CHAPTER 34

As they stepped into the loud, crowded bar, Killian again asked himself why he had turned down Poppy’s sweet shower offer. He could have made love to her, and then let them both fall into a deep, sated sleep. And avoided this outing altogether.

That way she’d be safe. And he wouldn’t have to meet the man she’d wasted so many years mourning.

But here they were.

Maybe he could seduce her and get her back to her place. Then he caught himself. His mission wasn’t about himself. It was about Poppy and her happiness.

But it was getting harder and harder to remember that. All he could think about was being with her himself. It was almost an—obsession.

Why did he want this mortal woman so much?

She shifted by his side, a hint of cinnamon reaching his nose like the warm spices of home. Her heat radiated over him like morning sunlight. Her face was ethereal, pure, lovely.

He paused. What was wrong with him? He was getting all—poetic, flowery—nauseating.

His gaze slid to her again. She looked beautiful—sweet and sexy all at the same time in a pair of jeans, a simple, fitted black top with a crocheted, bright pink scarf and black ballet flats. Her hair was loose around her shoulders, glossy and flyaway.

“You look amazing,” he found himself saying as if the thoughts just couldn’t stay contained in his head.

“Thank you.” She smiled, although he could see in her dark eyes that she was nervous.

Those nerves bothered him. They told him she still cared about this Adam guy. But the bigger question was why did he care that she cared? She was a project—why couldn’t he remember that?

She scanned the crowd, even rising up on her tiptoes to see the stage. Then she shrugged.

“I don’t see him.”

A feeling altogether too much like relief spread through his chest. He pushed the feeling aside and gestured to the bar. “Let’s get a drink.”

She nodded, still scanning the room.

He weaved his way through the crowd, a mixture of younger and older patrons. The area around the bar was packed, but he caught Poppy’s hand and edged his way through, need for a drink making him more determined.

“Well, he still draws in a big crowd,” Poppy said, as she squeezed through a group of thirty-something women.

Killian nodded, not pleased by that comment either.

He made it to the bar, waving to a bustling bartender who ignored him.

Wait on me now.

The bartender stopped in mid-order and walked over to Killian.

“Hey,” the patron the bartender been helping yelled down that bar at him.

Go away.

The man promptly left the bar, drinkless, rejoining his group of friends, who were none too happy that he returned empty-handed.

“What can I get you?” the bartender asked Killian, who looked at Poppy.

“Pinot noir, please.”

“A double of Glenfiddich.”

Not the year and the quality of the whisky he had at home, but tonight it would suffice.

Beside him, Poppy still searched the crowd.

Oh, yeah, it would do for tonight.

The bartender returned with the drinks, and Killian opened a tab. He took a long draught before handing the wine to Poppy.

“See him?”

She shook her head. “Maybe he didn’t end up playing here tonight after all.”

Could they be that lucky? He took another gulp of the scotch whisky.

Killian gritted his teeth more at his own stupidity than the burn of the liquor. Why was he being so ridiculous about this? He wasn’t seriously involved with this woman. They were hanging out and having sex. He had no ties to her, and it wasn’t as if he could have more with her anyway.

“You’re a fuckin’ demon,” he muttered to himself, but Poppy frowned at him, her dark eyes sparkling with curiosity.

“What did you say?”

But he was saved from having to answer as a man jostled into her. Both turned to apologize, but then neither said a word.

The man spoke first. “Poppy.”

“Adam,” Poppy said.

The man—Adam—hugged her then. Poppy remained stiff in his embrace for a second, then returned the hug, her arms going around his shoulders.

Killian watched, his jaw aching from how tightly he was clenching his teeth. He took a sip of his whisky, but even that didn’t stem his desire to gnash his teeth.

Finally they parted.

“Eric told me you might come,” Adam said, his gaze roaming over her, eating up the sight of her.

Poppy smiled, her eyes actually alight with some emotion that looked far too much like happiness for Killian’s taste.

“Yes. I was so surprised to see him.”

“I’m so surprised to see you,” Adam said, touching her arm. Then he gestured across the bar. “Come sit with us. Eric and his wife are over there. And a couple of my friends.”

“Okay.” Poppy started to follow him, then stopped, suddenly remembering Killian was there.

“Oh Adam, this is my fr—”

Before she could finish, Killian moved forward to extend his hand. “Fiancé. I’m Poppy’s fiancé. Killian.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Killian could see Poppy’s shocked expression, but he ignored her, offering Adam his most charming smile.

She’s mine.

Adam blinked, some of his joy at seeing Poppy evaporating. “Killian. Nice to meet you.”

Damn right, buddy, she’s mine.

Killian waited for his conscience to tell him he was behaving idiotically, but it didn’t.

“Over here,” Adam said as he led them to a less crowded part of the bar to the right of the stage.

When they reached the table, Eric greeted them too, then introduced them to his wife, Karen, and the two other women at the table, Nancy and Gina.

Killian noticed Poppy blanch, just a bit, as Gina was introduced. Adam pulled up chairs and the two of them joined the others.

“So Poppy”—Karen leaned to be heard over the buzz of the bar—“you went to college with Adam and Eric?”

Poppy nodded. “Yes.”

“We actually dated for what …” Adam looked at Poppy for the answer. Then at Killian a bit more warily.

“Almost three years,” Poppy said with a polite, social smile.

Killian took another sip of his drink. Hell, even he knew that. As he set down his drink, he noticed that Gina was watching Poppy through narrowed eyes. But when she realized Killian was watching her, she smiled. The animosity he’d seen there switched to something that looked remarkably like interest.

Killian looked away, to chat with the other woman, Nancy, a music teacher at a local high school. And also with Eric, who overall seemed like a pretty decent guy. Killian definitely liked him better now than the last time he’d met him.

“Well, Eric and I need to get back to work here,” Adam announced to the table, but Killian noticed his look lingered on Poppy.

The two men went to the stage and began tuning up. With Adam’s attention otherwise engaged, Killian had the liberty of studying the guy. And in truth, he found it hard to understand why Poppy had held a torch for him.

Adam was pretty much average. Average height, maybe 5′10″ or 5′11″. He had brown hair and similarly colored eyes. His build wasn’t particularly muscular, but not heavy.

He was pretty much like any guy anywhere.

But hadn’t he kind of thought the same thing about Poppy when he first met her? Killian glanced at her. She was chatting with Eric’s wife, her features animated, her charming dimple showing. She pushed her hair away from her face. He noticed the way her hand looked as she did so, and the flow and shimmer of her chestnut hair.

She was so far from average, he just couldn’t recall how he could have ever come to that conclusion.

Poppy stopped talking to the other woman as Adam began to play. Her eyes fastened on the man.

Did she see someone beyond average right now too? Then she looked at Killian and smiled. A happy smile. Her attention returned to the man on the stage.

Yeah, she did.

Did she see her soul mate?

Poppy had to admit this was the kind of night a scorned woman fantasized about. She was sitting at a table with her ex, with the woman her ex had left her for, and Poppy had a totally hunky, utterly charming new boyfriend. Strike that, fiancé.

Yeah, this was pretty sweet, and she didn’t really care if she was being petty.

Of course, as she watched Adam up on the stage, she couldn’t quite imagine why she’d let him affect her life for so long. He was a good-looking guy with thick hair and a nice smile. But somehow he seemed like a faded memory of the person she’d loved all those years ago.

She glanced at Killian. Of course, any man would seem pretty washed out when compared with Killian. Beautiful, golden Killian. Even now her body hummed with the recollection of all the amazing things the man beside her had done to her in the last twenty-four hours.

She took a sip of her wine, smiling that secret smile again. Then she noticed Gina watching her, a frown tugging at the woman’s full lips.

Poppy wanted to giggle at her annoyed expression. Poppy’s secret smile wasn’t a secret to Gina. And Gina was jealous.

Good, Poppy thought. She didn’t want Adam back from Gina, but she was glad the other woman was envious of her. That made up for the hurt Poppy had suffered, knowing Adam was in Gina’s bed. That while Poppy struggled alone, heartbroken, Gina and Adam had had each other.

“Darling,” she said, leaning against Killian as she spoke. “Would you mind getting me another wine?”

“Sure.”

She smiled, then kissed him. He seemed a little startled by the gesture, but quickly rallied, kissing her back, quite thoroughly.

“Can I get anyone else another drink?”

“I’ll take a dirty martini,” Gina said, smiling at Killian. The other two women declined.

After he left the table, Karen and Nancy let out appreciative sighs. Gina just shot her another resentful glare.

“Where on earth did you find him, Poppy?” Nancy watched Killian cross the room toward the bar. She shook her head, impressed at the sight.

“I met him through one of my sister’s friend’s parents. He is her cousin.”

“If only my sister’s friend’s parents had cousins like that,” Nancy said with a smile.

Poppy laughed.

“And you can just see he’s mad about you,” Karen said. “I can’t think of the last time Eric looked at me the way Killian looks at you.”

Poppy’s smile slipped just a bit. If only those looks were real. If only …

She shoved the thought aside. She was going to enjoy this for what it was.

“Killian would probably tell you that I had him falling at my feet the very first night we met.”

Karen and Nancy sighed again, and Gina looked as if she wanted to be ill.

Yes, tonight was pretty sweet.

Killian would like to say that he was enjoying the evening as much as Poppy seemed to be. She chatted with the other women. Well, not so much Gina. But something about Gina’s clear animosity toward her seemed almost to please Poppy.

Even though Poppy had never said anything about Adam’s leaving her and getting involved with another woman right away, he deduced Gina was that person.

And from the looks Gina kept throwing him, Killian got the impression she’d like to repeat history. He ignored her. Gina was not his type.

He’d definitely developed a rather strong attraction to petite, pixielike women with dark eyes and dimples.

“I’m going to find the restroom,” Poppy said, flashing that dimple temptingly at him. Her cheeks were flushed, and he could see the wine had gone to her head a bit.

“I’ll join you,” he whispered so the rest of the table couldn’t hear him. He felt safe with her near him. Vepar might be nuts, but he had enough sense not to approach Poppy with Killian at her side.

“You had your chance at bathroom sex earlier. As I recall you turned me down.”

“Stupid, stupid me.”

She laughed again, then stood, excusing herself.

He’d let her go, but follow. He didn’t want her to become aware that he was nervous about her being alone. That would lead to questions he couldn’t exactly answer.

After a few seconds, he excused himself to quickly make his way toward the restrooms. Then he leaned against the wall to wait. He’d give Poppy five minutes before he entered the ladies’ room—rules and politeness be damned.

“So,” a female voice said from close beside him, and he looked to see Gina standing very close indeed. She’d followed him, he had no doubt. “I heard Poppy telling Nancy that you are from Sweden.”

Killian stepped away from her, not liking the hungry look in her eyes.

“Yes, that’s right.”

She raised an impressed eyebrow. “That’s pretty exotic.”

He shrugged. “Not really.”

“It is to me,” she said with a laugh, touching his arm.

He looked down at her hand, then decided to just ignore her advance. “I’m going to have another drink. Can I get you anything? Another dirty martini?”

She considered, then said, “Actually, what I’d really like now is a screaming orgasm.”

Killian stared at her for a moment, stunned she’d said that. Of course, what mortal women did in bars really shouldn’t shock him anymore.

“So you and Poppy,” she said, clearly having no intention of continuing on to the restroom. “It’s hard for me to imagine.”

Killian frowned at the woman, disliking her more by the minute. “Why’s that?”

“Poppy was always such a little mouse. Timid. Quiet. And you seem like the type to want a bolder, more self-assured woman.”

He pretended to consider her words, then simply said, “Nope.”

Gina looked shocked by his casual rejection. She glanced around as if she intended to flounce away, but instead she leaned against the wall, making herself at home.

“Really?” she said, doubt in her catlike eyes.

“Really. I quite like my Poppy. Although she’s far from a timid mouse. She’s caring, sweet and funny. Very talented. And believe me, she’s bold and self-assured where it counts.”

“I’m self-assured where it counts too.” She laid a hand on his chest, fiddling with one of the buttons of his shirt. Then she stopped, her attention moving to a place just beyond his shoulder.

When he followed Gina’s gaze, he saw Poppy standing in the doorway of the ladies room. Her pale face was a sickly white, her eyes wide.

“Poppy,” Gina said as if pleased to see her. “Killian and I were just chatting.”

Poppy nodded, but didn’t say a word. She started toward them, her eyes looking anywhere but at Killian and Gina.

Killian fell into step beside her.

“That was nothing,” he assured her, and Poppy instantly nodded, flashing him a quick glance that didn’t hide her hurt or doubts.

“Oh, I know.” Her voice was airy, but he knew she didn’t feel as unconcerned as she sounded.

Poppy’s stomach clenched. It was like history repeating itself. Adam had said that very same thing about Gina all those years ago. That was nothing.

Poppy had found them flirting outside one of the bars where he’d played regularly. The two of them were standing close together. Gina touching his arm. His shoulder.

That was nothing.

Adam left her not a week later for Gina.

And now Gina wanted the man Poppy had now. But she didn’t even really have this man. Dread filled her.

“I forgot something in the restroom,” she told Killian, spinning on her heel, not waiting for his response. “I’ll meet you back at the table.”

“He’s not yours,” Poppy said to her reflection in the ladies’ room mirror as if saying it aloud would make her heart feel different. It didn’t work.

But they were only having a fling. He’d told her he was interested in settling down … but obviously not with her. She was only affair worthy. Whereas Gina could be just the type Killian wanted to really date.

God, she felt sick.

But she had to pull herself together. She had to remain cool. She’d known this was one risk of agreeing to this relationship.

And she couldn’t hide in here all night. She had to go back out there and act as if the interchange she’d seen between Killian and Gina didn’t matter. Didn’t shake her confidence. She wouldn’t give Gina that satisfaction again.

She braced herself, fixing her hair, applying more lip gloss. Then she opened the restroom door. She half-expected to see Killian waiting for her. Instead, Adam stood there.

Disappointment washed over her.

“Hello, Adam.”

Adam smiled, and she noticed his front teeth overlapped slightly. Had they always been like that?

“Poppy, it’s so great to see you. You look fantastic.”

She forced a smile. “Thanks, Adam.”

“You know, I’ve thought about you so much over the years,” Adam said, shifting closer to her.

“Have you?” She didn’t believe him.

“Yes. I often regretted how I handled things. I sort of panicked when your parents died. The idea of having a kid around, of essentially becoming a parent …”

Poppy didn’t say anything.

“I wanted to contact you. To see you again.”

“But you didn’t,” Poppy said.

“No, I was a chicken. I’m sorry.”

Poppy stared at this man in front of her. Adam. But not the Adam of her memories. She didn’t even know this guy.

“Poppy, seeing you tonight, I know I can’t lose you again.”

She gaped at him. Was he serious? Did he really think she’d take him back? After what he’d done? Leaving her when she’d needed him most?

“I’m sorry, but you lost me years ago.”

“It doesn’t have to be that way. I could make everything up to you. Poppy, you are so lovely. Seeing you, I just know I made a terrible mistake.”

Poppy almost wanted to laugh. She’d fantasized about this very thing. Adam standing in front of her, willing to leave Gina the way he’d left her. Begging her to take him back. Acknowledging he’d made bad choices.

“Poppy, I think I’ve always known you were my soul mate.”

Soul mate. The phrase hit Killian like a sucker punch to the gut. Adam was Poppy’s soul mate. Maybe his whole time here had been leading up to this moment.

Poppy would be reunited with the love of her life, and he’d go back to Hell. He waited for that idea to please him, but instead he still felt like he couldn’t breathe.

He watched as the two shadows merged. Coming together in a kiss. He watched, a sickening dread rising in his chest. He’d leave now. He knew it, without ever getting to tell Poppy what she meant to him.

Suddenly the smaller of the shadows jerked and the other shadow moved back.

“Adam! What are you doing?”

“I had to kiss you. I’ve been thinking about it from the moment I saw you.”

Poppy made a noise, a muffled whimper.

“Adam.”

“Poppy.”

Killian frowned, instantly sensing something was different. The sound of Adam’s voice. The energy in the air. Something wasn’t right.

Killian moved to peer around the corner. Adam held Poppy in his arms. Poppy didn’t struggle, but nor did she look pleased.

“Just tell me the truth,” Adam said in that voice that wasn’t quite right. “Do you love Killian O’Brien?”

There was no hesitation.

“Yes.” The one word, so certain, so true. “Yes. I love him.”

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