They Thought I Was Dead: Sandy’s Story

84 March 2012

Well, the three girls did disappear, but only after a showy magnum of Champagne bought by Stoker. Ingrid had to get back to relieve her babysitter. Cordelia, unbelievably, had swiped an app on her phone and was off to meet someone in a bar. Ulrike was the last to go, giving me a look that said: Let me drag you away from this disaster-in-waiting.

I had no idea what time it was, and I didn’t care.

‘You like gambling?’ Shambolic Hair — Stoker — Bram asked. His voice was American with a German accent. Or was it German with an American accent?

I gave him a slightly unfocused look and raised my glass to take a sip, only to discover it was empty. ‘Gambling?’

‘Uh-huh.’

Then I sort of remembered, he’d told us — all four of us — he was from California but, in his words, had kind of gone to Europe to kind of find himself and had kind of fetched up in the Schloss Leichtigkeit because some dude he’d met told him he would find enlightenment there.

But they’d kicked him out for doing drugs.

‘Gambling?’

‘Wanna come to a casino?’

I looked at him, at his impish grin and his mesmerizing eyes. And I realized, although I barely knew him, just how glad I was to see him again. The sense of a kindred spirit. Naughtiness. I sort of fancied him, and liked him too.

‘To gamble?’ I asked.

He nodded. ‘That’s kind of what you do in a casino.’

‘I haven’t — sort of — gambled — in a while — like I don’t sort of really do it. Not any more.’

‘It’s your birthday.’ He looked at me quizzically. ‘Birthday luck?’

‘I can’t really afford it.’

I might be drunk, but I wasn’t so drunk that I was about to fritter away all I had left in the world — already significantly reduced after having paid the bill.

‘We’ll just go play for pennies. Bit of fun, right? I’ll give you some and you can watch me. Yeah? I want you to enjoy yourself with no pressure. I will bankroll you for one thousand euros. If you lose it, c’est la vie; if you win, keep the winnings and let me have my thousand euros back. Do we have a deal?’

‘You’re joking, really?’

‘The truth, let’s go have some fun.’

I shot a glance at my watch. It was 12.15 a.m. I felt a flash of panic about Bruno. But then I remembered, lovely Maria had said she would put him to bed and stay in my room until I came back — and she had said not to worry. She would stay there all night if I needed. And she’d given me a broad wink.

No way was I going to need her to stay all night. But the mention of a casino fired something inside me I’d not felt since my fateful days at the Casino d’Azur. This could be a way of testing my resilience. I knew I could go to the casino now and not be sucked in. In and out, just playing around for fun. Then walk away. No problem. No loss. And if I won, well, that was a bonus.

Birthday luck?

‘Do they really have casinos in Frankfurt?’ I asked.

‘Do bears shit in the woods?’ he replied.