Alfie In The Snow

I woke up feeling weary, as if I hadn’t slept. The last few days had been trying and it was taking its toll. Claire, Polly and Franceska were all still very upset about Sylvie, and although Jonathan said that it would all blow over – that seemed to be his solution to most things – I wasn’t so sure. They were lucky I wasn’t like him.

Although Claire and Polly had discussed it yesterday and tried to come up with a plan, they both felt that, although Sylvie was clearly having a difficult time, they had to be loyal to Franceska. They agreed that they could try to broker peace, but they needed Franceska to know they were her friends first and foremost, and also, she was right and Sylvie, according to Polly, was insane.

I felt exactly the same. They discussed trying to reason with Sylvie and, while I wasn’t sure that would work, I was pleased they were trying. However, they argued about who would go and see her and in the end they rolled a dice from one of the kids’ board games. Polly lost. Claire, from her position of not having to go near Sylvie, was happy to offer advice, but Polly wasn’t thrilled.

Of course I was worried about Tiger as well, and seeing her was becoming increasingly difficult. With a lot of effort we were still managing, and every time I saw her face I was filled with happiness that she was still with us. I was also concerned about George. I tried to have numerous conversations with him about Tiger but he kept changing the subject or saying he was fine. He was brushing me off, which of course made me fret about him more, but I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t make him talk to me.

Instead, I told George about the situation with Sylvie before he went to visit Hana. I schooled him on the importance of information gathering so we could help them. And George, bless him, was a very good student. When he came back he reported that Hana was very upset. Connie wasn’t talking to her mum, but when she spent time with her in her bedroom, she confided in Hana. She cried a lot and talked about how unhappy she was, how she missed her dad and her home and how Aleksy had made it more bearable. She did say, however, that luckily Aleksy was being supportive and they were spending time together at school, which they accepted for now. They were sensible kids, I was right. It was a friendship first and foremost, I could see that, but if only Sylvie could see it too. If only there was a way to make her see it.

Sylvie wasn’t coping and Hana said that she had no one to turn to. Having cut herself off from the women, she wasn’t even talking to her friends via the computer any more. Hana told George that no one really comprehended how much Sylvie’s life had been turned upside down and that trying to hold things together for Connie, as she had been so far, was making her ill. Sylvie had even done as she’d threatened and spoken to her ex-husband, who had suggested Connie come and live with him in Japan, which had sent Sylvie almost mad. Now she felt she couldn’t talk to him about it, in case she lost her daughter. Because I knew this, but my women didn’t, I felt for Sylvie and thought it would be down to me to fix things for her.

As winter settled, cold whipping at our fur and nights and mornings dark and gloomy, my tranquil life was over. However, Tiger had to be my priority. I didn’t know how long I had left with her and I wasn’t going to miss a moment if I could help it. I knew I had other problems to solve, other fish to fry, and I had my paws full, yet everything would have to work around time with Tiger. That was something I would never get back again and I refused to miss it.

She was waiting on the back step for me. ‘Hi Alfie,’ she said. When I saw her these days, I had to gulp back my feelings, try not to show the shock in my eyes, which I knew, for a split second, was there. She was getting thinner, her fur had lost its glean and she was permanently exhausted. But she always kept her spirits up, which I thought was for my sake and George’s.

‘Tiger, looking good,’ I said and gave her my best grin.

‘I know that’s a lie. Anyway, I’m glad you’re here, tell me about the drama with your humans.’ She shivered.

‘Are you cold?’ I asked.

‘Yes, it’s harder and harder to keep warm, but I’ll be alright.’

I snuggled into her. ‘You don’t want to hear about my humans, all that drama,’ I said.

‘Alfie, don’t treat me as if I’m ill. Normally you would tell me all about the problems and I would listen to you, I need that. I need normality.’

‘OK, but before I do, how do you think George is coping?’ I asked. She nestled her head into my neck.

‘I don’t know, he’s putting a brave face on with me, and he visits me, which is sweet – my family don’t even mind at all any more. But when I try to talk to him he changes the subject.’

‘Same with me,’ I said. ‘He seems fine, but I know how much he loves you. And he seems to be avoiding me. Or maybe he just needs to be alone to process things. I know he sees Hana every day, and you, but he seems to be out for an awful long time and when I ask him he’s evasive.’

‘Alfie, he’ll be fine, he’s got you, and he’s probably just trying to get his little head around everything. Now tell me about this row between the women.’ Tiger had always been a bit like my voice of reason, and I fleetingly wondered who would be that when I lost her.

I told her all about how the relationship was fractured between them now, and how Claire and Polly were trying to resolve it.

‘But if Sylvie was so rude about Aleksy why do they want to be friends with her?’ Tiger asked. One thing I loved about Tiger was how she sometimes saw everything in black and white.

‘Well, firstly they want to resolve it for Aleksy and Connie’s sake, but also they know how badly Sylvie has been hurt. They know she’s not really horrible, but she’s scared, terrified even.’

‘I see. And do you have a plan?’

‘Not yet. I am going to see what happens when Polly tries to reason with her and also tomorrow, when I’ve left you, I’m going to go and see Dustbin, see if he has any news, about Aleksy mainly. But you know you’re my priority before I worry about anything else.’

Tiger sighed. ‘Look, Alfie, I know that you are going to put me first, but I also want whatever time I have left to be as normal as possible. And that means I expect you to do what you always do and come up with your mad plans, which inevitably involve some kind of disaster before working out.’

‘They are not mad, they are very good plans.’ I bristled.

‘What about when you nearly died?’

‘It all worked out in the end, but yes, maybe not that one,’ I conceded. I had tried to protect Claire from a boyfriend I knew was no good and I ended up being injured by him, but it did bring all my families together, so you know, it was kind of worth it.

‘And when you got stuck up the tree and had to be rescued by the firemen?’ I could tell she was grinning now.

‘Well yes, that might not have been my finest hour.’ I had been trying to woo Snowball, my first girlfriend, but I discovered a fear of heights and couldn’t get back down the tree. It was most humiliating.

‘Or when George got catnapped?’

‘But at least we managed to rescue loads of cats in the end.’ That had been a terribly worrying time though, not knowing where my little George was. We called them the ‘Lamppost Cats’, because cats were disappearing on and around Edgar Road; pictures of them were being hung on lampposts. At the same time, my families were all unhappy so I tried to get George to hide with Tiger for a while, the idea being that it would bring them all together again. And it did in the end but only after it went a bit awry as George got taken by the kidnapper – catnapper. It was the worst time of my life before we managed to rescue him and all the other cats.

‘Or when you nearly got set on fire?’

‘OK, Tiger, enough now.’ But I was smiling. I was glad to talk about old times with her, it was some comfort actually, even if she was teasing me. And I didn’t nearly get set on fire, I actually foiled a fire that was going to be set in our holiday house in Devon, so there.

‘So, promise me you won’t ever stop with your plans, Alfie,’ she said and I felt her eyes close and she fell asleep right on the doorstep, snuggled up with me in the cold. I wanted to tell her that I wasn’t sure I could give up my plans even if I wanted to, how when she was gone I would need to keep busy more than ever. There was so much I wanted to say to her.

I stayed still, and breathed in the scent of her. I was trying to commit it all to memory – how she looked, how she felt, how she smelt, how her fur tickled mine – because it was painfully clear that despite my optimism, despite the fact that I was the cat who fixed everything, there was no way I could fix this. One day soon, I would have to say goodbye to someone else I loved. And all I would be left with was my memories of her, so I wanted to make sure that I had lots of them.