The Boudoir No. 3

EPIGRAM

The sovereign Midas, once 'tis said of old, Whate'er he touch'd, could instant change to gold;

Now German Monarchs view their legions dead, And boast their art to draw their gold from lead.

The Duke de R- saw a beautiful girl at a ball at Paris, he sent his aide-de-camp to tell her he would give her fifty guineas for a single hair beneath her eyebrows (meaning her eyelashes, it is presumed). The girl sent her compliments to the Duke, and gave him to understand that she was not a retail merchant, but if his Grace chose to purchase the whole at that price, they were at his service.

Not long ago, a very worthy curate, asking for a living, and as simple as need be, finding that a neighbouring living was vacant, wrote to a gentleman who he thought could forward his pretensions. As his wife was going into that part of the country, he entrusted the letter to her care. The letter was in these words:

"Most worthy Sir,

"Through the 'channel of my wife,' I entreat your endeavour to oblige me. The living of…….. is become vacant, and if you could put me in, I should, God willing, never forget the obligation. My wife will return in two days, and any good wishes and endeavours to serve me, may be communicated, by the blessing of Providence, through her means. I am, amp;c."

The following answer came back:

"Dear Sir,

"Your wife having 'laid before me' the whole matter of your request, I am sorry to tell you the 'thing is filled up'; you cannot be more sorry than I am on this disappointment; but you may depend on it, should another 'opening' present itself, I will 'stand' your friend, amp; Your's, amp;c."

A noble lord, lately married, was observed to bestow more time and attention in examining his bride's estate than might have been expected on his wedding day; but it was natural, that on entering into possession, he should be desirous of surveying the premises.

As the Duke of Sully was going one morning into the chamber of Harry the Fourth of France, he met a lady whom he knew to have been with him on a private account. When Sully came, the King began to complain in a mournful tone,

"Ah, Sully! I have had a fever upon me all this morning, it has but just left me." "I know it, sire," says Sully, "for I met it going away all in green!"

Lady Archer, driving through Pall Mall, exclaimed to her coachman, "Why, John, I cannot make this horse answer the whip." "Tickle him under the a e, and please your ladyship," replied honest John, "and you will be sure to make him feel."