In less than a minute, I made it up to Alexa's office using the stairs. I found Ellen standing in the outer office talking to the Detective Bureau Deputy Assistant Commander, Chuck Ward, who was holding a thick case folder. Both of them turned as I bolted through the door.
"Where's Alexa?" I blurted.
"Gone. I think she went down to the fifth floor to see you," Ellen said. "She left her review almost twenty minutes ago. Haven't seen her since then."
"I'll come back at a more convenient time." Chuck Ward turned and left quickly.
"What's going on?"
"Alexa's been replaced. Chuck's the new interim head of division now."
"Tony relieved her?"
Ellen looked sad, but tried to put a good face on it. "Listen, Shane. Maybe it's for the best. It's been a nightmare around here. I think she needs to work on getting better, first."
"You don't know where she went?"
"Home, I guess."
I left, got in my car, and blew out of the police garage. I tried her cell. Nothing. It went straight to voice mail. I tried our house-same thing. I made it home in forty minutes, which is excellent time, even for me.
Alexa wasn't there. I went outside and looked up the canal path, thinking that maybe she was walking around the neighborhood breathing in the ocean air and trying to calm herself down. I didn't see her.
I called her cell again, left a second urgent message, then got in the MDX and took off for USC. She might have gone there to see Chooch.
I arrived in record time, mostly by cheating and using my flashers and siren.
It was a little past five by the time I arrived at Howard Jones Field. I found Chooch in a receiver and quarterback meeting of fifteen guys in the east end zone. All of them had taken a knee and were gathered around a position coach at the center of the circle. I spoke to an assistant and had Chooch pulled out of the group. We found a spot on the sidelines where we could talk.
"Has Alexa tried to reach you?" I asked.
"I don't know. I don't think so."
"Where's your cell?"
"It's… it's in… What's going on?"
I told him that Alexa had failed her administration review and was being replaced as the head of the Detective Bureau. I told him how she came down and saved my ass in Cal's office by burying herself even deeper and admitting that she illegally suspended me before my Skelly hearing.
"Maybe that was her plan all along," Chooch suggested. "Maybe that's why she did it, so she could use that to help you later."
It didn't sound like Alexa to me. She was too much of a Girl Scout for that kind of blatant manipulation. Then I realized that I couldn't swear to that right now because I really didn't know her anymore. I had no idea what she would now regard as acceptable behavior.
"Chooch, if she calls I need to talk to her. I'm worried."
Chooch reached out and took my arm. "Dad, don't leave her."
"Where did that come from?"
"I know you're thinking about it. I know you."
"I'm not thinking about it." But of course, that wasn't true.
"I know who she is," Chooch said. "We both do. I don't believe God makes us one way, then changes who we are. I think a person's soul is given at birth. It's specific and unchangeable. Character isn't just about brain chemistry and neurotransmitters. That's not what determines who we are."
"Sometimes I don't even recognize her anymore," I admitted.
"I know it's hard, Dad. But you've got to give this some time- years even. If you can't do it for her, then hang on for me. Will you promise?"
I stood looking at my son and wondering how he'd gotten so strong and so spiritual. Did that come from Alexa, or did it get passed down it genetically from his birth mother?
"Okay," I finally said, softly. "I promise."
"Let's go check and see if she's called my cell," Chooch said.
He told the assistant coach that we had a personal emergency and that he'd be right back. We walked to the locker room where he pulled out his cell phone and checked it for messages.
"Three calls from her in the last hour," he said.
"Call her back."
Chooch dialed Alexa back but her phone went to voice mail.
"She's smart, Dad. She knows you'd come here. She obviously doesn't want to discuss this yet."
"Next time she calls, try and get her to talk with me."
"Okay."
I left Howard Jones Field and returned home. It was after seven when I got there. The first thing I did was check our home phone for messages again. There were three. One was from Secada asking me to call her. One was from Jeb Callaway-same message. The last one was from Alexa.
"Shane, it's me." Her voice sounded guarded. "Listen, I know you want to talk, but I need some time to myself right now. Don't chase after me. Don't make any demands. I'm in a place where I can think. I need to find out who I am and who I'm going to be. I love you, darling. Hang on and say a prayer for us."