Vampire a Go-Go

THIRTY

Wake up, bitch.”

The girl on the couch blinked, rubbed her eyes, focused on the other girl standing over her, hands on hips. Penny was doing her best to sound simultaneously pissed and accusatory, with a hint of righteous indignation thrown in.

“What did you do with him?” Penny jabbed a finger at the witch. “And don’t mess with me. I’m a lot tougher than I look.”

Amy sat up, shook the cobwebs out of her head. “What?”

“Pay attention, blondie. Where’s Allen?”

Amy stifled a yawn. “Is there any coffee?”

“This isn’t fucking Denny’s. I asked what you did with Allen.”

It registered in Amy’s eyes what Penny was asking. She sat straight, suddenly alert. “Allen’s missing?”

“Duh.”

“What happened to him?”

“That’s what I’m asking you,” Penny said. “I let you guys sleep because you were wiped out, but I just looked in on him and he’s not there.”

Amy stood, went to the bedroom, and looked inside. “No signs of a struggle. Did he leave a note?”

Penny frowned. “Are you trying to say you didn’t have anything to do with his being gone?”

“Why would I still be sleeping on your couch if I’d called my people to come kidnap him?”

Penny shrugged. “Hey, I don’t pretend to understand your cloak-and-dagger bullshit.”

“You’re coming off a bit hostile.”

“Fuck you.”

“See? That’s what I mean.”

“Two years!” Penny held up two fingers. “Two damn years I’ve been working on that boy. I nursed him back from the edge after he broke up with that Goth whore Brenda. Two damn years invested, and you come along with your blond hair and suntan and tight little ass and get your hooks into him in twenty-four hours.”

“I do not know what you are talking about.”

“The hell you don’t.” Penny folded her hands under her chin and batted her eyelashes. “Oh, my. I’m just so tired. Let me climb into this tiny narrow bunk next to you with nothing but a towel on.”

Amy frowned. “Hey!”

“I’m not doing the soft sell anymore,” Penny said. “Allen’s mine, and that had better be crystal clear right now or somebody’s going to get hurt. And I don’t mean me.”

“Is that a threat? Are you actually threatening me? Do you know who I am, what I can do to you?”

Penny’s grin was pure wicked. “And you don’t know anything about me either, blondie. I can turn your day real bad real quick.”

Muscles tensed, both women looking like they might pounce at any second.

See, now this is where we should have a totally awesome catfight.

Have you ever seen two women go at it? I mean, two furious women with blood in their eyes, claws out, teeth bared? It’s pretty hot. Lots of long hair thrashing around and clothes getting ripped off.

If I were in charge of such things, it would be catfight time. But I have no such power to manipulate the universe. Alas, my role has been relegated to that of observer. And reporter. The cosmos has put me into this position for the sake of posterity. It doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy the occasional naked catfight. Not this time.

Instead, this happened:

Amy held up her hands, took a step back, and exhaled. “Whoa.

Hold on.”

Penny eyed her with suspicion.

“I’m not after Allen,” Amy said. “Not like that. Hey, I understand what it looked like. Sorry about that. But my only concern is keeping some very powerful magic out of the wrong hands. Nothing else.”

“That’s all Father Paul wants too,” Penny insisted. “And he said he wants to keep Allen from getting hurt.”

“Wait. Hold on. You talked to the priest.”

“Uh…” Penny bit her bottom lip, looked away.

Amy backed away, tensed, glanced at the doors and windows.

“Oh, my God. Are they coming here?”

“No!” Penny said quickly. “No, I… I didn’t think Allen would want me to do that. As a matter of fact, I went in to wake him up so I could talk him into seeing Father Paul. I wanted to convince Allen he could help.”

“Oh, yeah? Like your priest helped back at the safe house. With machine guns.”

“They were trying to rescue Allen because you kidnapped him.”

“This is getting us nowhere,” Amy said. “Did you mean it when you said you didn’t tell the priests Allen was here?”

“Yes.”

“I haven’t told my people either,” Amy said. “So let’s say we’re both being fair and honest. Who does that leave to help Allen?”

Penny narrowed her eyes at the witch. “What do you mean?”

“I mean he’s out there somewhere. If the Society didn’t snatch him, and if the priests didn’t take him, then where is he?”

Penny frowned. She was trying to think it through. “You think he left on his own.”

“I don’t know. Maybe he was trying to get away from me, or maybe he just didn’t want to put you in danger. But right now we’re the only people who can help him. Neither one of us wants to see him hurt. Let’s put our heads together and go find him.” Amy offered her hand. “How about it?”

Penny eyed the outstretched hand a little longer than was probably polite. She took it, and they shook.

“I’m going to need a cup of coffee,” Amy said.

“There’s a place down the street,” Penny told her. “Let’s move.”