Criminal Mischief

7

She waited until he was in the middle of breakfast to call.

Stone picked up the phone. “Not until after breakfast,” he said, then hung up and finished breakfast.

She rang again.

“I’m not even dressed yet,” he said.

“I don’t care. I need to know what to do.”

“I included instructions about that in my letter. They still apply.”

“What is the SEC going to do for me?”

“Put you on a list — a longer list than it would have been yesterday — and if they ever convict Zanian and get some of the money back, you’ll get some of it.”

“How long will that take?”

“A year or two, depending on how long it takes to catch Zanian and how much money he has left.”

“Isn’t that hopeless?”

“Maybe not. Would you rather have a third of your money back or none at all?”

“What kind of choice is that?”

“One where you have some money and another where you have none.”

“You’re laughing at me, aren’t you?”

“I won’t entertain that question. Anything else?”

“No.”

“Then you’d better start communicating with the SEC.”

“Will you do that for me?”

“You can’t afford my services. Do it yourself.”

She hung up more quietly this time. Stone got into a shower.

Back at his desk, Joan buzzed him. “Dino on one.”

Stone pressed the button. “Yo.”

“What does that mean?”

“Nobody knows. It doesn’t mean yes; it doesn’t mean no.”

“I suppose you’ve heard from Miss Tink this morning.”

“Yes.”

“Is she any better?”

“I think she has finally grasped the reality of her situation, and that’s probably something new for her.”

“I guess that means she really was conned. Did you see the CNN shots this morning of Zanian getting off a Gulfstream in Rio?”

“I missed that. Did he steal enough to buy a Gulfstream?”

“The little one, which isn’t so little.”

“Anything on how much he walked away with?”

“There was less than half a million in his New York bank account, which means he moved it offshore early on.”

“Yeah,” Stone said. “Gulfstream won’t give you an airplane if you give them a bad check.”

“I guess he could have bought a used one, like you.”

“I guess, but it wouldn’t be as nice as mine. Has anybody tried to kidnap Zanian yet?” Stone asked.

“Nothing out there about that. You think he’s a candidate for kidnapping?”

“I’d bet there’s a team being assembled now, not that it would do them any good. The money is probably in Macao or the Dutch East Indies by now.”

“Well, they could have the fun of torturing him for the account numbers,” Dino said.

“Tink would gleefully join in that activity.”

“Well, after all, he told her he was a good guy, didn’t he? The memory of all that will light her fuse. Are you going to help her?”

“What can I do, apart from joining the kidnap team?”

“Isn’t there some lawyer thing you can work?”

“It’s hard to sue a guy who’s in a country with no extradition treaty with the U.S. About all you could do is shoot him, and you can’t extradite a corpse or its money, either.”

“This just in,” Dino said. “Reuters is reporting that Zanian could have got away with as much as six hundred million dollars.”

“Then he could afford a new Gulfstream.”

“He probably borrowed the money,” Dino said.

“If that’s the case, his bank already has people out there looking to steal the airplane back, although they’d call it a repo. No, if Zanian is smart enough to steal that much money, then he’s smart enough to hide it, and in an airplane is a good place.”

“What would he do for ready cash?”

“A ready bank down the street from wherever he is. Also, he would have bolted a concealed safe to the airframe, so he can bribe his way into his next destination. I had a client once who was a director of a big pharma company, and they sent him on a tour of their African branches with three hundred grand in a safe, just for bribes. There wasn’t much left when he got back.”

“Well,” Dino said. “It’s nice to hear that the American dollar is still good for something.”

“Of course, he’s probably bought a lot of Bitcoin,” Stone said.

“What do you know about Bitcoin?”

“Not a thing. I don’t understand it. I just threw that in because it sounds good.”

“Just as I thought.”

“I just thought of something,” Dino said.

“Dare I ask?”

“How are you going to get laid, if you can’t get Tink’s money back?”

“I was afraid you’d bring that up.”

“What are the chances?”

“Pretty near zero right now.”

“Well, you can always consult the little black book and dredge up somebody from the past.”

“The past is past; I’d rather keep looking ahead.”

“That’s a good excuse for not scoring. Viv has a friend she keeps talking about hooking you up with,” Dino said. “She gets home tomorrow. Want me to ask her about it?”

“Not yet. Let’s wait until I’m really desperate.”

“You sound really desperate now.”

“All right, mention it to her. Does this woman have a name?”

“Kitty Crosse, with an e.”

“Sounds like a sex position.”

“That’s up to you two. I’ll see what Viv can do.”

“See ya.” Stone hung up.

Immediately, Joan buzzed him. “Tink for you on one.”

“Tell her I had a heart attack and died.”

“She said that she promises this will be her last call to you.”

“That might be worth taking,” Stone said. He pushed the button. “You promise this is the last call?”

“It is. I just want to apologize for hanging all this on you. You tried to help me, and I blew you off. I want you to know I’m sorry. You gave me good advice, and I ignored it.”

Stone was taken aback. “You’re serious?”

“I am. Can we have dinner soon?”

“What for?”

“Well, if you won’t see me, who am I going to fuck?”

“Tink, as much fun as that sounds, I’m going to have to pass. I’m seeing someone else now.”

“Oh, really? Who?”

“I’d rather not bring her into this conversation. I appreciate your apology, and I wish you well with getting your money back. Goodbye.”

“Whaaa—?”

Stone hung up before she could finish the word.