The Killer Cat's Birthday Bash

3: No dogs

‘RIGHT,’ BELLA SAID. ‘First we must decide on where we’re holding this birthday bash of yours.’

‘My house, of course,’ I told them.

‘It’s my birthday and my party, so we’ll have it at my house.’

Bella sighed. ‘Have you forgotten what day it’s going to be?’

‘No,’ I said, and couldn’t help turning sarcastic. ‘Unless I just happened to step out tonight without my brain, it’s on 31st October.’

‘That’s right,’ said Bella. ‘And that’s the night your family plans to hold a big Halloween party for everyone on the street.’

‘Really?’ I was astonished. ‘News to me.’ I turned to Tiger. ‘Did you know that?’

‘Sure I knew,’ Tiger told me. ‘This morning I was just sitting minding my own business on the front door mat when the invitation came through the letter box and fell on my head.’ He ran a paw over his fur. ‘I can still feel the lump.’

‘I knew too,’ Snowball told me. ‘My family have already fetched their dressing-up box down from the attic.’ She scowled. ‘And Tanya thought it would be amusing to put a bonnet on me.’

‘What did you do?’ asked Tiger.

‘Scratched her, of course,’ said Snowball. ‘Really hard. She won’t try that again.’

Everyone chuckled, except for me. I wasn’t in the mood.

‘I don’t believe it!’ I grumbled. ‘You live in a house for years. They feed you, try to cuddle you and make you think that you’re a member of the family. And then they send party invitations all round the town without even mentioning it in front of you!’

Bella could tell my feelings had been hurt. ‘Perhaps you simply weren’t around to hear them talking about it,’ she suggested soothingly.

I thought back over the week. It’s true I had spent most of every day out scaring squirrels. And every evening out with the gang. In fact, when I thought about it, I’d only stepped inside to see what sort of grub they’d put in my dish before deciding whether I’d rather stroll down to the fish shop and knock the lid off their waste bin.

But still, I felt a bit sore. If my own family had decided to hold a party, you would have thought they might choose to celebrate my birthday, not stupid Halloween.

No. I was miffed enough to take a stand.

‘Right, then,’ I said. ‘We’ll have my party somewhere else. How about round the recycling bins?’

‘Bit dangerous,’ warned Bella. ‘All those cars backing up in the dark to dump their papers and bottles.’

‘Under the scout hut?’

‘You’re joking,’ Tiger said. ‘It’s really hard to squeeze in through that hole, and then it’s freezing.’

So that settled it.

‘All right,’ I told them. ‘We’ll hold my birthday bash in the Fletchers’ barn.’

‘That means we’ll have to invite the horses too.’

Everyone groaned. Horses. Just think about them. Cloppy great feet. Giant black nostrils you could climb up inside and then get lost. Legs as knobbly as Granny’s furniture. Basically, a horse is just a huge pudgy barrel on great long matchstick legs, with feet like upturned teacups.

Party animals? I don’t think so! But you can’t hold a party in someone else’s home, and not invite them.

‘Okay, then. Horses it is.’

‘What about dogs?’ asked Bella.

We all turned to stare.

‘Dogs?’ Tiger said, and shuddered. (He’d only just got down from the last tree young Buster had chased him up.) ‘No. Absolutely not.’

Snowball is more of a softie. ‘Not even that harmless little thing from Laurel Way that looks like a tiny toilet brush on legs, and is so soppy it can’t even jump off a bed?’

‘No,’ Tiger said. ‘Not even that one. If any dogs are invited, I’m not coming.’

So that was settled, then. No dogs.