CHAPTER 29

Poppy hadn’t known what to expect from Killian’s early morning visit. But she was fairly certain that announcement wasn’t it.

No response came to her boggled mind as she stared at his expectant face. All she could do was gape at him as if he’d sprouted horns and turned into one of the demons he’d described to her from his paranormal research.

He waited a few seconds, then realized she wasn’t going to speak.

So he continued, “I know that sounds kind of abrupt and crazy, but I really think it would benefit us both.”

Oh, she could well see the benefits. At least the physical ones. But … she just couldn’t wrap her mind around the fact that he’d even suggested such a thing.

“You see,” he started, and suddenly a moment of awareness reached into Poppy’s scrambled brains. She grabbed his wrist and tugged him inside the apartment. It wasn’t likely that any of her neighbors would venture by, but if they did, she didn’t really want them hearing Killian’s theories on why they should become lovers.

Call her old-fashioned.

She continued to tug him with her until they reached the living room. Then she dropped his arm like he was on fire. She moved across the room as if more space would help her think straight.

Killian watched her for a moment. Waiting again, she supposed, to see if she’d say anything, but really, still no words were coming to her. Well, none that she could string together into a comprehensible sentence.

“Poppy, I know this sounds crazy,” he said, taking a step toward her, then stopping, “but it’s clear we’re both very attracted to each other.”

Poppy realized her eyes must be the size of saucers. She was attracted to him. Absolutely. And she couldn’t deny a part of her was thrilled that he was saying he was attracted to her too. But the way he was approaching it was more like a business arrangement than a love affair.

“You see,” he continued, “we’ve both been too hurt from our past relationships to jump right into something committed again. In fact, I think that would be a disaster.”

She waited.

“But,” he said slowly, “I don’t think we can ignore our physical attraction. And maybe we could help each other gain some confidence again.”

By some miracle, she found her voice. “You didn’t seem particularly insecure last night.”

Killian actually smiled at that. Apparently he didn’t find this proposition strange at all.

“Believe me, you are the only one who has been able to make me react like that.”

Poppy’s heart fluttered at his admission. Was that true? He didn’t do things like that on a regular basis?

“I—I’ve never done something like that.”

Killian’s smile broadened, making him stunningly beautiful. His eyes glittered, filled with pleasure and what Poppy thought looked like possessiveness.

Her whole body reacted, skin tingling.

“So you can see, we have something special happening between us.” He closed the space between them, stopping inches from her.

“I don’t know if this is wise,” she said, even as she wanted to press herself against him and let him kiss her senseless. In fact, senseless sounded wonderful. No more thinking, just feeling. Just letting go.

But she managed to finish voicing her concern. “I still think there is the potential to really get hurt.”

He nodded. “I’ve thought about that too. But we have started this great friendship, so if we are just up front with each other, then things should be fine. We need to learn to trust again.”

She still didn’t answer. To her, this sounded like a recipe for disaster.

“I don’t think we’re going to be able to ignore the attraction here.” His eyes caught hers, holding them. Heat flared between them.

No, she couldn’t argue with that, but she just wasn’t sure.

“So what do you see as the final outcome?” she asked.

He shrugged, the muscles of his shoulders rippling under the cotton of his shirt. “We have fun, keep it light, learn how to be comfortable being ourselves and being with someone else.”

She studied him for a moment. His eyes were filled with sincerity and hopefulness. He really thought this idea could work.

“I don’t know,” she finally said. “I’ve never seen myself as a casual affair kind of girl.”

“No,” he agreed immediately. “But this isn’t exactly casual. We’re friends. We will remain friends no matter what. I’m suggesting … I don’t know, a relationship with training wheels.”

Poppy raised an eyebrow at that analogy. She was more inclined to see it as a relationship on a unicycle. On a tightrope. Someone was bound to fall hard.

And she was afraid it was going to be her.

She crossed her arms around herself, then moved to sit on the sofa. What did a person say to a proposition like this? Part of her wanted to say yes. Unequivocally yes. But another part of her, the rational part, the part not driven by her libido, knew she should absolutely say no.

The couch dipped as Killian joined her, his knee so close, it nearly brushed hers. Just the possibility of an innocuous touch like that and her body pulsed with longing.

Saying no would be so difficult. But saying yes could lead to much harder times ahead.

Even as she thought that, her head nodded as if the other part—the libido part—was answering without her consent.

Killian paused. Had she agreed? Even though he’d thrown the idea out there, he realized he hadn’t expected Poppy to agree. Of course, he wasn’t sure that slight nod was truly agreement, much as he wanted to see it that way.

“I—I just don’t see how.” She paused, clearly struggling with the idea. “I just don’t see how this works. I mean, I’m not comfortable with you just showing up to—hook up.”

That wasn’t how he’d imagined it either.

“I think we simply go on like we have been, except when it seems appropriate to both of us, then we …”

This sounded kind of weird now that he was saying it out loud.

“We …” How did he say this with any finesse?

“We fool around,” she supplied.

“Yes.”

Damn, what must she be thinking? About this suggestion? About him? That he was some weird lecher or something.

He sighed. Perhaps laying it out like this wasn’t the brilliant idea he’d thought it was while wandering the streets of Boston in the wee hours of the night.

Maybe he should have just let an affair happen on its own. Or not happen. Now he was back to not being so sure why he was here.

“Okay,” she said, standing.

He waited for her to ask him to leave. Or to tell him that it was the most offensive proposition she’d ever heard.

Instead, she walked toward the kitchen, pausing to ask, “Would you like a cup of coffee?”

Wait, the “okay” had been her answer. She’d agreed.

“Um, sure,” he said after a second. “That would be great.”

She nodded and disappeared into the kitchen, and he fell back against the couch cushions. She’d agreed. She’d agreed to an affair.

His cock leapt in his jeans as if in an attempt to give him a high five.

And he groaned. What was he doing?

Poppy took down a mug from the cupboard, then stopped, bracing her hands on the edge of the countertop. What was she doing? She felt like she’d just made a deal with the devil. An affair with Killian?

Could she really do that?

She snorted quietly to herself. Oh, she could do it. Last night proved that. But could she do what he was suggesting? Sex without attaching to him? Nothing more than friends?

She couldn’t deny that she had chemistry with him. And clearly he felt the chemistry too, or why else would he suggest the arrangement?

She pulled in a calming breath and reached for the coffee carafe. She refilled her mug and then poured his. As she stirred in her cream and sugar, she realized one thing. The fact they were going to have sex, or rather more sex, was kind of inevitable.

So maybe having an up-front, discussed agreement was better. She would go in with her eyes wide open and enjoy this for what it was. And maybe she needed to take a risk and do something a little wild.

See, there already was a change in her. A change that might let her open up to other opportunities in the future.

She picked up the mugs and carried them back to the living room. Killian lifted his head from the back of the sofa as she entered.

Lines pulled at the sides of his mouth. She hadn’t noticed them before, and she wondered if he was already regretting his suggestion.

Then he smiled when she held out the cup to him. His fingers brushed hers as he took the handle. Jolts like electricity snapped between them.

No, she decided, this wasn’t wrong. It was inevitable.

“So what’s the plan?” she asked, feeling nervous.

He took a sip of his coffee, looking the picture of calm, which seemed hardly fair, then said, “Well I know you need to work today. So I’m going to actually let you do that.”

She frowned. She did need to work, but this didn’t sound like the setup to a torrid affair to her.

“Then,” he continued, “you are going to get all dressed up.”

“Dressed up how?”

He smiled, the curl of his lips utterly naughty. “Are you expecting me to ask for a corset, stockings and high heels?”

She shrugged, offering him a look that stated she had no idea.

“Well, I’m definitely not opposed to that, but tonight, you are going to get dressed up in your best dress. The high heels are optional, because I know you hate them. For both outfits,” he added, his naughty smile widening.

She couldn’t help smiling back. “Thank you.”

“Then I’m going to come pick you up at six.”

She waited for him to continue, but instead he took another sip of his coffee. He set the mug down on the table and stood.

“Wait,” she said, when she realized he was planning to leave. “That’s it?”

He grinned, his golden eyes flickering with inner light. “Impatient, huh?”

Poppy blushed. Did she seem too desperate? She probably did.

Then he walked over to her, reaching to take the coffee cup from her hands. He placed it on the table, and turned back to her, taking her hands, his larger ones enveloping them. He pulled her to her feet.

Their eyes locked, and she could see desire flashing in his eyes’ depths. Heat filled her.

He leaned in and kissed her. His lips clung to hers. A sweet, lingering, wonderful kiss.

He pulled away slowly as if he didn’t really want to end the embrace, but he did, his gaze returning hers.

“I want to stay, but I’m going to leave. You work. I’ll—work. And we will have tonight.”

She nodded. Waiting did seem wise, even though her body thought it was the dumbest idea ever.

He kissed her again, this one a quick peck.

“See you at six.”

She nodded, still speechless.

He left the apartment, and she remained rooted to the spot.

Six. Part of her was eager and excited. And part of her was terrified.

This was going to be a long day.

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