Whisper to Me

Chapter Twenty-six Rachel

We found a spot near the back of the lot, which was tough, because the lawn was already jam-packed. We spread out three blankets and the girls sank down on them while the guys went to stand in line for beer and wine. Jessie waved to someone she recognized a few blankets over and then strode away to chat with them.

“So awesome to see you, Rachel,” Ella said, patting me on the leg. “And to meet your best friend.”

Dakota smiled. “Yeah, took you long enough to introduce us.”

I shrugged, but my stomach was buzzing with anxiety. “It’s not like we all live in the same city or go to the same school.”

“Rachel only invited me to visit that one time, and the weekend I came up, she said you guys were busy.”

Well, shit, here we go. Did this topic have to come up so soon? We’d just sat down for fuck’s sake.

“Yeah?” Avery said, looking at me with a skeptical gleam in her eye. “When was that?”

I gave her the slightest nod of my head, hoping she’d get the hint that there was something I wanted to keep private. But I wasn’t sure if she noticed or not.

“Over last winter break,” Dakota said, and I dipped my head, pretending to straighten my corner of the blanket.

“Maybe we’d already headed home to our families,” Ella said, thinking it through.

The first band began their set, and I was glad for the distraction as people stood and began swaying to the noisy riffs of the music. Then some drunk dude tripped over the blanket in front of us, also providing a temporary respite.

“Anyway,” I said, hoping for a change of subject. “Still trying to wrap my brain around the fact that you got engaged, Avery.”

“I know,” she said, spreading her fingers to admire her ring. It was a round stone and looked dainty and vintage. “Can you believe that shit?”

“It’s so romantic,” Ella said dreamily, removing the cheese and crackers from our cooler. “You guys are so in love, it’s sick.”

“Us?” Avery said, her eyebrows rising to her hairline. “Have you taken a look at you and Quinn? You guys barely come up for air when you’re in the same room.”

“Shut up, dickhead.” Ella laughed and tossed a stray grape in Avery’s lap.

While Avery and Ella had a mini grape war, Dakota leaned over and whispered, “I really like your friends. I can see why you hang with them. Outside of the fact that you all have the same potty mouths.”

“I’m glad you do,” I said, smiling warily. I would have been much more relaxed if I hadn’t been keeping secrets from my best friend and college friends. Damn it, how did I allow myself to get into this situation?

“Tell us what’s happening with you,” Ella said, after offering some cheese and crackers on a paper plate. “And what about these hot boys you’re hanging with? Have you hooked up with either of them yet?”

I cringed, and Avery gave Ella’s knee a not-so-subtle nudge.

“What?” Ella asked innocently.

I tried to do damage control before the conversation got any spicier. “For starters, Kai is Dakota’s brother—I thought I’d told you guys that, but maybe you hadn’t put two and two together.”

Ella shook her head. “Guess it makes sense that he’s rooming with you guys. I didn’t remember, sorry.” That didn’t surprise me—I spoke more of Dakota than Kai, and even that was infrequent.

“No biggie,” I said. “And Shane is his best friend. So there’s nothing going on with this group.”

Dakota’s eyes became soft and her cheeks splotched red. “We grew up together, so we’re more like siblings.” She said this to the blanket, though, rather than meeting anybody’s eyes, mine especially. My friends probably thought she was embarrassed about the idea of kissing someone who was more like a brother, but I knew better.

“Yikes, my bad,” Ella said. “I could have sworn I saw something different, but maybe it was my imagination.”

“What do you mean?” Dakota said, her eyes darting around to other people’s blankets.

“Nothing.” Ella bit her lip. “I shouldn’t have said anything to begin with.”

“No, it’s cool. Was it about Shane?” Dakota looked over her shoulder conspiratorially to make sure the guys weren’t headed back over. “Shane has always kind of had a crush on me.”

I rolled my eyes at how Dakota had slanted it Shane’s way. As if the crush wasn’t reciprocated. Only I’d notice that distinction, however.

Frankly, I was surprised that Dakota was being so candid with people she’d just met. But it did seem as if she’d warmed up to them pretty quickly. Maybe because she’d noticed how easygoing my relationship with them was. Plus her cousin Nate was friends with them.

“I knew it,” said Ella, relief flooding her features that she hadn’t spoken out of turn.

“But no way would Shane want to cross Kai,” I said, adding to the explanation. “He is way too protective of the women in his life.”

“Well, that sucks,” Avery said, always one to speak frankly. “Even you, Rachel?”

“Oh God, yes,” Dakota blurted out, before I could come up with a safe response. “He was at that hospital every single day watching over her, making sure she was going to make it through her recovery. If Rachel has one protector in her life, it’s my brother, Kai.”

Panic rose in my gut to a crescendo. A hush had descended over the group as Ella and Avery became stiff and silent, and I stared at the ground. Well, here it was—all out there, without my being able to say it in my own way.

If I had been smart and not such a chicken shit, I would have called them before they drove all the way out here. And told them the whole truth. Maybe they would have decided not to make the trip after all, and then maybe we wouldn’t be sitting here now in this awkward situation.

“What in the hell just happened?” Dakota looked from one to the other. “Did I say something wrong?”

“We just . . .” Ella started, and our gazes collided. I shut my eyes against the truth she was about to betray. “I think we don’t know very much about Rachel yet. We love hanging out with her, but we haven’t heard a lot about her past.”

Dakota swung her gaze toward me. “You didn’t tell them about your accident . . . your rehab?”

I shook my head, remorse settling in my gut.

“Why not?” Avery said, concern etched in her features. “Did you not feel . . . comfortable enough, telling us?”

I hung my head in shame.

“But”—Ella shot Avery a look—“you know practically everything about us. So you know we’re not even close to being perfect. Did you think we’d expect you to be?”

“What in the hell is going on?” Dakota said, rising up on her knees, disappointment dripping from her voice. I felt like a scolded child.

“I just— Listen,” I said, running my fingers through my hair. “I wanted to go somewhere and not be known as the girl with the brain injury.”

“Brain injury?” Ella’s voice had pitched higher. “God, Rachel, I’m so sorry.”

Avery stared at me with something like awe in her eyes. Her gaze skated around my neck and shoulders and then up to my hair, as if picturing the damage.

“See, that’s exactly it,” I said, so quiet. I would have curled into a nearly invisible ball right then if I’d had the chance. “I didn’t want anyone’s pity.”