Hitched

28

The Timber family had never known such hysteria. They usually reacted to any of life’s upheavals in a quiet reserved manner. Not this time.

Tracy was sprawled on the couch in the family room of her parents’ gracious Connecticut home, gulping her second cosmopolitan. Her face was streaked with tears. Montgomery, Tracy ’s dear old dad, had built a fire in the large stone hearth even though it wasn’t really cold. It gave him something to do, and he thought it would offer comfort.

“Dear, I think you’d better slow up your drinking,” Tracy ’s mother, Ellen, advised. “You haven’t touched any of your chicken with cashews. I ordered that specially for you.”

“My life is ruined,” Tracy slurred.

“No, it’s not,” Montgomery insisted. “You’re a Timber. You can do a lot better than Jeffrey Woodall and you know it!”

“I just hope that detective, Regan Reilly, discovers something about Jeffrey that ruins his life!” Tracy spewed. “I hope they find out he cheated on his taxes and they send him to jail!” She took another large sip of the pink elixir.

Tracy ’s mother shook her head. “I just don’t understand what happened. He must have gotten cold feet.”

“Don’t ever take him back!” Montgomery barked. “You are a Timber! Always remember you are a Timber! You are proud! Our family fought in the American Revolution. Never forget that!”

Tracy raised her right hand. “I’m a Timber. And it looks like I’m never going to be anything else.”

Tracy ’s sister, Adele, was curled up in an overstuffed chair, examining her hair for split ends. “You’re going to be so happy about this in a few months, believe me! You dodged a bullet. I can’t believe he actually kept a record of how much he spent taking you out to dinner before you got engaged. What a creep.”

“I want revenge!”

Ellen nodded. “That Regan Reilly is a lovely girl. I’m sure if there’s anything to find out about Jeffrey, she will. But, dear, what does it matter?”

“It matters a lot. I want him to suffer like I’m suffering right now. I want him to feel pain!”

Ellen sat down next to her daughter. “Grandma called earlier when you were soaking in the tub.”

Tracy frowned. “All she’s been saying since I got engaged was that she was so happy she was alive to see me get married.”

“That’s true,” Ellen agreed. “But at ninety-two she’s still going strong. She told me something that I never knew. She said she wanted you to know that before she married Grandpa, she got dumped, too.”

Adele’s split ends no longer held as much interest. “Grandma got dumped?” she repeated, her voice rising.

“I never knew it. But she said there was a boy who proposed to her, and they told everyone they were engaged to be married, and then he ran off with a new girl who moved to town. Grandma was happy to report that they experienced nothing but misery their whole lives. She, of course, married Grandpa and lived happily ever after.”

“Good for Grandma!” Adele enthused.

“Grandma also said that she couldn’t imagine life without your grandfather. And she reminded me that I wouldn’t have been born if she had married her first fiancé, which means you wouldn’t have been born either.”

“So someday I’ll have a kid who wouldn’t have been born if I weren’t in misery right now.”

“Exactly. Which goes to show-”

“Goes to show what? The man I was in love with doesn’t want me!” Tracy started to sob yet again.

The doorbell rang.

Montgomery, happy to get out of the room, ran for the front door. When he opened it, Tracy ’s three best friends were standing there.

Catherine Heaney, Tracy ’s closest friend since college, spoke first. “Mr. Timber, I know that Tracy said she didn’t want to see anyone. But we’re her girlfriends, and this is the girlfriend ambulance. We’re here to take her out and we’re not taking no for an answer.”

“Please!” Montgomery said ecstatically. “That sounds like a great idea!”

When they entered the den, and Tracy saw the three girls who would have been her bridesmaids, she burst into another round of tears. They rushed over, and the four sorority sisters huddled together.

“I never liked him.”

“Not good enough for you.”

“Boring.”

In the background, Adele was shaking her head in earnest agreement. “Stuffy,” she added. “Uptight.”

“Quiet, Adele,” Ellen reprimanded her daughter.

“We’re taking you out,” Catherine told Tracy.

“I can’t go out,” Tracy sniffled.

“You have to. You can’t just sit here and be miserable.”

“But I’m humiliated! I don’t want to run into anyone I know!” Tracy wailed.

“We figured that,” Catherine said. “So we’re taking you to a biker bar a couple miles out of town. It’s a dump, but they have a dart-board!” Catherine pulled an unflattering picture of Jeffrey out of her purse that she’d blown up to eight by ten. “We’re going to pin his mug over the bull’s eye.”

Tracy looked at the picture. It took her a moment to react, but she started to laugh like she hadn’t for a very long time. “This is just the beginning,” she vowed as she got to her feet, somewhat unsteadily. “I’m going to live to make him regret what he did if it takes me the rest of my life,” she said with a hiccup, half laughing, half crying.

Ellen sighed. “ Tracy dear. Just go out and have a good time. Think of how well getting dumped turned out for Grandma.”