The Hot Country

3

So I beat it down to the docks, where I found out the location at sea of the German ship, the Ypiranga, said to be carrying fifteen million rounds of ammunition. Then I stopped at the telegraph office where Clyde had wired me. It seemed that half the Great White Fleet was also headed in my general direction, including the troopship Prairie, the battleship Utah, and Admiral Fletcher’s flagship, the Florida. Things were getting interesting, but for now all there was to do was wait. So I ended up at a cantina I reconnoitered near my rooms.

Not that thoughts of Luisa Morales came back to me while I was drinking, not directly. I soaked up a few fingers of a bottle of mezcal and sweated a lot at a table in the rear of the cantina with my back to the wall and I watched the shadows of the zopilotes heaving past, the mangy black vultures that seemed to be in the city’s official employ to remove carrion from the streets, and I thought mostly about what crybabies Thomas Woodrow Wilson and his paunchy windbag of a secretary of state William Jennings Bryan turned out to be. They complained about the dictator right next door in Mexico and his likely complicity in the murder of the previous president — not to mention his threat to American business — but when they finally found an excuse to invade the country, they grabbed twelve square miles and stopped and sat on their butts. Out of what Wilsonian moral principle? The one that let him invade in the first place but only a toehold’s worth. What principle was that, exactly? I lifted my glass to Teddy Roosevelt and toasted his big stick.

I’d done that same thing in Corpus Christi a couple of weeks earlier with a guy who knew how it would all happen. I was waiting in Corpus for my expense money to show up at a local bank. I found a saloon with a swinging door down by the docks, but the spot I always like at the back wall had a gaunt hombre in a black shirt with a stuffed bandolera and beat-up black Stetson sitting in it. He saw me look at him. Coming in, I’d passed a couple of Johnnies rolling in the dirt outside gouging each other’s eyes and I didn’t want to add to the mood, so I was ready to just veer off to the rail. But the guy in the Stetson flipped up his chin, and the other chair at the table scooted itself open for me, a thing he did right slick, timed with the chin flip, like the toe of his boot had been poised to invite the first likely-looking drinking buddy.

So I found myself with Bob Smith and a bottle of whiskey. He was gaunt, all right, but all muscle and gristle, of an indeterminate age, old enough to have been through quite a lot of serious trouble but young enough not to have lost a bit off his punch. He had eyes the brown you’d expect of mountain-lion shit. He didn’t like being called a “soldier of fortune,” if you please, he was an insurrecto from the old school, ’cause his granddaddy had stirred things up long before him, down in Nicaragua, and his daddy had added to some trouble, too, somewhere amongst the downtrodden of Colombia before all the stink about the canal, so this was an old family profession to him, and as far as personal names were concerned, I was to address him by how he was known to others of his kind, which was to say, “Tallahassee Slim.”

I said, “There’s a bunch of you Slims in all this mess, it seems.”

He agreed happily, listing a few. Cheyenne and Silent and San Antonio. Dynamite and Death Valley and Deadeye. He and Birdman Slim had even spent time together with Villa last fall. Birdman was apparently Villa’s one-man aeroplane regiment, having brought his spit-and-baling-wired Wright Model B down to recon and drop homemade bombs for Pancho. The plane got plugged by ground fire over Ojinaga and crashed, but Birdman Slim walked away pretty much unscathed from the wreck and beat it back up to El Paso to lick his wounds. Tallahassee Slim, after some legitimate accomplishments as a cavalry officer in the field, was appointed a major fund-raiser for Villa. He told me this simply, with an ironic shrug, not seeming to feel it was a violation of his insurrecto tradition. But after a stint in this capacity — mostly involving the railways and particularly those trains carrying government bullion or arms but not refusing the personal contributions of private citizens who happened to be on board — Tallahassee Slim had also come north to regroup himself and dally with some white women before heading south again. He and I traded war stories and I got around to complaining about Wilson, who I took to be a lily liver.

“Not exactly,” Tallahassee Slim said, leaning a little across the table and rustling the ammunition strapped to his chest. “At least a lily liver has a straightforward position. This guy isn’t one thing or another. You hear how the man talks? Teddy would put his pistol on the table and call it a pistol. Old Woody sneaks his out and calls it the Bible. He preaches about upholding civilized values, stabilizing governments, giving the Mexicans or the Filipinos or whoever a fine, peaceful, democratic life. Not to mention protecting American interests, which means the oilmen and the railroad men and so forth. And as for the locals, you simply try and persuade the bad old boys who happen to be running a country we’re interested in to retire to the countryside. Problem is, the cojones that got those fellas into power in the first place will never let them walk away. So when it comes down to it, Woody’s going to go to war. Over a chaw of tobacco, too, when it’s time. Mark my words.”

So we drank to Teddy Roosevelt, and I did mark those words. One thing I’d learned filling cable blanks from various tierras caliente for a few years already was to listen to anybody with live ammunition who called himself “Slim.”

And I also lifted my glass that first afternoon in Vera Cruz to Tallahassee Slim. A couple of times. I drank mezcal till it was too hot to stay upright and I decided to follow the example of those who actually lived with the infernal bluster of el Norte and I took a nap.