Beloved

Chapter Sixteen

We finish dinner and head through the lobby, and over to the elevator. As we wait, I consider my options. Do I invite him in? I mean, we aren’t a couple. We’re agreeing to stop flirting around the fact that we have some serious sexual tension. I don’t know if I’m ready to sleep with him, but if he kisses like that, I can only imagine what he fucks like. I’m not even going to let myself go there. I don’t really have time to make a pros and cons list, but I’m pretty sure the pros would win. I’m also quite sure that I could make anything into a pro at this point. Regardless, there are cons and the biggest one is how badly this could end for me. Sure, he doesn’t want to ruin my career, but how do I know I can trust him? Look how great my track record has been. No, there’s no way I’m going to sleep with him. We decided to take things slow. I need to pace myself with him or I’m going to get burned.

When the elevator door closes, all the feelings I was questioning are amplified by a thousand. I peek at Jackson who appears to have the same thoughts brewing. Our eyes lock and for a moment neither one of us moves. Then, all at once, we reach for each other, colliding in a haze of lust. I couldn’t give a shit about being burned—right now, I’d gladly turn to ash. Hands, teeth, lips are everywhere. Jackson has me pinned against the wall as his mouth greedily devours mine. There’s no finesse, no tenderness—this is primal, raw, two people desperate for each other. This kiss is weeks of flirting, toying, and resisting the urge to rip each other’s clothes off. His hands roam my body, groping, grasping, squeezing. I’m panting and moaning—I need more.

“Catherine …” He sighs heavily against my neck as I claw at his back.

“Please,” I beg. “Don’t stop.”

I hardly get the words out and his mouth is ravishing mine. Jesus Christ! Who am I? I no longer have the ability to form rational thoughts. All I am is desire, want, lust, and I can’t stop. I barely hear the ding of the elevator, but I’m definitely aware of Jackson’s absence.

I’m panting, staring incredulously at him as he leans on the wall opposite me. An older gentleman enters the elevator and looks at both of us with a knowing smile, clearly aware of what we were doing. Now I understand why he moved. My lips are swollen, and I can only imagine what my hair looks like after having Jackson’s hands tangled in it. I fix my dress and try to regain some semblance of composure. I swear I’ve completely lost control. The girl who wasn’t going to do this? Yeah, she’s gone. We’re like two teenagers going at it in an elevator—well, interrupted in an elevator, but I enjoyed every second of it.

The door opens with a ding, and Jackson grabs my hand and pulls me out of the elevator. His fingers intertwine with mine as we walk through the hall toward our rooms. He lifts our hands, kissing the back of mine. The feel of his calloused fingers brushing against me increases my need to have them everywhere. When we arrive at my door, the nerves coursing through me smother the yearning I was struggling to control. The fear of being hurt and vulnerable all over again is almost crippling.

Jackson speaks first. “Look at me.” He places his hand under my chin and lifts my head. “I want nothing more than to take you to bed, but I’m not going to push you.” There’s so much honesty in his words.

I nod, unsure of what I want. The woman who wore the corset wants him to come inside. However, my sensible and responsible side says I’m being crazy and I should take things slow. There is an angel and a devil on each shoulder and I’m not sure which one I should listen to. I’m not even sure there’s a choice.

He leans down and the instant his full lips press against mine, the sparks ignite into a raging fire that consumes every fiber of my being. I’m burning and I need him to extinguish the flames. His tongue explores my mouth and all I can taste is Jackson. Strong hands roam my body and pull me close, making me feel like I’m being branded. Fuck being sensible!

Somehow we manage to open the door while our mouths are fused together. Jackson’s tongue swirls with mine as we stumble through the room. My legs hit the edge of the bed, halting our movement. His deep voice drips with sex. “Turn around.”

Breathless, I obey his command. He lifts my hair and brushes it to the side, placing hot kisses against my neck. The anticipation buzzes from my head to my toes and back up to my stomach. Oh God, I want him so bad. Shifting my weight as the fire burns in my core, desperate to relieve the aching, I whimper as he pulls my zipper down agonizingly slow. Other than my erratic breathing and the teeth of my dress coming apart, there’s no sound in the room. In a husky whisper I beg, “Jackson, please …”

“Please what, baby?”

My dress pools on the floor and a long moan escapes my lips as he trails his tongue across my shoulders. The heat of his tongue in contrast to the cool room is wreaking havoc on my body. He turns me around and his breath hitches. With hungry eyes, he devours my body as I stand before him in my corset and heels. He steps forward and groans. “You are so fucking beautiful.” His mouth slams against my swollen lips and he pushes me on the bed.

I claw at his clothes, needing to feel his skin against mine. He rips his shirt off and my fingers press against his abs. Jackson hisses as my nails graze his chest, feeling every inch of his perfectly toned body. At the same time, he grabs my ankle and his hands roam up my legs, pushing my need for release to a throbbing ache. “Jackson …” I moan, trying to control the sensations his touch is educing.

“What do you want, Catherine? You’re going to have to tell me.”

“You—I want you.” I groan as his hands make their way higher.

“Oh baby, you’re going to have me.” He leans down against my ear and slowly traces the outside shell with his tongue. “I’m going to watch you come. Over and over.” I nearly shatter from his promise alone. His voice is low and primal, assuring all of what’s to come.

His hands slide down my body and unhook each tiny eye of my corset. With every pop, my chest tightens instead of finding relief. Finally, the last hook is free and the material falls to the side, leaving me exposed before him. Jackson leans down as I grab for his neck, pulling him toward me and devouring his mouth. He breaks the kiss and moves down my neck and chest, licking and kissing, until he reaches my breasts. The swirl of his tongue across my nipple makes it hard. He pulls it in his mouth, sucking, while his hand pulls and teases my other breast. My eyes roll back and I moan in ecstasy. “Oh God …”

Jackson groans and moves a hand to my panties. Moving them to the side, his fingers open my pussy. “Mmmm. So fucking wet for me.” He moves to my stomach and then pulls the tiny black thong down so that I’m completely naked except for my gold heels. The hunger in his eyes knocks me off center—I’ve never felt as sexy as I do right now. I need him. I want him so bad it hurts.

I lean in and grab his belt, needing to feel him. I manage to get his pants off, but he grabs my wrists before I can pull his boxers off too. I look up and he smiles softly. “I won’t be able to control myself if you do that. Lie down.” I comply. “I need to taste you. Right. Fucking. Now.”

He leans in and places slow kisses from my knee up to my thigh. As his mouth moves higher, I start to tremble. I close my eyes and fist the sheets as his tongue swipes at my center. It feels so incredible. He continues to lick and suck at the bundle of nerves and then stops. Then he starts again, bringing me closer and closer before suddenly stopping again. I’m almost to the point of tears. I need to release so bad it’s becoming physically painful. I moan and beg, “Jackson! Please, I’m so close.”

Jackson licks and sucks my clit, bringing me higher, almost to the breaking point. He inserts a finger, slowly curling it around, while he presses harder with his tongue. I detonate and my back bows off the bed as I repeat his name over and over, losing myself to the most intense orgasm I’ve ever had. Holy fuck!

I open my eyes as he crawls over me. “So fucking sexy. I’m going to enjoy watching you do that again.”

I sit up and press him down against the bed, straddling him. He lets out a groan while grabbing the back of my neck. His tongue swirls with mine, allowing me to taste myself mixed with Jackson. I moan, breaking the kiss as my lips travel down his body. I lick and kiss every ridge from his neck to his stomach. I pull his boxers off, setting his impressive erection free. There is nothing small about him—anywhere. I glance up as I lick his cock from root to tip and grip my hand around him, stroking him.

“Fuuuck. You’re about to unman me, Catherine.”

I’m about to do a whole lot more than that.

I smile and pull my hair to the side so he can see me take him in my mouth. I lick the bead of pre-cum from his tip and circle the top before sheathing my teeth and taking him into my mouth. His fingers tangle in my hair as I hollow out my mouth and take him deeper. He groans as I pump him up and down, applying pressure with my tongue on the underside. I feel him growing larger as I take him in to the back of my throat. Trying to control my gag reflexes, I do it one more time and he pulls tight on my hair as he moans. I want to make him come apart. I want to see if I can make him lose control the way he did to me, to call out my name over and over again. I reach down and roll his balls in my hand.

“Catherine, you better stop.” Jackson barely gets the words out and I do it again. “Baby, I’m gonna come.”

He erupts in my mouth, pumping in and out as he rides out his orgasm. I swallow every drop as he says my name over and over with reverence. I’ve never enjoyed giving a blowjob but that was worth watching.

I roll over while both of us try to catch our breath. I’m still coming down from my orgasmic bliss, but as my mind catches up with what just happened, I start to shake. What did I do? I never do this. Ever. I was so absorbed in the moment and now … there’s no going back. Until tonight, I’d never taken a man home before at least two months had passed. I’ve always been the one to put the brakes on—this time I was begging. I freaking begged him. My mind is reeling and the emotions are so intense my chest tightens.

Suddenly, Jackson lifts me and I’m facing him. He brushes the hair off my face as he rests on his arm beside me. He’s assessing me, watching each breath, watching how my eyes close as I try to mask my emotions. The way he’s reading me makes me tense. My emotions are all over the place and I know he can see it. I look off to the side while I grip his forearm. When he turns my head to look at him, worry is etched on his face. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

How do I explain this to him? “I just don’t do this—random hook-ups and one night stands.” I don’t know whether I’m more mortified by the fact that we barely know each other or that I enjoyed it. I close my eyes and focus on how amazing everything felt, how during that entire time he made me feel good, beautiful.

Jackson’s face softens and he smiles tenderly. “I never said this was random or a one-night thing, did I?”

“No.” I shake my head and look away to hide the tears forming. I ruined everything with my dumb insecurities. “I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” Jackson rolls onto his back and I try to get up. He grabs me, pulling me against his chest and wrapping his arms around me. He whispers in my hair, “Can I stay tonight?”

What? He wants to stay even though I’ve ruined it? “If you want. Of course you can stay.” I want him to so badly. I don’t know why, but I want nothing more than to lie in his arms and fall asleep.

Jackson doesn’t say another word. He just rubs his hand methodically on my back. I curl into him with my arm draped across his chest as I drift off to sleep.

“Mmmm.” I moan as I feel strong hands knead my breasts. I arch back and my eyes snap open as I process that someone is in bed behind me. Someone with his hands on my breasts.

His deep, raspy voice breaks through my fog as he croons in my ear, “Catherine …” Jackson pulls me against him as his hands roam my naked body. I guess this is a benefit to sleeping nude. He stayed. He didn’t run when I spooked. He held me all night and gave me comfort.

I’ve never wanted him more than I do right now. He begins kissing my neck and moves to my ear. “Jackson, now. Please.” I reach behind me and start stroking his cock.

“Soon enough, baby. I’m not sure you’re ready for me yet.” Jackson’s voice is hoarse as he makes his way down, spreading my sex and inserting two fingers. Slowly he pulls out and uses his thumb against my clit, drawing a long moan from me. I’m desperate for him. The need crushes me, making it difficult to breathe. Jackson continues to bring me higher and higher.

He flips me onto my back and gazes at me with an intensity so fierce my heart skips a beat. He rolls on a condom and I take a deep breath.

“You have no idea what you do to me, how you make me feel,” Jackson says as his jaw ticks, trying to control some unnamed emotion. “I’m going to take you now. Make you mine.”

My eyes widen and my mouth drops open as he slowly enters me. Bliss—complete and total bliss. I can die a happy woman from this moment on. Nothing has ever felt this good. Every inch of my body is alive as Jackson claims me. I will never recover from him no matter how hard I try. “Oh my God,” I say in a breathy moan.

“Not God, baby, but pretty damn close. Now open those sexy brown eyes and watch me.” His rough voice is strained as he sinks deeper.

“Jackson.” I sigh and try to keep my eyes open, but the pleasure coursing through my body is driving me insane. “More. Please,” I beg, desperate for all of him.

“Just feel me. I want you to feel this moment every time you close your eyes.” He pushes deeper, eliciting a strangled sob from my mouth. “Feel how deep I am inside your pussy. Feel how fucking hard you make me.” He rears back and slams into me. “Feel it, baby.” There’s no way I couldn’t feel it if I tried. He’s everywhere—every sense, every breath, and every heartbeat right now. He owns me.

Jackson reaches between us and applies pressure to my clit, making me cry out and claw at his back. I grate my nails down and he pounds into me harder and faster. We’re both becoming frantic, desperate. Meeting him thrust for thrust, my eyes are locked on his as I cry out and shatter into a thousand pieces. I ride out my orgasm, unintelligibly yelling as Jackson follows with his head buried in my neck.

I rub my hand down his back languidly for a few minutes before he rolls over and heads into the bathroom. I look over at the clock and stretch. What a way to wake up. Jackson walks back over and I take a minute to appreciate the man before me. He oozes sex and confidence and for some reason, he’s attracted to me. Out of all the females he could choose, he wants me? I shake my head as he gets closer to the bed.

“What?” he says, smirking.

I smile and bite my lip, embarrassed for being caught staring at this glorious man yet again. There’s so much more to him than just looks, though. He makes me laugh and compliments me. He consoled me in the car after I got the news about my father. Unlike most men I’ve had in my life, he seems to care about others before himself. He climbs into bed and raises a brow. I sigh. “Nothing. Just thinking.”

“About what?”

“You. Me. Us. I don’t know. Everything.” My heart is pounding as I relay more than I wanted to. It’s like he forces the truth out of me without even doing anything.

“Don’t overthink this. We’ll take things as they come.” He pulls me against his chest and tucks my hair behind my ear. “I want us to spend time together and stop fighting what we feel. I want to kiss you and not feel like I’m doing something wrong. I know we have a lot going on, and the fact that I’m your client complicates things. But we keep it professional at work and when I have you alone”—he drops his voice so it’s low and seductive—“I make no promises.” He rolls us on our sides so we can look at each other.

“I don’t want this to affect my work. When we’re in the client-publicist role, I need you to let me do my job.” I smile and rub my hand across his stubble. “My career matters to me. I need to know you understand that.”

“Do you think my career doesn’t matter to me? I own and run two companies, one of which takes me away for periods of time. Though, I didn’t want the cosmetics company. If it weren’t for Danielle, I would have sold it by now.” His admission takes me back a little. If he didn’t want the company, why does he own it? And why does Danielle matter in that equation?

“I’m not sure I understand.”

“Danielle is a long-time friend of the family. She’s worked extremely hard to make Raven what it is today. She helped run the business when I was tied up with the security company, but her heart is in the lab. She really didn’t want to handle the business end.” He rolls back and puts his hand behind his head. “I entered the Navy when I was twenty-two. I did eight years, saved every penny I made, and invested it well. When—” He pauses and takes a deep breath. “Anyway, I got out of the Navy and invested in the security company. I didn’t know it would do so well.” I lie with my head on his chest and trace the tattoo there. I sense there’s more he’s not telling me about why he got out of the military. I can’t put my finger on it, but I felt him tense when he got to that part.

I rest my hand on his chest and put my chin on it. “Why a security company?”

He smiles at me with a glimmer in his eyes. “I figured that was obvious. I mean, I’m pretty badass. I have to keep this persona.” Jackson grins and taps my nose.

“So humble.” I roll my eyes. I run my hands down his chest and give him a playful smile.

“What?”

“Oh, nothing, Mr. I’m a Navy SEAL who’s charming, endearing, oh, and God’s gift to women.” I smile and remember his bullshit reason to get me to dinner with him. I sit up and pull the sheet around me. “Hey! You made me a bet, Muffin. I want to know my time from that insane course yesterday.”

He pulls the sheet down, exposing my breasts, and rips it farther away when I try to grab it. “Muffin, huh?” He leans up and I try to hold my ground and not back away. “Are you sure you want to call me that?” His one brow raises and his eyes darken. Oh shit. I’m in trouble now.

Mustering my courage, I respond, “I’m pretty sure I already did. Now I want my time!”

Jackson crawls toward me and I scamper backward. I’m smiling, but I know I’m going to pay for this. “Where are you going? You started this game, baby.” I try to scoot back but I’m going to be off the bed in about two seconds.

“You owe me my time and a spa day.”

He smiles and lunges for me. I laugh as he starts to tickle me relentlessly. “Jackson … stop,” I try to say through fits of giggles. “Oh my God … Stop!” He doesn’t let up.

“Will you call me Muffin again?” he asks while I try to catch my breath.

“Yes!”

The mischief is back in his eyes as he begins tickling me again. I squirm and writhe on the bed. He stills suddenly and I realize he’s extremely turned on. I’m gasping for air as he brings his mouth down, stopping right before his perfect lips connect with mine. His eyes crinkle in the corners and I try to kiss him, but he backs away. So not fair! “Wanna rethink your answer?”

Two can play at this game. I raise my arms over my head and stretch. His eyes shift to my breasts and I smile. Good, it’s working. “What if I called you a different muffin?” He doesn’t respond, so I tilt his chin so he’s looking in my eyes. “Jackson?”

“Huh?” The confusion is evident as his gaze shifts back to my exposed body before returning to my face.

I raise my eyebrows at his question.

Seeming to recover, he smirks and leans toward me again. “What kind of muffin are you referring to?”

“Oh, I don’t know …” I sigh dramatically. “You know, there are a lot of muffins. Corn, blueberry, chocolate chip, stud muffin—”

Jackson crushes his mouth against mine, effectively ending the conversation.