World's End

Page 94

"You haven't got any choice," I said. "Unless you want to stay here with Ang." I bent my head toward the cliff-edge.

Spadrin's face turned the color of ash. I watched him realize what he'd do in my place.

I nodded. "If you want to survive, you bastard, it'll be on my terms."

"Gedda," he whined, "listen, don't be a fool. We can work a deal, we can still be rich! We'll go back, there are other ways to--"

"Shut up," I said. I nudged him with the gun. "Get inside."

He obeyed.

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118

D don't understand it. I don't understand it. We've been traveling toward Fire Lake for days, but it never gets any closer. It's the terrain; it must be the terrain.

We have to detour and backtrack, we tie our trail in knots. I don't know what I'm doing with this damned thing, or how much longer it can hold together now.

Ang's ghost haunts it. The stale smell of his fesh sticks hangs in the air, like an obsession. . . .

I was a fool not to leave Spadrin behind. He's like a time bomb, just waiting for the right moment. If I had his guts I'd have killed him. . . . No, no, damn it! I'm an officer of the law, not an animal.

I lock myself into the cab with the controls at night, so I can sleep. I have to watch him constantly. He pretends to servility, but I can see the hatred in his eyes.

He won't stop me. I swear to you. I swear it. Nothing will stop me, I've come too far. I know now that this was meant to be. Why else would everything have happened

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the way it has? Why else do I see Fire Lake on the horizon now? My body aches for you, you torture my dreams. . . . Before, I was lost and I found you. Our time will come again, and this time it will never end.

119

Today it rained. It rained black mud. Things like worms smeared the windshield. Spadrin got hysterical and I had to knock him out. I made him go outside and scrape off the dome after it stopped raining.

We're still no closer.