The Old Genie Hottabych

ABOARD THE “SWEET OMAR”

Had our friend the conductor on the Moscow-Odessa express miraculously found himself aboard the twin-masted “Sweet Omar,” he would not have been most amazed at the fact that he had suddenly found himself aboard a sailing vessel, nor that this vessel did not in any way resemble a usual sea or river craft. He would have been most amazed at finding that he was already acquainted with the passengers and crew.

The old man and his two young companions who had left Compartment 7 that morning were its passengers, while the four dark-skinned citizens whose term of service dated back to the 16th century B.C. were its crew.

One can well imagine that a second encounter would have landed the impressive conductor in bed for a long time.

Despite the fact that Volka and Zhenya had become accustomed to witnessing the most unexpected events during the past few days, they were most amazed to find their recent acquaintances aboard the ship and to discover that they were also excellent sailors.

After the boys had stood gazing at the quick and skilful movements of the small crew scurrying up and down the riggings just as if they were on a polished floor, they went to explore the rest of the ship. It was very beautiful, but small — no larger than a Moscow river launch. However, Hottabych assured them that even Sulayman, the Son of David, did not have a ship as big as the “Sweet Omar.”

Everything on the ship glittered with cleanliness and splendour. Its sides and high, carved bow and stern were inlaid with gold and ivory. The priceless rosewood deck was covered with rugs as magnificent as those which adorned the cabins.

That is why Volka was so surprised at suddenly coming upon a dark and filthy cubby-hole in the prow. In it were plank beds covered with rags.

As he looked in disgust at the meagre furnishings of this tiny room, Zhenya joined him. After careful scrutiny, Zhenya decided the unsightly hole was intended for the pirates they might capture on the way.

“Not at all,” Volka persisted. “This place was forgotten about after a complete overhauling. Sometimes, after repairs, there’s a forgotten corner full of rags and all kinds of rubbish.”

“What do you mean by ‘a complete overhauling’ when this ship didn’t even exist this morning?” Zhenya protested.

Volka had no answer to this question, and so the boys set off to find Hottabych, to ask him to help solve the mystery. But they found the old man asleep and thus did not speak to him until an hour or two later, at dinner time.

Tucking their feet under them uncomfortably, they sat down on a thick, brightly-coloured carpet. There were neither chairs nor tables in the cabin or anywhere else on board.

One of the crew remained above at the wheel, while the others brought in and placed before them many various dishes, fruits and beverages. When they turned to leave, the boys called to them:

“Why are you leaving?”

And Volka added politely, “Aren’t you going to have lunch?”

The servants only shook their heads in reply.

Hottabych was confused.

“I must not have been listening intently, O my young friends. For a moment, I thought you had invited these servants to join us at the table.”

“Sure we did,” Volka said. “Why, what’s wrong with that?”

“But they are only ordinary sailors,” Hottabych objected in a voice that indicated that the matter was now closed.

However, to his great surprise, the boys held their ground.

“All the more so, if they’re sailors. They’re not parasites, they’re real hard workers,” Volka said.

And Zhenya added:

“And let’s not forget that they seem to be Negroes and that means they are an oppressed nation. That’s why we should be especially considerate.”

“This seems to be a most unfortunate misunderstanding,” Hottabych said excitedly, confused by the solid opposition of the boys. “I must ask you again to remember that these are plain sailors. It is not becoming to us to sit down to eat with them. This would lower us both in their eyes and in our own.”

’ “It wouldn’t lower me at all,” Volka objected heatedly.

“Or me, either. On the contrary, it’ll be very interesting,” Zhenya said, looking at the steaming turkey with hungry eyes. “Hurry up and ask them to sit down, otherwise the turkey’ll get cold.”

“I don’t feel like eating, O my young friends. I’ll eat later on,” Hottabych said glumly and clapped loudly three times.

The sailors appeared immediately.

“These young gentlemen have kindly expressed the desire to partake of their meal together with you, my undeserving servants.”

“O great and mighty ruler!” the eldest of the sailors cried, falling to his knees before Hottabych and touching the precious carpet with his forehead. “We don’t feel like eating at all. We are very full. We are so full, that if we eat a single chicken leg our stomachs will burst and we will die in terrible agony.”

“They’re lying!” Volka whispered to Zhenya with conviction;

“I’m ready to bet anything that they’re lying. They wouldn’t mind eating, but they’re afraid of Hottabych.” Then he addressed the sailors. “You say you’re full, but won’t you please tell me when you’ve had time to eat?”

“Then know ye, O young and noble master, that we can go without food for a year or more and never feel hungry,” the sailor replied evasively.

“They’ll never agree, they’re afraid of him,” Zhenya said in disappointment.

The sailors backed out and were gone.

“To my great pleasure, I suddenly feel hungry again,” Hottabych said cheerfully. “Let us begin quickly.”

“No, Hottabych, you eat by yourself. We’re no company for you!” Zhenya muttered angrily and got up. “Come on, Volka!”

“Come on. Golly! You try to educate a person and change his ways, but nothing good comes of it…”

And so, the old man was left alone with the untouched dinner. He sat there with his legs tucked under him, as straight and stiff and solemn as an Eastern god. But the moment the boys disappeared behind the drapery that separated the cabin from the deck, he began to pound his head with his small fists that were nevertheless as hard as iron.

O woe to him, poor Hassan Abdurrakhman ibn Hottab! Something had gone wrong again! Yet, how happily the “Sweet Omar” had started on its journey! How sincerely delighted the boys had been with its adornments, its sparkling sails, the soft carpets in which their bare feet sank up to their ankles, the priceless handrails of ebony and ivory, the mighty masts covered with a mosaic of precious stones! Why had they suddenly conceived such a strange idea? But what if it wasn’t just an idea or a caprice, but something quite different? How queer these boys were to have refused such a feast, despite their hunger, and only because his servants were not allowed to share the meal as equals! Oh, how puzzling and unfair it was, and how hungry, how very hungry Hottabych was!

While his feeling of attachment for Volka and Zhenya was struggling with prejudices of thousands of years’ standing, our young travellers were discussing the situation heatedly. Hottabych’s servants tried to keep out of sight, but one of them, either absent-mindedly or from lack of caution, suddenly appeared from the very cubby-hole Volka had believed was intended for captive pirates. Then the dingy hole on the luxurious “Sweet Omar” was the sailors’ quarters!

“Oh, no!” Volka said indignantly. “We’ll never remain on such a ship. Either Hottabych changes the rules immediately, or else we call off our friendship and he gets us back home.”

Suddenly they heard Hottabych’s voice behind them.

“O sails of my heart,” the crafty old man said, as if nothing untoward had happened. “Why are you wasting your time here on deck, when a most delightful and filling dinner awaits you? The turkey is still steaming, but it can get cold, and then it certainly will taste worse. Let us hurry back to the cabin, for my beloved sailors and I, your faithful servant, are dying of hunger and thirst.”

The boys looked into the cabin they had just left and saw the sailors sitting primly on the rug, awaiting their return.

“All right,” Volka said dryly. “But we’re still going to have a long and serious talk with you, Hottabych. Meanwhile, let’s have our dinner.”

No sooner was dinner over, than the sea became turbulent;

the small ship now flew up on the crest of a huge wave, now plunged down into a deep chasm between two tremendous walls of water. The waves thundered and crashed as they washed over the deck and carried off the carpets that covered it. Streams of water kept rushing into the cabins. It became chilly, but the brazier with hot coals was tossed back and forth so violently that they had to throw it overboard to prevent a fire. The servant-sailors, whose only clothing were their loincloths, turned grey from the cold, as they battled the flapping sails.

In another half hour nothing but a sad memory would have remained of the “Sweet Omar.” However, the storm ceased as unexpectedly as it had begun. The sun peeped out. It became warm again. But everything became terribly calm. The sails hung limply on the masts and the ship began to rock softly on the water without moving forward an inch.

Hottabych decided that this was just the time to improve his shaky relations with his young companions. Rubbing his hands together merrily, he said, “Calm? Why you should know, O benevolent and just youths, that a calm means nothing to us. We can do fine without the wind. The ‘Sweet Omar’ will go forward faster than ever. May it be so!” He snapped the fingers of his left hand.

Instantly the “Sweet Omar” sped forward at top speed; the sails, meeting the resistance of the air, naturally filled out in a direction opposite to the ship’s movement.

In the entire history of sailing ships, no one had ever seen such a strange sight. However, neither Volka nor Zhenya, nor Hottabych, who at the time the ship started were all standing on the stern, had time to enjoy the sight, since the sudden forward thrust threw them overboard. The next moment the mainmast, unable to withstand the terrible resistance of the air, came crashing down on the very spot where the three travellers had been standing but a moment before.

The “Sweet Omar” disappeared from sight immediately.

“A life-boat, or even a life-saver would really come in handy now,” Volka thought as he splashed about in the water and blew air like a horse. “We can’t even see the shore.”

And true, no matter which way he looked, he could see nothing but the calm and endless sea.