Terra Incognita

27

To Ruso’s relief, Thessalus seemed to have forgotten about the fish. He gestured Ruso to the stool while he himself sat on the chair, crushing the scroll cases. He frowned at them, made an ineffective attempt to pull one of them out from beneath him, and gave up.

Ruso tried, “How are you this evening?”

Thessalus gave a slow smile. “You don’t need to keep coming to see me, Doctor,” he said. “Don’t worry. All will be well. I have seen to it.”

In the light of the one lamp it took Ruso a moment to realize that Thessalus was smiling not at him but at a spot a few inches beyond his left ear. Ruso turned. The wall was bare. He wished he could see whatever was giving Thessalus the confidence that all would be well, because from his own point of view things were not good at all. During his first visit this afternoon, his patient’s mind had been scuttling about like a startled lizard. Now it was moving more like a… like a slow thing. Ruso had had a long and trying day.

“I have seen to it,” Thessalus repeated, sounding much as Ruso imagined an oracle might sound. “This is my answer. Ambitions, hopes.. it all comes to the same thing in the end.”

“I’ve met some of your patients. The men speak very highly of you.”

“They will not speak highly of me when they know.”

Outside the main door, the guard coughed and shuffled his feet.

Ruso said gently, “You have been troubled, brother.”

“This is true.”

“Your mind has not served you well of late.”

“My hands have served me worse. I did no harm with my mind.”

“You think you have done someone harm?”

Thessalus looked puzzled. “You think it is all in my mind, that it is a dream?”

“We all dream things we do not do.”

“And sometimes we do things we would not dream of.” Thessalus put his head in his hands. His shoulders began to shake.

“Gently, brother.” Ruso leaned forward and grasped the man’s thin arms. Thessalus drew back as if in pain.

“Don’t touch me!”

“I was only-”

“I told you, you must never touch the patient!”

Ruso sat back. He wished he had left this visit until tomorrow. The man had been calm. Now he was in distress.

“All gone now,” Thessalus mumbled. “All over. I am a murderer. I know. I saw it. I felt it.” He began to rock backward and forward. “I can feel it now.”

“Open your eyes, Thessalus. Look at me.”

Without lifting his head Thessalus began to moan softly, “No, no..”

“Look at me, Thessalus. Open your eyes and look up. I am real. Put aside the visions. Just for a moment.”

Slowly, the man’s head lifted.

“What if I can prove to you that you were somewhere else on the night Felix died? What if we find people who saw you?”

“You wish to prove me insane. I am condemned either way.”

“I wish to prove you ill, brother. And soon to be restored to health.”

“But never again trusted.”

“In time, when you are well-”

“You are wasting your time,” Thessalus continued.

“Metellus will find out the truth,” insisted Ruso. “The man who killed Felix will be punished.”

“They will find an innocent native to execute in my place.”

“Not innocent. Nobody believes you did it, Thessalus.”

The glistening dark eyes looked again into his own. “Then you must convince them.”

“First,” said Ruso carefully, “You must convince me. What reason would you have to attack Felix?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know. He was there. His friends beat the native. They ask for justice and cows and we beat them.”

“What did you do with the body?”

Thessalus sighed. “I’m very tired.”

“We’ll talk about this tomorrow. I expect they’ll bring your supper in a minute. Do you want something later to help you sleep?’

“I want something to stop me dreaming. Do you have that in your case? Freedom from one’s own dreams?’

Ruso wished he could place a comforting hand on that of his colleague. “Tomorrow we will begin to sort this out,” he promised. “Tomorrow we will begin to work on a cure.”

“His head,” whispered Thessalus.

“Sleep tonight, brother,” said Ruso. “We will find a way through.”

“What did I do with his head?” said Thessalus.