Most Wanted

35

“MELANIE! WAIT UP!”

It was Dan, calling to her from the entrance to the underpass. ¡Gracias a Dios! She was so relieved! He strode over to them.

“I thought you were coming back to the hospital, and you’re out partying?” Dan said, smiling. “I should’ve guessed. You’re a wild one, all right.”

“Bernadette roped me into it. I told her we had work to do.”

“Absolutely. That’s why I’m here. I have some information we need to follow up on right away.”

“Oh, okay. Sorry, Rommie,” Melanie said. “I wish I could help get Bernadette home, but the investigation is at a critical point. I know you understand.”

“Sure, no problem. Thanks for helping out,” Rommie said nonchalantly. She must have been imagining things, because if he was annoyed or angry that she wasn’t getting into the car, he sure did a good job of hiding it. She walked around to where Bernadette stood slumped against the front door, eyes closed, complexion ghost-white.

“ Bern, honey,” Melanie said gently, touching her shoulder, “I need to go. Do you want me to put you in a cab?”

She opened her eyes. “No, it’s okay. I just drank too much. I’ll feel better in a minute. Rommie can take me home.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

Rommie came around and opened Bernadette’s door. He wouldn’t meet Melanie’s eyes, but she put that down to the embarrassing scene she’d just witnessed. Bernadette got in, staring straight ahead, looking like she might break down and sob at any moment. Melanie’s heart ached for her boss, but she understood there was nothing she could do. Some things people just had to work through on their own.

“Call me if you need anything, Bern. Doesn’t matter how late,” she said.

Without speaking, Dan and Melanie headed for the street, hearing the sounds of car doors opening and closing behind them. The engine of Rommie’s car sputtered to life. Headlights threw their shadows into relief on the pavement as Rommie and Bernadette drove slowly past and disappeared from sight.

AS THEY EMERGED FROM THE TUNNEL, DAN said, “Jeez, that looked ugly. You seemed like you wanted out of there pretty bad.”

“Yes, I did. Thanks for rescuing me. You’re very good at it.” She smiled at him, and he flushed with pleasure.

“Just doing my job, ma’am,” he joked. “So what was going on? Looked like Ramirez was practically kidnapping you.”

“Yeah, that’s how it felt. Listen to this and tell me if you think it’s strange: Apparently Rommie’s cheating on Bernadette. She was drunk, and they were in the middle of a fight, but then he insisted I leave with them.”

“Why?”

“I think what he really wanted was to get me to show him some bank records I subpoenaed from Jed Benson’s accounts.”

“What’s in the records? Anything worth getting excited about?”

“Yeah, like millions of dollars of structuring.”

“You’re shittin’ me!”

“Nope!”

He whistled. “Wow. Millions, you said? It’s gotta be drug money, right?”

“That’s what Bernadette said, and I agree. But there’s more.”

He was listening so attentively. She opened her mouth to tell him about the fingerprint report but then stopped herself. Something in the careful way he watched her suddenly struck her as odd. God, she was paranoid tonight! But, unlike with Rommie, where Dan was concerned, she had actual reason to be. She was losing sight of what Delvis Diaz had said to her earlier that evening-that the people she’d brought to the interview were dirty. He didn’t mention Dan by name, but still, shouldn’t she try harder to keep her guard up, at least until she could get the full story from Delvis? Not that she’d necessarily believe him even if he did implicate Dan directly. Delvis might have reason to lie, and Dan struck her as honest as the day was long.

“What is it?” Dan asked. “You said there’s more?”

“Um, lost my train of thought.” Not that she seriously doubted him. But still. “So do you think that’s weird?”

“That he wanted to see the records? No, not really. Sounds like they’re pretty devastating. Besides, Ramirez makes a career out of sticking his nose in where it doesn’t belong. You know I think the guy’s an idiot. Just look at the fact that he’s stepping out on your boss. He’s biting the hand that feeds him.”

“Why do you say that?” she asked.

“His influence with her is half of why they keep him around. The guy is such a royal fuck-up he’s come close to getting booted more times than I can count.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard that before.”

“He’s been beating this minority thing to death for years, or he would’ve been out on his ass long ago.”

“Hey, watch what you say there, pal!” she said. “Soy puertorriqueña también, remember?”

“No offense meant to you, sweetheart. You’re, like, the smartest person I ever met. Which is why people like him piss me off, because they give people like you a bad name.” He looked at her and laughed. “You should see your face right now. You’re going, ‘Who the fuck is this knuckle-dragger I’m hanging out with?’ Look, I’ll never be politically correct, and you can’t take me into polite society. But I promise you, my heart is in the right place.”

She laughed, too. It was hard to be mad at him. “You do have kind of a redneck quality, Agent, but I admit, on you it’s charming.”

“It’s the Irish beat cop in me.”

“So, hey, speaking of cops, if you’re here, who’s at the hospital with Amanda?”

“Randall finally showed up. I left him there and came looking for you, see what was taking you so long.”

“Where the hell was he all afternoon?” Melanie asked.

“I didn’t ask, and he didn’t say. Dealing with personal shit, I guess.”

“Oh. Right. So should we go back there?” She looked at her watch, missing Maya, thinking of Elsie at home counting the minutes. “It’s getting pretty late.”

“No need. Randall said he’d beep me if anything interesting happened. So, listen,” he said, turning toward her and stopping momentarily, “you wanna maybe go get a drink or something?”

“A drink? We don’t have time for that.”

“You need to fill me in on those bank records, right? Besides, I need to grab a bite to eat.”

“You’re crazy.”

“Come on, just for a little while. You got a better offer?” he cajoled.

Despite her warning to herself only a moment earlier, she felt powerfully drawn to him. His blue eyes were glued to her face with such intensity that they blazed. And his voice-rough and sweet at the same time-seemed to caress her. But she’d say no, she’d make herself, she had to. She couldn’t spend time with him like that, alone in a bar. Bad, bad idea. On a lot of levels.

“I can’t. If we’re not going back to the hospital, then I need to get home.”

“So pick a place on the way, and then I’ll drop you. Thirty minutes, tops, I promise. Then I’ll take you right home. My treat. Please. Say yes.”

He was hanging on her answer. How long had it been since somebody wanted so badly to spend time with her? Had anybody ever? Had her husband? She reminded herself of all the reasons to say no. There were a lot of them.

“Okay,” she said breathlessly. Ay, de Dios, she was making a big mistake. “Just a quick one.”

His face lit up. “Whatever you say. I’m parked right over here.”

DAN HEADED FOR A PUB HE KNEW ON SECOND Avenue. The whole way there in the car, Melanie felt nervous and guilty that she was even doing this. But now that she’d agreed to it, she couldn’t very well make him take her right home. Besides, it would disappoint him so. Just one quick drink, she told herself. That wasn’t a crime.

As they looked for parking, she marveled that she’d never been on this block before, a mere five minutes from her apartment. New York was funny that way. A few blocks in either direction and you might as well be on a different continent. On either side of the street, low-rise tenements with lacy ironwork fire escapes, standing since the turn of the last century, alternated with dowdy white-brick high-rises built thirty or forty years ago, after the demolition of the elevated train. The avenue was lined with bars on both sides. Bankers and analysts in their twenties, the men dapper and suited, the women perfectly made up, in heels and skirts, spilled out of the tonier places. In the midst of the frenetic singles scene, a number of Irish pubs hung on stubbornly, one indistinguishable from the next. They stood ramshackle and deserted next to their flourishing neighbors, shamrocks on their tattered awnings, neon Guinness signs in their grimy plate-glass windows. Dan parked in front of one of these.

The place was empty except for a couple of weather-beaten longshoreman types shooting darts in the back. They glanced up as Dan and Melanie entered, then turned indifferently back to their game. A smell of disinfectant from the bathrooms mingled with the yeasty smell of stale beer. Melanie sat down on a stool at a high wooden table. Dan headed for the bar without asking her what she wanted. She watched him walk away. He moved like an athlete, that combination of power and grace. An old jukebox stood tucked in an alcove, and he stopped there on his way, depositing a quarter he took from his pocket. Sinatra came on-“I’ve Got You Under My Skin.” She listened to the lyrics as Dan walked back toward her with two pints of foamy, dark brown Guinness and two meat pies.

“Hey, let me give you some money,” she said, reaching into her bag.

“No way. I said it was my treat. Besides, the man always pays.”

“But I know you’re short till Friday.”

“Not necessary,” he said, blushing. “I know the bartender. That’s why I picked this place.”

She saw he was embarrassed and kicked herself for bringing it up. As if she’d forgotten what it felt like to be strapped for cash.

“Okay then, thanks,” she said, lifting the beer mug. “Hey, what is this? There’s a shamrock imprinted in the foam.”

“It’s Guinness, missy, real authentic. That’s how they serve up a pint in the old country.”

She tasted it. “It’s so thick. I won’t need any dinner if I drink this.”

“I can’t believe I’m out with a girl who never had a Guinness before. I shouldn’t be surprised, though. You’re the champagne-and-caviar type if I’ve ever seen one.”

“Right. Every day. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner.” She laughed at the thought. The beer was going to her head, coming as it did on an empty stomach and after the wine she’d drunk at the dinner. She’d better watch herself. She was supposed to be keeping her guard up with him, remember? She forced herself to focus on the case.

“So,” she said, “after looking at these bank records, I think Jed Benson was killed because he was dirty.”

“You’re like a bullet headed straight for the target, you know that?” he said, smiling.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“We just sat down. Can’t we talk about something other than the case for five minutes?”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. What you do in your free time, or what your best subjects were in school, or when you had your first kiss?”

“This is not a date, you know.”

“Aw, come on. Humor me a little. What’s it gonna cost ya?”

Maybe more than either of us knows, she thought, looking into his eyes. The feeling of being with him, of how much he wanted to be with her, was so heady. She was too vulnerable right now, and he was too attractive. She had no idea where this was going, but something told her she should stop it.

“Why do you care when I had my first kiss?” she asked. She’d intended to shut him down, but all this talk about kissing was getting to her. She couldn’t help glancing at his mouth. Which was beautiful, of course, strong and sensual.

“I just want to know you better, that’s all,” he said. He reached for her left hand, taking it in his, and tracing a fingertip lightly across her empty ring finger. “Like, what’s up with this?”

She pulled her hand away and picked up her drink again, trying hard to ignore her racing pulse.

“I forgot to wear my rings this morning. So?” she said, looking down into her beer.

“Yeah? Look me in the eye and tell me that.”

She looked up. Caught in the tractor beam of his gaze, she couldn’t bring herself to lie. “Maybe it’s none of your business,” she said tentatively, setting the mug back down without drinking.

“Melanie, I’m your friend. At least I want to be. I get this feeling like you need one.”

She sighed, saying nothing.

“Believe me, I know where you’re coming from,” he continued. “I’m a pretty private person myself. I been through some shit of my own and not talked about it. It gets lonely. I don’t mean to push. It’s just…”

He trailed off. There was genuine concern in his eyes, and something else, too. Something like pain. She felt a powerful urge to confide in him, to tell him everything. Not just about her marriage either, but everything about her, from when she was a child. But she couldn’t let herself. She and Steve were going to work on things. Today he’d finally seemed ready to. She had Maya to think of. She’d decided all that already, hadn’t she?

Dan watched the struggle play out on her face. “It’s just…I don’t want you to be lonely when you don’t need to be. Something’s going on. Tell me, you’ll feel better.”

She felt like she was swimming upstream, and all she wanted was to give in and let the current sweep her away. She couldn’t help herself. She needed whatever it was Dan was offering her.

“My husband and I, we separated. But it’s only temporary. I mean, it may not be permanent.”

“Why? What happened?” he asked.

“Oh, the usual story. It used to be the secretary, right? But now it’s the-what do they call ’em-the executive assistant?”

“He cheated on you?” he asked incredulously.

She shrugged like it was obvious, but his surprise pleased her.

“What a fucking retard! He never deserved you in the first place. I’ll tell him so to his face. Hell, I’ll beat the shit out of him if you want me to.”

“No, that’s okay. Thanks, though. I think.” She laughed, shaking her head.

He leaned toward her across the tall table and reached for her hand again. Their fingers intertwined. Her heart began beating wildly. Her brain told her to pull away, but this time her hand didn’t obey.

“Hey,” he began, leaning even closer. “Can I tell you something?”

“What?” she asked breathlessly, afraid of what he might say. This was moving way too fast. She waited for his next words, but in the second of silence, her cell phone began shrieking inside her bag.

“Don’t answer it,” he said, but she took her hand from his and reached for her bag. By the time she found her phone, the ringing had stopped. She looked at the number-Steve’s cell phone.

“I totally forgot! I was supposed to meet my husband. Hold on,” she said, and checked her voice mail. Steve had called from a taxi on his way to the therapist’s office to give her the address. “I have to go,” she told Dan.

“Why?” He looked crestfallen. “Don’t. Not yet.”

“Like I said, the separation might not be permanent. We’re working on things. We have a counseling appointment.”

“All right,” he said, nodding stoically. “I understand. Let me drive you.”

“That’s not such a good idea,” she said firmly.

“Why? Where is it?”

“On the West Side, but that’s not the point. I can’t show up to my counseling session with some other guy driving me.”

“With Slice still out there, no way I’m letting you go by yourself.”

“No, really.”

“Really. I insist. I’ll drop you around the corner if it makes you feel better.”

“Dan, please.”

“Come on, we’re wasting time standing here arguing about it.”

SHE WASN’T SURE WHY SHE ENDED UP IN HIS car-whether it was because he wouldn’t let her say no or because she didn’t want to.

“Where to?” he asked.

“ West End and Eighty-fifth. She works out of her apartment, this woman.”

“Jesus, I can only imagine. Some ex-hippie in a caftan with long gray hair?”

She giggled. “Maybe, I don’t know. This is the first session.”

“I never believed in that counseling shit anyway. Either you make it on your own steam or you don’t.”

“Yeah? What do you know about marriage?”

“Oh, I know a thing or two, missy, and it ain’t pretty. But then, maybe I wasn’t married to the right person. Maybe you weren’t either. Aren’t, I mean.” In the light from an oncoming car, he wore an expression of grim determination.

“I had no idea you were married before,” she said.

“It’s not the first thing you mention when you meet someone.”

“So what happened?”

He stared at the road, not answering. The silence grew.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “Now I’m prying.”

“No, no. I want to tell you. It’s hard for me, is all. Like I said, I never talked to anyone about it before.”

“You never talked to anyone about the breakup of your marriage? Not one single person?” she asked.

“No.”

“How long ago did you get divorced?”

“Lemme see. It’s four-no, almost five years now.”

“That’s a long time to keep it inside.”

He took his eyes off the road and looked at her. “I told you, I’m very private. I don’t just go around telling people stuff. But I want to tell you this, so you know me.”

“I understand,” she said, looking back at him, feeling something opening inside her heart. He seemed so alone. Like she felt sometimes.

“Simple story, really. I knew my wife-my ex-wife, that is-my whole life, from when we were kids. Everybody expected we would wind up together. She was the best-looking girl in the neighborhood, and I was…well”-he blushed in the darkness of the car-“I guess you could say I was a good ballplayer. So, long story short, we got married, young. Too young.”

“Yeah, so? A lot of people get married young and it works out okay.”

“Jeez, now I see why you get so much information out of witnesses. Gestapo tactics here.”

“Sorry. Take your time.”

“This is hard for me,” he repeated.

“I’m sorry.” She reached for his hand, resting on the steering wheel. She’d only intended to pat it reassuringly, but he gripped her hand hard, as if he needed her help to go on.

“Well, it was like this. Diane was from a cop family, like me, so she knew the score. But she was a princess, too. Everybody was always sucking up to her, because she was beautiful. As beautiful as you, but she wasn’t smart like you, didn’t have your substance.”

“You sound angry. Did she leave you?” she asked, paying close attention but also secretly thrilled. He thought she was beautiful!

“Yeah. She got sick of being married to a cop, thought she could do better. Those early years with the Bureau, I’d go on duty, get thrown a case, and call home three days later from the other side of the world. Nothin’ I could do about it either, except quit, which I wasn’t about to, since I was born for the job. It might have worked out okay if she had more of her own shit going on. But she never wanted to work. And it didn’t happen for us with having kids. That was a big disappointment.” He fell silent again.

“So she left?”

“Yup.” He stared out the window at the traffic. “I came home one afternoon from a tour, forty-eight hours straight in the same clothes. Took a shower and crashed. It wasn’t until the next morning I realized her stuff was gone. She didn’t even leave a note. The divorce papers came in the mail.”

“Where is she now?”

“Remarried to a guy I used to play ball with. I think she was cheatin’ with him when we were still together, but I can’t be sure. He’s got a construction business out on the Island. She helps out in the office, drives a nice car. She found what she wanted, I guess.”

They reached their destination. He pulled up to the curb a car length away from the marriage counselor’s building.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” he said, as she started to open her door. She turned back.

“What?”

“This, you and me. Is it just revenge, for what your husband did?”

His heart was so exposed as he spoke that she could practically see it right there in the car. She wanted to protect him, comfort him.

“I don’t think so,” she said. But there was a touch of uncertainty in her voice that he didn’t miss.

“Anyone ever tell you you’re too honest?” he asked, smiling sadly.

He reached out and tucked a stray wisp of hair behind her ear, letting his fingers linger on her cheek. Eyes full of longing, he traced the outline of her lips. She felt his hand tremble. She was mesmerized by his touch, unwilling to stop him. It seemed to take an eternity for him to lean toward her across the small distance between their seats, so that by the time their lips met, the kiss seemed inevitable, preordained. Yet it was the merest taste, sweet and gentle and over much too soon.

He sat up straight in the driver’s seat. “You’d better go in. I’ll call you in the morning, okay?”

“Okay,” she said.

Melanie opened the door and got out, feeling unsteady on her feet. She looked back at him for a long moment before slamming the door shut.

Dan honked the horn as he drove past, but she didn’t wave back. Her eyes were focused instead on the brightly lit path under the green awning that stretched from the door of the building to the curb. Steve was standing there, framed by the light, staring at her, shock and hurt in his eyes. He’d seen everything.