The Hunt for Excalibur

13 Who’s Your Guinevere?

A knock at the door prompted Purdue to say goodbye to Nina. Charles went to open the tall double doors and announced that London Bridge Collectables had arrived with the goods Purdue had purchased.

“Excellent,” Purdue smiled. He slipped his phone into his pocket, feeling it vibrate as Nina’s photo messages came through. He made a mental note not to forget to look at them as soon as he had enjoyed the company of Ava Somerset.

Two men brought in the first armoire from China and took direction from Charles. She stood behind them on the steps, gawking at the black marble posts that hugged the massive old manor’s main entrance. Her silver hair looked alive in the smooth cold wind that lapped up against the stairs, playing with the corners of her coattails.

“Welcome to my abode, dear lady,” he hailed her.

“Oh my God, David, this place is amazing,” she said in astonishment. “I thought the gardens were extravagant, but this! Look at the detail on the architectural features.”

“That is just the outside. I think you will find the inside far more impressive, my dear,” he replied, taking her hand to lead her inside. The gorgeous woman could not stop staring at everything, enraptured by the beauty and grandeur of the historical old house. Like a child, she slowly twirled as she examined the motifs of the ceilings and the collections of original paintings adorning the small enclosures leading to other parts of the ground floor.

“You have a beautiful home, David. I swear, it would take me a week just to look at everything you have in here,” she raved in admiration. “There are myriads of pieces here that I have only seen in books or read about in old documents! It is unbelievable, truly!”

“Be careful or Mr. Purdue might think you are casing the joint,” a man from the group of movers said. He was not dressed in overalls, like the others, so Purdue presumed he was in charge. Ava slapped him on the arm.

“Shut it, you mongrel,” she laughed. With her hand in his, she turned to Purdue to introduce them. “David, this insensitive animal is my brother and business partner, Bernard.”

“My apologies,” Bernard told Purdue. “I have a dark sense of humor.”

“All in order,” Purdue answered jovially. “For a moment I feared that the lovely Ava was married. That would have been the true horror.”

The three laughed awkwardly under the gaze of the butler. Charles had learned from Purdue’s past mistakes and he often wished that Purdue would do the same. So many strangers came and went in this house, but most of them left marks, both on the house and on its master. Again, Purdue had fallen for a beautiful woman he knew nothing about and blindly bought new acquisitions just to appease her. At least the belongings were an investment and it usually stayed far longer than the women Purdue engaged.

‘Sometimes I wish Mr. Cleave would relinquish Dr. Gould and let David have her once and for all. She is the only woman worthy of his money, his time and his efforts. These gold diggers and opportunists make me sick,’ he pondered as he watched them use their senseless quips to forge trouble.

At last, the table Purdue had been waiting for came through the door.

‘Thank God!’ Purdue thought, eager to escape the queer conversation between the siblings and himself. “There it is! I was over-excited all day, waiting for my favorite piece to take its rightful place.”

“You know, it was hard to let that table go, but after so many years we felt we had to finally sell it,” Bernard noted, trailing Purdue with his hands in his pockets. Dressed all in black chinos and a stylish shirt, the antique dealer seemed very at home. His sister, on the other hand, used the time to fawn over the statues and paintings, ignoring the men.

“This was inspired by the Round Table of Arthurian legend, correct?” Purdue made sure.

“Yes. Oh, hang on,” Bernard said. He turned to find his sister and cried, “Ava! The provenances, please!”

She hurried to him and produced the certificates of origin and authenticity. “This is the provenance of the table, David,” she said as she handed it over to him for perusal. There was a number of previous owners noted, but Purdue was too excited about the actual table to care much about it now. All he sought with his eyes was the stamp that proved it to be genuine.

Bernard continued, “Did you know that they used to think this was the actual Round Table?”

“I heard that, yes,” Purdue answered.

“A little ludicrous, since it was never a historical fact that Arthur even existed. Even if he did, whatever king inspired his character did not possess a table circled by knights,” Bernard claimed. “Then again, most legends come from true, more raw happenings, so I am sure its age alone will make it special.”

“Well, it is truly sublime in its raw realness,” Purdue agreed. “I have always been partial to the less flamboyant relics in favor of, what is the word? Soul.”

“That is true. Most famous artifacts are not half as flashy as their legends make them to be,” Ava said. “Just like real gold. Most people think gold is deep amber and full of sheen when it is actually quite ugly in its simplicity. A pale yellow, dull clump.”

Purdue chuckled. “Well said, my dear.”

Bernard looked at the newly imported bar and cabinet to the far side of the hearth, looking impressed. “Good pieces, those. Not too imposing. As you said, raw and real.”

Purdue smiled contentedly. “Previously, this room was much more ‘Versailles’. Now I want it to denote ‘Glamis’, you see?”

“Perfectly executed!” Bernard smiled. “Accurate, except for our Round Table being a tad too raw for Glamis, hey?”

“Indeed,” Purdue chuckled. “But I love its appeal.”

The two siblings oversaw the placement of the antique table where Purdue wanted it. Charles took care of the other pieces. When they were done with all the arranging, Charles took his place at Purdue’s side. The two of them took a good hard look at the place to ascertain if there was anything amiss.

“Looks rather good, sir,” Charles chipped in.

Purdue nodded in satisfaction. The once lavish room resembled a cozy dining hall from a medieval movie. Thick faux bear- and wolf skin covered the wooden floor, reinforced by concrete beneath. In the corner by the window a suit of armor stood sentinel, reflecting the cast iron work of the burglar bars welded to stained glass windows.

The walk-in hearth had not been replaced, but the wooden panels had been replaced by cement and stone. This would prevent the likelihood of sparks or fire reaching flammable areas outside the fireplace, and it added to the castle-ambience of the room. In the other corner form the armor, the new bar had an equally rustic appeal. Purdue had specified to the Chinese antiques dealer that he wanted a three-part cabinet for his alcoholic stock. He had sent a picture of it to the manufacturers of the bar itself, to which they produced a replica of the design onto the newly fashioned bar.

The resulting work was amazing. Appearing to be from a set from the same era, the cabinet was, in fact, made in 458AD while the bar was still having paint dried in the year of our Lord, 2017. Against the paint-stripped walls, medieval torches provided the light, but Purdue was not ready to subject his cleaning staff to daily tortures of ash and soot. No, he had fitted flame lights in the bases to directly replicate torches of fire. There was no reason to increase the chance of another fire. Knowing how he and Sam Cleave usually partied, the idea was wise.

As was his wish, Purdue’s Round Table finished off the room beautifully. With its large circumference, it sat center below the immaculately carved ceiling with fifty locally manufactured chairs to match, circling it. “I cannot be happier with this acquisition. Really. Thank you to both of you,” Purdue smiled at Ava and Bernard, when he actually solely wished to exalt the silver-haired beauty. It was Ava, after all, who introduced him to the items of London Bridge Collectables, not her brother.

In the same breath, an idea came to mind. Purdue clapped his hands once, holding his palms together. “How would you two like to be the first guests at my table? What do you say? A drink before you depart?” Purdue invited cordially.

Ava was elated. Bernard looked unfazed. He had to keep up the image of someone who could not be surprised by anything in his fabricated worldly wisdom. Appearances were everything to him. Secretly, he was ecstatic to spend more time in the breathtaking halls of Wrichtishousis, in itself a mansion of legend.

“That would be fantastic!” she cooed. “What say you, Bern?”

Bernard shrugged and nodded. “Why not!” he smiled.

“Marvelous!” Purdue exclaimed.