World's End

Page 37

He shook his head, leaning against the ancient mantelpiece below the picturescreen. "What, indeed. A

weakling and a parasite, left in control of our holdings when I'm gone." His hand clenched. "Thy mother has no interest in her responsibilities here. And without thee to oversee--"

"They won't listen to me when . . . when HK is head of family. It's better if I leave, better for the family."

He sighed. "If only SB had gone in thy place; as he should have, years ago. If only he had been born with thy sense of honor, or HK with thy intelligence. . . ." He looked up at me. "Or if thou had been born first." His eyes held mine, searching.

I took a deep breath, suddenly finding the courage to say what I had never dared to say before.

"Father, I

know the wisdom of the laws. They were intended to keep society in the control of the ones most capable of running it well. But... but here in our family, they don't

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WORLD S END

. . . they don't seem ..." I went on in a rush, "By our sainted ancestors, Father, can't thou disinherit them? It would be justice--"

"Enough!" He pushed away from the mantel, rigid with anger. "You've said enough! It's not in my hands.

You will not mention it again."

You. Not thou. It stung like a slap. "Forgive me, Father."

I bowed, whispering, "I had no right." I kept my burning face averted. "May I have . . . your permission to leave you?"

"No."

I started as I felt his hands on my shoulders. I looked up into his dark eyes as clear as garnets. He had been an old man when I was born, but now for the first time in

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my life I saw that he was old.

"Thou are all I have that makes me proud," he said, and he hugged me, for the first time since my childhood.

I was so surprised that I almost pulled away. "I would give up my life for thee, gladly ... but I cannot go against the laws." And yet his eyes implored me to understand something more--something that was beyond his power, but not beyond mine.