Give Me Tonight

10

As SHE SENSED LEAH'S UNEASINESS, ADDIE RELEASED her hand and bent down to the child. "Why don't you go and sit in the buggy?"

"The Johnsons are bad, Aunt Adeline-"

"Hush," Addie said swiftly. "Everything's just fine, Leah."

"I'll go get Cade-"

"No. Go wait in the buggy. I won't be long."

Something in Addie's voice was hard, and her face had gone cold. Leah wasn't the cause of it, but she was too young to understand. She looked at Addie and Jeff with a touch of fear and went slowly to the buggy. Straightening up, Addie met Jeff's eyes and lifted her chin.

"The Johnsons are bad?" he repeated, amused. "What would you say about someone who hired people to tear down another man's property and attack his employees?"

"That was just a warnin'. I guess Russell knows now what's gonna happen if he doesn't want to share his water rights. 'Specially when we offered to pay for the privilege-"

"He's let you share the water for years, at no charge. He finally had to stop when you started siphoning off his cattle and pushing your boundaries deeper into his property. "

"I don't care to talk about him."

"Then say whatever you need to, and leave me as quickly as possible. I didn't come to town alone, and there'll be trouble if we're seen together."

He looked at her without blinking, puzzled by her sharpness. "How've you been, Adeline?"

She was in no mood for small talk. "What do you want?"

"You." Once it might have been a teasing suggestion. But there was no lightness in his voice, no smile in his eyes. "Won't be long, Adeline."

She understood immediately what he meant. He was going to carry out the plans they had made, and he would destroy everything she loved, everything she wanted. Everything she had once been indifferent to. She was terrified as she stood there and looked at him. How could she have thought she wanted him? How could she have helped him plan her own downfall?

The steadiness of her own voice surprised her. "Jeff, things have changed since I last saw you."

"What things?"

"Everything I felt for you. Everything I said to you was a lie. I never loved you. "

"Adeline, what the hell…" He lifted a hand to touch her elbow, and she jerked away from him.

"Don't ever touch me. I don't want you. I don't want any part of you. "

At first he was too stunned to be angry. "You don't mean that. What's happened. Is it what happened at the Fanins'? I was just a little drunk, honey. All men have a little too much once in a while-"

"No, it has nothing to do with that. Listen to what I'm saying. You and I won't ever be together. Forget about the plans you made about me and my father." She paused and tried to swallow back the lump in her throat. "I don't want him hurt. I swear, whatever you do to him will be done to you, only worse. I'll make sure of it.”

"Jesus Christ! What are you sayin'? Have you told him anything?" Jeff took a step forward as if to shake her, then looked around and realized they were drawing a few stares. He flushed a dull red as he stared at her. "No, you haven't told anyone," he muttered. "You wouldn't risk him findin' out what you've done. And you won't say anything, 'cause you care too much for your own neck, and it's easier to sit back and let it happen. You know your father's diggin' his own grave anyway. He doesn't need much of a push. Why the last-minute change of mind? Jitters? It doesn't matter. I don't always understand you, Adeline, but I know what you really are. I know more about you than anyone, and I want you. And that's how you feel about me."

Her lips trembled as she held back the threats that flew through her mind. All of them sounded ridiculous, futile. If only she could remember the name of the man the Johnsons had hired. Whose name had she given them? Remember, she cried inside, and all she found was a thick wall, impossible to break through. Remember!

"I… I'll tell everything," she said, trying to hide her desperation. "I can ruin you and your family, and I will if you force me to."

"You won't," Jeff said with growing conviction, and the urge to swing out and strike him was nearly irresistible.

"I hate you," she whispered.

"Yeah. An' a few other things." He took her arm firmly, staring down at her with a half-formed smile.

"I told you not to touch me."

"Let's not talk about it in the middle of the street. I know a comer somewhere around here."

Addie wrenched her arm away and turned toward the buggy just in time to catch a glimpse of approaching disaster. Before she could make a sound, she felt the rush of air as Ben lunged past her and plowed into Jeff so hard they both tumbled into the street. They were like two young animals, fighting and snarling, rolling across the dusty ground. Stupefied, Addie watched as people came running from every direction, cussing and exclaiming, forming a loosely packed crowd around the two men. All of a sudden the noise was deafening. Taking a step backward, she spun around as someone bumped against her shoulder. Cade was right behind her, reaching out to steady her.

"Adeline, I couldn't stop him. He took one look at the two of you and went crazy."

"Leah," she gasped, looking wildly toward the buggy. It was empty.

"I'll find her. Stay here." Cade dashed off through the thickening crowd on the wooden sidewalk. Stumbling to the edge of the circle around Ben and Jeff, she fought to see them.

"Ben," she cried, but her voice was drowned in the cheers and shouts. "Ben!"

It didn't take long for the crowd to become violent. Since it was perceived as a fight between the Double Bar and Sunrise, sides were quickly chosen. You were either for or against Russell Warner, and there were very few undecideds. Retreating to the sidewalk, Addie was dumbstruck as the street erupted in a burst of flying fists and piercing yells.

"Bunch of idiots," Cade muttered in her ear, and she turned with a start to see him sidling up close to her with Leah tucked against his side. "They've all been itchin' for a chance to fight about the fence."

"It's not about that, it's about…"

"You?" Cade smiled a little. "Between Ben and Jeff, it's you. Between the rest of 'em, that damn fence."

"You feel like I do about it?"

"We need it," he said gravely. "We're too big and clumsy an outfit to get along without it. But that doesn't keep me from hatin' it just as much as you do."

Addie glanced down at Leah, who had twisted around to watch the fighting with wide eyes. "Did Leah go and get you?" she asked, and Cade shook his head.

"Ben and I just walked out of the sheriff's office, and there you were with Jeff." He grinned. "Ben said a coupla new swear words I'm still tryin' to figger out, and went after Jeff lickety-split."

"Where is the sheriff?" Addie demanded furiously, terrified that Ben would be hurt, might already be hurt, and then the sound of gunshots seemed to puncture her eardrums. Leah flinched and pressed close to her. The sound was repeated, and some of the men broke apart like scalded cats. Sam Dary, the sheriff, was a heavyset man with a definite swagger. He lowered his gun and walked through the crowd, hollering loudly. A small clearing formed in the middle of the street, where Ben and Jeff had been pried apart. It took several men to keep them separated, and they eyed each other with murderous intent, panting for breath.

"Easy, easy… simmer down. You two boys know better than to start somethin' like this when tempers are already runnin' high." Dary said weightily, his face red and perspiring. "An' it don't matter who started it, 'cause I happen to know you both been itchin' for this a mighty long time. Now it's over, an' you got it through with. Let's just go on, now, an' start thinkin' on better things to do than git everyone stirred up in sech a way. It's too damn hot to fight. Shake on it and make it a bygone, boys."

"Shake hands with him? " Jeff demanded in amazement, and Ben sneered.

"If you think I'm about to-"

"That's enough," the sheriff said. Slowly the restraining hands relaxed as everyone realized the fight was good and over. Dary braced his hands on his hips, seeming to feel the need to establish his authority. "I'm still waitin' fer you t' shake."

"We've stopped fighting," Ben said, breaking the frosty silence. "Isn't that good enough?"

Addie was weak with relief as the sheriff nodded reluctantly and the men walked away from each other. Leaving Leah with Cade, she made her way to the street, needing to see for herself that Ben was all right. Anxiously she pushed past the people standing in her path, her eyes fastened on the tall figure several feet away. Moving through the crowd, ignoring the multitude of hands patting him on the back, Ben seemed not to notice her until she reached him.

She summoned a smile with difficulty. "There was no need to start the whole town brawling, was there?"

He dragged a sleeve across his eyes to clear the sweat and dust from them. "I told him once what would happen if he laid a finger on you."

"Are you hurt?"

"No. Hell, he's as soft as the rest of the Johnsons."

Disgust crossed his face. "No wonder they have to hire someone else to do their fence-cutting. They don't have the spine or the strength to do it themselves."

"Soft or not, he managed to do some damage," Addie said, looking at his bruised face. She ducked her head to hide a sudden wave of emotion. "Come on. We'll take you home in the buggy."

"Look at me." His tone was so commanding that she obeyed without thinking. Their eyes met, hers wide with bewilderment, his gleaming with a bright, hot light. Deliberately he held her jaw with one hand and bent his head to hers, kissing her lustily. Shocked gasps and a few whistles came from the crowd, but Addie was too surprised to pull away. Her nostrils were filled with the scent of sweat and dirt, and she tasted blood as her head was forced to his shoulder by the pressure of his kiss. Dizzily she leaned against him, her heart thundering.

She went weak allover, sinking into a well of fire. The only thing she was conscious of was his mouth on hers, his lips burning, demanding, sweet. When he lifted his head, she stared at him blankly, unable to make a sound. The whole town. He'd kissed her like that in front of the whole town.

"Consider that our engagement announcement," Ben said, and gestured for Cade, who was grinning widely, to follow them to the buggy.

May was livid when she heard what had happened, so angry that even Russell took care to walk softly around her.

"Do you understand the position he's put her in?" May demanded, striding back and forth across the parlor. Ben braced an elbow on the mantel over the fireplace and watched her expressionlessly, while Russell and Addie sat by each other on the sofa, not daring to make a peep. Russell was smoking like a chimney, occasionally glancing at Addie over the end of his cigar with a subdued twinkle in his eye.

"Fighting over her in the street," May continued, her voice raising in pitch, "as if she were some prize and then… and then…"

They all knew the and then referred to the public kiss afterward, an incident fast becoming infamous as the town gossips chewed over the story. Ben lowered his head guiltily in a way that made Addie want to laugh. She knew very well it was an act for May's benefit. Ben didn't feel one ounce of remorse for what he'd done.

May pressed her palms to her temples as if to calm a raging headache. "My daughter's reputation is ruined. Ruined."

"Mama, no one took it seriously," Addie broke in. "It was just an impulse. Everyone was all stirred up and emotional. It was just the heat of the moment." She ignored the sideways glance that Ben sent her, knowing there was a diabolic sparkle in his eyes. There had been ever since that afternoon. "I'm sure he didn't mean to do it. It just… happened."

"He should have controlled his impulse," May said, giving Ben a hard stare, and he nodded respectfully.

"Yes, ma'am."

"And I suspect, Ben Hunter, that you knew exactly what you were doing." She cut him off as he opened his mouth to reply. "Don't try to charm your way out of this. Everyone in this room knows you saw this afternoon as a convenient shortcut to having your way, and you didn't hesitate to take advantage of it. Well, I don't have to pretend I approve of your methods of getting what you want. It was ruthless and inconsiderate to gamble with Adeline's reputation as you did today, and I hope for her sake you don't make a habit of it."

"I don't intend to," Ben said evenly, and Addie realized that suddenly he was not amused anymore. He was taking May's words seriously, listening to her with a remarkable absence of mockery. He'd always been respectful to May, but Addie would never have guessed he would allow her mother to lecture him like this.

"I'm her mother," May continued. "I have a right to speak my piece, and it's your obligation to listen. There's nothing I can do to stand in your way, and I don't intend to fight the three of you any longer. The important thing is, Adeline thinks you're going to make her happy. I suppose you think that too. But you won't if you continue to treat her with so little consideration. She is not to be made a public spectacle, ever again. She is to be treated with gentleness and respect. Her welfare should be considered first, above your own needs. "

As Addie heard May's admonition, she looked down at her hands, her cheeks burning. It was terribly disconcerting to hear herself being discussed as if she weren't even there. She wanted to interrupt, but there was nothing she could say on her own behalf, or Ben's. Only Ben could calm May's anxiety.

"Her happiness, not to mention her welfare, is my foremost concern," he said. As she saw his steely expression, not even May could doubt what he said. "That's why I want her as my wife."

"You know my objections to a marriage between the two of you," May snapped. "You know I didn't approve of the idea. And so you put us all into an intolerable situation. It's impossible for me to refuse your marriage now. In fact I have to insist on it."

Ben's eyes gleamed with satisfaction. "I'll make her happy."

"You haven't even bothered to apologize for your behavior."

"I apologize for that. But with all due respect, not for the result."

Sensing the grudging apology was all she was going to get from him, May switched her glare from Ben to Russell. "You haven't said one word during all of this."

Russell assumed an authoritative glower, standing up and motioning to Ben. "I'm gonna have a man-to-man talk with him. Just because he's gonna marry my daughter doesn't mean he c'n get out of a good dressin’-down when he deserves one. C'mon, Ben-into my office. "

"Yes, for a drink and cigar and a good slap on the back," May said acidly.

Addie couldn't help snickering.

There was a definite tinge of whiskey on Ben's breath when he came out of Russell's office. He smiled at Addie as he saw her outside the door, and followed her silently as she pulled him out to the front porch for a few minutes of privacy. His color was high from strong drink and a sense of well-being.

"Poor thing," she said. "I can tell he ran roughshod over you."

Ben smiled, settling his worn felt hat on the porch rail. "He said it was the happiest day of his life."

"I'm glad someone feels that way," she said pertly.

"I would've stayed in bed this morning if I'd known what today was going to be like."

He flexed his shoulders and winced. "I feel like I've been through a cattle stampede."

"How dare you complain? You're to blame for everything that happened. First the fight, then the kiss-"

"Please, darlin', I listened to a good hour of that from your mother."

"Than what should I say? You took your punishment like a man. Bravo."

"You're pretty feisty tonight," he observed, walking leisurely to the edge of the porch and bracing his hand on the railing. "Hey, Watts," he called into the darkness, and the cowboy who was patrolling the area answered softly.

"Yeah, Ben?"

"Why don't you do a little checking around back for a couple of minutes?"

There was the sound of a smothered chuckle. "I was just plannin' on doin' that."

"Get a move on."

Addie squinted through the shadows, her head turning to follow Watts's movement around the side of the house. She caught only a glimpse of his stocky shape. When the sound of his feet had died away, she looked at Ben with a mild frown, remembering the night when Watts had cried drunkenly on Ben's shoulder after finding out his sister was a prostitute.

"Is his sister still working in that dance hall?" she asked, and Ben shrugged.

"Far as I know."

"You were going to offer him money to get her out of there."

"I couldn't get him to take it."

"Too proud?" she mused out loud. "What about offering him more work and paying him extra-"

"I've already tried that, and no, he doesn't want to work more. I think everyone's reconciled to what his sister is, honey. Now, stop trying to fix everyone else's problems and start worrying about me for a change. "

"Worrying about you is all I've been doing lately!"

Addie put her hands on her hips as Ben sauntered over to her. She'd been through a terrible day, all because of him, and a little accounting was in order. "Stop right there." He paused a few feet away, his eyebrow arched in inquiry. "I have no intention of letting you near me, Ben Hunter. You've been awful to me all week. Rude, bad-tempered… you've ignored and insulted me-"

"I've gone through hell. I've wanted you so damn badly I couldn't see straight, and I've had enough work and worry to make a saint cuss."

"And you think I've had it easier? How do you think I felt when I saw you and Jeff fighting in the middle of the street like a bear and a bull? It didn't accomplish anything except to make matters worse between us and the Johnsons."

Ben scowled, his playful mood vanishing. "I couldn't help it. When I saw him looking down at you like that-Jesus, you'd think you were the only woman in Texas, the way he looked at you-and when he touched you-"

"For heaven's sake, he wasn't exactly going to ravish me in the street! The whole town was there."

"He was acting as if he owned you," Ben said moodily, folding his arms across his chest and shifting his weight to one leg, the other propped out in a masculine stance. "He damn sure seems to feel he has a claim on you, Addie. Why is that?" There was a flicker of jealousy in his eyes.

"What are you asking?"

"Just how far did you go with him?"

She was amazed at his bluntness. "When he and I were courting?"

"Yes."

"Oh, for heaven's… you don't really expect me to answer that."

No reply. He stared at her obstinately.

"You do," she said slowly. "After all you and I… Oh, I'd never have expected this from you! How far do you think I went with him? You know you're the first and only man I've ever made love with. Isn't that enough to satisfy your precious ego? It's just too bad if it isn't, because I'm not about to tell you the intimate details of my relationships with any other men not unless you're prepared to tell me what you've done with other women!"

"It's not the same."

"Not…" Addie started to repeat, and stopped in aston-ishment. Sometimes she forgot that although Ben was less chauvinistic than most men around here, he still had his moments. Suddenly she wanted to laugh. "Why isn't it the same?" she demanded. "If you have a right to know about my past experience, then I have a right to know about yours."

"We're not equally accountable for such things. A man is supposed to have experience. And a woman-"

"Is supposed to be ignorant? Pardon me-I forgot there was one set of rules for you and another for me."

"I'm not talking about rules-"

"Aren't you? You're supposed to be experienced and I'm not. Well, I was perfectly happy for you to be my first. But don't you think I would've liked to be your first too?"

Ben looked startled, as if the idea had never occurred to him before. "You have the damnedest way of twisting things around."

"Sometimes I have to. You're not always fair to me."

One corner of his mouth turned down, and he swore under his breath. "Look, I'm sorry I started this. I don't know why I asked you about that jackass. I just can't stand the thought of you being close to him."

"I can't change the fact that I used to care for him. But I never came close to feeling about him the way I do about you. You know that."

He shrugged, glaring at the floor.

Addie sighed. "Well, let me tell you something. I hate thinking of you with other women. I wish I could erase them from your memory. I wish you'd never been with anyone but me. But there's nothing I can do to change that, is there? Don't you see how pointless it is to fret about such things you have no control over?"

Ben looked up at her, his green eyes vivid in the darkness. He walked to her with measured paces, moving forward until she was forced to back up against the wall of the house. When there was no space left between her spine and the wall, he braced his arms on either side of her head. She turned her face away from his as she felt the crush of his body against hers, the touch of his breath against her cheek. God help her, she could never stay angry with him for long.

"I never said I'd be easy to get along with," he said. "You didn't have to say it. I knew you wouldn't be. "

He closed his eyes and kissed the wave of hair that had fallen over her temple, his mouth brushing against the soft skin just underneath her eye. Then his lips traced the line of her eyebrow, and she felt the touch of his tongue at the sleek point of it. She lifted her chin, seeking his mouth, and sighed a little as he kissed her with slow intensity. Silently they pressed closer to each other, clinging fiercely, hungering, prolonging the kiss until Ben made an uncomfortable sound and raised his head.

"I won't be able to stop," he said, breathing hard.

"Ben, when are we going to be able to-"

"I wish I knew." He looked pained. "I can't visit you tonight. No one's going to sleep well tonight after the trouble this afternoon."

"What's going to happen between us and the Johnsons?" she whispered, burrowing deeper into his embrace. "I hate it that things have gone this far."

"We'll have to take things as they come. I won't let my temper get out of hand again. It'll be easier now that our engagement is out in the open."

"You have so many responsibilities. I wish I could make things easier for you. "

"I'll be fine." He groaned and rested his chin on the top of her head. "If only I didn't want you so much. I can't even look at you across the table without feeling this happen." He pulled her loins tighter into his, and she pressed her hot face into his neck, her heart racing.

"It's just as difficult for me."

"It's different for men, honey. Believe me."

"I'm sorry," she whispered with a smile.

"Addie!" came May's voice from inside the house, a signal they'd spent too much time alone on the porch.

"I'll be right in, Mama." Addie shifted away from Ben, knowing she had to leave him. She missed the warmth of his body as soon as they parted. In a sudden movement she reached out and pulled herself against him, her grip feverishly tight. "I can't let go of you."

“Addie, " he muttered, crushing her against his chest. She clung to him and welcomed the pain of it, needing to know that the violence of his love matched hers. "I want you every minute. I miss being with you. I want to hold you for hours." He bit her earlobe carefully and then buried his face in her hair. "One more kiss. And then go in the house."

Shivering, she offered her lips to him, and though the kiss started out tender, it ended in rough eagerness.

"Now, go," he said, though his heart was hungry for a few more minutes with her.

"Don't be distant with me tomorrow," she whispered. "When other people are around, you never look at me as if you love me."

"You wouldn't let me before. Remember? It wasn't my idea to keep our relationship a secret."

"I was uncertain about how I felt," she admitted. "Weren't you?"

"Never. I've known for a long time how I feel about you."

She felt overwhelmed by the knowledge of his love for her. It wasn't difficult to remember the days when she'd had no one but Leah. She remembered the rainy night when even Leah had been taken away from her. Now she had more than she'd ever dreamed of.

But like a shadow, the memories of Adeline crept through her mind, dark and indistinct, inescapable. For the rest of her life she would have that part of herself to contend with, and deep in the back of her mind there would always be an awareness of what she had once been. What had happened to make her that way? How could a daughter plot against her own father?

Suddenly she heard the echo of something Caroline had once said to her. "For a while I thought Daddy had finally done it-spoiled you rotten to the core."

That's what I was, Addie thought with shame and despair. Rotten to the core. Oh, was there any way of making up for what she'd done? Guilt was a tangible pain in her chest.

"I don't deserve you," she said, and Ben's mouth twisted.

"Why in hell would you say that?"

"I've done terrible things in the past. Things I can never tell you about. I'm not half as good or kind as I should be, and-"

"I never expected you to be some plaster saint, Addie. And as for not deserving me, of all people… " He paused and grinned. "Let's just say it's more likely you do deserve me. It's possible I'm the punishment for your sins, and marriage to me will be your penance. Have you ever thought of that? Now, give me one more kiss and leave, or I won't be able to let you go."

Halfway irritated at his cavalier attitude toward her guilty conscience, she offered her cheek to him instead of her lips. Why, she'd been trying to unburden herself to him, and he was downright flippant about her worries!

Ben laughed softly as he lowered his mouth to her cheek and pressed a kiss there. "Why the sudden change in temperature? You were warm enough a minute ago."

"I was trying to tell you about my faults, and you just-"

"I don't care about your faults. The ones I already know about don't matter, and I'll discover the rest soon enough."

"I'm trying to warn you-"

"That you're not what you seem on the surface?"

He smiled and settled his hands at her waist, pulling her closer. "I know that, and a few other things as well. You like to misbehave sometimes… ah, that may be a fault of yours, Addie, but I happen to like it very much. And another one-in bed you're one of the greediest women I've ever known-"

"Ben!" she exclaimed, color flooding her face. "-but I happen to like that too. You have other faults which I enjoy equally. Should I continue or have I made my point?"

Addie pushed hard at his chest in an effort to break his hold on her. "You're being crude and-"

"Addie!" They heard May calling again, this time more insistent than before. "It's time to come in right now."

"You heard her," Addie said impatiently. "Now, take your hands off me or we'll both get in trouble."

He grinned and kissed the tip of her nose. "That's a far cry from 'I can't let go of you.'" And he watched her with glowing eyes as she went into the house.

The next day Adeline discovered Diaz had left the ranch, despite his promise to talk to her before he went. No one could understand why she was so upset by his disappearance. When she started to complain to Ben as he strode out of Russell's office in the afternoon, he shrugged off Diaz's departure matter-of-factly.

"Most cowhands have to pick up and leave when they start to feel too settled-in. They're independent in a crazy way. They like to look out at the world from their saddles. The men out here can't stand any way of life that seems too civilized. They like things rough. They like their independence."

"What about you?" Addie demanded. "Are you going to pick up and leave when you start to feel shackled by a string of fences and a wedding band?"

"No, ma'am," he assured her promptly, his eyes twinkling. "I'm not your typical cowhand."

Her eyes made a pointed survey of his dirt-encrusted boots, worn-out Levi's, and blue cotton shirt. "You look pretty typical to me. How can I be sure you won't start to feel too settled-in and leave me?"

"Because I'm ready to belong somewhere. And I'd choose sleeping with you over bedding down on the trail any day of the week."

"Are you certain having a wife and a family of your own isn't too civilized for your taste?"

"Oh, I've always had a secret hankering for respectability. And I won't mind being thought of as a family man. Hell, Russ doesn't mind it."

"Yes, but he… " Addie bit her lip before blurting out that Russell wasn't quite the family man he seemed. Russell didn't share a bedroom with May, and in all likelihood he had a woman on the side. Nervously she cast a glance at the closed office door.

Ben seemed to understand. Casually he hooked an arm around her neck and lowered his mouth to her ear. "That won't happen to us," he murmured, and kissed her neck before letting his arm drop away from her.

Addie smiled uncertainly. "Well, considering the way you were brought up and your fancy eastern education, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised to find a civilized streak in you."

"We're all going to be civilized out here, and it won't take long, either. Not with the railroad spreading as fast as it is."

"So you expect things to change around here?"

"Mmm-hmmmm. Everything, even the cattle we handle. Lately there's been a demand for better beef than what we're gathering in and trailing up to Kansas. Longhorns are easy to take care of, but they're tough and stringy. "

"Weren't you and Daddy talking about breeding them with some better stock? Some shorthorns with more meat on them?"

"A lot of ranchers are talking about that. The problem is, shorthorns need more care and attention, and most of the boys don't want to fool with them. And breeding shorthorns means more fencing, which means soon there'll be so much wire around the district you'll have to cut your way to town. So… " He cast a glance up and down the empty halls before leaning over and stealing a quick kiss from Addie. "… the open range will keep getting smaller and smaller. And the East is going to keep spreading out here. And with all those changes going on, cowmen will have to change their way of doing things."

"So you're going to become a new kind of rancher?"

"Yes, ma'am, And I'll be one of the best."

"To think of what you could do if you only had some confidence."

He grinned at her before heading out the door. Addie smiled wryly and shook her head, standing in the doorway as she watched him leave.

Fall roundup had begun. To everyone on the ranch it was a roundup like any other. Calves born since last spring were weaned from their mothers, branded, and marked as the property of the Sunrise Ranch. Bulls were gathered in so they could be fed and tended during winter, while the older, unproductive cows were destined for slaughter. Plans were made to drive a huge herd of cattle to market.

Those things came to everyone's mind when the word "roundup" was mentioned. But to Addie it meant Russell was in danger, and if anyone would try to kill him, it would be now. She lay awake at night listening for the slightest sound, occasionally getting up and looking out the window until she saw the cowboy whose duty it was to watch the house that evening. After discovering the nightly patrol outside the ranch house each night, Russell had demanded to know the reason for it. Ben had treated the matter casually, giving little explanation except to say he felt it was necessary.

Still fussing about it after dinner-"Whose damn ranch is this anyway?"-Russell went to his office and soothed his own temper with two fingers of whiskey. Addie crept in surreptitiously to see him. His back was to the door, but it was obvious he was pouring himself a drink. She grinned as he tossed a guilty look over his shoulder.

"It's just me," she said, and he relaxed with a grunt.

"Honey, don't tell your mama 'bout this. I promised her I'd cut down on this stuff."

"Are you going to?"

"Yeah. Sometime. " He gestured her over and sighed with pleasure as the fire of the whiskey slid down his throat. "Whatcha in here for?"

"Oh, nothing. I just wanted to ask you about what you and Ben were arguing over-"

"Ben and his damn foolish notions," Russell said in disgust. "Havin' someone watch over the house at night… 'to protect the family,' he says, as if I can't protect my own family! And y' got Pete and Cade upstairs too! What does he think's gonna happen?"

"It might not be a bad idea. Everyone knows the Warners aren't too popular with the rest of the county:' Addie hesitated before adding, "I wouldn't put it past the Johnsons to murder a man in his own bed. Daddy, don't laugh-I'm serious."

"The Johnsons can't touch me." Russell smiled shrewdly. "My fence is goin' back up, an' there's nothin' they can do to stop it. And if they ever did get me outta the way, they still couldn't get their paws on my ranch, 'cause Ben's gonna be a part of the Warner family soon, and he'd tear it apart himself before lettin' Big George get hold of it."

But what if they made it look as if Ben is guilty of your murder? Addie wanted to cry out. That was what they'd done before. "All the same, there's reason to be extra careful," she said sharply. "And by the way, whenever you mention Ben marrying into the family, it sounds as if he's going to be Ben Warner. But I have a suspicion he likes his own last name and plans to keep it."

Russell laughed heartily. "The name don't matter to me, 's long as he marries my Adeline-"

"-and takes care of your ranch."

Russell chuckled and waved her out of the room before pouring himself another drink.

As several nights passed and nothing happened, Addie became less fearful. She started to let herself believe nothing would happen. There were many ways to rationalize things. Maybe Jeff had believed her warning and her threats. Maybe the Johnsons had decided it was too risky to send someone after Russell. Maybe the man they'd hired had already come and was frightened off by the sight of the cowboy watching over the house.

With roundup going on and May and Caroline making plans for her wedding, the ranch was overrun with activity. Addie missed Ben acutely, especially at night, but they had enough stolen moments together to take the edge off her hunger. Hardest of all were the hours when she lay in bed and knew that he was only a short distance away, alone in his small cabin near the main house.

Then finally the waiting became too much to bear and caution lost to desire. Addie had planned to be patient and content herself with the odds and ends of time they had together until the wedding. But she needed him now. She wondered how she could find a way to be with him, when May's watchful eye was on them both. She would think of something, in spite of the risk of someone catching wind of it afterward. By now propriety meant little to her.

As she schemed on how to find time alone with Ben, Addie realized the answer was ridiculously simple. Why not just walk out of the house and go to his cabin? No complicated tiptoeing around the halls at midnight, no whispered plans of how or when they could meet. Just sneak out after dinner. As the family ate heartily, she picked at her food, unable to chew and swallow when her mind was preoccupied with the night to come. She could feel Ben's eyes on her often, and she knew he'd noticed the hint of tension in her face. She could feel the warm blood in her cheeks and wondered if her color was high. Before the meal was finished, she pushed back from the table.

"I'm a little tired," she said in response to May's questioning glance. "I believe I'll retire early tonight." Ben's gaze sought and found hers, and she saw the concern in his eyes. It was unusual behavior for her, and he suspected something was wrong.

"Addie-" he started, and she interrupted him gently.

"I'll see all of you tomorrow morning. Good night." As she left the room, she could feel Ben's eyes boring into her back. Pausing at the foot of the stairs, she waited until the sound of conversation resumed. Then she slipped out the front door. It was still too early for Robbie Keir, the boy who had been assigned to patrol around the house, to begin his watch.

Addie looked right and left before sneaking across the shoit distance to Ben's cabin, keeping to the shadows as much as possible. Triumphantly she reached the door and slipped inside, her heart thumping with excitement. She had no idea how she'd get back to her own room before morning without being discovered. Ben would have to figure it out.

Leisurely she moved around the cabin, finding it immaculate and sparsely furnished. The bed was narrow, with a hard, thin mattress, but it was covered with an intricately woven Indian blanket, and the sheets and pillowcase were snowy white. Since Ben did most of his paperwork in Russell's office, the small desk in here was bare except for a few books. She looked through them and discovered a thin volume of Shakespeare, a biography of Thomas Jefferson, a book on stock raising, and a report from a livestock journal about cattle transportation. How very boring, she thought, and smiled, reflecting that he probably didn't have that much time to read anyway. His guitar was propped up in one shadowy comer, a bootjack tucked into another. Wandering over to the bed, Addie settled down on the mattress and keeled over, burying her face in the pillow. It was scented of him, and she rubbed her cheek into it luxuriously, closing her eyes.

In spite of her anticipation, Addie fell into a shallow sleep until she was alerted by the sound of footsteps. The door was opened and she sat up, blinking as Ben entered the room.

To see Addie curled up kittenishly on his bed, sleepy-eyed and tousle-haired, was the last thing he expected. He stopped in his tracks as he looked at her, his green eyes widening as they moved from her tumbling honey-brown hair to her disheveled dress. Stunned, he could do nothing but stand there and stare.

"I don't believe you're here," he said, sounding bemused.

"I wanted you," she said, pushing a lock of hair away from her eyes. "At least say you're glad I'm here."

"Glad?" he repeated thickly. In a fraction of a second he reached the bed and scooped her up, sitting down with her in his lap. He kissed her hungrily, stealing her breath away, and his lips moved down her throat. Clumsily he fumbled with the buttons of her dress. Reaching up to help him, Addie unfastened her bodice, and with each new inch of smooth skin revealed, his greedy kisses ventured lower.

"Was it a good idea for me to sneak over here?" she asked breathlessly, running her fingers through his hair.

His arms wrapped around her, and he engulfed her in a bone-crushing hug. "It was inspired," he said, burying his face in his throat. In a flurry of passion they talked at the same time, not bothering to take turns or even finish sentences.

"I've missed you so much-"

"Not half as much as I-"

"And every time I turn around, you're more beautiful than a minute ago-"

"All I can think about is you-"

"How do you get this off?" he demanded, searching for the hooks of her chemise, and before she could show him, he ripped the thin material straight down the front.

"Ben," she protested, torn between laughter and protest, and gasped as his lips moved over her breasts. His mouth fastened over an aching nipple, tugging gently. Moaning, she tilted her head back and arched up to him, her body on fire. There was a tremor in the arms that held her.

"It's been so long," she whispered.

"Forever."

Feverishly she worked at the buttons on his shirt while he reached under her skirts and stripped off her stockings. His hand ventured up to her knee, but her pantalets prevented him from exploring further.

"I've been going crazy," he muttered in the under-curve of her breast. "Wanting you, and seeing you every day, and not being able to have you-"

"Make love to me," she interrupted. "Quickly." He half-laughed, half-groaned, lowering her to the mattress. In a few violent tugs he removed his boots and stripped off his shirt, then turned to help Addie wriggle out of her dress.

Impatiently he tossed the clothes to the floor and bent over her body. She pulled his head down to her breasts, purring as he kissed her, his tongue stroking lightly, sensitive to her every response. His warm palms brushed over her thighs, starting at the outsides, moving to the inner curves, and then his hand was between her legs. His breathing deepened as the wet sheath of her contracted around his fingers.

"So sweet… ah, I need you," he said against her lips, pushing deeper, and her nails dug into his back.

Brokenly she said his name. Her tongue thrust into his mouth, testing the even edge of his teeth. She writhed against him, her toes curling tightly as she felt the beginnings of a surging climax. Shocked that it was so quick, she reached for the fastenings of his jeans, wanting him inside her before the rising wave of pleasure broke.

Ben unfastened the stubborn buttons, his head spinning with the sound of her faint cry as he slid into the pulsing depths of her body. Addie's hands slipped downward and clenched over his flexing buttocks. Her body tightened around his as she was consumed by the white heat of fulfillment. He only had time for a few hard thrusts before the same ecstasy swept through him. They remained locked together, savoring the contractions of their joined flesh, tense until weakness flooded them both. Tenderly his mouth moved over hers, tasting and exploring. Everything before this moment had been flavored with desperation. Everything afterward was deliciously slow.

"I love you," he whispered, holding her body against his, resting his chin in the curve of her shoulder and neck. Sighing in contentment, Addie wrapped her legs around him possessively. They were both quiet for a long time, until the glow of splendor faded.

Addie was the first to stir, tugging at the waist of Ben's Levi's, and he smiled down at her, his expression lazy and relaxed for the first time in weeks.

"I had planned to take them off," he murmured. "Are you going to?" she asked drowsily.

He was too exhausted to move. "In a minute." She locked her arms around his back, loving the heaviness of his body over hers. "Don't move. Not yet. "

"Don't worry."

His mouth found hers and they kissed languorously. Eventually Ben rolled to his side and stripped his jeans off. As soon as the garment was dropped to the floor, Addie snuggled close again, relishing the feel of his hair-roughened legs against hers. Her small hands wandered over his. ribs and around to his back, and she marveled at how beautiful he was. "You're very strong," she said, walking her fingers up his spine.

"I wasn't always. Texas toughened me up a lot."

"What were you like when you were at Harvard?" she asked, tracing the indentations of his midriff. "All skinny and pale?"

Ben chuckled. "No, but I was in no shape to survive a trail drive, either."

"Texas must have been very different from what you'd been used to."

"I learned quickly." He smiled reminiscently. "At first I didn't even know how to rope a steer. I had to learn a lot of things the hard way."

"It must have been frightening."

"More lonely than anything else. The worst thing was never seeing any women. I ran a couple of long drives, and after several months of celibacy, those cattle towns were a taste of heaven. Whiskey that burned your guts out-they call it Kansas Sheep Dip-and women everywhere. God Almighty, those women… big, gaudy women with names like Hambone Kate and Dancing Annie. When the boys and I got to town, our eyes nearly dropped out of our heads at the sight of all those feathers and red dresses. The first night I spent in Dodge City, I went from saloon to saloon, and-“

"I hope you spent all your money and went back to Texas with a hangover."

Ben laughed. "I did:'

"Feathers and red dresses…" Addie mused, wondering what Ben would say if he saw her in a skirt that barely covered her knees.

"Maybe I'll buy you a red dress someday," Ben said, his eyes twinkling. "Something different from all that pink you like to wear. And you can wear it for me in private, with your feet bare and your hair falling down your back. "

"Buy me feathers too.”

He grinned and rolled over, pulling her on top of him. "Lord, Addie, I'm never gonna get tired of you.”

"Oh, I guarantee you won't:' she replied, bracing her forearm across his chest. "I'll make sure of it.”

He pulled her wrists out from underneath her, causing her to collapse on him, her breasts pressing into his chest. Before she could make a sound, his hands cupped the back of her head and exerted pressure to bring her mouth against his. Addie kissed him ardently, angling her head to the side. Her eyes slitted open as she felt a gentle light on her face. The moon was shining into the room, its beams reaching in through the window and touching everything with a silvery glow. Ben's face was thrown into relief, a study in light and darkness, and he was so starkly handsome that her heart missed a beat.

"I adore you, Ben Hunter," she said, touching his cheekbones with her fingertips. He drew her hand to his mouth and kissed her palm. Smiling with pure happiness, she laid her cheek on his chest and stared at the window with half-open eyes. A filament of light had fallen across the comer of the room, striking off the scuffed surface of the propped-up guitar. The sight of it caught her gaze for a reason she didn't understand, and she continued to stare, her smile disappearing.

There was a gap in the row of strings, like one tooth missing from a row of teeth. Addie blinked, wondering if her eyes were playing tricks on her. The gap remained. One of the strings was gone. The breath stopped in her throat. Panic stabbed her heart in a cold thrust.

"No, " she gasped, suddenly springing into action, fighting to be free of Ben's arms. Stunned by the explosion of movement, he took hold of her flailing arms and tried to hold her still.

"Addie," he snapped. "What in the hell is wrong with you?"

"Let me go," she cried, turning white. "Please…Ben… go to the house. Russell… Oh, God, Daddy-"

"Nothing's happened to him. He's safe and sound. Addie, for God's sake, calm down."

"Please," she said, bursting into tears, feeling as if her heart would burst out of her chest. "We have to help him."

Reading the terror in her eyes, he swore and released her, reaching for his jeans and yanking them up to his waist. She scrambled for her dress, her hands shaking. Before she could pull on her clothes, Ben was already out the door.

A cloud drifted over the moon, dimming its light, but not before Ben saw the crumpled shape of a man near the steps of the porch. Suddenly he was gripped by the same fear that had taken hold of Addie, and he tore over to the house, sliding to his knees beside the body. Robbie Keir, the boy who was supposed to be watching over the area. He was unconscious. Someone had hit him on the side of the head with a blunt object.

Ben rose to his feet, the blood draining from his face. "Jesus Christ," he muttered, and took the stairs in two leaps, running across the porch and flinging open the front door. As soon as he stepped inside, pain burst inside his head like a brilliant light. He collapsed to the floor without a sound.

Buttoning her dress haphazardly, Addie left Ben's cabin and ran barefoot to the house, her hair flying out behind her. It seemed as if she had to run miles. Don't let anything have happened, she begged feverishly. She should have stayed in her room that night. She shouldn't have gone to be with Ben, not when there was still a chance Russell was in danger. But it couldn't have really happened… no, she was having a nightmare, just as she had so many times before. She felt small and terrified, like a child who faced a fear too great to comprehend, and now nothing would soothe her but the sight of Russell, safe and carefree and laughing at her worry.

Addie's steps slowed as she saw the boy on the ground, one arm outflung, the other curled limply around his head. Dread weighted her down like a heavy cloak. Without even pausing to look at the still figure, she went to the front door, which was ajar. She found Ben just inside, his dark-skinned torso blending with the somber color of the carpet. Sinking down beside him, she choked back tears and searched until she felt warm wetness at the base of his skull. He stirred and moaned as she touched the swelling wound, his eyelashes flickering.

There was a sound of clattering metal, seeming to come from the kitchen. Someone was leaving the house. Addie looked in the direction of the sound and stood up, hardly aware of what she was doing. Gasping for breath, she ran to the upstairs bedrooms, ignoring the sounds of the family waking and stirring in their rooms. Cade's door opened, and Caroline's, and sleepy voices were asking her what was the matter, what had happened, but she didn't speak or stop to look at them. She went to Russell's room and went inside, leaving the door half-open. Although the room was dark, she could see the gleam of his eyes as he lay on his side.

"Daddy?"

He didn't answer. The threat of tears passed as everything inside went cold. Moving to the dresser, Addie tried to light the lamp, but she was trembling too badly. Biting her lower lip until it hurt, she tried again, and the soft glow of a flame filled the room. As she turned back to the bed, she saw Russell's body frozen in a convulsion, his face tinted blue-white even in the golden light of the lamp. It was obvious without going any closer that it was too late to revive him. Something deeper than grief spread through her, more hurtful than any kind of pain she'd ever felt. She'd let it happen to him. Stumbling against the wall, she buried her face in her arms and clenched her fists.

"Adeline?" She heard Cade's voice near the door.

The sound caused her to move quickly, blocking him before he got close enough to the doorway to see what had happened.

"Where's Mama?" she asked, her eyes as dark as coal.

"Seeing to Ben downstairs," he replied, bewildered. "He's just coming to. Someone knocked him out. What's happening, Adeline? Why do you look so funny? Why isn't Daddy-"

"Hush!" Thoughts swooped in and out of her mind, faster than she could catch hold of them. She had to force herself to concentrate. "Go to the bunkhouse and find someone to help you get the sheriff."

"I can go alone-"

"I don't want you going alone. Now, leave, and be quick. And tell Peter to keep Mama and Caro away from this room. And Robbie Keir is outside. He's been hurt. Tell Mama to see to him after she's through with Ben. "

Cade nodded in a businesslike manner, but the tremble of his lower lip spoiled the effect. "Why isn't Daddy up? What's wrong? Something's happened to him, hasn't it?"

"Yes." She couldn't give him sympathy or tell him gently, or they would both fall apart. "He's dead."

His soft brown eyes went blank, then brimmed close to overflowing. "No. He can't be. Oh, Ad-"

"Don't," she said sharply, knowing that if he broke down, she'd fall into pieces. "Not now. Act like a man, Cade. I need you to help me." He shuddered and pressed his fists into his eye sockets, getting control of himself. "Hurry," Addie said, and went back into the room, closing the door. Drawing near the bed, she looked into Russell's staring eyes, reached out and closed them with her fingertips. Her face twisted as she saw the thin steel cord embedded in his neck. It was from Ben's guitar. She had to get it off him before May saw, before anyone saw. As she extended a hand to the bloodied string, she felt a shudder go through her insides, and she wrapped her arms around her middle, staring at Russell's body. I can't…I can't touch him again.

It was too grisly. But it had to be done. She took hold of the cord and began to pry it away, breathing through her mouth to avoid the smell of death. It hurt more than she could.have imagined to have him die this way. He hadn't deserved this, a death so ignominious for such a proud man. The circumstances, and her responsibility, made it more painful than when Leah had died. I can't think about that yet, she thought, her self-control faltering. She would have to break the news to Ben, and to Caro and Peter. But she didn't want to be the one to tell May. She couldn't look her mother in the face and tell her. Someone else could do it.

The doorknob turned, and May stood in the doorway without moving. An immaculate golden braid trailed over her shoulder, almost reaching the belt of her tiny-waisted robe. She looked incredibly fragile, her face chiseled out of ivory, her face etched with lines Addie had never noticed before. Cade must have told her. Addie let go of the cord and turned to keep her from coming any closer. Before anyone could see Russell, she had to clear the room of the evidence planted to frame Ben.

"Mama-"

"Leave me alone with him."

Addie moistened her dry lips. "Mama, I need a few minutes to…"

Like a sleepwalker, May went to the bed, not looking at her. Addie fell back a few steps. "He… he was murdered," she said helplessly.

May ignored her and knelt by Russell's body, her back perfectly straight.

Slowly Addie backed away and went out into the hallway, her mind spinning. There was no time to fix things now. She would have to let the guitar string remain where it was, and provide an alibi for Ben. It would have to be enough to protect him.

The house was quiet except for the muffled sounds coming from Caro's bedroom. Ben was nowhere to be seen. Addie guessed he was outside with Robbie Keir. Walking to the stairs on trembling legs, she headed to Russell's office, where she was certain she'd find a bottle of whiskey. Maybe a drink would help to steady her nerves and stop her from shaking. She whirled around like a scalded cat as Caro's door burst open and Peter stepped out, his eyes wild.

"It's Caroline," he said in panic. "She's having pains. The baby-"

"Did her water break?" Addie asked, and he went scarlet, opening and closing his mouth like a fish. Either he didn't know or was too embarrassed to tell her. Irritation rose in her throat, and it was all she could do to keep from snapping at him. "You'd better go get Dr. Haskin," she said, brushing by him and going into Caro's room.

Caroline was curled up on her side, holding her stomach and biting her lip in agony.

"Caro?" At the sound of Addie's voice Caroline began to sob uncontrollably. "Caro, has there been any bleeding?" Addie took hold of her shoulders and repeated the question, her hands biting into Caroline's upper arms. The pain of Addie's grip seemed to break through her fear. She stared up at Addie, the flood of tears slowing a little. "Yes, some bleeding. And labor pains… but it's too soon… it's too soon for… " she broke off and gave a little moan, her face filmy with perspiration. "My water just broke," she whispered. "It's too soon."

She was having a miscarriage. Addie read the terror in her eyes and knew a moment of panic before an unnatural calm came over her. "I'm going to get some more pillows to prop you up," she said, "and a few other things. I'll be right back."

"I want Mama here. Get her… please."

"She'll be here in just a few minutes. And Peter's on his way to get the doctor right now."

Caroline closed her eyes, her eyelashes trembling against her cheeks. She writhed with a contraction. "Adeline…" she gasped. "Is he really dead?"

Something inside Addie twisted in anguish. "Yes, Caro," she said softly.

"Adeline, I don't want to die. I'm so afraid. I think… I think I'm going to die too. "

It was hard for Addie to suppress a wave of helpless anger. All she wanted to do was find a private comer and cry. Hadn't enough happened tonight without this too? She didn't want to bear up under any more disaster. She didn't want to be strong for Caroline when she needed all her strength for herself.

Then she was horrified at her thoughts. How selfish she was. "You're not going to die," she said. "Don't waste your energy worrying about ridiculous things." Her voice was full of remorse, but it was doubtful Caroline heard her. Addie flew out of the room and ran to Russell's door, flinging it open madly. Startled, May looked up with her hands still clasped in prayer. "Caro's having her baby," Addie said hoarsely. "She needs you there."

May blinked and spoke as if in a dream. "She's upset because of Russ-"

"It's more than being upset. Her water broke, and she's bleeding. She's having labor pains. Stay with her while I find some things to clean up the bed with." She left without waiting for an answer, and nearly ran into Leah, who was standing in the middle of the hallway.

"What's the matter with Mama?" the little girl asked, her eyes wide and her lips white.

"Leah, honey, go to bed." There was no use lying to her. "Your Mama's having the baby. You must stay in your room and keep out of the way."

Even at a tender age Leah had overheard enough conversations about childbirth to know it was often mentioned in the same breath as pain and death. To an observant child who'd heard the horror stories women liked to tell of their trials in labor, the mysterious condition of pregnancy was something dangerous and fearful.

"Is she going to-"

"She's going to be just fine," Addie said swiftly, giving her a push in the direction of her room. "Now, go, and don't get out of bed again."