The Boudoir No. 3

VOLUPTUOUS CONFESSIONS OF A FRENCH LADY OF FASHION

[Translated from the French.}

The chateau of my grandfather was situated near the city of……….. in a delightful country; the park, shaded by fine scattered trees, mostly splendid oaks, or chestnuts, was of great extent and enclosed by walls. The grounds immediately round the house itself being laid out in splendid parterres of the finest flowers, and watered by a little river which traversed a magnificent piece of water, and was lost in the country by capacious meanderings.

My old grandmother, mostly confined to the house, never went much further than the beautiful lake. As to myself my greatest happiness was to wander alone in the most uncultivated parts of the demesne, and in the most retired parts of the park indulge in the reveries of my sixteenth year. These reveries, I ought to confess were always of the same nature; a strange feeling invaded my soul, my young imagination revelled in unknown regions, and presented before my eyes images of tenderness and devotion, in which a young man was always the hero; although profoundly ignorant as to the difference of the sexes, my already awakened feelings moved the whole of my organism, a secret fire circulated in my veins; often a dimness came over my eyes, my limbs trembled, and I was obliged to sit down, a prey to a weakness which combined both pleasure and pain.

It was the month of June, the weather was magnificent, my walks were mostly in the morning when I was sure to be alone.

We received a letter from Madame T., my aunt, who replying to my grandmother's invitation announced her speedy arrival.

Madame T. was about twenty-four or twenty-five, and had been married at the age of twenty to an old man who had left her a widow two years since, mistress of a great fortune, and without children. She was a delightful person, her hair black as ebony, contrasted with the whiteness of her complexion, which was lighted up by her beautiful deep blue eyes. Her mouth, small and pleasing, set off by adorable teeth, as white as the purest ivory, an imperceptible black down shaded her upper lip, giving her a peculiar expression, which, however, had nothing hard or masculine about it; her medium figure, perfectly formed and graceful, with hands and feet of fascinating petitesse; she dressed with taste and elegance.

I loved her very much. Her lively and playful disposition had long captivated me. Accustomed to live with my grandmother, whose age prevented her from affording me any amusement, deprived of companions, I was very happy at the arrival of a relation who would be a friend to me.

A project of marriage had been spoken of between my aunt and Monsieur B., which my grandmother approving, she wrote at once to him, with an invitation to pass some time at the chateau, and in consequence he arrived a few days after my aunt.

What I am going to relate now is very delicate and difficult.

I have hesitated a long time! But after all nobody will read it, I hope so, these lines are for my own perusal. The pictures which I am going to draw are very lively, but they will be true.

What lovers — real lovers, who in each other's arms have not experienced the same? I will add that, even now I am past kissing, I feel a veritable pleasure in recalling the soft enjoyment.

One morning very early, according to my custom, I had gone a long way in the park and sat down at the foot of a tree plunged in my usual reveries.

I saw my aunt, who I thought in bed, some distance off, evidently coming to the little eminence where I was; she was dressed in a fresh peignoir of white and blue.

Monsieur B. was with her, dressed in a suit of nankin and a straw hat, they seemed to be having a lively conversation.

I do not know what secret instinct impelled me to avoid their presence; I hid behind a big tree which completely shielded me from their sight.

They soon arrived at the spot which I had just quitted, and stopping for a moment Monsieur B. looked all around, and convinced that at this hour no one could see them, threw his arms around my aunt, and drawing her to him pressed her to his heart, their lips so joined that I heard a long kiss, which struck to the bottom of my heart.

"My dear Bertha" (that was the name of my aunt); "my angel; my sweet darling! I love you; I adore you. What a frightful time I have passed without you; but soon it will be over! Stop, that I may embrace you again! Give me your beautiful eyes! your lovely teeth! your divine neck! How I could eat them!" he exclaimed.

My aunt, far from resisting, gave herself up to him, returned kiss for kiss, caress for caress. Her colour heightened; her eyes sparkled.

"My Alfred," said she, "I love but you. I am all yours."

One may judge the effect such caresses had upon me. My temperament lighted up as if struck by an electric spark; I was one moment as if paralysed, and lost almost the use of my senses. I recovered myself, however, promptly, and continued to be all eyes and ears. Monsieur Alfred wanted something which I did not understand, and seemed to insist on it.

"No, no, my love," replied Bertha. "Oh, no! not here, I pray you; my God, I never dare! If anyone should surprise us, I should die!"

"My dear, who can see us at this hour?"

"I don't know; but I'm afraid! Stop, you see I couldn't; I should have no pleasure. We will seek a way of doing it; have patience, I beg."

"How do you speak of patience in the state I am in! Give me your little hand; feel him yourself!"

He then took the hand of my aunt, and placed it in such a curious place, that it was impossible for me to understand the cause. But it was worse when I saw this hand disappear in a certain slit, which she had presently unbuttoned, she seized an object which I could not see.

"Dear Mimi," said she, "I see very well how much you want me. How beautiful you are, and I should like it so. If we had only some retreat, I would soon put you to the proof."

And her little hand moved softly, to the great apparent pleasure of Monsieur B., who, immovably erect, his leg a little open, seemed most profoundly pleased — a moment of silence.

"Ah!" suddenly exclaimed my aunt, "what an idea! Come, I recollect, there is near here a pavilion of necessity, you know. It is a curious place for our love, but no one will see us, and I can be all yours, come."

I must explain that the pavilion of which my aunt spoke was intended for us poor humanity, it was constructed like a thatched cottage, and properly appointed in the interior.

Protected by some high brambles, I could approach them without fear of being seen. This I did with infinite precautions, and got to the back of the pavilion at the moment when Bertha had already entered, and Monsieur B., after looking all around also came in and drew the bolt. I sought out a convenient peep hole, and soon found one, as the planks and beams were badly joined, sufficiently large to enable me to see everything. I applied my eye, as I held my breath, and was witness of what I am going to relate.

Bertha, hanging on the neck of Monsieur B., devoured him with kisses.

"Come," she said, "my darling, I was very unhappy to refuse you, but I was afraid. Here, at least, I am assured. This beautiful Mimi, what pleasure I am going to give him. Hold, I come already in thinking of it! But how shall we place ourselves?"

"All right; but first let me see again my dear Bibi, it is such a long time I have wanted her."

You may guess what my thoughts were at this moment. But what were they going to do? I was not left long in suspense.

Monsieur B., going down on one knee, raised the skirts of Bertha. What charms he exposed! Under that fine cambric chemise were legs worthy of Venus, encased in silk stockings, secured above the knee by garters of the colour of fire; then two adorable thighs, white, round, and firm, which rejoined above, surmounted by a fleece of black and lustrous curls, the abundance and length of which were a great surprise to me, compared above all to the light chestnut moss which commenced to cover the same part in myself.

"How I love it," said Alfred. "How beautiful and fresh it is! Open yourself a little, my angel, that I may kiss those adorable lips!"

Bertha did as he demanded; her thighs, in opening, made me see a rosy slit, upon which her lover glued his lips. Bertha seemed in ecstasy! Shutting her eyes, and speaking broken words; making a forward movement in response to this curious caress, which transported her so.

"Ah, you kill me… encore!.. go on! It's coming… I … I… I'm coming!.. Ah, ah!"

What was she doing? Good God! I had never supposed that any pleasure pertained to that part. Yet, however, I began to feel myself in the same spot some particular titillations, which made my understand it.

Alfred got up, supporting Bertha, who appeared to have lost all strength; but she soon recovered herself, and embraced him with ardour.

"Come, now, let me put him in," she said. "But how are we going to do it?"

"Turn yourself, my dear, and incline over this unworthy seat; let me do it."

Then, to my great surprise, Bertha, by rapid and excited movements, herself undid the trousers of Alfred, and lifting his shirt above his navel she exposed to my view such an extraordinary object, that I was almost surprised into a scream. What could be this unknown member, the head of which was so rosy and exalted, its length and thickness giving me a vertigo?

Bertha evidently did not share my fears, for she took this frightful instrument in her hand, caressed it a moment, and said — "Let us begin, Monsieur Mimi, come into your little companion, and be sure not to go away too soon."

She lifted up her clothes behind and exposed to the light of day two globes of dazzling whiteness, separated by a crack of which I could only see a slight trace; she then inclined herself, and, placing her hands on the wooden seat, presented her adorable bottom to her lover.

Alfred just behind her took his enormous instrument in hand, and wetting it with a little saliva commenced to intro120 duce it between the two lips which I had perceived. Bertha did not flinch, and opened as much as possible the part which she presented, which seemed to open itself, and at length absorbed this long and thick machine, which appeared monstrous to me; however, it penetrated so well that it disappeared entirely, and the belly of its happy possessor came to be glued to the buttocks of my aunt.

There was then a conjunction of combined movements, followed by broken words — "Ah!.. I feel him… He is getting into me," said Bertha. "Push it all well into me… softly… let me come first. Ah!.. I feel it… I'm coming!

Quicker! I come… stop… there you are! I die… I…

I… Ah!"

As to Alfred, his eyes half closed, his hands holding the hips of my aunt, he seemed inexpressibly happy.

"Hold," said he, "my angel, my all, ah! How fine it is!

Push well! Do come!.. there; it's coming, is it not! Go on… go on… I feel you're coming… push well, my darling!"

Both stopped a moment; my aunt appeared exhausted, but did not change her position; at length she lightly turned her head to give her lover a kiss, saying — "Now, both together! You let me know when you are ready."

The scene recommenced. At the end of some instants, Alfred, in turn, cried out — "Ah!.. I feel it coming… are you ready, my love? Yes… yes… there I am… push, again… go on… I spend… I am yours. I… I… Ah!

What a pleasure… I… sp-… I spend!"

A long silence followed; Alfred seemed to have lost his strength, and ready to fall over Bertha, who was obliged to put her arms straight to bear him. Alfred recovered himself, and I again saw that marvellous instrument coming out of the crack, where he had been so well treated. But how changed he was. His size diminished to half, red and damp, and I saw something like a white and viscous pearl come from it and drop to the floor.

Alfred began to put his clothes in order; during which my aunt, who had got up, put her arms round the neck of her lover, and covered him with kisses.

What had I been doing during this time? My imagination, excited to the highest degree, made me repeat one part of the pleasures which transported my actors.

At the critical moment I lifted petticoat and chemise, and my inexperienced hand contented itself by exploring that tender part. I thus assured myself that I was made the same as Bertha, but I knew not yet what use or consolation that hand could give. This very morning was to enlighten me.

After plenty of kissing, Bertha said to Monsieur B."Listen, my dear, I have been thinking. You know that my apartment is quite isolated; without my fernme de chambre, who sleeps in the ante-room, no one could know of our rendezvous, and we could pass some adorable nights together.

"Under a pretext of wanting something for my toilette, I will send Julie to Paris to-morrow afternoon, and after the evening we can join each other. Be on the look out, you can give me a sign during the day of the hour when you can slip away to me. I beg you to take the most minute precautions."

It was then decided that Monsieur B. should go first. He was to take a walk out of the park, and during the time my aunt would regain her room by the private staircase. Monsieur B. went out, and I remained hidden in my brambles till he was sufficiently far off not to have any fear of being perceived by him. Observing that my aunt had not yet come out, I stopped and looked again. There was in the pavilion a chamber pot and wash basin; I saw Bertha fill the latter, lift up her petticoats, and stoop over it. She was placed right in front of me, and nothing could escape my view.

As she did this her slit opened, it seemed to me a much more lively carnation, the interior and the edges, even up to the fleecy mound which surrounded it, seemed inundated with the same liquour which I had seen come from Monsieur B.

Bertha commenced an ample ablution, and I was going away from my place as softly as possible when I remained fixed, glued to the spot. The hand of my aunt, refreshed with care all the parts which had been so well worked. All at once I saw her stop still, then a finger fixed upon a little eminence which showed itself prominently; this finger rubbed lightly at first, then with a kind of fury. At length Bertha gave the same symptoms of pleasure which I had often seen before.

I had seen enough of it! I understood it all! I retired and made haste to take a long tortuous path, which brought me to the chateau. My head was on fire, my bosom palpitated, and my steps tottered, but I was determined at once to play by myself the last act I had seen, and which required no partner.

I arrived in my room in a state of madness, threw my hat on the floor, shut and double locked the door, and put myself on the bed. I turned up my clothes to the waist, and, recollecting to the minutest details what Bertha had done with her hand, I placed mine between my legs. Some essays were at first fruitless, but I found at length the point I searched for.

The rest was easy; I had too well observed to deceive myself.

A delicious sensation seized me; I continued with fury, and soon fell into such an ecstasy that I lost consciousness.

When I came to myself I was in the same position, my hand all moistened by an unknown dew.

I sat up quite confused, and it was a long time before I entirely came to myself. It was nearly the hour of dejeuner, so I made haste to dress and went down.

My aunt was already in the salon with my grandmother. I looked at her on entering; she was beautiful and fresh, her colour in repose, her eyes brilliant, so that one would have sworn she had just risen from an excellent morning's sleep, her toilette, in exquisite and simple taste, set off her charming figure. As to me I cast down my eyes and felt myself blush.

My grandmother noticed my agitation and told me so. I replied that I had overslept myself, and contrary to habit had not taken my morning walk.

My aunt embraced me, and talking of one thing and another I recovered myself completely.

Monsieur B. came soon, and telling us of an excursion to a neighbouring village, we sat down to table.

I took care, without being seen, to notice everything which passed between Monsieur B. and my aunt. I must acknowledge I was disappointed and greatly surprised. Not a look to show there was anything whatever between them.

About the middle of the repast my aunt carelessly remarked to my grandmother — "Dear, good mother, I was so forgetful on leaving Paris that I have forgotten several indispensible necessaries. Have I your permission to send my femme de chamhre to-morrow to fetch them? Do not put anyone out.

I am used to attend to myself, and it will only be a short absence."

The day passed quietly, Monsieur B. took a long ride on horseback; we went and sat by the piece of water, amusing ourselves by needlework; some neighbours came to visit my grandmother, and she kept them to dinner.

In the evening we had music, and I sang a duet with my aunt. Although already a good musician, and having a fine voice, I was not equal to my aunt, who gave me some excellent lessons in taste and feeling.

Monsieur B. played whist with my grandmother, and was completely reserved.

I retired about eleven o'clock, and impatient to be alone with my thoughts, so I went to bed quickly and dismissed my femme de chambre. I had no doubt that the next evening would be the time for a serious meeting between Monsieur B. and my aunt. I burned to assist at the delicious scenes which would be enacted. I must find out how to be there.

Knowing all the ways of the house, I thought over the plan of my aunt's apartment. It was situated on the second floor, the same as mine, but at the opposite extremity. A corridor gave communication to all the rooms on this floor; Monsieur B. was also lodged on the same flight, in a turning off the principal corridor.

My aunt had at her disposition a little room in which a bed was made up for her femme de chambre, a beautiful bedroom and a dressing room. I recollected that this cabinet, which occupied about one-third of the side of the room, used to be contiguous to an alcove, now closed by a strong partition, I also remembered a small hole in the upper part of the alcove, only stopped up by a small and very indifferent oil painting of a pastoral scene.

A door in an unoccupied room gave access to this kind of dark closet.

It was on these recollections I arranged my plan, then went to sleep, full of resolution and hope for the following day.

Mdlle. Julie started for Paris, as it had been arranged.

Monsieur B. and my aunt were more reserved than ever.

However, I found out what I wanted to know as the day wore on.

After dinner Monsieur B. leaned negligently on the mantelpiece, pretending to admire the pendulum of a superb ormolu clock; he placed his finger for a moment on the figure XI, then on the figure VI; it was easy to understand that he intended to say half-past eleven. My aunt responded by a slight movement of her eyes. I knew then all I wanted, it only remained then to make my preparations.

When we were seated in the garden Monsieur B. offered to read to us, which was accepted.

I soon slipped away under some pretext, and, sure of being unobserved on the second floor, went to the little door of the dark closet, of which I have spoken. (Continued on page 138) The Lady Hobart, everyone being sat at the table to dinner, and nobody giving a blessing, but gazing one upon another, in expectation of who should be chaplain — "Well," said my Lady, "I think I must say as one did in the like case, 'God be thanked, nobody will say grace.'"