American tabloid

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DOCUMENT INSERT: 4/19/61. Los Angeles Herald-Express headline:

WORLD LEADERS DECRY “ILLEGAL INTERVENTION”

DOCUMENT INSERT: 4/20/61. Dallas Morning News headline:

KENNEDY BLASTED FOR “HEEDLESS PROVOCATIONS”

DOCUMENT INSERT: 4/20/61. San Francisco Chronicle headline and subhead:

BAY OF PIGS FIASCO REVILED BY U.S. ALLIES

DOCUMENT INSERT: 4/20/61. Chicago Tribune headline and subhead:

WORLDWIDE CENSURE CRIPPLES PRESIDENT’S PRESTIGE

DOCUMENT INSERT: 4/21/61. Cleveland Plain Dealer headline and subhead:

EXILE LEADERS BLAME “KENNEDY COWARDICE”

DOCUMENT INSERT: 4/22/61. Miami Herald headline and subhead:

KENNEDY: “SECOND AIR STRIKE COULD HAVE

SPARKED WORLD WAR III”

EXILE COMMUNITY HONORS LOST AND CAPTURED HEROES

DOCUMENT INSERT: 4/23/61. New York Journal-American headline and subhead:

RED LEADERS BLAST “IMPERIALIST AGGRESSION”

DOCUMENT INSERT: 4/24/6 1. Hush-Hush magazine article. Written by Lenny Sands, under the pseudonym Peerless Poilticopundit.

RETREATING REDS WREAK RAT-POISON REVENGE!

His rancorous Red reign ran for a rotten two years. Shout it loud, proud and un-kowtowed: Fidel Castro, the bushy-bearded beatnik bard of bilious bamboozlement, was determinedly and dramatically deposed last week by a heroically homeland-hungering huddle of hopped-up hermanos righteously rankled by the Red Recidivist’s rape of their nation!

Call it D-Day ‘61, kats amp;° kittens. Call the Bay of Pigs the Caribbean Carthage; Playa Giron the Patriotic Parthenon. Call Castro debilitated and depilatoried-word has it that he shaved off his beard to dodge the deep and dangerous depths of revenge-seeker recognition!

Fidel Castro: the shabbily-shorn Samson of 19611 His deliriously delighted Delilahs: God-fearing, red, white amp; blue revering Cuban heroes!!!

Castro and his murderously malignant machinations: trenchantly terminated, 10-4, overand-out. The Monster’s maliciously maladroit maneuverings: still morally mauling Miami!!!!

Item: Fidel Castro craves cornucopias of cash- getaway gelt to felicitously finance future finag]ings!

Item: Fidel Castro has cravenly criticized America’s eminently egalitarian and instantly inclusive racial policies, reproachfully ragging U.S. leaders for their nauseously niggling neglect of Negro citizens.

Item: as previously posited, Fidel Castro and seditious sibling Raul sell homicidally hazardous Heroin in Miami.

Item: as the Bay of Pigs waggled and waxed as Castro’s Waterloo, the mendacious mastiff’s minor miscreant minions mined Miami’s Negro section with rat-poison-riddled Heroin! Scores of Negro drug addicts injected these carcinogenic Commie cocktails and died doomonically draconean deaths!!!

Item: this issue was rushed to press, to insure that Hush-Hush readers would not be left hungrily homesick for our properly protectionist parade of Playa Giron platitudes. Thus we cannot name the aforementioned Negroes or offer specific details on their dastardly deaths. That information will appear in scintillatingly-scheduled subsequent issues, in courageous conjunction with a new ongoing feature: “Banana Republic Boxscore: Who’s Red? Who’s Dead?”

Adios, dear reader-and let’s all meet for a tall Cuba Libre in laceratingly liberated Havana.

DOCUMENT INSERT: 5/1/81. Personal note: J. Edgar Hoover to Howard Hughes.

Dear Howard,

You must not be concerning yourself with Hush-Hush these days. If you’ll glance at the April 24th issue, you’ll see that it went to press at best precipitously and at worst with a certain amount of criminal negligence and/or criminal intent.

Did Mr. L. Sands perhaps possess some spurious foreknowledge of unforetellable events? His piece mentioned a number of Negro heroin overdoses in the Miami area, and my Miami police contacts tell me that no such overdoses occurred.

Nine Cuban teenagers, however, did die from injections of poisonous Heroin. My contact told me that on April 18, two Cuban youths stole an attachй case containing a large quantity of toxic heroin from a car involved in an unsolved shootout that left two Cuban men dead.

My contact mentioned the curiously prophetic (if historically inaccurate) Hush-Hush piece. I told him that it was merely one of life’s odd coincidences, an explanation that seemed to satisfy him.

I would advise you to tell Mr. Sands to get his facts reasonably straight. Hush-Hush should not publish science fiction, unless it’s directly in our best interest.

All best,

Edgar

DOCUMENT INSERT: 5/8/61. Miami Herald sidebar: