Waist Deep

36

When morning came, it was really afternoon.That’s what the small, cheap digital alarm clock next to my bed said, anyway.

I moved and then groaned.My head hurt, throbbing like someone was playing the bongo drums in time with a heavy bass guitar right in the front part of my skull.My torso ached where Leon and Grill had played kickball with me.Inside my mouth, my tongue was like a throw rug from inside a doghouse.

My stomach felt queasy.Then, the salty-bitter taste of pre-barf saliva filled my mouth.Queasiness gave way to all-out nausea.I rolled out of bed and staggered into the bathroom before I threw up what looked like an awfully expensive steak and some cheap macaroni and cheese.The heaves sent pain lancing through my mid-section, particularly where Grill’s front kick had drilled me.

Once all the food was out, I thought I would be done, but the dry heaves held on for several more trial runs.Nothing came up, just the clenching of my stomach and back muscles and the retching of my throat, followed by a brief respite.During those small breaks, I tried to spit the taste of puke out of my mouth, but it wasn’t going to be so easily dislodged.

Eventually, the heaving subsided. I flushed the toilet and leaned my head against the back of it.I muttered my thanks to whoever designed toilets, making the porcelain cool and comforting in a time of need.

I shut down all thought and sat resting my head against the cold porcelain until I felt ready to get up and face the day.

Once I rinsed my mouth and brushed my teeth, I was marginally better.I popped three aspirin and ate a piece of dry toast before getting into the shower and standing under the hot water until it ran out again.Once I was clean and in some clothes, I felt even more human, though the bongoandbass duet in my head gave no sign of subsiding.

The six empties stood on my counter, all in a neat row.The stale smell of beer made my stomach lurch, threatening to expel the toast I’d eaten earlier and the pain relievers with it.I forced myself to breathe through my mouth and swept the bottles into a plastic grocery bag.I slipped on my windbreaker, which was the warmest thing I owned at that moment and took the bottles with me when I left the apartment.

My first thought after throwing the bag into the dumpster was coffee.I should’ve made some in the apartment, but I’d been so intent on getting clean and losing my headache that it hadn’t even occurred to me.I debated heading over to the Rocket.Did I really want to see Cassie again in the shape I was in?Then I decided to go anyway and let things happen if they were going to happen.

I almost started walking over when I remembered I had Matt’s car.The Celica started right up and I drove to the Rocket.The lunch crowd was thinning out and a little twenty-something barista with a belly button ring took my order.There was no sign of Cassie.A small sadness wormed its way into my chest.

The coffee seemed to nudge the pain relievers along and my headache faded.I sat at a table in the corner, wishing I had brought my notes with me.I didn’t remember writing anything profound, but sometimes re-reading things helped spark the analytical process.Being a detective was never something I really got a chance to do. I guess the only the exception was a brief stint helping out detectives while I was on light duty after the Circle K shooting.Even then, I mostly did grunt work.

I closed my eyes and thought of everything that I knew and everything that had happened.The faces of all the people involved rolled past in my mind’s eye. I heard voices, murmuring echoes, but no epiphany came.I hadn’t accomplished much of anything yet and I had no idea where to go from here.

The coffee warmed my stomach and settled it down.I sipped it until the cup was empty, going around and around things in my head and ending up with the same dead ends every time.

I left the Rocket and walked to the payphone down the street.I got Adam’s voice mail, so I left him a message about getting a late lunch and hung up.

Back in the car, I glanced at the digital clock on the dash.School would be out soon.Maybe there was something I could do.