The Woman who Went to Bed for a Year

37

On New Year’s Eve a stranger, a woman, called at the door and asked to speak to Eva.

Titania, whose turn it was to answer the door, asked, ‘Who may I say is calling?’

The woman said, ‘I live at the end of Redwood Road. I’d rather not give my name.

Titania invited the woman to wait in the hall while she went upstairs.

When Eva saw her, she said, ‘You’re wearing the awful apron Brian bought me for Christmas. What else have you commandeered?’

Titania laughed and said, ‘Only your husband.’

Eva observed, ‘That drab olive green suits you, though. You should wear more of it.’ Then she said, ‘Fetch her up.’

When Titania had gone downstairs, Eva combed her hair with her fingers and straightened the pillows.

The woman was in youthful middle age and had made the decision to let her hair grow au naturel. It was grey and wiry. She was wearing a grey tracksuit and grey Hi-Tec trainers. She looked like a pencil scribble on a white page.

Eva invited her to sit on the soup chair.

The woman announced, in well-spoken tones, ‘My name is Bella Harper. I walk past your window at least four times a day.’

Eva said, ‘Yes, I’ve seen you taking your kids to school.’

Bella pulled a handful of tissues out of her tracksuit pocket.

Eva braced herself for what was to come. She had developed a revulsion for tears. People cried too easily these days.

Bella said, ‘I need some advice about the best and kindest way to leave my husband. This Christmas has been torture. We’ve all been tormented by him. I feel as though my exposed nerves have been agitated by a cold wind. I’m not sure that I can cope with any more.’

Eva asked, ‘Why have you come to me?’

‘You’re always here. Sometimes I walk around the area in the small hours, and I often see you at the window, smoking.’

‘I’m a fool,’ said Eva. ‘You don’t want to take advice from me.’

‘I’ve got to share my story with somebody who I don’t know and doesn’t know me.’

Eva stifled a yawn and tried to look interested. In her experience, nothing good came from giving advice.

Bella twisted a tissue around her fingers.

Eva prompted, ‘OK, once upon a time… would that help?’

Bella said, ‘Yes, once upon a time there was a boy and a girl who lived in the same village. When they were both fifteen, they became engaged. Both of their families were very happy. One day, the boy lost his temper because the girl could not keep up with him when he went running. He shouted at the girl and frightened her. Then, just before the wedding, the boy and girl were in his car. She pulled the cigarette lighter from the dashboard, and accidentally dropped it on the carpet. The boy punched her on the right side of her face. Then he pulled her round to face him and punched her on the left. She lost two teeth and went to an emergency dentist. It took six weeks for the bruises to fade. But the wedding went ahead. It wasn’t long before the boy was hitting the girl whenever he lost his temper. Afterwards, he would beg me to forgive him. I should have left him before the children were born.’

Eva asked, ‘How many children?’

‘Two boys,’ replied Bella. ‘I became so frightened of him that I couldn’t relax when he was in the house. When he came home from work, the boys would go to their rooms and close the door.’ Bella was wringing her hands. ‘That’s the end of the story.’

Eva said, ‘You want to know what to do? How many strong men do you know?’

Bella said, ‘Oh no, I don’t condone violence.’

Eva repeated, ‘How many strong men do you know?’

Bella counted in her head. ‘Seven.’

‘You must phone these men, and ask them to come to your rescue. You’ll know when it’s time.’

Bella nodded.

What’s your husband’s name?’

‘Kenneth Harper.’

‘And for how much longer are you going to live with Kenneth Harper?’

Bella lowered her eyes and said, ‘I want to start the New Year without him.’ She looked at her watch and said, in a panic, ‘No! He’s in the pub, but he’s coming home for dinner at nine. It’s eight now and I haven’t peeled a potato! I’ll have to go. He won’t like it if his dinner’s late.’

Eva shouted over Bella’s panic, ‘Where are your children?’

‘At my mother’s,’ said Bella, who had jumped up and was pacing from the bed to the door.

‘Gather some men together, phone them now. Tell them to meet here.’

‘I don’t approve of vigilantism,’ said Bella.

‘It isn’t vigilantism, it’s your family and friends protecting you and your children. Imagine living in the house without him. Go on, close your eyes and imagine.’

Bella closed her eyes for so long that Eva thought she might be asleep.

Then Bella took out her phone and started to speed-dial.

When Brian came back from the off-licence with six bottles of cava, a slab of Carling Black Label, a box of rosé and two giant bags of mixed crisps for seeing in the New Year, he was astonished to find a group of men sitting on the stairs and leaning against the walls in the hallway.

He nodded and said, ‘I’m afraid you’re too early for our Open House, the house isn’t open yet.’

Their spokesman, a man in a padded plaid shirt and slurry-covered wellingtons, said, ‘My sister has asked us to help chuck her husband out of the house.’

Brian said, ‘On New Year’s Eve? Poor chap. Isn’t that a bit off?’

A younger man, whose fists were clenching and unclenching, said, ‘That bastard’s had it coming I wanted to tear his head off at the altar.’

A man with a weather-beaten face and DIY haircut said, ‘The kids are terrified of him. But she would never leave him ‘cause he threatened to top himself. I wish.’

An older man with tired eyes, who was sitting on the stairs, said, ‘When he asked if he could marry my daughter, I should have kicked him into the bloody silage pit.’ He looked at Brian, a man he assumed to be of a similar age to himself, and asked, ‘Have you got a daughter?’

Brian said, ‘I have, indeed. She’s seventeen.’

‘What would you do if you knew your daughter was being beaten up on a regular basis?’

Brian put the box of wine down on the floor, tugged his beard and thought.

Eventually, he said, ‘I would gag and bind him, put him in the boot of my car, drive him to a quarry of my acquaintance and attach him by means of nylon rope, using mariner’s knots, to a loose rock. I would then roll him and the rock over the edge of the quarry, and wait for the splash. Problem solved.’

A nervous-looking man said, ‘You can’t do that. Where would we be if we went round murdering everybody we didn’t like? We’d end up living in a cooler version of Mogadishu.’

Brian retorted, ‘This chap asked me what I’d do, and I told him. Anyway, I’ve got the Open House to organise. But if you need the sat nav coordinates for that quarry…’

The older man said, ‘Thank you, but I don’t think it’ll come to that. But if it does, we’ve got a silage pit round the back of the house, and pigs that are always hungry.’

‘Well, I wish you all the best. Have a happy New Year,’ said Brian. He barged past with the alcohol, went into the kitchen and began to unpack it on to the table. Titania was already polishing the glasses.

Brian said, ‘Every time I open my own front door, I’m presented with other people’s dramas.’

Upstairs, Bella was talking to her husband on the phone. He was shouting so loudly that Eva half expected the phone to explode. Bella’s voice was trembling. She was saying, ‘Kenneth, I’m with my family. We’re only up the road. We’re leaving for home now.’ She switched off the phone and said to Eva, ‘I can’t do it to him.’

Eva said, ‘They get away with it because they know we pity them. They play on their weakness. If you go now, he could be out of the house by ten.’

‘But where will he go?’ wailed Bella.

‘Is his mother alive?’ asked Eva.

Bella nodded and said, ‘She only lives five miles away, but he never goes to see her.’

‘Well, it will be a lovely New Year’s Eve surprise for her then, won’t it?’

Later, Eva watched from the window as the seven men and Bella talked on the pavement.

They walked purposefully down the road towards Bella’s house.