The Hunt

CHAPTER 14

Miranda stuffed the gun back into the waistband of her jeans and stared at Quinn. “What are you doing here?”

“I called your dad from the road and he had a room. I didn’t think we’d run into each other. I figured I’d maybe be here four, five hours sleeping.” He put his plate down on the table. Pecan pie. Her pecan pie.

“That had better not be the last piece of pie,” Miranda mumbled. Why had she said that? She’d meant to tell him to get the hell off her property.

He smiled, and Miranda blinked. She kept forgetting how good-looking Quinn really was. When she’d seen him the other day, she was so filled with rage and sadness and conflicting emotions she didn’t dwell on his appearance. But seeing him now, his lean, tanned chest bare, his muscles clearly defined even though he was at ease, the scar on his upper right shoulder from a gunshot wound early in his career-it brought back memories. Good memories. Of waking up with Quinn and kissing that hard chest. And his hands-he had the most incredible hands. Large hands, callused palms, with surprisingly elegant fingers. Very talented fingers…

She glanced down to where a narrow trail of dark blond hair disappeared beneath the waistband of his gray sweats. She quickly averted her gaze, already feeling flushed from the adrenaline released when she’d thought he was an intruder.

Having Quinn here, in her kitchen, without the security of work, jerked the rug out from under her. He’d invaded her town, her investigation, and now her home. She hadn’t thought about that day at Quantico-consciously-in years, and wham! The dam broke and she could think of nothing but.

She had no idea what he’d done in the last ten years. He could be married for all she knew. That thought disturbed her and she frowned. Brushing past him, she went to the cupboard where Gray kept his pies.

Sure enough, there was half a pecan pie sitting there, calling her name. She couldn’t help but smile.

She took her time cutting a slice, feeling Quinn’s eyes burrowing into her back. She really didn’t want to sit down and talk to him. Outside of the Lodge, in the woods, with Nick and the others around-that was one thing. But here, alone? No. It reminded her of their former intimacy. Reminded her how she once loved him. Reminded her of what could have been.

But she couldn’t keep her back to him forever. She put her pie on the table, then crossed over to the large, walk-in refrigerator and retrieved a gallon of milk. She set it on the table, along with two glasses. She poured one for herself and one for Quinn, then sat across from him.

“Thanks,” he said. His dark eyes were unreadable. What was he thinking? About her? About them?

She drank her milk, then dug into her pie. If her mouth was full she wouldn’t talk, wouldn’t say something stupid.

He continued to watch her.

She resisted the urge to squirm. During the past several years she’d regained control over her life, built a sense of relative peace. She had a job she loved, a job that did some good, even if she hadn’t been able to find Rebecca before she was killed.

She had a few good friends. Nick. She still kept in touch with Rowan and Olivia, though she hadn’t actually seen them in years. They e-mailed and talked on the phone, but for Miranda it was hard to get away. Impossible. She couldn’t just up and leave Montana when he was still out there.

She loved Rowan and Liv like sisters, but how could she abandon those who needed her? Particularly the dead. Rowan and Liv understood that-they might be the only people who did.

“I should have told you I was staying here,” Quinn said, breaking the silence.

She looked up from her pie. She noted he’d taken the bandage off his forehead. A thin, dark red scab remained, a reminder of his last assignment. She wanted to ask him about it, but didn’t. She didn’t want to care.

His firm, set jaw reminded her of his strength. He had been steadfast when she first met him. Resolved to find Sharon’s killer. She’d helped him because she needed to do something to find the bastard who hurt her and killed Sharon. And then she’d fallen in love.

It didn’t happen overnight. Time to heal, time to get beyond the pain-Quinn gave her everything she needed and more.

Then he ripped it all away.

“The techs preserved everything they could at the shack, and it’s headed out to Helena tomorrow. I decided to call Olivia and ask her to oversee the laboratory tests.”

“Liv? She’s coming here?”

“To Helena, if she can get away.” He grinned. “Sometimes, threatening to take over an investigation will light some fires. They’d much rather take care of the tests themselves, even with a Fed looking over their shoulder, than have everything shipped to Virginia.”

“Whatever it takes,” Miranda said, with little hope. Even Olivia, who loved her job and excelled at it, couldn’t find a clue where none existed. The climate and conditions destroyed any usable evidence.

“He’ll make a mistake,” Quinn said with confidence.

“Right.” She didn’t believe it.

“He might have already.”

Her heart beat faster. “Why do you think that?”

“Penny Thompson.”

“Why bring her up? Her murder was three years old when we found her body.” What remained of it.

“I’m pulling all the University files again. Remember Vigo, the FBI profiler? He insists the killer knew his first victim personally. We spent so much time twelve years ago investigating the associations of you and Sharon that by the time we learned Penny was the first victim, going back to her associations-then three years old-yielded us nothing. Her boyfriend, the guy the sheriff thought responsible for Penny’s disappearance, had an airtight alibi during Sharon’s murder.”

Quinn added, “We’re going to focus on the parts of Vigo’s profile that would help narrow the list even more after so many years have passed-that the killer would remain single, would now be over thirty-five, that he has a flexible job, is physically fit, and has family in the area, or still lives here. It’s worth a shot.”

“It’s a long shot,” she said, she became a little excited. There would be hundreds of records to pore through and investigate, hundreds of men who on the surface fit the profile. But time would have weeded out many potential suspects, those who’d married, who’d moved out of the country, whose jobs were high-profile and inflexible. If they could narrow the list they would be able to dig deeper into those potential suspects and, with any luck, come up with a handful to interview. Maybe even get a warrant to search a car or house, especially if one of the suspects didn’t have an alibi for the time of Rebecca’s murder.

Maybe there was hope that justice would win. Just a little. But she would hold tight to it.

“Right now, it’s all we have.” Quinn paused, then said in a low voice, “Miranda?”

She looked into his eyes, eyes that could melt her or anger her, eyes that reflected love or frustration.

It had been so long, she no longer knew how to read Quinn. He had changed. So had she.

His eyes were warm. The lids lowered almost imperceptibly. His face softened and he leaned forward just an inch. “You’ve lost weight,” he said, his voice low.

“I know.” She simply didn’t think about eating when she was out on a search.

“You’re still beautiful.”

Her breath caught. Was that her heart fluttering? How could he still affect her so profoundly? After all these years, he remained part of her. An important part. He’d helped make her who she was today, both the good and the bad. Without him, she didn’t know if she’d have been able to survive the darkest days, weeks, months after the attack. He’d been her rock, her salvation. Steady and sure, she’d fallen in love with him as much as for who he was as for what he did for her.

That he had such little faith in her after knowing her so intimately tore her up inside.

As if he’d read her mind, he asked softly, “Why didn’t you come back to Quantico?”

What could she say to that? She didn’t completely understand it herself. Except that his lack of faith and trust in her hurt more than the psychology test that said she had a problem with obsession.

“If I’m obsessive, a year wouldn’t change it,” she finally said.

“A year can make all the difference in the world.”

“It had been two years, Quinn.” Two years since her life was irrevocably linked with a killer.

He nodded, leaned back in his chair and fiddled with his fork. “I know.”

They stared at each other. Quinn looked as lost and confused as she felt.

“I’m sorry I hurt you,” he said suddenly.

She swallowed back tears. How could such a simple apology hit her so hard?

Because she knew it wasn’t just Quinn. She was obsessive. There was her intense focus on the search-she’d put everything in her life on hold while looking for Rebecca. Her friends and family took second place to her job, whether it was finding a missing woman abducted by the Butcher or a lost child who’d wandered away from his campground. Nothing mattered to her except the search.

She wanted to rescue someone. While she’d had success finding lost campers, any woman the Butcher got was as good as dead. She desperately longed for a happy ending, but everywhere she looked there was sorrow and pain. Maybe that was simply a reflection of her own guilt.

If her reaction at the cabin was any indication, she’d never fully recovered from the attack twelve years ago. She would always be claustrophobic in small rooms. Windowless rooms. That’s why she had skylights throughout her house and directly above her bed. She had to see the sky no matter which direction she looked.

But even the big sky couldn’t stop Sharon’s cries and the low, cruel monotone of the faceless killer every time Miranda closed her eyes.

“I should have returned to Quantico.” She had never said that out loud before. It surprised her. She licked her lips. “I was just so damn hu-” She was going to say hurt. No. She wasn’t ready to tell Quinn that. She couldn’t tell him. “Angry,” she corrected. “Blinded by anger, I suppose. And by the time the year was up, I was on Search and Rescue and I really liked it. I fit in. It’s-I suppose it’s what I’m cut out to do.”

“You would have made a damn good agent,” he said, his voice gravelly.

Her heart skipped a beat. She wondered what he would do if she kissed him.

The stray thought startled her and she leaned back, her hands clammy. A good agent? Yeah, she knew it. A damn good agent.

One year. A year! She’d waited more than two years after the Butcher killed Sharon, restless, taking extra classes, working at the Lodge, learning self-defense. Anything and everything so she’d never feel vulnerable again.

When she walked out of Quantico ten years ago, she’d never felt more lost. She knew then she would never go back.

“Thanks.” Her voice cracked. She wanted to yell at him, rage at the injustice of what he’d done-regardless of the reasons. Maybe there was a hint of truth in what he’d said, something she had done that indicated she might not be able to handle the job.

She focused on her pie and milk. Quinn did the same. The silence was both comfortable and awkward-she wanted to know what he was really thinking, but didn’t have the guts to ask. She wanted to tell him she’d never forgive him, yet she wanted to extend an olive branch at the same time. The conflicting emotions weighed heavily on her heart and mind.

She and Quinn rose from the table at the same time and brought their plates to the sink. She ran water over them, waiting for it to get hot. He stood behind her, so close his warm, pecan-scented breath caressed her neck. She swallowed, not trusting herself to turn around. Not trusting herself not to touch him, kiss him, ask him to share her bed.

She wanted him to hold her so she could sleep. To love him so she could remember what had been the most wonderful time of her life.

His hands rested on her shoulders, so lightly she didn’t flinch. She closed her eyes. He brushed her hair away from her neck, his long finger drawing a sizzling path from her ear to her throat. With his other hand, he turned her to face him.

When she opened her eyes, her mouth parted. He was so close, his naked chest inches from her. She felt the heat between them, as if he had his own thermostat. She swallowed, wanted to tell him to step back, but couldn’t find her voice.

She was glad she didn’t.

His lips touched hers so tenderly, if she hadn’t felt the jolt of desire flood her body, she’d have doubted he’d kissed her at all.

Then he kissed her again, more firmly, his hand moving from her shoulder to the back of her neck, kneading her muscles, holding her head to him. Deeper, his tongue gently parted her lips until their tongues lightly dueled, back and forth. She leaned into him, tentative at first, then found her arms wrapped around his neck, holding him close.

His kisses moved from her lips, down her jaw, to her neck. She shivered from the heat, from wanting him. A deep yearning that bespoke ten years without him. Without the man who knew exactly where to kiss, where to touch.

He softly kissed her behind her ear.

“I’ve missed you, Miranda.”

She drew in her breath. Had he really missed her? For ten years she’d had to consciously keep Quinn in the far corners of her heart and mind because she didn’t want to think about him, didn’t want to miss him.

But now the dam had broken, and her repressed feelings rushed through the floodgates. For ten years it had been so much easier to pretend Quinn hadn’t been such an important part of her life the short time she’d known him; now, it was like the time between hadn’t existed. She still loved him, still wanted him, but the raw ache that had festered since his declaration at Quantico stabbed at her heart.

She stepped back and bumped into the kitchen counter. “Quinn-I don’t know what I’m supposed to say to that.”

“Why did you avoid me back then?” He squeezed her shoulders, his eyes shining with the same heat and desire she felt.

She shook her head. She couldn’t have this conversation now, not when her emotions were so close to the surface. His affection confused her; it was much easier to remember his hardened stance against her graduation, his emphatic statements about her abilities when they first saw each other where Rebecca had died.

“I need to go.”

“Miranda, don’t walk away again. We need to talk.”

Shaking her head, she pulled away from his hold. She had to think, impossible to do around Quinn. Her blood seemed to boil and bubble beneath her skin, her stomach churned with confusion and heartache and love all mixed up. Nothing made sense to her. It had been so much easier to exist, to control her emotions, before Quinn walked back into her life.

She glanced at him, saw frustration cross his expression. She turned and ran back to her cabin, feeling like a coward but not knowing what else to do.

Quinn stared after Miranda’s retreating frame, his chest tight. He turned to the sink and noticed the running water. Had it been on the entire time? He slapped off the faucet.

What had just happened?

He thought at least she was opening up to him. She had softened her feelings toward him. That there was hope-

And that kiss. Time or distance made her taste even sweeter. He wanted more.

What was he thinking? That they could pick up where they’d left off? That he could tell her he still loved her and they could start talking marriage?

Quinn had never stopped loving Miranda. She irritated him, annoyed him, angered him, but he’d loved her almost from the beginning. He was proud of her, admired her intelligence, her strength, her perseverance. She was so beautiful. Seeing her sitting across from him eating pecan pie reminded him of ten years ago when he’d spent a two-week vacation here, at the Lodge. In her cabin. When they snuck into the kitchen to eat pecan pie and barely made it back to her cabin to make love.

He didn’t have time for long-term relationships; he’d been involved with a few women over the years, but only briefly. None of them could compare to Miranda. Some were prettier, some were smarter, but none were Miranda. Her spark. Her strength. Her.

What had she been thinking? Why couldn’t she just answer his question? He’d half expected her to jump down his throat, to yell at him about his decision at Quantico. He hadn’t expected to see so much raw, needy emotion in her fathomless eyes.

Damn, damn, damn! He wanted to follow her, to explain his reasons again about why he’d pulled her from the Academy. She’d focused on the psychiatrist’s opinion about her obsession with the Butcher, but that was only part of his reasoning. If it was only the shrink, Quinn would never have agreed to remove her from the program.

What Miranda had never understood, and he’d obviously failed to make her understand, was that her reasons for wanting to become an agent were all wrong. Working for the FBI wouldn’t give her what she thought it would, and he feared she would have been miserable.

Maybe he should have let her be miserable. But he loved her too much, and she was too loyal a person to quit when she realized she’d romanticized the role of an FBI agent.

Plain and simple, she’d wanted to be an FBI agent so she would have the authority to track down the Butcher. She’d never have been satisfied working in, say, Florida or Maine or California-unless the Butcher started hunting in one of those states. And she very well might have been assigned to the cyber squad, robberies, or political corruption-none of which would bring her any closer to facing down her demons.

He’d hoped that after a year off she’d come to realize that either she didn’t want to be an agent at all or that she could put the Butcher far enough behind her to work on whatever the Bureau assigned to her.

He’d wanted her to return. She would have been a top agent if only she could truly put the past behind her. But Miranda’s deep involvement with the Butcher investigation, from the moment she returned from Quantico, told him she’d made her decision long ago.

He closed his eyes, uncertain how to work through Miranda’s pain and anger toward him. For a few minutes, they’d almost reached that comfort level where he could have said anything, and she would have opened up. But they hadn’t gotten there, and he didn’t know if they ever would. As soon as he stepped too close, she put up an invisible barrier.

Sometimes, Quinn wanted to shake Miranda until she listened to what he said, to stop her from continually questioning his motives. But tonight he’d just wanted to take her to bed and hold her close.

Until she opened up and talked to him, as well as listened to what he had to say, there was no hope of mending his broken relationship with the only woman he’d ever loved.