Give Me Tonight

5

"ADELINE, YOU DON'T KNOW HOW HARD DADDY'S takin' this. You said hardly a word to him yesterday, or the day before. Why don't you talk to him? You don't know how much you're hurtin' him."

She looked at Cade mutinously while the two of them walked by the smokehouse and kicked at chips of wood. "You don't know how much he hurt me, Cade. What would you do if he ordered you not to see any of your friends? What about that little brown haired girl you like to call on, Jeannie something-orother-"

"Janie."

"Yes, her. What if he told you not to visit her anymore?"

Cade was forever a diplomat. "I guess I'd agree, 'f I believed in his reasons."

"Hal You wouldn't either. You'd want to see her, and you'd be mad at Daddy for acting so highhanded."

He grinned. "Yeah, but I couldn't stay mad as long as you. You and Daddy, you're ones for holdin' grudges. Me?… I don't see the sense in bein'mad about somethin' you can't change."

“There isn't any sense in it," Addie agreed grimly.

"But I've never pretended to be as nice as you, Cade, and I can't help being mad."

Since her falling-out with Russell, she'd kept out of his way, finding an unexpected hardness in herself every time she thought about forgiving him. Until now he'd let her do and say almost anything she wanted. But for him to turn around and curtail that freedom, treating her like an object to be put back in its place, had been too unexpected. You couldn't allow someone free rein and then pull it in too suddenly, too tightly.

Like any daughter on bad terms with one parent, she sought out the affection and support of the other. May wisely refrained from criticizing either Addie or Russell, or taking one side against the other. Instead she offered sympathy to both of them privately, knowing that each was too hardheaded to be induced to see the other's viewpoint. Addie and Russell were barely on speaking terms.

Though her problem with Russell disturbed her a great deal, Addie didn't talk much about it, especially not to Ben. She felt acutely embarrassed whenever she looked at him and remembered how she had sobbed in his arms. What did he think of her now? Ben didn't mention the episode. His tenderness of that night had disappeared, and he was his usual mocking self toward her. But sometimes he looked at her as if he were silently laughing at her newfound shyness, and all it took was that one look to set her teeth on edge. Then she would wait for a jeer that never came… ah, how detestable he was!

She sought consolation for her bruised ego in May's company. May was always calm and gentle. There was quiet grace in everything she did, a grace that was not learned but came from an inner source. Caroline was like that too. They were the kind of women who would never allow the world to change them. Addie knew herself to be a complete contrast to them. She was always struggling and changing, always wanting things and being resentful when she couldn't get them. She understood what Russell had been trying to tell her before. None of the family would be able to survive Russell's murder, she thought moodily. No wonder it went to pieces after he was gone. They'll all do well enough if everything's secure and organized and comfortable for them. But when disaster happens, they need someone else to do the struggling for them. It's good to be gentle and nice, but there are times when you just can't be, or the world will walk right over you.

A week after Addie had been forbidden to see Jeff, the family prepared to travel nearly fifty miles to attend the wedding of Jeff's younger brother Harlan to Ruth Fanin, the daughter of a wealthy rancher. Sunrise and the Double Bar tacitly agreed to put aside their differences for a few days. They all loved a wedding. It gave them a chance to see old acquaintances, trade stories, drink freely, and dance until the soles of their feet were bruised. The cowboys from different ranches ate meals together, talked about wages and work, enjoyed the free liquor and took as much advantage as possible of the host's hospitality. And every rancher in Texas liked to show off what he considered to be his own legendary hospitality.

The women at these affairs were always outnumbered by men, which meant the favor and attention of every available female was constantly sought after. Addie was apprehensive about attending the wedding. What would she do when people she didn't know expected her to recognize them? But at the same time, she was excited. She hadn't been dancing in a long time. She wanted to listen to music and be among crowds of festive people.

The day before they were to leave, May came upstairs to help Addie pack, finding her in the middle of a heap of dresses. Addie had been trying on dresses for an hour, none of which she wanted to wear, and she had the urge to take a match to her entire wardrobe.

"I'd cry," Addie said in frustration, "if it would help anything."

May's face softened with concern. "Sugar, your face is all red. What's got you so upset?"

"These." With a sweep of her hand, Addie indicated the pile of clothes around her. "I'm trying to find something to wear for the dance after the wedding, but I don't have anything to wear that's not pink. I hate it. It's practically all I wear from morning till night, and I'm sick of it. "

"I tried to talk you into some different colors when we were having them made. But you insisted on it. Remember how stubborn you were?"

"I must have been dead from the neck up," Addie said feelingly. "Can you tell me why I decided on all pink?"

"I believe Jeff said it was his favorite color on you," May replied placidly.

"That's just wonderful. Now I can't even see him anymore, and I'm stuck with a closet full of pink dresses. "

May couldn't hold back a smile, though she tried. "Adeline, it is a pretty color on you-"

"No, don't even try," Addie said, beginning to smile reluctantly despite her exasperation. "I'm inconsolable."

May clucked her tongue sympathetically and busied herself around the room, picking up dresses and piling them on the bed. "We'll fix everything, sugar. Just give me a minute to think. "

Addie felt her temper subsiding as she and May worked to put things back in order. There was something almost magical about May's effect on her, something soothing and wonderful about the scent of vanilla, the gleam of her tidy blond hair, the graceful efficiency of her slim white hands. It was May's self appointed role to comfort and soothe, arrange and organize, to keep the house and all its occupants in perfect harmony. Addie knew she wasn't as forbearing as May, and she wasn't certain she wanted to be. But she appreciated that quality in May just the same.

"Let's see if we can find something for you in my closet."

"Are you sure?" Addie looked at her in surprise.

"Well, we're pretty much the same size. But your waist is smaller."

"I've noticed you haven't been lacing as tightly as you used to. I've been meanin' to speak to you about that, Adeline."

Addie frowned. She'd always had a figure. But that had been in a time when young women didn't use corsets. In I930, an old woman would wear whalebone coutils, a middle-aged woman wore the lighter version, called a corselette, and someone Addie's age would wear only a brassiere and a lightweight foundation garment. Now she was being measured by different standards, and in I880 a twenty-four-inch waist was decidedly large. Every woman, young and old, wore strong whalebone corsets fortified with flat lead weights and laced as tightly as they could bear.

"I can't breathe when it's tighter than this."

"Of course you can," May said. "You have in the past."

"I've changed, Mama. Really, I have."

"It might be uncomfortable at times, but it's just not elegant to let your waist get that big, sugar. And besides, it's not good for your back to go without support. "

"I’ll try to lace tighter," Addie muttered, knowing she'd faint if she did.

May beamed at her. "That's my good girl. I just want you to be the prettiest girl at the dance. And you will be. I'm going to give you that blue-green dress I've never even worn."

"Oh, I couldn't take something you've never-"

"I’ve decided it's too young for me. It'll be the perfect thing for you. Come try it on. "

Addie followed her down the hall to her bedroom. May and Russell slept in separate bedrooms in order to keep from having more children. After becoming aware of that, Addie had questioned Caroline about it, unable to imagine a man as robust as Russell going without a woman for the rest of his life. Caroline had blushed slightly. "I suppose there must be someone he visits occasionally," she had said.

Addie had been disturbed by the thought. "But how strange. It seems as if he and Mama still love each other. "

"Of course they do. Even though Daddy might go to bed with another woman, he loves Mama as much as he always has."

"But for them not to share a bed together-"

"It doesn't mean anything, really. He can love Mama with his heart even though he might love another woman in a physical way."

"No he can't," Addie said, her brows knitting together. Fidelity wasn't something to be compromised on.

"Why not?"

"Because he just can't!"

Thinking about that conversation now, Addie peered at May's pristine yellow-and-white bedroom, and then watched her sort through the dresses in the closet. "Mama," she asked carefully, "if two people are going to get married, do you think it's important for them to feel passion for each other?"

May turned around, looking surprised, and then she smiled. "My goodness, sometimes you're even more outspoken than your daddy. What brought on that question? "

"I was just thinking about marriage, and love."

"The two should go hand in hand. It's important to love the man you marry. But it's even more important to have interests that are compatible with his. As for passion, that's not as necessary as you might think. Passion fades. Love will always be there, and so will compatibility. Does that answer your question?"

"Partly," Addie said thoughtfully. "You don't think passion is a bad thing, do you?"

"In some ways, yes. It blinds people to what's really in their hearts. They're more easily swayed by passion than reason, and that's a bad thing. It's an empty emotion. "

Addie didn't agree at all, but she held her tongue rather than argue. In the silence, May turned back to the closet and located the dress she'd been looking for. "Here it is, Adeline." She laid it on the bed with a flourish,' and Addie went to look at it.

"It's the most beautiful dress I've ever seen," she said, touching a fold of it reverently. The turquoise dress shimmered and glistened in the daylight. It had a heart-shaped neckline, elbow-length sleeves trimmed with ruffles, and an elaborately draped skirt ornamented with gauze and moss roses. She could hardly wait to try it on.

"If you like it, it's yours."

"I love it," Addie exclaimed animatedly, and they both chuckled as she scooped it up and went over to the mirror to hold it against herself.

"It'll be beautiful on you, with that honey-colored hair and those pretty brown eyes," May observed, her face glowing with pleasure.

"Why do you look so happy?" Addie demanded with a laugh. "I'm the one who's getting the dress."

May came up to her and gave her a quick hug from behind. "I'm your mama. I'm always happy when you are, sugar. Haven't I told you that before?"

A queer sensation went through Addie as she saw their two faces in the mirror. For a split second she saw a child posing in front of that same mirror in finery borrowed from May's closet, and then the image disappeared, leaving her shaken. "Yes, you have," she whispered.

"Adeline, what's wrong?"

Slowly Addie turned to look at her, and something inside clicked into place, like the missing piece of a puzzle. Suddenly May looked familiar to her, in a different way from before. Addie was stunned by the dearness of that face, the ache of love that had taken hold of her heart in just an instant. The sight of May's concerned expression brought forth another image, much clearer than the first. Addie could see herself as a little girl, tearful and guilt-ridden, seeking May's forgiveness. Mama, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…

"I just remembered something," Addie said huskily, her gaze becoming distant. "A long time ago I borrowed something of yours without asking. A gold bracelet, wasn'tit? And… I lost it, didn'tI?"

"That's all forgotten."

"But it did happen," Addie pressed.

"Yes, but it's not important now."

But it had happened.

Remembering that was enough to make Addie believe. I've just got to be her daughter. May is my mother. I know she is. Her eyes stung, and she wiped at them fiercely. Her throat ached as she tried to speak.

For so many years I've wanted you … never even hoped…no reason to hope.

May held her arms out and gathered her close, her expression clouded with confusion. "What? What's wrong?"

Addie rested her head on that soft shoulder, trembling with emotion. "Nothing. Nothing at all, Mama."

The land surrounding the Fanins' main house swarmed with people, animals, and vehicles. The house seemed more like a hotel than a home, large enough to accommodate countless guests and visitors. After the barbecue this afternoon and parties tonight, the wedding would be held tomorrow morning, followed by a dance and two days of festivities.

"I didn't expect there'd be this many people," Addie whispered to Caroline, who laughed dryly.

"Looks like Mrs. Fanin invited a few hundred of her closest friends. I suppose she thought a turnout smaller than this would've made her look stingy. Look-over there on the veranda. She's makin' a point of receivin' everyone. How would you like to coo over five hundred people in a row? That's what I call hospitality. "

Peter and Russell helped the women out of the carriage, while Cade caught sight of a friend and ran off to join him. Addie averted her gaze from Russell's as she took his hand and stepped down to the ground. Before she could turn away, he stopped her with a quiet warning.

"I'll have my eye on you most of the time. Don't let me catch you anywhere near that Johnson boy. And I mean that, Adeline."

"I thought a cease-fire had been called."

"It has. But that doesn't mean the war's ended. And I don't want you to give anyone of those fence-cutters so much as a howdy-do. Got that?"

"It's not my war."

"Yes it is. You're a Warner."

She nodded shortly and turned away from him, joining May and Caroline as they went to greet Mrs. Fanin.

"Mah goodness, how long it's been!" Mrs. Fanin exclaimed in a syrupy drawl, her dark eyes almost disappearing as she bestowed a brilliant, crinkling smile on them. "Oh, Adeline, how beautiful you are! I 'spect we'll be at your weddin' next, won't we?"

Adeline smiled uncomfortably. "I don't know about that-"

"And, Carolahnn… you, in this heat… we'll have to sit you down with a cool drink right away. May, Ah just cain't believe how sweet your two girls ah. Y'all must let me show off some of the gifts Ruthie has received."

"What did we give her?" Addie whispered to Caroline as they followed Mrs. Fanin into the house.

"Crystal artichoke plates."

Addie couldn't smother a grin. "Nice to know we gave her something really useful."

Caroline, who had helped May pick out the plates, lifted her nose in the air. "Ruth already has everything she needs. Most important, Jeff's younger brother for a husband. "

Immediately Addie's smile disappeared. "Caro, if you see Jeff around, tell me. I've got to explain some things to him."

"You're askin' for trouble, little sister. And you don't need to explain anything to him. He already knows why you haven't returned his notes or gone to meet him."

"Just tell me if you see him," Addie said impatiently.

After admiring and exclaiming over the tables loaded down with Ruth's wedding gifts, Addie and Caroline managed to escape to their rooms in order to take brief naps and freshen up before the barbecue. May remained by Mrs. Fanin's side to help her receive the rest of the guests.

A cool breeze drifted into the room, easing the heat of the day, but Addie couldn't sleep. She went to the window and watched the activity outside. Hundreds of names were being called back and forth as old friends renewed their acquaintances. Busily she repeated the names to herself, hoping she'd remember enough of them to avoid offending anyone or causing embarrassment to herself.

The scene quieted as afternoon approached, while people retired to their rooms to prepare for the night ahead. Addie's stomach began to growl as tantalizing smells floated through the air. It wasn't difficult to envision the pork that was roasting and crackling over the fire at this very moment. There would be smoked sausage, brisket, and potatoes, not to mention all the different kinds of pies and cakes for dessert. Surreptitiously Addie loosened her corset strings, letting her waist expand a good inch and a half, sighing in relief. No one would notice. Elegance be damned. She was hungry.

"I think everyone looks just wonderful," Caroline said, clinging to Peter's arm as the Warners went down the stairs in a small group. They all moved slowly out of consideration for Caroline's awkward gait. May and Addie were on either side of Russell, the hems of their dresses brushing the edges of the steps as they descended.

Addie was fascinated by the people walking in and out of the house. Caro was right. Everyone did look wonderful. It could have been a scene right out of the movies. She marveled at the fact that it was real. The women wore beautiful, frothy dresses trimmed with profusions of flowers and lace. Tiny waists were cinched in with fringed sashes or large bows, hair was curled into masses of ringlets and pinned in large puffs.

The men were even more remarkable in their finery than the women. After seeing men dressed in nothing but rough denims and cotton workshirts for so long, it was a pleasure to behold them all turned out in their best. Many wore light-colored shirts, bright silk scarves, and exquisite made-to-order boots, while the more affluent were attired in fashionable city clothes, striped trousers, light summer suits, and satin vests. Addie wanted to giggle as she saw how many of them had patent-leather hair, slicked down and shiny with Macassar oil, flat on top, with all the wave and curl combed out.

"Adeline, you're a picture tonight," Russell said gruffly, glancing down at her.

The rich melon-pink of her dress brought out the peach tones of her skin, and made her brown eyes darker. The neckline of her dress was moderately low and the sleeves short, leaving her neck and shoulders bare. The two ruffled skirts of her dress were trimmed with plaited ribbons that rustled as she moved.

Addie smiled reluctantly. "Thank you, Daddy."

"There's just one thing. Don't let me catch you sneakin' off with that Johnson boy."

"You won't," she said sweetly. She was going to find Jeff, but she would certainly make sure Russell didn't catch her.

Outside, music was provided by several fiddles, a guitar, and a banjo, and there were wreaths and streamers of colored tissue everywhere. People moved down the long tables, filling their plates with generous helpings of everything from crisp pork to raspberry pie. As she approached the tables, Addie was suddenly besieged by offers of help-"Miss Adeline, let me get some of this for you"… "Miss Adeline, could I hold your plate for you whilst you decide what you're gonna have?"

It didn't take long to realize most of the men around her were from the Sunrise Ranch. As Caroline explained it later, every cowboy from Sunrise considered it his special duty and privilege to watch over the Warner women. Addie found herself with a small crowd of men, each of whom had appointed himself as her guardian and protector, and she was both amused and touched by their antics as they vied for her attention. They were rough-cut in many ways, but their sense of chivalry couldn't be faulted. Recklessly she promised to dance with each and every one of them tomorrow night, and she laughed as they pretended to quarrel over what order they would be in.

"If I were you, there's someone in particular I'd save a dance for," Caroline murmured below the general noise, and Addie grinned cheekily, popping a tender morsel of chicken into her mouth.

"Who?"

"Look over there. The one talkin' with Mr. Fanin." Addie followed Caroline's gaze and stopped chewing in mid-bite as she saw a slim, attractive man standing by Mr. Fanin, holding a drink in one hand and gesturing with the other. He wore beige trousers, a white shirt, and a patterned vest that emphasized his broad shoulders. She couldn't see his face, but she noticed he had black hair trimmed closely at the back of the neck. Tanned skin contrasted sharply with the snowy whiteness of his turned-down collar. His very posture, confident and straight-backed, seemed to proclaim he was a dangerous man to trifle with.

Addie kept her eyes on him while she resumed chewing. "Interesting," she commented. "Who is he?"

"It's Ben, silly!"

She nearly choked on her food. "It is not!"

"Are you blind? Take another look. "

"It isn't," Addie said stubbornly, swallowing with difficulty. "Ben isn't as tall as that, or as…" Her voice withered away as he turned his head in response to someone's greeting, and she recognized his profile. "It is Ben," she said, stunned.

"I told you."

She had never seen Ben in anything but Levi's, work clothes, and a dusty hat. How had he managed to turn into that stylish, well-tailored stranger? He looked the same and yet so different she was afraid to trust her eyes. "Look at him, all dandied up," she said almost under her breath, trying to ignore the tumult in her breast.

"One handsome man, isn't he?"

"Any man looks better after bathing and putting on clean clothes."

Caroline snorted. "Oh, tell the truth, Adeline."

But Addie couldn't reply. Having sensed her amazed stare, Ben turned and looked at her, and his eyes filled with an insolent appreciation that made her pulse quicken. Then he smiled lazily and returned his attention to Mr. Fanin, as if Addie held little interest for him.

She couldn't help being tense during the rest of the barbecue, half-expecting Ben's touch on her arm or his voice in her ear. Surely he'd have to come by and say hello, if only for the sake of politeness. And when he did approach her, she would set him back on his heels in no time at all. No matter how handsome he was, she'd let him see how indifferent she was to him! But as the afternoon wore on, he made no move toward her. Addie was oddly deflated at not having the chance to talk to him. His time is his own-the Lord knows I don't care how he spends it, she thought, trying to work up some healthy disdain. Let him talk to every woman there but her. She didn't care a bit.

After the crowd had eaten its fill and the food began to settle down to overfilled stomachs, the afternoon was lazy and quiet. Voices that had previously been animated became languid, chairs tipped back, eyelids half-lowered with contentment.

“Look who's coming over," Caroline said, cleaning her plate with one last bite of ham. Tw0 young women were approaching, both of them wearing Indienne dresses made of striped cambric and cotton, the bodices cut low to reveal white muslin chemisettes underneath. The women looked vaguely familiar, but Addie had no idea what their names were. Looking down hurriedly, she lifted a hand to one of her eyes. "I can't see who it is-have something in my eye," she muttered. "Who is it?"

"It's Ruthie, and your old playmate Melissa Merrigold," Caroline said. "Melissa's going to be Ruthie's maid of honor. Are you all right?"

"Just a twisted eyelash." Addie looked up and blinked rapidly, pretending instant relief. "There. All better. Oh, Ruthie and Melissa, how are you?"

Ruthie, a pretty black-haired girl with a long, narrow face, gave her a many-toothed smile. "Just fine. Thought we'd come see how y' all liked dinner. "

"I had to get a better look at Adeline's dress," Melissa chimed in, leaning over and hugging Addie lightly, in the manner of an old friend. Melissa was tall and slender, with round blue eyes, sharp cheekbones, and long, aristocratic hands. "It's the most darlin' thing I've ever seen!"

"Thank you," Addie said, smiling at the artless flattery. She felt obligated to return the compliment. "I like your dress too, especially those little ribbons." The chemisette and the sleeves of her dress were adorned with colored bows.

Melissa fingered one of the bits of ribbon on her left sleeve, adjusting it to a perfect angle. Just then Addie saw that her pinkie was crooked at an artificial angle, as if it had once been broken and not set properly. She stared at the long white hand, her eyes widening. In a flash, she saw two little girls tossing a ball back and forth. One of them tossed it especially high in the air… "Try to catch that, Missy!" The unfortunate Melissa had caught it the wrong way, and her pinkie was broken.

"Missy…" Addie asked in a strange voice, "does that finger ever hurt you?"

Melissa grinned at her, displaying her hand in a practiced pose. "This finger?… Mah one flaw. Don't tell me you were just thinkin' of that afternoon."

"Missy?" Ruth repeated, wrinkling her brow. "I've never heard you called that before."

"Adeline's the only one who's ever called me that, " Melissa replied, smiling fondly at Addie. "She has since we were little. And no, the finger never hurts at all, it's just a little crooked. You haven't mentioned it in years, Ad."

"But I was the cause of it when I threw that ball so high-"

"No, it was me. I've always been such a clumsy thing. Never have known how to catch anything 'cept men. " She looked over at Caroline, who was shifting uncomfortably in her chair. "Caro, when's the baby due? Pretty soon, huh?"

While Caroline and Missy talked, Ruth perched on the chair by Addie's and leaned over to whisper to her, "Harlan says your daddy won't let you see his brother."

"No. Tell me, how is Jeff? I haven't seen him in days. "

"He's about ready to die from loneliness," Ruth said, her eyes twinkling. "Don't know what you've done to him. That boy, he doesn't want to even look at any girl but you."

"I haven't seen him anywhere-"

"He and his friends are busy plannin' some of the stuff for later on tonight." Ruth giggled. "It bein' Harlan's last night and all, they got to liquor up and have their- fun. But Jeff's around here somewhere. And if Harlan can be believed, Jeff's goin' to try to see you right after dinner's finished."

"Thanks, Ruthie."

After that, Addie listened with only half an ear on the conversation around her, her attention absorbed by the Johnson clan, which was gathered on the other side of the crowd.

In the center of the family sat a heavyset man with huge hands and massive jowls, his eyes bright blue, his hair dark red, and his complexion ruddy. Though he had already finished dinner, a full plate reclined on his lap, from which he picked choice bits of food. He possessed a kingly air to match his considerable proportions. It had to be Big George. She saw some of his children gathered around him, including the soon to-be-wedded Harlan, but there was still no sign of Jeff.

The crowd dispersed as the sun began to set. For the rest of the evening the men and women would be separated. The men would celebrate Harlan's last few hours of bachelorhood with liquor and ribald advice, while the women would give Ruth more presents to open, talk and giggle about men and their eccentricities, and then retire early so they would all look fresh in the morning.

Addie walked to the main house with Caroline, feeling lost, out of place. Just before they reached the steps, she saw Jeff around the corner of the house, his face urgent as he stared at her.

"Adeline," he said softly, wanting her to slip away to talk with him. She stopped and looked around quickly, wondering if anyone would notice her absence. Surely not. People's minds were on the evening ahead.

"Adeline, don't," Caroline said, laying a hand on her arm, not looking at Jeff. "It's not worth it. Daddy's gonna find out."

"Not if you don't tell him."

Caroline's voice sharpened with irritation. "I won't, but he'll find out anyway. Don't be a fool."

"I can make my own decisions." Addie drew her arm away. "I won't be long, Caro."

"I could just shake you," Caroline muttered, walking up the steps without looking back, while Addie sneaked away with Jeff in search of privacy.

The best they could do was the blacksmith shop, a tiny shed located near the tin shop and storage buildings. It was stocked with branding irons, horseshoes, hammers, pliers and other tools, and two anvils. The air inside smelled of oil and iron. As soon as the little door was closed, Jeff pulled Addie into his arms and held her so tightly she could hardly breathe. "I've missed you," he said over and over again, raining kisses over her face, his hands biting as he pulled her against his body. His violence was unexpected. Addie was passive in his arms for a few seconds. Then she tried to push him away, squirming uncomfortably.

"Jeff," she said with a half-laugh, turning her face to avoid his mouth, "you're going to crush me." She wrinkled her nose as she caught a whiff of his sour breath. "What have you been drinking? I think you've had a little too much, slicker."

"I was gonna go crazy if I didn't see you soon," he muttered against her neck, his arms wrapped around her. "I was gonna do something… kidnap you,or-"

"Jeff, you're holding me too tight."

"I haven't held you for so long. Your father's got a hell of a lot to answer for."

"What do you mean? For keeping us apart?"

"Yes, and for buildin' that damn fence. He's bargaining for trouble, and he's gonna get what he's asking for."

"Now, wait a minute." Addie rose quickly to Russell's defense. "I don't like the fence either, but-"

"No one does. He's ridin' too high these days, honey. He has no right to hide you away from me. Don't you worry, it won't be for long."

"But he has a right to be angry. What about your men attacking three of ours, including our foreman-"

"We're not gonna argue now," Jeff said, his lips moving along the side of her neck. "Holy Moses, you like to argue just for the sake of arguin'."

"But you seem to think-"

"I need you. Be sweet for me, Adeline. Oh, I've needed you for weeks. Be sweet." His hand closed over her breast, causing her to jump.

"Stop it!" She pushed his hand away, feeling the heat rise in her face. Suddenly everything had gone wrong. All of her gladness to see him disappeared. "I came out here to talk with you and find out how you've been."

"You came out here 'cause you want me," Jeff said thickly. "And I want you too. It doesn't matter what your father does. I'm gonna have you, Adeline. I always wanted you more than anyone else. And no one's gonna stand in our way. My daddy'll make sure of it." He reached for her bodice again, trying to smother her protests with his mouth. Addie was infuriated by his clumsy groping.

"You sound like a little boy," she said, trying to twist away from him, "bragging about what his daddy's going to do for him… stop that, Jeff! I'm sorry I came out here with you, if this is… Ow!" Her head bumped against the wall as she struggled, and her scalp burned. His arms drew around her tightly. "You're hurting me," she gasped, lunging toward the door, almost toppling both of them over.

"I love you," he muttered, searching roughly for the fastenings of her dress. "Adeline… I need you."

"Don't!" Her anger mixed with fear as she realized he was out of control. The back of her head was forced against the wall by the pressure of his kiss. How far was he going to push her? She could call for help, but oh, what humiliation it might cause her and the family, and the trouble it would stir up! Why was he forcing her to make the choice?

"Please," she choked, turning her face as his lips slid across her cheek. His groping fingers popped some of the buttons on her dress. "Jeff… listen to me…"

She felt something hard press against her forehead, something metallic that swung gently. A horseshoe, hanging from a nail. Addie focused on the scrap of metal, straining to pull her wrists out of Jeff's grasp. It wouldn't be difficult to hit him with it as soon as she could get her hands free. But how hard? How much was enough to stop him without killing him?

"Jeff, what's the matter with you?" She pushed at him, infuriated, as she felt his knee thrust between her legs. "Don't make me hurt you. I will, Jeff-don't force me." He seemed not to hear her, his mouth hot on her skin as he covered her throat with kisses. Then his grip on her wrists loosened, and she reached for the horseshoe. Simultaneously the door swung open and a fast-moving shadow slipped into the shed.

Jeff was grabbed by the scruff of the neck and hauled away from her. Addie stumbled forward until his grip on her was broken. She retreated to the wall, her eyes dilating as she tried to see through the darkness. There was the sound of a brief skirmish, a man's heavy grunt of pain, the sound of a body hitting the ground.

"Who is it?" Addie asked tremulously, gripping the horseshoe so hard the tips of her fingers were numb. "Jeff? Jeff…"

She heard his pained gasps as he sat up, and Ben's voice, so cold and soft that it sent chills down her spine. "Horny little son of a bitch. If you lay a finger on her again, I'll kill you."

"You have no right," Jeff muttered.

"I have every right. It's my job to protect all Warner property, including her. Now, get out, or I'll finish this here and now. "

"I'll fix your hash real good for this, Hunter."

Ben snorted in disgust. "I hope you try."

Frozen, Addie watched the doorway as Jeff left. She sighed shakily. Ben closed the door with his foot and walked over to her, stopping a few inches away. She could just make out the outline of his head and shoulders. Although he was ominously quiet, she sensed the dark fury that consumed him. She dared not breathe a word. Without warning he took hold of her wrist, squeezing until she gasped in surprise and dropped the horseshoe. Pulling her arm away, she rubbed her sore wrist, bewildered.

"If y-you hadn't come in here," she stammered, "he might have-"

"There was a time," he said icily, "when I wouldn't have bothered."

"Ben… th-thank you for…" She shrank against the wall as he came closer. The familiar scent and shape of him did nothing to reassure her. Why was he so quiet? Why was she starting to sense that the real danger was just beginning? "Jeff acted so strange," she said, swallowing hard. "He was too liquored up to hear me. I think he was trying to-"

"And what if he had? What if he had raped you?"

"I wouldn't have let him."

"Do you think anyone would have heard you scream with all the music and drinking going on?"

"I was going to hit him with-"

"That horseshoe? Did you happen to notice how easy it was for me to take it away from you? Do you think it would've been any different for him?"

"Maybe."

"Or maybe not," he said savagely. "And if he'd succeeded in getting what he wanted, you would have run to Daddy with the news, and then all hell would have broken loose. You little fool. Don't you realize we're on the brink of a range war as it is? You almost provided everyone with the perfect excuse to start it. They're all waiting for the first opportunity, your father included." His hands closed around her upper arms, tightening as she gave a cry of pain.

"Ben, let go of me!"

"Do you like the idea of causing all that bloodshed?" he snarled. "Men dying over you, blood being spilled… does that appeal to your vanity?"

She flinched and shook her head wildly. "No. I didn't think about any of that. I just wanted to-"

"You wanted to prove to Russ that you're a big girl. And to hell with what he asked of you. Jesus, you think the world revolves around you, and you've got everyone else convinced of it! What have you done to make us all insane over you? Are you worth all the trouble you're trying to cause, Addie? Damn you, I've had enough of wondering!"

Her heart jumped with fear, and she made a move to escape. He caught her rigid body against his, easily holding her prisoner. Jeff had been strong, but not like this. Trying to fight Ben was useless. His muscles were as hard as steel, his body as tough as rawhide. "Now that you've gotten rid of Jeff," she gasped, "are you planning to take his place?"

"There's a big difference between him and me, darlin'." He sneered. "The consequences if he takes you are a lot different than if I do. If you need a man so badly you have to sneak out here with him, I'm more than willing to satisfy you. We're all better off if I'm the one who does it."

"I hate you." Wedging her hands against his chest, she shoved as hard as she could, managing to knock them both off balance. As they fell to the ground, Ben twisted to take the shock of the fall for both of them. Then Addie gave a muffled cry as he rolled on top of her. She tried to strike him, but he was too quick, catching her wrists and pinning them over her head. Outraged, she continued to struggle, stretched out underneath him while the ravaged neckline of her bodice sagged.

"Stop it, Ben! I've had to put up with enough of this for one night! If you don't let me go, I'm going to have you fired first thing tomorrow m-"

"Shut up."

"I will not! You let me go, you stinking bully-"

"I said shut up!" His tone was so vicious that Addie was startled into silence. "Count yourself lucky I'm trying to remember your father right now. It's only out of respect for him that I'm not going to give you what you deserve. Dammit, stop wiggling!'

Her eyes had become accustomed to the darkness, and she glared at him furiously. "If you're not going to give me what I deserve, then get off me!" His response was to straddle her and dig his lips into hers. Even through her skirts she could feel the hard, protruding shape of him wedged between her thighs. The feel of him there, pressed against her so hard that their bodies seemed meshed together, made her tremble. Warm weakness seeped outward and upward from her loins, irrepressible, relentless.

No. She couldn't feel such a thing, not for Ben Hunter… her enemy… he was deadly… he was forbidden. In a sharp move she brought her knee up, trying to disarm him. Deftly he shifted so her knee struck the inside of this thigh, which was as solid and unyielding as a tree trunk. He pulled up the billows of her skirts and used his knees to spread her pantalet-encased legs wide.

"Is this what you're so anxious to avoid?" he demanded, lowering his hips to hers, and she gasped. He was startlingly turgid and hot as he pressed against her. "Because this, " he continued, grinding his loins harder into hers, sending shock waves through her body, "is the result of all your little smiles and schemes, Addie-"

"I've never tried to arouse you on purpose-"

"You can do it to a man just by looking at him, and you know it. Hell, I don't blame Jeff for wanting you. It's the little game you play, making a man crazy with need for you and then freezing him out. "

"No! I don't!" Addie stared up at him through the darkness, shaking with unfamiliar emotions. She was stunned by his violent anger. What had she done to make him so furious?

Ben's face loomed above her. His eyes gleamed like a eat's as he took note of the labored hiss of her breath and the curving of her fingers into claws. "You'd scratch my eyes out if you could," he muttered.

"Worse than that," she said, aware he was toying with her, hating him for it. "I'm going to make you pay for treating me like-"

His mouth slammed down on hers. It was a kiss of anger, not passion, meant to show her who was master. She groaned and fought him with all her strength. After nearly a minute had passed by, she realized how useless it was and went limp, surrendering. Finally Ben stopped and lifted his head, the harsh puffs of his breath striking her cheek. She knew his lips had to feel as bruised as hers did, but the thought gave her little comfort.

"Are you finished now?" she gasped. "You proved you're a big strong man. I'm sure you're satisfied. You won. There's just one thing I want to make clear. I heard what you said to Jeff a few minutes ago. Don't you ever call me property again. I'm not anyone's property, not my father's, and not yours. So remove your paws and get the hell off me!"

He glared down at her, unimpressed by her fury. "When I'm ready."

"What do you want me to do?" she exploded. "Pretend I enjoy this?"

"Maybe. Yeah, let's try that."

"Go to hell! The only thing I feel for you is disgust. "

He was silent for a few seconds, looking over her and then shaking his head as if to clear his mind. "I guess you do. But tonight I haven't exactly been enchanted by you, either."

He shifted his weight off her, letting go of her wrists and fitting his thigh over her hips to keep her pinned down. Suddenly she could breathe again. Her arms fell by her sides, tingling as the blood began to circulate through them. She lay still, waiting for him to release her, trying to gather her wits.

Ben's eyes flickered over her chest as it rose and fell rapidly. Even bound in stays and tangled up in skirts as Addie was, there was no mistaking the enticing shape of her body. He couldn't help but recall the feel of her breasts crushed against his chest, the soft cradle of her hips. His anger vanished just as quickly as it had been roused, replaced by a purely masculine interest. He should be fired on the spot for what he'd just done to her, for the way he was lying over her right now with his thigh slung over her. Russell would string him up by the balls if he knew.

And yet, somehow he was certain Russell wasn't going to find out. Not if Ben's instincts concerning Addie were right. If she felt anything similar to what he was feeling, she wasn't altogether sorry she was in here alone with him. Of course, she'd never admit it. Ben looked down at her, debating his next move. Let her up and apologize? It would probably be best… but something inside rebelled at the thought of letting her go just yet. As long as he had her at his mercy, why not take advantage of it? She wouldn't hate him any less. And to hell with his scruples. He wanted her so badly he was about to burst into flames.

"You're sure disgust is all you feel, Addie?"

"Yes," she said sullenly.

"Not meaning to contradict you, darlin', but a little while ago I could have sworn you felt something very different from disgust. Just for a few seconds, you-"

"I don't care what you like to imagine, I didn't feel anything!" By now Addie was thoroughly humiliated, longing for the entire episode to be over. To compound her confusion, Ben bent over her and kissed the tip of her nose, as if they'd just had a friendly argument. Addie was utterly bewildered. There was never any way to predict what he might do.

"I'm sorry for calling you property," he murmured. "I didn't mean it."

"You did, or you wouldn't have said it. You're like all the other men around here. I can't abide the attitude you have toward women."

His lips smoothed over her eyebrow, then touched her eyelid in a butterfly caress. "Then help me change."

"I… I don't c-care if you change or not. I just want…" Her heart began to hammer in her chest as he kissed her chin. What was he doing to her?

"You want what?" he prompted, sliding his arm underneath her neck. She tried to push him away. But now that he had her in his grasp, he wasn't about to let her go.

"I want you to l-leave me alone."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," she said faintly.

"Think I could change your mind?" His voice was as raspy as a cat's tongue, the sound of it sending shivers down her spine. She blinked, forgetting what he'd asked until he repeated the question.

Shaking her head jerkily, Addie made a move to get up. "You didn't say you were s-sorry for k-kissing me."

"I'm not."

"It hurt."

"That I'm sorry for." He picked up one of her hands and brought it to his jaw, stroking the back of her knuckles against it. The gentle scrape sent an electric shock down to her toes. "Your hand is so small." As she tried to pull it away he held it more firmly and pretended to examine the rest of her. Slowly he smiled. "Why, you're no bigger than a minute, Adeline Warner."

"Big enough to handle you," she snapped, and went scarlet as he chuckled.

"You might be at that."

"Oh, let me go, you crude, overbearing… I'll never forgive you for… No, Ben-"

"No what?"

"Don't do that.'

"Don't do what?"

"Ben-"

Her words were smothered as his mouth possessed hers, insistent and skillful, kissing her as she had never been kissed before. Feebly she tried to turn her face away, but he cradled the side of her cheek in his hand, his thumb tracing over her temple in a delicately drawn circle. He kissed her as thoroughly as he'd wanted to for weeks, exploring the inside of her mouth, savoring the texture of her inner cheeks, the ticklish spot at the roof of her mouth, stroking her tongue with his. She trembled, no longer trying to fight him, and her lips parted as she began to drown in a sea of fire. They kissed frantically, delving, tasting, consuming.

A low purr vibrated in Ben's throat, making the hairs on the back of Addie's neck rise. Her body went liquid inside. Oh, the pleasure was more than she could stand. Sensations surged together, and still she wanted more. What was she doing, here on the floor with Ben Hunter? She'd lost her mind.

"I can't think-"

"Hush. Be quiet for once." He followed the curve of her neck down to the upper rise of her breasts. Her heartbeat was rapid beneath his hand. Before she could stop him, his fingers slid underneath her dress until his hand was cupped around her breast. The friction between his palm and her bare flesh made them both gasp. His fingers flexed into the warm softness, his hand rotating until her nipple hardened and pressed into his palm. Addie moaned helplessly. She had never trusted any man with such intimacy, and it was frightening, and very good. Her mind screamed for her to stop, but the night was filled with madness, and the voice of reason had diminished into a whisper. She couldn't pull back.

His palm skimmed her ribs carefully, as if he were afraid she might break, and she arched up to him like a wanton. Her guilty, pleasured sigh filled his mouth as his hand returned to her breast, and his thumb made a slow excursion around her nipple. The sweet ache of it rippled all through her being. Writhing closer to him, she tangled her fingers in his hair and pulled his mouth harder on hers. Their tongues slid together and mated in delicious thrusts, their lips clung until they were completely sealed.

After a long time Ben lifted his head and took a deep breath in an effort to master the powerful urgings of his body. The need to take her, here and now, was almost impossible to contain. She was his obsession. He wanted to know her most private secrets, explore her until he knew her body and soul as intimately as his own. With all his experience he'd never felt so drawn to another human being, or craved to know and be known so completely. He tugged briefly at her hair, his agile fingers hunting for pins and pulling them out. The locks that had been bound up and pinned away from others' sight and touch were now his, freed and loose.

Addie wound her arms around his neck as she felt his body move over hers, settling until they were molded together. The layers of clothing that separated them did nothing to disguise his desire and her softness, the hardness of him and the yielding woman's shape of her.

Trembling, she felt him ease her gown down, lifting her breast out of its confines, his hot mouth descending to her nipple, covering, pulling, sending streaks of lightning down to the pit of her stomach. Blindly she reached for his shoulders, gripping his hard-muscled flesh as she sought to tell him without words how it felt… don't stop … don't ever stop. His tongue feathered over her lightly, learned the tender hard texture of her.

"Adeline," he whispered, moving back up to her lips and kissing her without restraint. "Don't hold yourself back from me. I won't hurt you." She shivered in his arms, her breath rapid and hot against his neck. His hand wandered down her body, beyond her waist, underneath her pantalets. She tensed as his fingertips searched her gently.

"No… I shouldn't be letting you-"

"But you are," he said into the curve of her shoulder. "And I shouldn't want you. But I do."

"Ben," she gasped, "Please-"

"No one will ever know you like I'm going to, Addie. You can keep the rest of the world at bay, but you're going to let me inside. You understand what's happening between us. You know nothing is going to stop it, no matter what either of us may do." She moaned as he found the tender spot he had been seeking, as he brought her to the fine edge between pleasure and madness. "I want you to remember this," he said, crushing the words against her mouth. "Remember every time you think of me."

She clung to him tightly, her hips arching upward. "Much as I'd like to, I'm not going to take you here," he muttered, burying his face in her hair. "If for no other reason than because he would have." Sighing tautly, Ben withdrew his hand from between her thighs, bestowing a longing caress on her abdomen before pulling her skirts back into place. He looked around the shadowy little building as if noticing their surroundings for the first time. His lip curled with disgust. "A blacksmith shop."

Aching and frustrated, Addie shifted underneath him, her breath ragged. Ben smiled, pulling her into his arms and pressing her head against his shoulder, holding her until her quivering had stopped. The unsatisfied wanting was just as painful for him.

"I have to go back to Sunrise tomorrow after the wedding," he said, trying to sound casual. "Someone has to look after the ranch, and right now I don't trust it out of my hands more than a day or two. If you don't want to undergo a repeat of Jeff's performance tonight, then stay close to your father and your family. "

"What if…" She paused and gulped hard before continuing, "What if I don't want a repeat of your performance?"

"What if you don't?" He sounded interested by the idea, and he nibbled lightly at the juncture of her neck and shoulder as he gave it due consideration. "I guess we'll find the answer to that when we're both back at Sunrise. "

He was humoring her. She knew he had no doubt she'd still want him later. Even now she had to fight against the urge to nestle against him. Instead she wriggled in protest, pulling her shoulder away until he stopped nibbling.

“And don't be surprised to find some of the Sunrise hands keeping an eye on you. Before I leave, I'm going to make sure they understand there'll be hell to pay if he comes within a hundred feet of you. If I find out he's done so much as look at you, I'll make him regret it sorely.”

"Even at the risk of starting a range war?" she asked in a muffled voice, and he smiled grimly, amused by her feeble attempt at sarcasm.

"That's right. And if it has to start over you, darlin', you're looking at the man who 'll fire the first shot."

After Addie had restored her appearance as best she could, she spoke to May privately and pleaded a headache in order to avoid the rest of the evening. She couldn't face anyone right now, not when her thoughts were in a whirl and her head aching with confusion. Having gone to bed early, she lay in bed on her stomach with her arms clenched around a pillow, staring blindly at the wall. The Fanins' house was comfortable but hardly as elegant as the ranch house at Sunrise. The rooms here were small and plainly furnished, the beds lumpy and even a little musty. Leah was asleep in the bed against the opposite wall. They were sharing the room next to the one Caroline and Peter occupied.

Addie didn't want to think about what had happened that night, but she couldn't wish it away, and she couldn't forget about it. She kept hearing Jeff's voice, and what he'd said about Russell. "He's riding too high these days, honey. He has no right to hide you away from me … don't you worry, it won't be long …"

What had he meant by that?

"A little-boy threat," she whispered. "A frustrated little boy who wasn't getting his way. It couldn't have been more than that."

She sighed and rubbed her forehead, moving down to the comers of her eyes and pressing the pads of her fingers there. She closed her eyes and her mind continued to wander. Slowly the darkness behind her eyes became endlessly deep, and the echo of a husky voice came back to torment her.

“Addie, don't hold yourself back from me. I won't hurt you. " A warm mouth sliding over her skin, a hard body promising ecstasy as it fitted close against hers. "No one will ever know you like I'm going to. You can keep the rest of the world at bay, but you're going to let me inside. "

Addie writhed and sat up with an indrawn breath, her heart thumping. "Stop it," she whispered tightly. "Stop it."

Ben was her enemy. She wouldn't let him kill Russell. She couldn't let him tear her defenses down. Russell was her father, her real father, and his life was her responsibility. It was time to start doing something about it.

She would have to warn Russell. Somehow she'd have to find away. Addie stood up and paced back and forth across the room, her nightgown billowing out behind her. She tried to imagine Ben plotting to kill Russell, waiting until the new will was signed, and then creeping up to Russell's room and committing the murder. It was almost too logical and obvious a plan, and it bothered Addie. Ben would have to know he'd be the first one everyone suspected. Surely he'd be more subtle than that.

And then there were the Johnsons, who hated Russell. A lot of outfits would like to get their hands on the Sunrise Ranch, tear down its fences, and take possession of its livestock and water rights. Just about everyone around, in fact. But more than anyone else, the Double Bar did. Maybe the Johnsons were in on the murder.

She stopped in her tracks as she remembered Jeff's words again. "He's riding too high these days, honey … don't you worry, it won't be long …"

That was a threat, plain and simple. There was little doubt in her mind that Jeff and Big George wanted Russell out of the way just as much as Ben did. Were they all planning it together?

"No." She shook her downbent head in confusion. "Ben hates the Johnsons. He'd never plan anything with them. And he loves Russell. He wouldn't kill him. I can't believe he would." She didn't want to believe it.

But Russell would have to be killed by an insider, someone who knew about his sleeping habits and which room was his, and how to get through the house. Someone who didn't have to get past the line riders that protected the property around the clock. It had to be Ben, especially since-according to history-he would leave town after the murder and never come back.

"Oh, Ben, that's not you. It's not you." She leaned against the wall and bit her lip.

Strong hands, touching her gently, coaxing purest fire to blossom inside her. "I want you to remember this. Remember every time you think of me. "

Why is this happening to me?" she whispered in agony. "What have I done to be put through this? I'm still Addie Peck… but I'm Adeline Warner too. I'm remembering things from two different lifetimes, and I don't know which me is real." She fell silent as she saw the small figure stirring on the other bed, looking like a lump under the sheets. Leah had awakened.

"Aunt Adeline?" she said sleepily.

"Yes, Leah?" Slowly Addie walked over to her, trying to compose herself.

In I930, Leah said that Aunt Adeline had been a schemer, materialistic and selfish. The memory of Aunt Adeline had made Leah uneasy. Why? What had Leah seen or heard to make her feel that way?

The child yawned and rolled over, staring at her with heavy-lidded eyes. "What are you walkin' around for?"

"I'm sorry I bothered you. I couldn't sleep. I was thinking about a hundred things, and I just had to get up."

"What were you thinkin' about?"

"Someone."

"I saw you go off with Jeff Johnson today," Leah said, those dark eyes losing all traces of sleepiness. "You're thinkin' about him, aren't you?"

"You saw me with… but… I thought all the children were playing by the corral."

"I came back early. I was followin' you and Mama into the house, and then you stopped an' sneaked off with Jeff Johnson. Mama said I shouldn't tell anyone, or you'd get it from Grampa."

"Yes, I would," Addie said ruefully. "I'd rather you didn't tell anyone. Why are you wrinkling your nose like that?"

"Why'd you sneak off with him?"

"I had to talk with him, Leah."

The girl wrinkled her nose again, as if she had smelled something unpleasant. "Oh."

"What's the matter? You don't like Jeff? Why not?"

"You told me not to say why."

"Oh… I…" Addie paused and looked down at her, while curiosity leapt inside her. "I don't remember telling you that, Leah."

"You said it was our secret."

It took all of Addie's strength to swallow down her sudden raging impatience and keep from shaking the secret out of the child. She smiled and sat down on the bed, keeping her tone light. "Well, if you don't refresh my memory, I really won't be able to get to sleep. Why would I forget such a thing? Tell me what our secret is. "

"Aunt Adeline, I'm tired-"

"Tell me, and then we'll both be able to go to sleep."

"Don't you remember? I was hidin' under the veranda, and you and Jeff were in the porch swing, talkin'. "

"Was it in the morning or evening?"

"Evenin'."

"Was it a long time ago, or a short time?"

"Short time," Leah said solemnly.

"What were we saying?"

"You were talkin', real quiet, tellin' Jeff things about Grampa and Ben… and…"

"And what?"

"And a will. Grampa's will. And I made a noise, and you got real mad when you saw I was there. Don't you remember?"

"I… maybe a little." Addie closed her eyes, feeling dizzy. Russell's will.

Rushing down the porch steps, grabbing the frozen, dumbstruck child by the shoulders, hearing her own voice, soft and terrible in its icy rage. "What did you hear? What did you hear?" And then, gentle and cajoling and cunning: "Don't cry, Leah. I've decided you're a big girl now, old enough to share a grown-up secret. What you heard is our secret, Leah…and you can't tell anybody …"

That was all she could remember.

"What was I saying about Grampa and Ben?"

Leah turned her face to the wall. "I don't want to talk about it."

Slowly Addie leaned over and kissed Leah's forehead. "I'm sorry if! scared you when I got mad then."

"It's okay, Aunt Adeline. Is it still our secret?"

"Yes, please, Leah," she replied, her voice thin, insubstantial. "You have sweet dreams, you hear?"

The child turned over and flopped onto her own pillow, sighing.

Her knees weak, Addie walked to her own bed and sat down.

Why would I be telling Jeff about the will? There was no reason to. Unless … unless I was plotting something with Jeff. Oh, but I couldn't have been. Not about the will. Why, that would mean…

Suspicion spread through her like poison. Wilfully she tried to deny it.

I was-am-Russell's daughter. I wouldn't do anything to hurt him, no matter what I was like before. I know I wouldn't.

"My God, what's going on?" she said through dry lips.

What kind of a person had she been before she had returned to Sunrise?

A schemer. And maybe something far worse.