Unnatural Acts

54

Herbie was working late. It was after nine, and Cookie was long gone. He was just closing folders and his briefcase, when there was a sudden movement at the door of his office. Herbie instinctively leapt to his feet. Dink Brennan was standing in the doorway.

“Hey, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Dink said.

Herbie sank back into his chair. “I wasn’t expecting you, Dink.”

“If you’re all done here, let me buy you a drink.”

“I’ll buy you one,” Herbie said, getting up again and going to the bar. “You’re legal now. What’ll you have?”

“Whatever you’re having,” Dink said.

Herbie put some ice cubes into two glasses and poured Knob Creek over them, then handed one to Dink and sat down.

Dink sipped it tentatively. “Bourbon. I like it.”

“You’re a precocious drinker,” Herbie said. He was still a little nervous about being there at night, alone with Dink.

Dink took a drag on his drink. “What do you think of me, Herb?”

“I think you should have been an actor.”

Dink looked at him. “Funny you should mention that, I considered it once.”

“You should consider it again,” Herbie said. “Instead of law school.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re good at it. You’ll get lots of attention from girls, and you won’t have to sweat the work that goes with law school, and especially with practicing law. And I think you’d enjoy being famous.”

“Somehow I get the impression that what you’ve just said is not exactly a compliment.”

“Not exactly, no.”

“You avoided my question about what you think of me by saying I should be something else.”

“That’s what I think.”

“You think I’m acting now?”

“I think you’ve been acting at least since you made your exit from the farm-with me, with your dad.”

Dink regarded him for a slow count of about five. “I don’t like that much.”

“I don’t much care whether you like it or not.”

“You want to be careful, Herb. I’m a lot bigger than you, and I can be mean.”

“Both those things are obviously true,” Herbie said, “but let me give you some very good advice. Never pick a fight with someone you don’t know well. You won’t know what you’re getting into.”

“What would I be getting into if I got into a fight with you, Herb?”

“It’s time you knew a few things about me, Dink. Knowing them will save you a lot of grief.”

“What should I know about you, Herb?”

“You should know that, in my time, I’ve killed three men.”

“You were in the army?”

Herbie chuckled. “No, I wasn’t cut out for that.”

“Under what circumstances did you kill three men, Herb?”

“Have you ever heard of a man named Carmine Dattila? Also known as Dattila the Hun?”

Dink wrinkled his brow. “Mafia guy, maybe?”

“Mafia guy, certainly. I once owed some money to a bookie who worked for Dattila-oddly enough, the one I paid two hundred grand of your dad’s money to to get out of your life.”

“So, how did you handle that?”

“It’s more about how Dattila handled it. He sent two men to beat me up, then kill me. Large men. They got into my apartment.”

“And how did you handle that?”

“There was a fight. One of them came at me with a knife, so I took it away from him and killed him.”

Dink seemed to be frozen.

“Then the other guy came after me, and I killed him, too.”

“Why aren’t you in jail?”

“I didn’t commit a crime. I acted in self-defense. Dino Bacchetti and Stone Barrington saw that the whole business went away in a hurry.”

“What about the third guy?”

“That was Dattila. I took a long walk, and I thought about it. I decided that Dattila was going to send more men to kill me, if he was still around to do it, so I went down to the coffeehouse in the village where he did his business. I walked into the place and shot him twice in the head.”

“Why are you still alive?”

“Because a few minutes before my arrival, unbeknownst to me, the feds had raided the place, disarmed everybody, and taken half the people there away.”

“And that was self-defense?”

“When Stone got through talking to the DA about it, it was self-defense.”

“That’s quite a story.”

“My point is, it’s a true story. Stone once said to me that I have a rat-like instinct for survival. You should remember that, Dink.”

“I’ll keep it in mind.”

“There’s something else,” Herbie said. “I’ve just spent some time at a facility where people are trained to be expert with firearms and other weapons, and I excelled there.” Herbie picked up a letter opener from a cup next to his chair and turned it over and over in his hand.

“So, when I came in here, you could have killed me with that?”

“With that or a couple of other innocuous objects in this room.”

“Are you threatening me, Herb?”

“Certainly not. I’m advising you on your future behavior. I would not like to think of you as a threat, Dink. You should conduct yourself in such a manner so as not to make me think that of you.”

“I see.”

“I hope you do. You see, your physical size and your past behavior as a bully give you a false sense of confidence when dealing with other people. You should always remember that there are people who are smarter, tougher, and more lethal than you, and you never know who they are until you pick on the wrong person. Last week, I met people who could kill you with a thumb.”

“I’ll try to avoid people like that,” Dink said.

“You can’t avoid them, Dink, so you should make it a point not to be a threat to anyone you meet.”

Dink nodded and tossed off his drink. “Thanks for the refreshment, Herb,” he said, “and for the advice. I’d better run along.”

“And,” Herbie said, “you should give serious consideration to a career in acting. There’s a very good drama school at Yale.”

Dink got up and left. Herbie took another couple of minutes to finish his drink and calm himself.