Alfie In The Snow

‘Tiger, we have to tell him,’ I said, as I sat on her doorstep.

‘OK, but not today. I have been feeling sick, and I really do need to sleep. Can you make an excuse for me, and I promise I’ll tell him tomorrow.’

She looked so sad and I didn’t know whose pain was whose any more, I could feel mine and hers, mixed up together. I know I was feeling sorry for myself, and devastated at the idea of losing her, but suddenly I stopped being selfish and focused on how awful it was going to be for her. She was the one that was ill. I hadn’t even thought about how much she was hurting, but now it was all I could think about. I needed to be kinder, less selfish. It wasn’t easy.

‘Of course, you need to rest, Tiger, and you will not tell George tomorrow. We will tell him tomorrow. I’ll meet you here after breakfast. And I love you.’

‘I love you too, Alfie, and I’m sorry …’

‘You have nothing to be sorry for. You just think of yourself for now and I will worry about everything else. After all, it’s what I’m good at.’

We both managed a small smile before we parted. So, I just needed a plan to keep George away and, of course, taking him with me to see Dustbin would be perfect. It was not too far, as I have already said, but it was far enough away to keep him from Edgar Road for a few hours. Hopefully by the time we got back the children would be home from school and things would be too hectic for him to think of going out again. It was the only plan I had right now.

I found George in the back garden, about to go into the house.

‘Have you been to see Hana?’ I asked.

‘Yes, but Sylvie is home today so we couldn’t chat. I was going to see Tiger mum.’

My heart felt as if it was being stabbed.

‘Good idea, but I have to go and see Dustbin. Do you fancy coming with me first?’ I asked, trying to act nonchalant.

‘Oh yes, I’d love to see Dustbin. After all, I can see Tiger mum any time I want.’

Oh God, just as I thought my heart couldn’t break any more.

George chatted away as we walked and I think he failed to notice how quiet I was. It felt as if I spoke I wouldn’t be able to hide the truth and it was important, for George I believed, that Tiger and I both told him together. That was parenting after all. So I tried to mew in the right places and I tried to concentrate on his cheerful chatter. I couldn’t help but think of Edgar Road without Tiger and that didn’t seem right. Not right at all.

‘Dad, we’re here, you were miles away,’ George said, as we weaved through the back way to the restaurant yard.

‘Sorry, son,’ I said. I really did need to pull myself together, not only for the next few hours but after … No, I wasn’t ready to think about after.

Dustbin was giving himself a wash when we found him.

‘Oh, this is a nice surprise,’ he said. As usual he seemed genuinely happy to see us.

George went straight for the bins to see if he could sniff out any mice and, instead of telling him off, I let him, so I could talk to Dustbin.

‘I thought I’d ask you if you knew what was happening with Aleksy?’ I asked. ‘Franceska was at ours yesterday and she was upset.’

‘Oh, interesting. You know, I heard her and Tomasz talking last night as they checked the restaurant last thing. He told her that she was being silly, that Aleksy might be a bit secretive and glued to his phone but he wasn’t drinking, smoking or taking drugs.’

‘God forbid,’ I said. ‘He isn’t, is he?’ None of that had occurred to me.

‘Nah, Alfie, you see, Aleksy sneaks down here when he thinks his parents don’t notice. From what I can gather, he seems to have got himself a girlfriend.’

‘Oh, is that all?’ I felt relieved. A girlfriend, that was a nice thing, not something to worry about.

‘Yeah and he was saying he wanted to tell his mum and dad but his girlfriend doesn’t want him to. It seems I’ve become a bit of an eavesdropper since meeting you.’ He laughed, as did I. Dustbin used to keep himself to himself until he met me. He did try to keep me at paw’s length when we first met but I wasn’t having that and now we were the best of friends and he knew everything that went on.

‘Sorry, well actually I’m not sorry. The more we learn about our humans the easier it is to solve their problems,’ I pointed out.

‘Right you are. Anyway, from what I could hear of his conversation, his girlfriend obviously told him not to tell his parents and he said he was finding it hard to lie to them, but the girl must have said something else because then he said, OK, he would leave it a bit longer until she was ready.’

‘Let me get this straight. The reason he’s being secretive is that his girlfriend can’t tell her parents so she’s asked him to keep quiet?’ It seemed to make sense.

‘Yes, and I gather that her mum thinks she is too young for a boyfriend.’

‘You really did listen, didn’t you?’ I raised my whiskers, impressed.

‘Oh yes, and I know who the girl is, by the way.’ He grinned. I hadn’t thought to ask that question, where was my mind? My eyes nearly popped out of my head. Who was she?

‘So do I,’ George piped up. I hadn’t noticed him but he was behind us, having heard it all.

‘Who?’ I asked. And how did George know?

‘Connie,’ they both said at the same time.

It seemed George, clever George, had worked it out by listening to me and also to Hana. Hana had said she knew the boy went to school with Connie and also he’d been to the house, which must have been Aleksy. Dustbin had heard Aleksy call her by her name. Perhaps all the trauma with Tiger had taken me slightly off my game, but it hadn’t even occurred to me. I guess no one could blame me though. I suddenly felt like crying. Aleksy and Connie were beginning their relationship and mine was ending. Oh dear, I was back to being selfish.

‘Well, I think it’s great,’ I managed. ‘Aleksy is a good boy, Sylvie should be pleased that her daughter has met a lad like him and not one of those horrible ones that hang around the park sometimes with their trousers half way down their bums.’

‘Oh Dad, you do sound old sometimes,’ George teased. ‘It’s just fashion.’

‘I do not,’ I replied. ‘And fashion isn’t always right.’

‘Actually, you do a bit,’ Dustbin agreed. ‘Reading between the lines, it seems that Sylvie is a bit overprotective of Connie, not only with everything that has been going on but also because her life in Japan was very sheltered.’ Dustbin was a pretty perceptive cat.

‘It was,’ George added. ‘Her school only had girls in it, and she didn’t really have any friends that were boys, let alone boyfriends. Hana told me that.’

‘Is Hana the cat who never goes out?’ Dustbin asked.

‘Yes, and she’s my new friend,’ George replied. ‘And we talk through the glass door. It’s a bit strange but we’re making it work.’ He sounded so grown-up, I was proud.

‘Anyway, so her mum doesn’t know about Aleksy?’ I checked.

‘No, and Connie wants to keep it that way for a while, because she is worried that she’ll go mad and stop her from seeing him,’ Dustbin continued. ‘But that’s all I know.’

‘It’s a lot,’ I said. ‘And I wish he’d tell Franceska and Tomasz. They won’t be angry with him, in fact they would probably be able to help.’

‘But you can’t make him tell them,’ Dustbin pointed out.

‘Well, actually I probably can,’ I said, and we all laughed.

Although my feelings about Tiger weighed heavily on me, I was relieved to find out the only thing wrong with my boy Aleksy was that he had his first ever girlfriend. I found it quite moving; he was growing up. They all were, and that included George. As much as you wanted to protect them all, you couldn’t protect them from everything – I was learning that the hard way. The problem was my children were too.

‘So, what are you going to do, Alfie?’ Dustbin asked.

‘I’ll think of something,’ I said. ‘But in the meantime, do you think someone might be out soon with left-overs?’ I felt a bit hungry after all this emotional activity.

‘I’ll stand at the door and they’ll think I am too cute to resist,’ George said, and he did just that. It didn’t take long before one of the staff came out with a bowl of food for each of us; it never failed to work.

I was aware that some people would wonder how I could think of my stomach at a time like this but I knew that I needed to keep my strength up. Whatever happened the next few days, weeks, or however long I had my precious Tiger, I would need it all, and with the humans adding in their issues to my already complex emotional mix, I knew I needed to make sure that I was in peak physical condition. Even if my feelings were broken and they would never ever recover, I would have to get through this. Too many people relied on me: George, my human kids, the adults, and now we had Sylvie, Connie and Hana to take care of.

As I ate I realised I was needed by many, and most of all, Tiger needed me. I would somehow have to reassure her that it was going to be alright, that she shouldn’t be scared, that she mustn’t fret about leaving us behind because George and I would somehow cope. I knew that she needed to be at peace and the only way for her to do that was for me to ensure she didn’t worry. I had no idea how to do that, but I knew it was right at the top of my priority list. I still didn’t know how I was going to be able to say goodbye to her but I needed her to think that I would be fine, and most importantly that George would too.

‘Are you alright?’ Dustbin asked. ‘You don’t quite seem yourself.’ I looked at him, his kind eyes, his scruffy fur, and I wanted to tell him everything, but then I looked at George sitting beside him, gazing hopefully up at me, and I knew I would keep it to myself for now.

‘I’m fine, just thinking about all the work we have to do to fix our humans,’ I lied.

‘Oh well, you know I’ll help you with anything you need. I’ll keep my ears open with Aleksy anyway and if there’s anything urgent I’ll come to you,’ Dustbin said, reassuringly.

‘And you don’t have to worry about me, Dad,’ George said.

‘No, son, I know,’ I lied, for the second time that day.