is, now, today, knowing he’s got issues? Can you love him the way he is? And here’s the other thing.” He leaned forward and clasped his hands on the table. “Let’s say for the hell of it he does have a confab with this guy. What does it solve? Does it answer the question for you, or does it leave you with more questions? And again, what if he opts not for healing himself, but taking a nuclear option and walking out on both you and Tim?”

He softened his voice. “I love you. My priority is you. I’m not making a judgment call about you and them, because I can see where, if this works out like one of your books, that you could be happy. I want that for you. But you’re first and foremost my little sister. That means it’s up to me to warn you that while it’s obvious Tim’s probably on board, I don’t want you getting your hopes up just to get them crushed again.” He winked. “I don’t think going to jail for beating up a cop because he broke my sister’s heart—again—would look good on my résumé.”

“So I just sit around and always wonder what the hell’s going on inside his head?”

He shrugged. “I’m going to play Devil’s advocate. What right do you and Tim have to force him to talk to this guy?”

Eventually she sighed and turned her gaze to the valley. “None,” she softly admitted.

“Exactly. The question is, where do you go from here? I think Jack really loves you. At some point you’ve got to be able to trust someone about what they say. If you can’t trust him to speak the truth, then can you really give him your heart?”

“I love him,” she said as she felt tears prickling her eyes. “I love both of them. And I missed them so damn much, you know that.” She stood and walked over to the railing and stared out over the valley. “I don’t know if I can trust like that anymore. Not after Dickweed, and not after what Jack said to me that day. I have to be sure before I can make the commitment. Every time I put my heart out there, I get hurt. I’m sick of it. Part of me wishes I’d never gotten involved with them because it hurt so fucking much.”

She turned to him. “Don’t take this the wrong way, bro, but I’d rather spend the rest of my life alone with you than spend it with them and wonder every day if Jack really means what he says.”

Below them, on the lower deck, Tim stood with his eyes closed and his heart pounding as he listened to her and Liam talking. He knew it was wrong to eavesdrop, and he hadn’t meant to, but he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t lose her again. He damn sure didn’t want to lose Jack.

If it took forcing a showdown between Jack and Pete to bring this festering boil to a head once and for all, that’s what he’d do. If it backfired…

Well, he hoped Liam and Gwen would find room for him in the RV.