Hitched

48

Up in Connecticut, Ellen and Montgomery Timber were relieved that Tracy was not awake for the Patrick and Jeannie show. And they’d hidden their copy of the New York Post under the kitchen sink.

Tracy and her friends had been out until four in the morning, playing darts until Jeffrey’s face was full of holes. Then they’d all come back to the house and crashed. The four of them had pulled the mattress from the guest room and dragged it down the hall and onto the floor at the foot of Tracy ’s double bed. Tracy and Catherine slept in Tracy ’s bed, Claire and Linda slumbered on the mattress. They all wanted to sleep in the same room, like the nights in college when they had stayed up late discussing their lives and attempting to solve each others’ problems. Most of the chatfests involved their love lives.

Not much had changed in twelve years.

When they awoke, Catherine volunteered to rustle up a pot of coffee. She knew that it was going to be a tough day for Tracy no matter how many holes they’d pierced in Jeffrey’s face.

Down in the kitchen, Tracy ’s parents were having breakfast. Ellen was perfectly dressed and made-up. She wouldn’t be caught dead lounging around in an old bathrobe. As usual, she greeted Catherine with a big smile. “Did you girls have fun last night?”

“We tried. I’m on a caffeine patrol,” Catherine answered. “We’ll help Tracy ease into the day with a cup of coffee.”

“Catherine Heaney, Tracy couldn’t have a better friend than you,” Montgomery proclaimed. He loved to call people by their first and last names.

“She’s my best friend and doesn’t deserve to be treated like this by that creep.”

“She doesn’t,” Ellen agreed. “But I’m afraid we have a new problem.”

“What?” Catherine asked with alarm.

Ellen opened the cabinet under the kitchen sink, pulled out the New York Post, and held it up. “They printed Tracy ’s name. And it’s been announced on television. Several reporters have already called the house asking for a comment. We’ve told them the truth- Tracy ’s asleep.”

Catherine’s mouth nearly hit the floor. “This is exactly what Tracy was afraid of.”

“We know,” Tracy ’s parents said in unison.

Catherine took a deep breath. Then another. Finally she said, “Mr. and Mrs. Timber, the four of us upstairs have been together for twelve years. During that time we’ve been through thick and thin. I’ll break it to Tracy for you. Between us, we’ll come up with a graceful way for Tracy to handle this. She’ll be fine.”

Ellen hugged Catherine. They assembled a tray with a coffeepot filled to the brim with steaming fresh java, four mugs, milk, sugar, and Tracy ’s favorite croissants, which her father had run out and bought early in the morning.

Catherine put both hands around the tray. The copy of the New York Post was under her arm. “ Tracy ’s a big girl,” she said as she headed out of the room. “She’ll be just fine.”

“She’s a Timber,” Montgomery agreed.

About a minute and a half later, Tracy ’s bloodcurdling scream echoed through the house. “I’ll sue him!” she cried.

Tracy ’s parents looked at each other.

“That’s our daughter,” Montgomery said matter-of-factly.

Ellen nodded. “Would you like another cup of coffee, dear?”