This Heart Of Mine

Chapter 22

Molly heard Kevin's quiet curse and fixed a smile on her face. "Hey, you guys. Escape the kiddies for a while?"

"They're playing flashlight tag on the Common." As Phoebe came down the steps, she took in Molly's rumpled dress.

Molly needed her wits about her, but the fact that she was still missing her underwear put her at a disadvantage. "I hope Andrew's going to be all right. You know how fast he disappears."

"Andrew's just fine," Dan said. "There's not much trouble he can get into around here."

"You have no idea," Kevin muttered.

Phoebe tilted her head toward the lane that led past the beach. Her oversize Stars sweatshirt and jeans didn't quite hide the power player beneath. "Mrs. Long volunteered to keep an eye on all of them. Let's take a walk."

Molly flexed her shoulders. "I think I'll pass. I've been up since five-thirty, so I'm a little tired." From making love three times today. "Maybe tomorrow."

Dan's voice rang with Southern steel. "It won't take long. And there are a couple of things we want to discuss."

"Your vacation is almost over. Why can't you just relax and enjoy the rest of it?"

"It's a little hard to relax when we're so worried about you," Phoebe replied.

"Well, stop worrying!"

"Calm down, Molly," Kevin said. "If they want to talk, I'm sure we can spare a few minutes."

What a suck-up. Or maybe he'd decided it was time to play a risky new game. She'd known from the beginning that he wasn't sneaking around because he was afraid of Dan and Phoebe. He was doing it because he loved taking chances. "You might have the time, but I don't."

Dan reached out for her arm just as he'd done since she was fifteen, but Kevin shot forward and blocked his way. She didn't know who was the more astonished, herself or Dan. Had Kevin interpreted the gesture as a threat?

Phoebe recognized the signs of antlers clashing, and she moved to her husband's side. The two of them exchanged one of their glances, and then Dan set off toward the lane. "Right now. Let's go."

The moment of reckoning was finally here, and there was no escaping it. Molly could imagine the questions they were going to ask. If only she could figure out how to answer them.

They headed silently past the beach and the last of the cottages, then along the edge of the woods. When they reached the split-rail fence that marked the end of the campground, Dan stopped. Kevin stepped slightly away from Molly and rested his hips against a post.

"You've been here for two weeks," Phoebe said as she let go of Dan's hand.

"Two weeks ago Wednesday," Kevin replied.

"The campground is beautiful. Our kids are having a wonderful time."

"It's nice having them here."

"They still can't believe you bought all those bikes."

"I enjoyed doing it."

Dan lost patience. "Phoebe and I want to know what your intentions are toward Molly."

"Dan!" Molly cried.

"It's all right," Kevin said.

"No it's not!" She glared at her brother-in-law. "And what kind of sexist Southern crap is that anyway? What about my intentions toward him?" She didn't exactly know what those intentions were beyond keeping the real world at bay by staying in Nightingale Woods for as long as she could, but she had to face Dan down.

"You were supposed to be getting an annulment," Phoebe said. "Instead you ran off together."

"We didn't run off," Molly replied.

"What else would you call it? And every time I try to talk to you about it, you dash away." She jammed her hands into the pockets of her jeans. "This is the fire alarm all over again, isn't it, Molly?"

"No!"

"What fire alarm?" Kevin asked.

"Never mind," Molly said hastily.

"No, I want to hear this."

Phoebe betrayed her. "When Molly was sixteen, she pulled the fire alarm at her high school. Unfortunately, she hadn't seen any sign of a fire."

Kevin regarded her curiously. "Did you have a good reason?"

She shook her head, feeling sixteen all over again.

"So why did you do it?"

"I'd rather not go into this now."

He tilted his head toward Dan. "You always talk as if she's perfect."

"She is!" Dan barked.

Molly smiled despite herself, then bit her lip. "It was an aberration. I was an insecure teenager testing Phoebe and Dan to make sure they'd stick by me no matter what I did."

Kevin's eyes took on a speculative gleam. "So did they evacuate the school?"

Molly nodded.

"How many fire trucks?"

"My God…" Phoebe muttered. "It was a serious offense."

"It's a Class Two felony," Molly said glumly, "so it got fairly nasty."

"I'll bet." Kevin turned back to the Calebows. "Fascinating as this is-and I'll admit it's pretty fascinating-I don't think that's what you want to talk about."

"This isn't a big deal!" Molly exclaimed. "Two weeks ago Kevin showed up at my place because I'd missed an appointment with the attorney. I hadn't been feeling well, and he decided some fresh air would do me good, so he brought me up here."

When Phoebe wanted to, she did sarcasm better than anyone. "You couldn't just take her for a walk?"

"Didn't think of it." Unlike Phoebe, Kevin wasn't going to tell Molly's secrets.

But Molly had to be truthful about this part. "I've been seriously depressed, but I didn't want you to know how bad it was. Kevin's a fairly dedicated do-gooder, even though he tries to fight it, and he told me if I didn't go with him, he'd drive me out to your place and dump me on the two of you. I didn't want you to see me like that."

Phoebe looked crestfallen. "We're your family! You shouldn't have felt that way."

"I'd already upset you enough. I'd been trying to pretend I was all right, but I just couldn't do it any longer."

"She wasn't all right," Kevin said. "But she's gotten better since she's been here."

"How long are you planning to stay?" Dan's expression was still suspicious.

"Not much longer," Kevin replied. "Another couple of days."

His words made Molly's chest hurt.

"Do you remember Eddie Dillard?" Kevin went on. "He used to play for the Bears."

"I remember him."

"He wants to buy the place, and he's driving up tomorrow to check it out."

Molly's stomach turned over. "You didn't tell me that!"

"Didn't I? I guess I was preoccupied."

Preoccupied having sex with her. But there'd been plenty of time between their erotic workouts for him to have mentioned this.

"We can leave right after that," he said. "I just talked to my business manager this afternoon, and he finally found someone in Chicago to take over for the rest of the summer, a married couple who've done this before."

He might as well have slapped her. He hadn't even told her he'd asked his business manager to look in Chicago. She felt more betrayed than when Phoebe had mentioned the fire alarm. He knew she'd hate this, so he'd neglected to mention it. There was no real communication between them, no common goal. Everything she didn't want to accept about their relationship was right there in front of her. They might share sex, but that was all.

Phoebe nudged a clump of chicory with her toe. "And then what happens?"

She couldn't stand hearing Kevin say it, so she said it for him. "Nothing happens. We file for a divorce and go our separate ways."

"A divorce?" Dan asked. "Not an annulment?"

"Grounds for an annulment are limited." Molly tried to sound impersonal, as if this had nothing to do with her. "You need to prove misrepresentation or duress. We can't, so we'll have to get a divorce."

Phoebe looked up from the chicory clump. "I have to ask…"

Molly knew right away what was coming and tried to think of a way to stop it.

"The two of you seem to get along…"

No, Phoebe. Please don't.

"Have you considered staying married?"

"No!" Molly jumped in before Kevin could respond. "Do you think I'm crazy? He's not my type."

Phoebe's eyebrows shot up, and Kevin looked annoyed. She didn't care. She was filled with an awful desire to hurt him. Except she couldn't do it. Phoebe was Kevin's boss, and his career meant everything to him.

"Kevin didn't have to bring me up here, but he did it anyway because he knew I needed help." She took a deep breath and reminded herself he'd forgiven her and that she owed him this. "He's been wonderful, extremely kind and sensitive, and I'd appreciate it if the two of you stopped being so suspicious of him."

"We aren't-"

"Yes you are. It's put him in a difficult position."

"Maybe he should have thought about that when he was dragging you into the woods on Sunday," Dan drawled. "Or was he too busy being kind and sensitive?"

Kevin got that tight look around his jaw again. "Exactly what are you trying to say, Dan?"

"I'm saying that if helping Molly was just a humanitarian gesture on your part, you shouldn't be sleeping with her."

"That's it!" Molly exclaimed. "You just crossed the line."

"It's not the first time, and I'm sure it won't be the last. Phoebe and I watch out for our family."

"Maybe you should watch out for somebody else in your family," Kevin said quietly. "Molly's asking you to respect her privacy."

"Is it her privacy you're worried about or your own?"

Antlers were clashing again, but Molly didn't care. "You keep forgetting that I'm not accountable to you any longer. As for my relationship with Kevin… In case you haven't noticed, we're not even sleeping under the same roof."

"And I wasn't born yesterday," Dan said stubbornly.

Molly could no longer hold back. "How about some simple courtesy, then? I've spent the past twelve years pretending I don't see the two of you grope each other, pretending I don't hear the two of you at night when you make-believe me-way too much noise. The fact is, Kevin and I are married at the moment. We'll be getting a divorce soon, but we don't have one yet, so whatever is or isn't going on between us isn't a topic for discussion. Do you understand me?"

Phoebe was looking increasingly upset. "Molly, you're not the kind of person who can take sex lightly. It needs to mean something."

"You're damn right it does!" Dan whirled on Kevin. "Did you forget that she just had a miscarriage?"

"Back off." Kevin's lips barely moved.

Dan saw he wasn't getting anywhere there and zeroed in on Molly. "He's a football player, and it's part of the mentality. He may not intend to, but he's using you."

Dan's words stung. He understood what it was to love a woman, so he recognized how shallow Kevin's feelings for her were.

Kevin shot forward. "I told you to back off."

Molly couldn't let this go on any longer, so instead of crying as she wanted to, she went on the attack herself. "Wrong. I'm using him. I lost a baby, my career's in the toilet, and I'm broke. Kevin's my distraction. He's my reward for twenty-seven years of being a good girl. Now, do you have any more questions?"

"Oh, Molly…" Phoebe chewed her bottom lip, and Dan looked even more upset.

Molly lifted her chin and glared at both of them. "I'll give him back when I'm done with him. Until then leave me alone."

She'd almost reached Lilies of the Field before Kevin caught up with her. "Molly!"

"Go away," she snapped.

"I'm your reward?"

"Only when you're naked. When you have your clothes on, you're a cross to bear."

"Stop being a wise-ass."

Everything was falling apart. Eddie Dillard was showing up tomorrow, and Kevin had found someone else to run the campground. Even worse, there was nothing that could make him care about her in the same way she cared about him.

He touched her arm. "You know they mean well. Don't let them get to you."

He didn't understand that they weren't the ones who were tearing her apart.

Lilly refused to look at the clock as she moved away from the window. The Calebows had finally managed to corner Kevin and Molly, but she couldn't imagine that the confrontation had been productive. Her son and his wife didn't seem to know what they wanted from their relationship, so she doubted they could explain it to her family.

Lilly had liked the Calebows immediately, and their presence these last five days had helped lift her heavy heart. They obviously loved Molly and, just as obviously, saw Kevin as a threat, but Lilly was beginning to suspect that Kevin was as big a danger to himself as he was to Molly.

Nine-thirty… She headed for the armchair in the corner where she'd left her quilting but picked up a magazine instead. She hadn't been able to work on her quilt since Sunday, when Liam had issued his ultimatum. And now it was Thursday.

Come to my house on Thursday evening… If you don't show up, I won't come looking for you.

She tried to build up some resentment against him, but it didn't work. She understood exactly why he'd done it, and she couldn't blame him. They were both too old to play games.

9:34… She thought about Kevin taking over the bedroom downstairs. She liked falling asleep knowing they were under the same roof. When they passed each other in the hallways, they smiled and made small talk. At one time that would have been more than she could have hoped for. Now, it wasn't enough.

9:35… She concentrated on flipping through her magazine, then gave up and paced the floor. What good were life lessons if you didn't pay attention to them?

At ten-thirty, she forced herself to get undressed and put on her nightgown. She got into bed and stared at the pages of a book she'd been enjoying only a week earlier. Now she couldn't remember anything about it. Liam, I miss you so… He was the most remarkable man she'd ever met, but Craig had been remarkable, too, and he'd made her miserable.

As she reached across the bed and turned off the light, her world had never seemed smaller or her bed lonelier.

Eddie Dillard was big, genial, and coarse, the kind of man who wore a gold chain, burped, scratched his crotch, carried a wad of bills held together with a big money clip, and said…

"You duh man, Kev. Isn't he, Larry? Isn't Kev here the man?"

Oh, yes, Larry agreed, Kev was definitely the man.

Dillard and his brother had shown up late that morning in a black SUV. Now they were sitting around the kitchen table eating salami sandwiches and belching beer while Eddie gloated over the prospect of owning his own fishing camp and Larry gloated over the prospect of running it for him. To Molly's dismay, they all seemed to regard it as a done deal.

This would be a place, Eddie said, where a man could put up his feet, relax, and get away from being "pussy-whipped by his wife." This last was uttered with a wink, clearly signaling (one man to the other) that no woman pussy-whipped Eddie Dillard.

Molly wanted to throw up. Instead, she jammed a tiny bar of French-milled soap into one of the bird's-nest baskets they used in the bathrooms to hold toiletries. She didn't know whom she disliked more, Eddie or his revolting brother Larry, who planned to live upstairs in the house while he ran the fishing camp.

She glanced over at Kevin, who was leaning against the wall sipping from a longneck. He didn't burp. When Eddie had arrived, Kevin had tried to get rid of her, but she wasn't going anyplace.

"So, Larry," Eddie said to his brother, "how much you figure it'll cost to paint these frou-frou cottages?"

Molly dropped one of the tiny, frosted-glass shampoo bottles. "The cottages were just painted. And they're beautiful."

Eddie seemed to have forgotten she was there. Larry laughed and shook his head. "No offense, Maggie, but it's gonna be a fishing camp, and guys don't like fruit colors. We'll just paint everything brown."

Eddie pointed at Larry with his longneck. "We're only painting the cottages in the middle, the ones around that whadyacallit?-that Common. I'm gonna tear down the rest of them. Too much upkeep."

Molly's heart stopped. Lilies of the Field wasn't on the Common. Her pink, blue, and yellow nursery cottage would be torn down. She abandoned the toiletry baskets. "You can't tear those cottages down! They're historic! They're-"

"The fishing's real good around here," Kevin cut in, shooting her a frown. "Large- and smallmouth bass, perch, bluegill. I heard a guy in town talk about a seven-pound pike he pulled out of the lake last week."

Eddie patted his stomach and belched. "I can't wait to get out on that boat."

"This lake is too small for what you want," Molly said desperately. "There's a strict limit to how big an outboard motor you can use. You can't even water-ski."

Kevin shot her a pointed look. "I don't think Eddie plans to cater to the water-skiing crowd."

"Nah. Just fishermen. Roll out of bed in the morning, give everybody a coffee thermos, a bag of doughnuts, and some beer, then send 'em out on the lake while the mist is still on the water. Come back after a coupla hours for brats and beer, take a nap, play some pool…"

"I think we should put the pool table out there." Larry pointed toward the front of the house. "Along with a big-screen TV. Once we tear down all the walls between the rooms, everything will be together-the pool table, TV, the bar, and the bait shop."

"Bait shop! You're putting a bait shop in this house!"

"Molly." Kevin's voice sounded a warning note, and Eddie tossed him a pitying look. Kevin narrowed his eyes at her. "Maybe you'd better go check on Amy."

Ignoring him, she zeroed in on Eddie. "People have been coming here for years. The campground needs to stay the way it is, and the bed-and-breakfast, too. The house is filled with antiques, and it's in wonderful condition. It even runs at a profit." Not much of one, but at least it paid for itself.

Eddie gave an open-mouthed laugh that revealed too much of his salami sandwich. He jabbed his brother. "Hey, Larry, you want to run a bread-and-breakfast?"

"Yeah, sure." Larry snorted and reached for his beer. "As long as I can have a pool table, satellite TV, and no women."

"Molly… out. Right now." Kevin jerked his head toward the door.

Eddie chuckled as the little woman was finally put in her place.

Molly clenched her teeth, then drew her lips into a stiff smile. "I'm leaving, darling. Just make sure you clean up after your friends. And last time you washed dishes, you splashed-so don't forget to wear your apron."

Now that was pussy-whipping!

After dinner Molly pleaded an upset stomach to the munchkins and told them they'd have to sleep in their own cottage. Since it was their last night here, she felt guilty, but she didn't have any choice. She changed into jeans, turned out the lights, and curled up in the chair by the open window. Then she waited.

She didn't worry about Kevin dropping in. He'd gone to town with the Dillards, where, if there was any justice, he'd get drunk and end up with a world-class hangover. Also they hadn't spoken all afternoon.

During tea she could see right away that he was angry with her, but she didn't care because she was angry right back. You duh man… You duh big dumb jerk! Selling the campground was bad enough, but selling it to somebody who intended to destroy it was unconscionable, and she'd never forgive herself if she didn't at least try to put a stop to it.

Lilies of the Field was too isolated for her to be able to see the men when they returned from town, but the campground was quiet enough that she knew she'd hear them. Sure enough, a little after one in the morning the sound of a car engine drifted through the window. As she straightened in the chair, she wished there weren't so many loopholes in her plan, but it was the best she had.

She pulled on her sneakers, grabbed the flashlight she'd swiped from the house, and left Roo behind so she could set to work. Forty-five minutes later she let herself inside Lamb of God, where Eddie and Larry were spending the night. She'd checked it out earlier, right after the men had left for town, to see which bedroom was Eddie's. Now it smelled like stale liquor.

Moving closer, she gazed down at the big, dumb, drunken lump under the covers. "Eddie?"

The lump didn't move.

"Eddie," she whispered again, hoping she didn't wake up Larry, too, since it would be easier dealing with only one of them. "Eddie, wake up."

Fumes came off him as he stirred. Someone this gross shouldn't be allowed in Nightingale Woods. "Yeah… yeah?" He wedged open his eyes. "Whatzu…"

"It's Molly," she whispered. "Kevin's estranged wife. I need to talk to you."

"Whadya… whatzabout?"

"About the fishing camp. It's very important."

He started to lever himself up, then fell back into the pillow.

"I wouldn't bother you if it weren't important. I'll just step outside while you put some clothes on. Oh, and you don't need to wake Larry."

"Do we hafta talk now?"

"I'm afraid so. Unless you want to make a terrible mistake." She hurried from the room, hoping he'd get up.

A few minutes later he stumbled out the front door. She put her fingers to her lips and gestured for him to follow. Sweeping her flashlight across the ground, she cut across the edge of the Common, then headed back toward Lilies of the Field. Before she got there, however, she turned into the woods and headed toward the lake.

The wind had picked up. She felt a storm brewing and hoped it didn't hit until she was done with this. He loomed next to her, a big, hulking shape.

"What's going on?"

"There's something you need to see."

"Couldn't I see it in the morning?"

"That'll be too late."

He swiped at a branch. "Shit. Does Kev know about this?"

"Kev doesn't want to know."

He stopped walking. "What do you mean by that?"

She kept her flashlight pointed at the ground. "I mean that he's not deliberately deceiving you. He's just ignored some things."

"Deceiving me? What the hell're you talking about?"

"I know you thought I was being silly today at lunch, but I was hoping you'd listen to me. Then we could have avoided this." She started walking again.

"Avoided what? You'd better tell me what's going on here, lady."

"I'll show you instead."

Eddie stumbled a few more times before they finally reached the water. The trees whipped in the wind, and she braced herself. "I hate being the one who has to show you this, but there's a… problem with the lake."

"What kind of problem?"

She slowly swept the flashlight beam along the edge of the water, just where it lapped the shore, until she found what she was looking for.

Dead fish floating in the water.

"What the hell…?"

She played the light over the silver bellies of the fish before turning the beam back onto the bank. "Eddie, I'm so sorry. I know you have your heart set on a fishing camp, but the fish in this lake are dying."

"Dying?"

"We have an environmental disaster going on. Toxins are leaking into the water from a secret underground chemical dump. It'll cost millions to fix the problem, and the town doesn't have the money. Since the local economy depends on tourists, there's a big cover-up going on, and no one will publicly admit there's a problem."

"Fuck." He grabbed the flashlight and shone it back on the floating fish. Then he snapped it off. "I can't believe Kev would do this to me!"

This was the most glaring loophole in her plan, and she tried to overcome it with dramatic presentation. "He's in denial, Eddie. Terrible, terrible denial. This was his childhood home, his last link with his parents, and he simply can't face the fact that the lake is dying, so he's convinced himself it isn't happening."

"How does he explain the damn dead fish!"

A very good question, and she gave it her best shot. "He stays away from the water. It's so sad. His denial is so deep that-" She gripped his arm and went into full Susan Lucci. "Oh, Eddie, I know it's not fair to ask you to do this, but do you think…? Could you just tell him you've changed your mind and not confront him about this? I swear he wasn't deliberately trying to deceive you, and it'll tear him apart if he thinks he's destroyed your friendship."

"Yeah, well, I'd say he has."

"He's not well, Eddie. It's a mental problem. As soon as we get back to Chicago, I'll make sure he gets psychotherapy."

"Shit." He sucked in his breath. "This is gonna blow the hell out of his passing game."

"I'll find a sports psychotherapist."

Eddie wasn't a complete fool, and he asked her about the underground dump. She expanded her story to include as many buzz words from Erin Brockovich as she could still remember and made up the rest. When she was done, she dug her fingernails into her palms and waited.

"You sure about all this?" he finally said.

"I wish I weren't."

He shuffled his feet and sighed. "Thanks, Maggie. I 'predate it. You're all right."

She slowly released the breath she'd been holding. "You, too, Eddie. You, too."

The storm hit just after Molly collapsed in bed, but she was so tired she barely heard it. It wasn't until the next morning when a series of thuds on the front steps awakened her that she forced open her eyes. She blinked and looked at her clock. It was after nine! She'd forgotten to set her alarm, and no one had awakened her. Who'd fixed breakfast?

"Molly!"

Uh-oh…

Roo scampered into the room, and then Kevin appeared looking like a gorgeous storm cloud. So much for hoping the loopholes in her plan wouldn't come back to haunt her. Eddie must have confronted Kevin after all, and now there was going to be hell to pay.

She sat up in bed. Maybe she could distract him. "Just let me brush my teeth, soldier boy, and then I'll take you to paradise."

"Molly…" His voice sounded a low warning note, the same note she'd heard on Nick at Nite when Desi confronted Lucy. Molly had some 'splainin' to do.

"I have to pee!" She jumped up, flew past him to the bathroom, and shut the door.

The flat of his hand smacked the panel. "Come out here!"

"In a minute. Did you want something?"

"Yeah, I want something, all right. I want an explanation!"

"Oh?" She squeezed her eyes shut and waited for the worst.

"I want you to explain why there's a frickin' tuna in my lake!"