The Drowning Child

43

Jimmy Lyle had missed seven calls from the same number. His phone was on the passenger seat beside him, ringing now for the eighth time.

‘No!’ he shouted, gripping the steering wheel. ‘No, thank you!’

It stopped, then rang again.

‘Fuck you all! Fuck you all, people!’

He reached out, and picked up. ‘Yes?’

‘Is this Mr Jimmy Lyle?’

‘Yes, ma’am.’

‘This is Nadine Jacobs from the retirement home. Have you got someone there with you, Mr Lyle?’

‘It’s Jimmy. And yes. I’ve got my friend here beside me.’ He rolled his eyes.

‘I’m afraid I’m calling you with bad news...’

Jimmy’s heart started to pound.

‘It’s your father,’ said Nadine. ‘I’m sorry to have to tell you that your father passed away, Jimmy. He took his own life early today.’

‘Well, thank you for letting me know.’

Silence.

‘Are you all right, Jimmy?’ said Nadine.

‘I’m all right.’ He paused. ‘How did he do it?’

‘Well, I’m not sure you—’

‘You can tell me.’

‘He... well, he hanged himself. We’re so terribly sorry. I know he wasn’t with us long, but he seemed like he was settling in, he showed no signs of depression, he wasn’t taking any meds.’

‘He “passed away” by hanging himself,’ said Jimmy. He laughed. ‘Sounds so gentle “passing away”. None of that writhing about, eyes bulging, face bright red, being starved of oxygen, scratching at your neck, trying to pull the noose off at the last minute...’ He paused. ‘Though I doubt Daddy was having second thoughts.’

A silence stretched between them. ‘You’ve had a shock,’ said Nadine.

‘I’m not so sure that I have,’ said Jimmy.

‘Oh,’ said Nadine. ‘Well, you could have let us know if you thought—’

‘I’m not holding you or anyone else there responsible for this,’ said Jimmy. ‘I didn’t really know. I’m just saying...’ He paused. ‘I’ve had a shock.’ He rolled his eyes again.

‘Could anything have triggered this?’ said Nadine. ‘Did anything happen that might have upset him?’

‘Not that I’m aware of.’

‘We have very strict rules in place here,’ said Nadine. ‘I don’t know how your father could have—’

‘Nadine, Daddy had a way of getting to do whatever it was he wanted to do.’

‘He didn’t leave a note,’ said Nadine.

‘That wouldn’t have been his style,’ said Jimmy.

‘I didn’t think he was lonely here,’ said Nadine. ‘I mean, like I said, he seemed to be getting along with people.’

‘He had a way of seeming like that,’ said Jimmy. He paused. ‘But I don’t think loneliness is the number one cause of suicide, Nadine.’

A silence stretched between them.

‘Well, his personal effects are here for you to collect,’ said Nadine. ‘And again, we’re terribly sorry for your loss. His body is currently at the Medical Examiner’s office, and will be removed to Longacres Funeral Home, as per your father’s wishes – he left quite detailed instructions with us when he moved in. They’re in his file. You might want to call Longacres to confirm the arrangements...’

‘Thank you for the call, Nadine. I’m on vacation right now, but I guess I’ll be turning this ship around.’

He ended the call, and roared into the windshield. ‘Fuck you, Daddy! Fuck you! Fuck you!’ He hammered his hands on the steering wheel. ‘I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. I hate you, I hate you.’