White Trash Damaged

2

I TOOK A DEEP breath and nodded. He tucked a strand of my dirty blond hair behind my ear and winked before turning around and opening the door. Two large men stepped inside and began grabbing boxes to carry out of the apartment. I picked up my small bag that I had packed for our trip.

“Come on.” He bent down, grabbing my bag from me and taking my hand to pull me toward the front door. We made our way down the flight of steps and out the door. Tucker’s bike was just off the sidewalk. He grabbed my helmet and held it out for me with a smile, revealing his dimples. There was no other place I wanted to be than wherever Tucker was. I watched him straddle his bike and kick back the kickstand. The bike roared to life underneath him as I flung my leg across it and wrapped my arms around Tucker’s waist. I had no idea where we were going, and I didn’t care. I took my bag from him and looped it over my shoulder. I rested my head against his back and closed my eyes, letting the sunshine beat down on my face as we made our way out of the city.

We weaved through the traffic on I-95 as the larger buildings faded into the distance until we were surrounded by trees. I realized that we were heading toward Eddington. We exited the highway and came to a stop sign. Tucker’s hands went to mine and rubbed them soothingly.

“I want to show you something,” he called over his shoulder. I nodded against his back as his muscles flexed and pulled as the bike turned down Maple Street. We flew by the roads leading to my old house. I relaxed a little more knowing I wouldn’t have to face the demons of my past. We slowed and turned onto an old dirt road lined by trees. As we came through a clearing, I realized where we were. Old Basin Cemetery. Tucker pulled off into the grass and shut off the motorcycle.

“Why are we here?” This wasn’t the place my mother and Jax had been buried. I didn’t know anyone who had been laid to rest here. I slid off the bike and pulled the helmet from my head, running my free hand through my hair. I looked out over the field that was dotted with headstones: some old, some new. Tucker got off the bike and grabbed my helmet from my hand before removing his. He slid the bag off my shoulder and hung it on the handlebars.

“I have a surprise for you.” He reached for my hand and I let him intertwine our fingers. He pulled me toward the small field, and I let my feet drag, wondering what he could possibly have in store for me.

We leisurely strolled to the back of the cemetery to a small tree with a tiny angel statue placed beside it. I looked up at Tucker with confusion. He let go of my hand and nodded toward the stone. He rubbed his palms together nervously as I stepped forward, tucking my hair behind my ears and bending down to read the inscription.

Another angel has taken flight

Cass Daniels & Tucker White

I reached out and ran my fingers over the cold stone, feeling the indents of each letter. Tucker knelt at my side, his hands fisted together in front of his mouth.

“How?” I could barely choke out the word.

“I thought it would be good to have a place to grieve. Somewhere without all of the bad memories.” His eyes misted over as he stared ahead at the stone.

It made it all seem so real. My hand fell to my stomach as I thought about that awful night.

“I’m sorry. I just thought . . .” he tried to explain. I reached over and gripped his forearm tightly.

“No, it’s perfect. Our child deserved a place in this world.” I nodded. He swallowed and looked down at the grass. The wind began to blow, whipping my hair in front of my face. Tucker turned to me and brushed it aside. His forehead fell against mine, and I closed my eyes, breathing in deeply and taking in his scent of freedom. “Thank you,” I whispered. He stood and held his hand down to me. I placed mine against his palm, and he effortlessly pulled me to my feet and into his arms.

“Whatever happens with us, we will get through it together. If it hurts you, it hurts me too, Cass.”

I nodded into his chest, unable to find the words to express how grateful I was that he fought so hard to be with me.

“Come on. We have memories to make.” He pulled back and shot me a wink that still had the power to make me blush. I grabbed his hand as we made the walk back to his bike. No matter how hard I tried to fight it, Tucker and I belonged together. Now we had our own angel looking over us. As we reached the bike, Tucker grabbed my helmet and slid it over my head, fastening the strap below my chin.

“We have a long ride ahead of us.” He gripped the waist of my sundress and pulled me closer, kissing me hard on the lips before taking a step back and slipping on his helmet. He got on his bike, and I followed suit, wrapping my arms around his waist and running my fingers along the ridges of his stomach muscles.

We drove out of the small cemetery and headed back onto the highway. I was thankful it was a warm day since I had decided to wear a dress today. Still, the wind made it chilly as we left Eddington and all of our horrible experiences behind us. I had no idea where we were going, and I didn’t really care. I watched the cars around us go by in a blur as we made our way to Interstate 75. We rode for hours, only stopping to refuel and stretch our legs.

Traffic began to pick up, and we slowed to a crawl as we made our way to Atlanta. I had never been there before and couldn’t wrap my head around the sheer amount of people that populated the city. Everyone had their own destination, and they were oblivious to the hordes of people around them.

Tucker took an exit off the highway and wove his way through the city streets. Everything seemed bigger than life. We pulled up to a stoplight, and Tucker glanced back over his shoulder at me, rubbing my hands that still gripped his waist.

“Hungry?”

“Absolutely,” I yelled over the sound of the engine.

He nodded and took off as the light changed to green. After a few more lights and several turns we pulled up at a restaurant that was tucked away at the base of a larger building. It looked like a hole in the wall. I got off the bike, stretching my legs in the most ladylike fashion manageable. I held out my helmet for Tucker and ran my hands through my hair a few times.

“You look beautiful.” His grin melted my heart, and I looped my fingers in his as I let him pull me into the small eatery.

I had to do a double take as we entered. The restaurant stretched far back into the building and was much larger than it appeared from outside. The walls were painted a deep gold with patches of gold leaf brushed right onto the walls. The lighting was so low it was nearly dark, with candles lit at each table. Artwork lined the walls, and I would have thought we were at a gallery had it not been for the tables. A woman in a crisp white button-down shirt and black slacks greeted us as we entered. We followed her toward the back of the room and passed a bar that lined the left wall. There was a set of steps that led down below the main level and held a larger dining area. I suddenly felt extremely underdressed for such a place.

“This is beautiful,” I whispered as Tucker looped his arm over my shoulders and pulled me into his side. He gave me a quick kiss on the top of my head. The hostess had stopped at a table and waited for us to take our seats. Tucker pulled out my chair, and I slid into it and waited for him to join me. Instead of sitting across from me, he chose the chair to my left and held my hand as we waited for the waitress to bring us our menus.

“This is . . . more than what I expected.” I felt so out of place. Luckily, we had arrived just after the dinner crowd, and being that it was a weekday, we pretty much had the restaurant to ourselves. There was one other couple on the far side of the room. They were older and dressed to the nines. I wondered if they were celebrating an anniversary or something.

Our waitress arrived with glasses of ice water and handed us our menus. She was beautiful. Her hair was more blond than mine, her eyes a sparkling light blue. I watched as she smiled, blushing slightly in Tucker’s direction. He smiled back politely, but gave my hand a gentle squeeze under the table.

“I’ll have a beer. Whatever you have is fine.”

She turned her attention to me.

“I’ll have whatever he is having,” I said, clearing my throat. These were the girls who worried me. The ones I could see on Tucker’s arm, winking at the paparazzi and looking glamorous while his star continued to rise. As the waitress left to grab our drinks, I glanced down at my sundress, tugging at the hem. I wished I had changed into something a bit . . . classier before the trip.

“You look amazing.”

I felt my cheeks flush under his gaze. He made me feel like I truly did look amazing. There was an honesty in his voice that I had never heard from anyone else before. I reached for my glass of water and took a small sip.

“Thank you.”

His thumb brushed over the back of my hand as I flipped open my menu and tried to concentrate on finding something to eat. The confusion I felt as I was trying to decipher the Italian menu must have shown on my face because Tucker laughed at me and flipped my menu closed.

“I have no idea what any of it means either. Let’s just order a bunch of appetizers. One of them is bound to be good.”

I smiled back at him and nodded. I had a tendency to get overwhelmed. Tucker took everything in stride. I admired that about him.

“So . . . where are we headed?” I asked excitedly. This was the farthest away from home that I had been.

“We have a concert in a few hours at Philips Arena. It’s kind of a big show. We are headlining for a new band. Probably the biggest concert we have had yet.” He grinned and for once he looked nervous. I gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.

“Shouldn’t you be rehearsing?” I felt guilty that once again his band was sitting around waiting for him because of me.

“They understand. Trust me. It was Terry’s idea for me to come find you.”

I thought back to the Twisted Twins. Neither gave off the “love conquers all” vibe. In fact, had they not defended my honor when I worked at the diner, I would have been frightened of them.

The waitress returned with two Budweiser bottles and glasses. Tucker waved the glasses away and picked up his bottle, taking a long swig.

“They may be okay with it now, but how much longer are they going to be okay having to change their schedules to accommodate me?” I grabbed my bottle and took a small sip.

“You’re not planning on leaving me again, are you?” He cocked his eyebrow up as his eyes scanned my face.

“Of course not.”

“Then there’s nothing to worry about.” He shrugged and took another sip. The waitress returned from disposing of the unused glasses. She held a pen and pad in her hands, waiting to take our order.

“Have you decided?” she asked, her eyes flicking to me but then resting intently on Tucker.

“We’d like one of each of your apps.” He smiled, grabbing my menu and placing it on top of his and holding them out for her to take. I did not miss the fact that she went out of her way to touch his hand with her fingers as she grabbed the menus from his hand.

He gave me a small grin, noting my jealousy.

“So . . .” He cleared his throat and took another drink. “What have you been up to while I was on the first leg of the tour?”

I picked at the label of my beer.

“Working mostly. But hey, I saw that you will be doing an awards show soon? That’s actually really exciting!” I wanted to add that I had heard about the actress he had been linked to and was dying for him to tell me that there was no truth to the rumors, but I knew I couldn’t ask . . . and I knew he wouldn’t bring it up. After all, I had been the one who left him, and he had no obligation to be faithful to an absentee girlfriend. Although it’s not like he had any reason to worry about what I’d been up to. I couldn’t look at another man after being with Tucker. He had ruined me for anyone in the future.

“What about you?”

He took another long pull from the bottle, emptying it. He sat it on the edge of the table and nodded toward the waitress who quickly came and cleared it as she went off to fetch him another beer. I watched her leave, wondering if I could handle what he was going to say. Tucker had been nothing but kind to me, always honest and faithful and passionate when we were together, but I would be lying to myself if I said I knew him inside and out. Even today, I had seen new sides to him that I hadn’t known existed. I didn’t know if those sides had grown from what we had been through together, or if they had been there all along, bubbling under the surface.

“I spent most of my time writing, practicing with the guys. They would drag me out whenever they could, trying to get me to cheer up.”

Those words sat on my chest like a ton of bricks. As I watched the waitress return with Tucker’s drink, she smiled, and he returned it politely. I took a deep breath. I had to stop letting jealousy get the best of me. Tucker and I were together now, and that was what mattered. I needed to erase those months of separation from my mind and focus on our future—we both deserved, and clearly needed, a clean slate. And there was no place for jealousy in our future together. Easier said than done when you’re dating a rock star.