The Killer Cat's Birthday Bash

9: Terrifying Beast

OKAY, OKAY. so feed me worms all week. The dogs got into the house.

How is that my fault? How was I supposed to know that when I sprang back like that, with my claws sticking out and my hair up on end, this giant shadow of me would appear on the wall.

I didn’t realize I would end up looking quite so fierce.

And huge.

And scary.

I didn’t know my shadow was going to frighten all those wussie dogs that much.

Nor was it my fault that they all ended up running around in circles, yelping and whining. Bella and Tiger only leaned against the gate by accident. They didn’t know it was going to swing shut, and trap the whole pack. (All except Miss Dog Agility, of course, who made it back over the fence and home to her stupid collection of fancy gold cups.) As soon as the rest of them saw that they were trapped, they slunk on their bellies round and round our garden – a pack of wimperoonies, all desperate for any way to escape from that Terrifying Beast that was so Fierce and Huge and obviously coming out of somewhere to get them.

Okay, so spank me. How was I supposed to know that one of those great lard-butted Labradors was going to back up so hard against our front door that it flew open.

In they all rushed, to get away from the monster.

The whole pack.

Straight into the party.

There was some angry shouting, a good few screams and the ugly thump of overturned furniture. We heard a lot of breaking glass, and then the party guests began to tumble out of the house into the garden, to get away from the demented dogs.

I looked at Tiger and Bella. Tiger and Bella looked at me.

I glanced up at the silhouette. I had become a giant pussy cat.

Now that was simply boring.

‘What do you reckon?’ I asked the others. ‘Party on, dudes?’

‘Why not?’ said Tiger. ‘Once you’re on a roll …’

‘Absolutely,’ agreed Bella. ‘Go for it, Tuff. Command Performance!’

So I went for it.