The Cold Nowhere

29

‘Nice place,’ Serena said, as Stride turned on the light in his office. She eyed the half-dozen moving boxes scattered on the floor. ‘One of these days maybe you’ll unpack and stay a while.’

‘Someday.’ He reached for a folder on his desk and flinched in pain.

‘Does your shoulder hurt?’ she asked.

‘Yeah.’

‘Next time, duck,’ she said, smiling.

‘Thanks.’

Serena picked up the photo of Cindy on his credenza. The picture was the only personal item she saw in his office. She studied Cindy’s face, noticing the flirty confidence in her eyes and smile. Stride’s first wife was cute, but not anyone’s idea of beautiful. She had straight dark hair, parted in the middle, and a sharp little V-nose. It was her attitude that made her attractive. Always teasing. Always full of life.

Serena had never met Cindy. She’d been dead for years when Serena first arrived in Duluth. Had they met, she thought that she would have liked Cindy, so it was strange how jealous she felt of her. She’d always imagined that she was competing with Cindy for Stride’s heart.

She noticed him watching her. He didn’t say anything.

‘I’m going to the ladies room,’ she told him.

‘Okay. I have what I need. We can go back to the Point.’

‘Thanks.’

‘You want to hang around before you head home? I could use a drink.’

‘Maybe I will.’

Serena went into the dark hallway of the police headquarters. She saw a sign for the restroom, and she went inside and stood in front of the wide mirror. Her face was dirty from the rain and road spray at the highway site so she ran hot water and washed her skin, removing her makeup at the same time. Her natural face stared back at her. She ran a long nail over the age lines that had crept beside her mouth.

As she stood by the mirror, the bathroom door opened. In the reflection, she saw Maggie Bei.

The small Chinese cop stopped in awkward surprise as she spotted Serena. She reached for the door to leave, but then she shrugged and let it swing shut behind her. She came up to the mirror, standing in front of the twin sink. She washed her hands without looking up at the glass.

‘Hi,’ Maggie said.

‘Hi,’ Serena replied.

Maggie turned off the water and flicked her hands into the bowl. She took a paper towel and dried them. ‘I figured you’d be coming to town. You working with Stride?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Good.’ Maggie worked her mouth as if she were chewing gum. She gestured with her thumb at the bathroom door. ‘So do I need my gun?’

‘If I were going to kill you, I’d use my bare hands,’ Serena said.

‘Nice. Okay.’

‘If you have things to do in here, don’t let me stop you.’

‘Actually, things just sort of squeezed shut on me. Weird.’

‘Yeah, weird,’ Serena said.

They stood next to each other in silence. One of them had to leave, but neither one did. Maggie played with her bangs. Serena bent forward toward the mirror and smoothed her eyebrows.

‘Black hair again, I see,’ Serena said.

‘Uh huh.’

‘I didn’t tell you, but the red was awful.’

‘Thanks.’

‘So you and Jonny went nowhere. Gee, that’s too bad.’

‘I guess sticking the pins in the Maggie doll worked.’

‘I guess.’

‘Do you want to slap me or something?’ Maggie asked. ‘Would that make you feel better?’

‘If it would, I’d have already done it.’

‘Right. Sure. Mind if I tell you something?’

‘Go ahead.’

‘Fuck off, Serena.’

Serena straightened up. ‘Well, that’s mature.’

‘Hey, if you want to torture me, go ahead. I don’t care. I already told you that I never meant for anything to happen with Stride, but it happened. I can’t change that. I get it that you can forgive him, not me. I don’t expect us to be best friends again.’

‘Good.’

‘Just don’t expect me to walk away. I’m his friend. I’m his partner. I’ve known him longer than you have. I’m not going anywhere.’

‘Yeah, I always know where I can find you, Maggie. Right next to Jonny.’

‘If you think I’d let anything happen between us again, you’re crazy.’

‘Said the spider to the fly.’

‘I mean it.’

‘I know you do, and if you think I believe you, you’re crazy.’

Maggie grabbed the door and opened it halfway. ‘This is getting us nowhere. You know what’s too bad? I still like you, Serena. I hope someday we’ll be able to get past this.’

Serena said nothing.

‘One thing,’ Maggie went on. ‘If you’re working with Stride, do me a favor. Watch his back.’

‘Meaning what?’

‘I don’t trust Cat Mateo. She’s obsessed with knives, and I think she’s becoming obsessed with Stride. I don’t like it.’

‘Jonny can take care of himself.’

‘Yeah? For all we know, Cat murdered Vincent Roslak. Hell, maybe Margot figured it out and Cat killed her, too. Did you think about that?’

‘Come on. This girl’s not a serial killer.’

‘I forgot, you’re biased, too,’ Maggie said. ‘Stride feels guilty because of Michaela. You feel guilty because of your childhood. What a cute little co-dependent trio you guys make.’

‘I’ve never worn rose-colored glasses about anyone. Except maybe you.’

‘Fair enough. I deserve that, but I’m not kidding around. I got a call from a friend of mine on the Minneapolis police. Ken McCarty. He did some digging on the Roslak case and he found something about Cat in Roslak’s files. A video. He says it’s pretty scary stuff.’

‘Ken McCarty,’ Serena said. ‘Is he the latest friend you’re sleeping with?’

‘Where the hell did you hear that?’ Maggie demanded. ‘Did Stride tell you?’

‘Guppo knows. You can’t keep things from Guppo.’

‘Fine. I’m sleeping with Ken. So what?’

‘Well, you can see why I don’t exactly swoon when you cross your heart and swear that you and Jonny are just friends. You seem to make a habit of fucking your friends.’

Maggie’s fists clenched. ‘All I’m saying is, you need to be careful about Cat.’

‘Understood. Is that all you want to say?’

‘No, it’s not.’ Maggie dug in her pocket and pulled out a ring of keys. She flipped the keys until she found the one she wanted, and then she pried it off the chain. She held it in front of Serena’s face. ‘See this? It’s Stride’s key. I’ve had it for years. Back when Cindy was alive? I had the key. When you two were shacking up? I had the key.’

Maggie slapped the key on the bathroom sink in front of Serena.

‘Now I don’t have it anymore.’

*

Stride and Serena sat on the screened porch at the back of his cottage, with their feet propped on an old plastic cooler. He had a bottle of Miller Lite in his hand. Serena, who didn’t drink, sipped mineral water. He felt as if time had gone backwards; this was like old times. It was dark and cold, and the lake growled beyond the dunes. In the main part of the house, they heard the buzz of the television. Cat had fallen asleep on the leather sofa in the living room, and they’d left her there.

‘Do you think Maggie could be right?’ Serena asked, after a long stretch of silence filled with nothing but the rush of the waves.

‘About Cat? No, I don’t.’

‘She says Ken McCarty found a video of Cat and Roslak. It’s not good.’

‘I wouldn’t trust anything involving Roslak.’

He shook his head to stay awake. He found his eyes drifting shut.

‘What about the murders? There’s still no sign of the stolen Charger?’ Serena asked.

‘None.’

‘Maybe the killer knows there’s evidence inside. Blood, DNA.’

‘Or maybe he knows that if we tie the car to Kim’s death, Cat’s off the hook.’

He heard Serena sit up straighter in the darkness. ‘What do you mean?’

‘I mean, why stab Kim Dehne with a knife? There are cleaner, faster, easier ways to kill someone.’

‘Roslak was killed the same way. This guy could be a psychopath. What’s your point?’

‘My point is, what if Cat hadn’t gotten away?’

‘He’d have stabbed her, too.’

‘I wonder.’

‘You don’t think so?’

‘I think we never would have seen Cat again,’ Stride said. ‘If we found Kim Dehne stabbed to death, and Cat was nowhere to be found, what would we be thinking right now?’

‘We’d be thinking Cat killed her,’ Serena concluded.

‘Exactly. Maybe Roslak and Margot, too.’

‘But why try to frame Cat? Why not just kill her? He’s been after her for weeks. What’s changed?’

‘Cat came to me,’ Stride said. ‘I started listening to her.’

Serena took another drink of mineral water, and the plastic bottle crackled. ‘There’s something I don’t understand, Jonny. Bill Green said Margot was asking about Cat’s parents. Why? What was she looking for?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Was there anything unusual about their deaths?’

‘No, it was a straightforward murder-suicide.’

‘So what did Margot want?’

‘Maybe she wanted to get inside Cat’s head.’

Serena was quiet. ‘You know, you never told me the truth about you and Michaela,’ she said finally. ‘I know she was important to you.’

She’d opened the door for him, and all he had to do was walk through it. All he had to do was open up. He wanted to tell her. He wanted to do what she’d done for him and lay himself bare. He wanted to let Michaela into his soul again and share her with Serena, but instead he sat frozen. He didn’t say a word, which was the worst thing he could do.

Next to him, Serena stood up, and her demeanor was suddenly like a cool breeze blowing on the porch. He knew she was angry at his silence. ‘I have to go.’

‘It’s too late to drive back to Grand Rapids. Use one of the other bedrooms.’

‘I don’t mind the drive. Good night, Jonny.’

‘Serena, wait.’

He stood up and took hold of her shoulders and turned her around. He remembered the feel of her body. He could barely see the contours of her face, but he’d memorized them years ago. She was close, but she was distant from him. He’d pushed her away again.

‘There are things you don’t know,’ he said. ‘I have secrets I’ve never told anyone.’

‘I know more than you think. You feel guilty. You promised to protect Michaela, and you failed. She was probably half in love with you. Maybe more than half. It’s okay. I just wish you’d told me.’

‘It’s not just that. There’s something else.’

‘What is it?’

She waited for him, and he thought: Tell her. He could hear Cindy’s voice in his head, and she said the same thing. Tell her. It was the right time to free himself. It was the right time to admit it. Instead, like a stranger, he said nothing at all.

The moment slipped away from them.