Vampire a Go-Go

THREE

Allen came out of the first-floor bathroom, holding up a pair of Dr. Evergreen’s Portland Trailblazers sweatpants with one hand, his wine-stained clothes bunched in the other. He swam in an extra-extra-large Gothic State T-shirt, also Dr. Evergreen’s. It was like wearing a circus tent.

Dr. Forest Evergreen was lumberjack big, Paul Bunyan-ish, barrel-chested, chin the size of an engine block.

Allen went from the bathroom to the kitchen. All modern stainless steel and computerized appliances. His eyeballs ping-ponged back and forth. Tentative. Where to go next? “Dr. Evergreen?”

A voice from down the hall. “This way.”

Allen went down the hall, past closed doors toward the end, where a half-open door spilled dim light into the hallway. He paused again.

“Get in here.”

Allen started, went inside.

Dr. Evergreen’s study was the complete opposite of his modern kitchen. It felt old, ancient in fact, like some old wizard’s workroom from a bad Dungeons & Dragons movie. Very old, leather-bound books lined the shelves. Strange, arcane charts and graphs hung on the walls, and a large globe of the world during the Victorian Empire stood in one corner. Behind Ever-green’s desk hung a yellowing chart, a detailed schematic of the human skeleton. The desk itself was big enough to match Evergreen-darkly polished wood with the nicks and scratches of centuries. Evergreen sat at the desk, a tumbler of amber liquid in one meaty fist. The half-glasses perched at the end of his nose looked small compared to his massive pumpkin head, like they’d been ripped off a doll.

Evergreen hunched over the desk, reading from a brochure without looking up. “‘Imbued with old-world charm, this spacious apartment overlooks the fields and trees of Letna Park. Mere steps to the closest tram line, charming pubs, and a variety of restaurants.’” Evergreen looked over the glasses at Allen. “What do you think?”

“What is it?”

“An apartment in Prague.”

“Oh. Sounds good. I’m sure I won’t have a problem.”

“Not for you, pinhead. For me. I’ve arranged some dorm space for you.”

“Okay.”

“You’re not going to spill red wine all over the Czech Republic, are you?”

“I’m really sorry, Dr. Evergreen. I’m not usually that clumsy, and-”

Evergreen motioned to the chair across from him. “Sit.”

Allen sat.

“You know what I expect of you?”

“I think,” Allen said. “I spoke to Professor Carpenter.”

“Uh-huh. And what did ganja-head say?”

“That I’d be helping you with research. Something with Kafka.”

“Yeah, that’s the story, but I’ve got something a lot more important for you to work on. A real challenge for your research skills.”

“Oh?”

“I’m getting a grant from the university for the trip, so it has to be some lit thing. I’ve basically written it already. But frankly, I have more important things to work on. Are we clear?”

“No.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll fill you in later,” Evergreen said. “Stop looking like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like somebody pissed down your back. Don’t worry. It’ll be fine.”

“If you can give me some kind of idea what I’ll be researching, maybe I can get started right away,” Allen suggested. “Get a head start.”

“Save it for later. Think of it like a scavenger hunt. It’ll be fun. You’ll see.”