Cursed

Chapter 15

Instinct propelled me into action. I sprang to the side, narrowly avoiding the bumper as the car flew past me, kicking up loose gravel. My footing felt off. I toppled backward, sliding down the incline. There was a screech as the car swerved back onto the road and roared down the highway.

I lay there, sprawled in the itchy grass, my heart pounding as I stared up at the cloudy, dark sky. It took several deep breaths to drag air into my lungs.

Numbly, I sat up and checked myself over. My legs curled inward, still working. I climbed to my knees and stood. The car was long gone, but my heart still thundered against my ribs.

I started walking toward the parked cars, reeling from what’d just happened. It could’ve been accident. Kids were drinking. It was dark and they probably hadn’t expected anyone to be walking along the highway.

It couldn’t be that someone had intentionally tried to run me over.

Every part of my body was shaking by the time I rounded the cars and spotted the glow of the bonfire.

I hugged my arms close, but shudders racked my body.

Small clusters of kids hung out around the cars, laughing and having a good time. They were completely oblivious to me stumbling past them, didn’t know what’d happened on the highway.

“Ember!”

I turned at the sound of Hayden’s voice. He came out of the thick shadows surrounding the cornfield, the baseball hat sitting low on his forehead. I stared, unable to respond.

He grasped my arms. “Ember, where’ve you been? I saw you leave with Phoebe, but then she came back without you. Are you okay?”

“She left me in the woods.” My voice was hoarse, shaky. “I got lost.”

His grip tightened. “She did what?”

Suddenly, the whole incident with the car on the road wasn’t important anymore. I remembered what Phoebe had said before she disappeared. I pulled out of Hayden’s grasp. “Where is she? I need to talk to her.”

Hayden grabbed my arm again, stopping me. “What’s going on?”

“She said the car accident wasn’t an accident.” I wish I could read his expression. “I have to talk to her. Hayden, you don’t understand. I have to talk to her!”

He leaned in, the hat casting deep shadows across his cheeks and eyes. “No. We need to talk.”

Dread inched its way down my spine. “You know, don’t you?” My voice had dropped to a whisper.

“Oh, God… you already know.”

Hayden studied me a moment, then his hand slid from my arm. Instead of letting me go, he threaded his fingers through mine. Even through the gloves, I could feel their warmth. “I don’t know how Phoebe knew or why she said it like that.”

I tried to pull my hand free, but his grip tightened. “Hayden…?”

Approaching footsteps and high-pitched laughter cut through the night. Without saying a word, Hayden pulled me toward the spot where we’d parked. “What are we doing?”

“We’re going where we can talk in private.”

I dug in my feet. “I want to talk now.”

Hayden stopped, his hand squeezed my gently. “I know this is important to you, but I don’t want to stand out here in the open and talk about it.” He lowered his voice. “We need to go somewhere private.

Just trust me, Ember. You’re not going to want to be around people… after this.”

“All right,” I whispered, “but I don’t want to go back to the house.”

“Why? It’s the safest place to talk about this.”

I thought about the car. It had been too dark to tell, but it could’ve been one of the Porsches. “I don’t think so.”

Hayden made an exasperated sound. “Okay. There’s another place. We can go to the cabin.”

“How are we going to get there in the middle of the night and still hit curfew?”

“You just need to trust me, Ember.”

I did trust him. And I was probably stupid for doing so, especially when he’d followed me for years and I really didn’t know a lot about him. But it didn’t change that I felt safe around him. We didn’t speak until we got in the car. He took off his hat and tossed it into the backseat.

Hayden ran a hand through his hair, glancing at me and frowning. “What is all over you?” He reached over, picking a crushed leaf off my arm and shoulder. His gaze met mine. “Were you rolling around in the woods? Something you want to tell me?”

“I was lost.” I bit my lip, looking away. It seemed foolish to claim that it’d been on purpose. “I found the road and it was really dark. A car… almost hit me. I dove out of the way.”

He went incredibly still in the seat beside me. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, it just scared me,” I swallowed hard. “I’m fine, though.”

“I’m going to kill Phoebe.”

My lips twitched. “Not before I do. Please?”

Hayden didn’t respond. We drove in silence, his hands clenching the steering wheel until his knuckles turned a ghostly white. I stared out the window, unable to quell the storm building inside me. I knew, beyond a doubt, that tonight would change everything.

We made it back to the house with time to spare. Cromwell had been waiting up, and I thought he looked seriously disappointed when he realized he couldn’t bust us for being late. It took everything in my power not to rush him and demand answers, but I’d promised Hayden that I’d let him explain before I went to Cromwell.

Like Hayden had instructed in the car, I went straight to my bedroom and changed into heavy sweats and a hoodie. I put the boots back on even though I looked like a hot mess, but I figured the walk would be a cold one.

My stomach twisted and churned the entire time I waited for him. That wasn’t an accident . Those words cut through me. I couldn’t sit still and when I stood, dizziness and nausea swamped me. In the midst of all of this, Kurt’s words came back to haunt me, as if he’d known something would happen that would irrevocably change everything. Don’t do anything you’ll regret.

Had he been the one driving the car?

As soon as that thought surfaced, I felt cold. There was no way to know whether it had been an accident or if someone had tried to run me down. And right now, I couldn’t focus on that—not when I was about to find out if the accident that’d killed my father and me hadn’t been an accident.

About an hour later, Hayden knocked softly on my door and I slipped the gloves back on. We snuck out of the silent house. Walking to the cabin in the dead of night wasn’t my idea of fun. Every snapping twig or moving shadow caused my heart to race.

“This is so creepy.” I scanned the surrounding dark for danger.

He grabbed my hand with his free one, giving it a little squeeze as the beam from his flashlight bounced over the terrain ahead. “Come on.”

I did feel better with his hand wrapped around mine. About halfway there, something crashed through the bushes behind us, and my hand clenched his. “What was that?”

“Just a deer.” By the time we arrived at the cabin, I’d about had five heart attacks and was already dreading the walk back. I waited by the table while Hayden drew the blinds closed and lit a few candles.

Soft color glowed through the room.

Hayden slid past me, the scent of soap and fresh air momentarily enveloping me. I watched as he sat down on the edge of the bed. The cabin idea had been great back at the bonfire, but now I seriously wanted to kick myself.

What the hell had I been thinking? Sneaking out with Hayden and holing up in a cozy, little love-

cabin? The spontaneous part of my brain spewed out all kinds of images, none of them even remotely possible in reality. He wouldn’t have brought me out here for something like that. We couldn’t even touch.

But we could, right? For a few seconds, maybe even more. I shook my head to get rid of the image that popped up.

“Ember, are you all right?”

Summoning up my common sense and purpose, I pulled off my gloves and dropped them on the back of the couch. Even though my hormones had totally picked a bizarre time to come alive, I wasn’t here to drool over Hayden. “Tell me what you know,” I said.

“The accident wasn’t an accident, Ember.”

My heart jerked. I tried to say something, but nothing would come out.

“You weren’t supposed to know. My father thought it would be best if you didn’t. No one wanted you to worry, to be scared. He thought it would be the best thing, but now…”

“What happened to my dad, to me? None of it was an accident?”

“All that we know tells us it was on purpose.”

I lost it. “You knew this! Didn’t you think I had a right to know?” My whole body tensed with emotions I couldn’t even begin to name. “Someone killed my father? Killed me? And none of you thought you should tell me?”

Hayden shook his head. “You already had so much pain, I—we wanted to protect you.”

“You don’t know what’s best for me, Hayden!” I paced to the side of the bed and stopped in front of him. “I can take care of myself.”

He looked away. “What good does knowing do you, Ember? Doesn’t it make it all the more painful?

Does it change anything for you?”

“It changes everything!” I shouted. I was close to tears, close to breaking down. “Do you know who did this—did you have something to do with it?” As soon as the words left my mouth I wanted to take them back. The idea of living with my dad’s murderers—my own murderers—was too much to consider.

I kicked the edge of the bed, but that didn’t help. I threw myself at Hayden.

He must have expected it, because he caught me around the waist and flipped me onto the bed in one fluid motion. I reared up, catching him in the stomach with my elbow before he pushed my shoulders, pinning me down.

“Stop.” He made a low sound in his throat as I continued to struggle. “We had nothing to do with it, Ember. My father is not about killing innocent people or taking children away from their parents. I know you don’t trust him, but you trust me. I know you do.”

I drew in several deep breaths and stilled under him.

“Ember?” he asked softly.

“If it wasn’t your father, then who was it?”

His hands flexed on my shoulders, again and again. “We don’t know. My father even went to the Facility to see if they had any ideas, but even with all their means of finding out things, they had no answers.”

My hands curled helplessly at my sides. “Then how do you know it wasn’t an accident?”

“We didn’t. Not until we brought you guys here.” He took another deep, steadying breath and tried to smile. “Liz has a unique gift. She can sense when a gifted is born—down to the exact location and time.

But my father doesn’t just swoop in and intervene. He checks it out first, and if things aren’t right, then he tries to help out.”

“I don’t get it.”

Hayden eased off me and sat. “We always knew about Olivia, because Liz sensed her. But then, two years ago, Liz felt a new gifted being born in the same location as Olivia, except she said it felt ‘off.’ She couldn’t place what it was. Of course, that made my father curious, so he wanted to check it out. Kurt and I went along.”

I made my way to the top of the bed and pulled my legs to my chin.

Hayden turned to face me. “The directions Liz gave us were to the exact intersection of the accident.

We knew right off that something was very different with this. We hung around a few days. Then we saw a newspaper article about the accident that… killed a local doctor, and how one of the passengers had miraculously survived. The article listed the intersection Liz sensed. It got us curious, and we started watching, but we only ever saw you, then Olivia.”

“Never Mom.” I remembered how despondent she’d been. Mom had gone home, locked herself in the bedroom with Olivia, and shut me out. The last thing she’d ever said to me had been in the car, right before the accident.

“It took us a while to figure out what happened, that you were what Liz sensed. But my father thought that since your Mom was alive, we shouldn’t step in. It was the day you went to the bank that I knew something wasn’t right.”

I blinked. “You guys didn’t realize my mom…wasn’t right until then?”

“You’ve heard Kurt say it.” He looked away then, his eyes downcast. “I kept checking in, even though they’d stopped. I knew something wasn’t right, and when I told my father how you’d acted afterwards, he asked around.”

And the rest was history, but it didn’t answer one thing. “How do you know the accident wasn’t… wasn’t an accident?”

Hayden pushed off the bed and came around to where I was huddled. He placed his hands on each side of my legs. Candlelight danced across his features, softening his mouth. “After I drained your powers, Kurt found your mom. That was what he was trying to do when you came home. Once he saw her, he knew what’d happened.”

Dread from earlier resurfaced, and suddenly, I wasn’t too sure if I wanted to hear this.

“Your mom had been wiped, Ember. It had to have happened right after the accident, and it was a really bad job. It damaged her mind, destroyed her ability to process things properly. Kurt thinks whoever did it was interrupted, because she remembers Olivia, but she thinks you’ve… passed away.”

And then it hit me. The day Adam had been wiped, the blank stare he’d given me—why it’d been so heartbreakingly familiar. The look had felt like a punch in the gut, only worse. Numbness settled over me.

“Ember, I’m sorry.”

I scooted across the bed, but Hayden followed. “No.” I held up my hand, holding him off. My whole arm shook. “I need a moment.”

Hayden backed off, but I felt his gaze on me.

“Can it be undone? Can my mom get her memories back? Can someone… fix her?”

“No.”

“Of course not,” I whispered. My mind continued to spin, slow to process any of this. My dad was dead. Mom had been wiped. I was one giant freak. And all because of Olivia’s gift?

Rage, hot and sweet, swept over me. For a moment—just a moment—I hated Olivia, hated her for something so beyond her control. Guilt was immediate, but it didn’t dull the raw hurting. Or stop the rush of relief from washing over me.

My trembling hands moved through my curls, pulling them back. “I always thought she hated me, blamed me for the accident. And I’d hated her for it—hated that she pretended I was dead when I needed her. This whole time she couldn’t help it. Why didn’t you all tell me?”

Hayden rocked off his heels and sat down beside me, shoulder against shoulder, leg against leg. A muscle ticked in his jaw. “There isn’t a good enough reason for not telling you.”

The sound that came out of me sounded strangled. “Why? All of this because of what Olivia can do?”

My hands fell to my lap and I stared at them. “They ripped my family apart. And for what? A gift—a gift that turns people into the Grim Reaper?”

He grasped my wrists and brought my hands to his chest, to where his heart beat under his sweater.

“None of this is your fault, or Olivia’s. There was no way you could know what had been done to your mom.”

Another thought struck me. Pure ice flowed through me. “Do—do you think they wanted me dead, too?

And Mom? What—what if they still want us dead? The stuff with the locker—”

“No. Don’t even think that,” he said.

My eyes met his for a beat, and I pulled back. “Kurt can wipe memories. How many others are like that out there?”

“There’s no way of knowing how many share the same sort of gifts. We have a general idea how many gifteds have been born in the last few years, thanks to Liz’ gift, but we don’t know what they can do unless we investigate them.”

I took a deep breath, but the air felt like it got stuck in my lungs. I flopped down on my back and stared up at the shadowy ceiling. “Do you think whoever was behind the accident may be behind the stuff in my lockers?”

“I don’t know what to think.” He looked away for a moment. “But I don’t believe in coincidences.”

I ran my hands over my face. If I’d learned anything in the last two years, I’d learned I couldn’t change the past. I only had the future, no matter how craptastic it might seem.

“Are you dealing… with this?” His voice was so soft that I almost thought I’d imagined it.

I peeked through my hands. “I really don’t know. I didn’t think it possible to feel all of this at once.

I’m torn up about my mom, but relieved that she doesn’t hate me. I’m mad at Olivia, and it isn’t even her fault. I’m pissed off, and I’m scared that whoever was behind the accident—the crash, they may—oh, God, they could still want Olivia.”

Hayden shifted onto his side and pulled my hands back to his chest. “I’m not going to let anything happen. You don’t have to worry about that.”

I looked at him. Every cell in his body seemed perfectly controlled, and yet, there appeared a shadow of uncertainty in his eyes. “No more secrets. Promise me.”

“No more secrets.”

Silence surrounded us, and in the darkness, a determination sparked alive. “I want to find out who killed my dad.” Fire burned in my stomach.

“I know.”

“And Kurt is the likeliest bet. You know that.”

“I don’t know what to believe. I’ve known him for years, Ember. And if it was him, then why? Why would he want Olivia?” Hayden asked. “He’s been my father’s partner a long time. He knows how hard it is for the gifted. It just wouldn’t make sense.”

“I don’t know, but what about the stuff in my locker? It has to be… one of them.”

He didn’t answer. Instead, he eased himself down on his back, keeping a safe distance between us.

Even after everything I’d learned tonight, my heart still pumped way too fast.

“We should head back soon,” I said.

“We should.”

But we didn’t.

We talked—well, argued—about Kurt and his father. “We’re never going to agree on this.”

Hayden snorted. “And I still think we need to go to my father. This could—what’s this?” He sat up, grabbing something small off the bed.

I had to lean forward to see what he held. Something small and round rested in his palm. Instinctively, I knew it was the coin. “Oh. It must have fallen out of my pocket.”

He peered up through his lashes. “I can’t make out what’s on it.”

“Nothing’s really on it,” I said, wishing I could take it out of his palm. “Can I have it back?” I held out my hand.

“Sure, but why do you have a coin in your pocket? I can tell it’s not a normal one.”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s kind of like a good luck charm.”

Hayden dropped it back in my hand. I could hear the smile in his voice. “Then you don’t want to lose it.”

“No.” I put it back in my pocket and hoped it stayed there.

After that, we lapsed into silence for a while. Then I heard the soft, even breaths signaling that Hayden had fallen sleep. I envied him. My mind didn’t want to shut down. At some point, I rolled onto my side and rose up on my elbow. I don’t know what provoked me, but I studied him. I noticed things I hadn’t before, like how thick his lashes were and how his brows seemed to have a natural arch in the middle.

My fingers itched to draw the curve of his cheek, the line of his jaw. My gaze drifted down, over his parted lips, then further. His hands rested over his flat stomach. I found it strange that those long, elegant fingers held the power to hurt me.

Inspecting my own hands, I wandered if he ever looked at mine and thought the same thing. Though, my fingers weren’t nearly as elegant as his. They always seemed stained with pencil marks, sometimes charcoal.

And my fingers killed—all because of Olivia’s gift, all because someone had wanted her gift.

Slowly, I curled onto my side and watched the soft rise and fall of Hayden’s chest until my eyes drifted shut. I fell into a deep sleep, the kind dreams couldn’t even penetrate.

Mom looked different to me now—the thick locks of red hair didn’t seem so dull, her face not so pale.

Even the way she hummed didn’t bother me like it used to.

I placed a mug of hot tea on the stand next to where she sat and backed off a step or two.

“Mom, I understand.”

She continued to rock slowly.

“I know we fought a lot before the accident, but I always loved you. Did you know that? I probably didn’t act like I did. I was just so stupid, and I wish you could really hear me now. I’m sorry for how I acted. I’m sorry for picking seafood that night, and… and I’m sorry for hating you this whole time.”

I stopped and closed my eyes. The need to wait for a response evaporated in the silence between us.

During the walk back to the house this morning, Hayden had explained that mind-wiping had to be done with a certain amount of finesse. “Like a fine art,” he’d said. Done wrong, the consequences were terrible and the damage was almost always permanent.

Anger and a sense of helplessness rose. Mom hadn’t deserved this. My nails dug into my palms.

“I know what happened to you.” I said. “I know there’s nothing we can do to change it, but I’m gonna make it right somehow. When I find out who did this, I’m gonna make them pay for this. I’ll—” Floorboards in the hallway creaked once, then twice. I whirled to the door, clamping my mouth shut.

Crossing the distance, I peered out into the empty hallway. Not knowing if someone had overheard what I’d said, I pushed back from the door and turned toward Mom. My heart stopped.

She looked straight at me, her eyes unnaturally wide, the green hue surprisingly bright.

“Mom?”

Then I realized she wasn’t looking at me, but behind me—toward the door, like she’d also heard someone in the hallway.