Hold On To Me

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Simone pulled into the dark parking lot of the storage facility and reached for her bracelet from the passenger seat. She stopped at the gate, rolled down the driver’s window, and looked at the engraving on the inside of the bracelet, hoping the numbers she was focused on were an access code and unit number.

Holding her breath, she punched the code into the security panel and waited. A hum echoed, then the gate began to roll to the right. Pulse racing, she pulled through the entrance and watched the gate close behind her in the rearview mirror.

She’d called Ryan’s parents’ cell phones, but neither had answered. Frantic, she’d left messages telling them not to let Mitch or Ryan take Shannon anywhere if they came after her. She knew she’d sounded paranoid, and that once they woke up they were going to wonder what the hell was going on, but there was nothing she could do about that now. First she had to get Steve’s evidence, then she’d head right to the airport and get on a flight. And in a couple of hours, she and Shannon would be as far from this nightmare as they possibly could be.

Her eyes searched numbers on the buildings as she passed, her windshield wipers brushing the raindrops away. Her hands grew sweaty as she swept by unit after unit. She didn’t have time to waste looking. She needed to get it—whatever it was—and leave. Her pulse shot up when her gaze landed on 27B, and she slammed on the brakes.

Steve’s unit wasn’t one of the outside ones with the giant garage door. No, of course it couldn’t be that easy. Frowning, she shoved the car into park, killed the ignition and grabbed the keys. After pushing the door open, she ducked her head in the rain, slammed the door, and raced toward the main door in the middle of the building that led to the inner units.

Luckily, the outer door was unlocked, the entry illuminated by fluorescent lights above. Stepping inside, she shook the rain from her hair, then quickly scanned the cement walls and headed to the right, looking for 27B.

Locked, silver garage-style doors lined both sides of the hall. She searched numbers, not finding hers, and reached another heavy steel door.

She pulled it open and reached for the light switch on the wall. Lights clicked on in this section of the building, illuminating the next hallway. She took two steps, then spotted it, three doors down on the left.

Her pulse was a whir in her ears as she reached for the lock waist-high on the edge of the door. There were no other numbers on the inside of the bracelet. Hands sweating, she dialed in the same access code to the storage site, hoping it worked on the combination lock too.

The lock clicked and slid open. Surprised, she pulled it from the hook, grabbed the handle near the floor, and tugged the door up and over her head.

The unit was empty but for one box sitting on the cold concrete in the middle of the massive room. She moved inside, slid the bracelet onto her wrist, and swiped her sweaty palms against the thighs of her jeans.

Emotions swirled inside her—anger for what Steve had put her and Shannon through, betrayal that he could have kept so much from her, stupidity that she’d fallen for it all. But mostly disbelief that he hadn’t just told her what was really going on. Was she so unbending that he thought she wouldn’t understand? She’d known he’d loved her and Shannon. That kind of emotion couldn’t be faked, even if he’d lied about everything else. Yeah, she might have been upset at first, but she would have worked through it and could have actually helped him. He had to know that she’d never just abandon him.

Isn’t that what you just did to Mitch?

Simone’s stomach rolled, sending an icy chill along her skin. Slowly, because her head was suddenly spinning, she knelt in front of the box, leaned back on her heels, and stared at the cardboard.

This was different. Mitch was a Cypher. Part of the same organization that was willing to kill for whatever was in this box.

So was Steve.

Mitch had lied to her.

So did Steve.

Sweat broke out across her forehead, and she swiped at it, her stomach shifting all over again. Steve had lied to keep her safe. The less she knew the better… That was what he’d always said. Mitch had purposely kept secrets from her, right from the start. Because he wanted what was in this box.

Words he’d said last night, when he’d come into the kitchen with that photograph in his hand, echoed in Simone’s head.

“He had you. He had Shannon. He had everything I’ve wanted since I met you, and he let you go without a fight. I’m not gonna make the same mistake.”

Tears burned her eyes, and she closed them quickly, fighting back the doubt. Her heart felt like it was breaking all over again, only this time, she didn’t know what to do next.

She opened her eyes, blinked through blurry vision, and focused on the box again. Something deep inside told her Mitch would never hurt her, that he loved her, that he had a reason for not being honest, but her mind, that logical part that needed evidence to prove an argument, warned she’d let her emotions lead her once before, and that was why she now found herself in the middle of this nightmare.

Blowing out a slow breath, she reached for the box lid, hoping something inside would tell her what she needed to know.

She lifted the lid and set it on the ground. Inside, there was one small file folder, a metal box, and a key.

She reached for the key and slid it in the lock on the metal box. Her breath caught when she looked inside. A gun and a box of ammunition.

Her hands were sweating when she sat back. Steve had owned a gun, but it wasn’t this one. His was a Beretta, in a lockbox in her house. This was a Smith & Wesson, black, sleek, brand-new, and—as she looked closer—fully loaded.

Swallowing hard, she reached for the folder, pulled it out, and opened it on her lap.

There was a note at the front, scribbled in Steve’s handwriting, but she bypassed that and flipped through the pages behind it, her brow wrinkling when she realized it was medical records. His medical records. He’d circled doctor’s chart notes and marked in red next to them, questioning the diagnosis and treatment plan, suggesting other alternative causes for his illness. And everywhere the word arsenic? popped up.

Bile slid up Simone’s throat. She paged faster through the records, then stilled when she found the e-mail correspondences at the end. Numerous printouts from a L.D. to a W.H. Some cc’d to a C.M., but not all. Each one, though, was centered on a discussion about Steve, how he’d turned on the Cyphers and what they were going to do about that. She couldn’t find the word arsenic in any of the e-mails, but she did see three words that made her blood run cold: accident, home invasion, and poison.

Her fingers shook as she flipped back through the file and found Steve’s note.

Simone,

If you found this, it means things didn’t end as I’d hoped. William Holdt, the US marshal assigned to my case, is a Cypher, but don’t worry, he’s on our side. The Cyphers have members everywhere, and though he was originally tasked with getting rid of me, he helped me instead. Not everyone within the organization is tainted, darling, only a few bad apples near the top who are hungry for power.

I haven’t been able to figure out how they got to me, and neither has Will, but we know my illness isn’t really cancer. It’s something else, though we haven’t been able to pinpoint what. I saved all this for you, just in case, and I have faith you’ll be able to figure out what I couldn’t. It’s the best defense you have in case they come after you because of me, but I’m hoping you don’t need it. The gun is unregistered. No one will ever connect it to you. Keep it with you at all times.

I loved you, Simone. I know you don’t believe that right now, but it’s true. I only ever wanted you and Shannon to be safe. If I could go back and change one thing, it would be that I would have walked away the day you told me you were pregnant. Not because I didn’t want you or the child we created, but because it would have kept you safe. I’m sorry I was selfish. I’m sorry that I put you through all this. But mostly, I’m sorry that I’m not with you now. You made my life worth living, and everything I did from the day you became my wife, I did because I was trying to protect you. If you only believe one thing, darling, please believe that.

~Steve

Simone blinked back tears, read the letter again, then a third time, still trying to process everything. Her mind skipped back to the conversation with Ryan in Tahoe about Steve’s doctor and how he’d suspected from looking at Steve’s records that something about his illness hadn’t been right. She should have questioned those doctors. If she’d done that…

If she’d done that, she might be dead now too. Her stomach pitched again, and her eyes focused on Steve’s note. Not all within the organization are tainted… Closing her eyes, she drew a deep breath and thought of Mitch.

“Simone.”

Simone’s eyes popped open at the sound of the voice directly behind her. Adrenaline surging, she reached for the gun, closed her hand around the grip, scrambled to her feet, and whipped around.

“Whoa.” Mitch stood feet from her, his hair wet and plastered to his head, his jacket slicked with rain. He held up both hands, his eyes wide and very surprised. “Hold on a minute. I’m not gonna hurt you. You know me.”

Simone’s hand shook. She did know him. Her heart did at least. But everything was so jumbled in her head, she wasn’t sure what was real and what was a threat. “You lied to me.”

“I didn’t lie. I just…” His lips pressed together, then he added, “Okay, yeah. I did. But I tried to tell you last night. I really did. I was gonna tell you everything, but I got…distracted.”

Distracted. By her. Kissing him. Making love with him. Proposing to him.

God, she felt like such an idiot. She swiped at a stupid tear sliding down her cheek. “Just tell me this. Was it all a setup? Did you pursue me because you knew who I was?”

“What? No.” The color drained from his face, and he dropped his arms. “God, no. Simone, I didn’t know who you were until a week ago, after my house got shot up and we were in Ryan’s office and you told us all about being in witness protection. Ryan did some research after you and Shannon fell asleep on the couch, and when I realized this was all linked to the Cyphers, I was as shocked as anyone. I know I should have told you everything right then, but I didn’t, because…because I was afraid you were gonna cut and run and that you wouldn’t listen once you found out. And things were already so messed up between us, I needed to fix that first. But I swear to you, I didn’t ask you out as part of some elaborate setup. I wasn’t with you because anyone told me to be. I’m with you because I love you.”

Though Simone still held the gun in front of her with both hands, her fingers shook against the cool metal with uncertainty, and her arms lowered just a touch.

This was Mitch. The guy who, as of an hour ago, had been the man of her dreams. But there was too much buzzing in her head. Too many uncertainties. And she didn’t know what to believe.

“Did you know Steve?”

“No. I promise I didn’t. I joined the Cyphers my senior year of college. It’s a bicoastal organization. I don’t know most of the people in the society, and especially not past members. I’ll admit it was fun and exciting when I was in school, but it quickly lost its charm for me. It’s not who I am. In fact, I don’t interact with anyone outside my one yearly commitment. I should have gotten rid of that stupid brand a long time ago, I just…I didn’t because I couldn’t.”

Because no one left the society. She’d done enough of her own research on the Cyphers the last few days to know that much. A lump formed in her throat when she realized what that meant.

“Sweetheart.” He took a small step closer, and the misery she saw swirling in his eyes rivaled the turmoil churning inside her. “You know me. You know who I am. I’m not like those people. I love you, Simone. I love Shannon. None of that has changed. If anything, it’s gotten stronger because of all this.” He moved even closer, and she saw the wet sheen of tears in his eyes. “Please, please, you have to believe me. I don’t care about what’s in that box or what you want to do with it. It’s yours. I swear I’d never do anything to hurt you.”

She did believe that. In her heart she did. But there was still so much she wasn’t sure of. She truly believed Steve had never intentionally set out to hurt her, but she’d ended up here regardless.

“They have to know about you,” she whispered, tears tracking down her cheeks now, unwilling to be held back. “If what you’re saying is true, they have to know about us. They’re not going to just let that go.”

“I don’t care.” His hand closed around her wrist, and he pushed the gun down to her side, then slowly tugged it from her hand. “All I care about is you.”

The gun grazed her fingertips and then was gone, and as she looked down at her damp palm while he set it back in the box, she felt like every bit of strength left her body with it.

“I’ve got you.”

She didn’t feel herself falling, but she did feel Mitch’s arms close around her. And when his warm breath fanned her cheek and neck, tingles spread through her entire body. The same tingles she felt every time he held her close.

“I’ve got you,” he said again into her hair. “You told me to hold on to you, and I am. I’m not letting you go, because I can’t. God, I can’t. I need you too much, Simone. Please.” His arms tightened around her. “Please give me—give us—another chance.”

All her life, this was what she’d wanted. Someone who could deal with her ups and downs, who knew how to balance her irrationality and stubbornness, and who would love her enough to put her first no matter the situation. She’d had that in Steve, only she hadn’t realized it until it was too late. And now she’d found it in Mitch, a man she hadn’t been looking for, but whom she wanted. And needed. More than she’d ever thought possible.

All the uncertainty slid to the wayside. It didn’t matter what he’d kept from her. It didn’t even matter that she still didn’t know what to do next. All that mattered was that she loved him.

She lifted her hands to his sides. Closed her eyes. Started to wrap her arms around his lower back. “Mitch—“

“I was afraid she was going to be a problem.”

The voice coming from the doorway caused Mitch to go stone still against her, but Simone felt the way his pulse shot up. She couldn’t see who’d just arrived, and she didn’t recognize his voice, but some sixth sense told her Mitch did.

“Dammit, Mathews,” the man said in an exasperated tone. “I didn’t want it to end this way. I really didn’t.”

Mitch braced both hands on Simone’s shoulders, then turned, putting himself between her and the newcomer. But before he did, Simone caught a glimpse of his eyes. Wide, guarded, and frightened.

“Murdoch.” Mitch held out his hand. “The box is yours. Just take it.”

Simone took a step out from behind Mitch so she could see. The man in the doorway was tall and dark, wearing jeans and a navy jacket, and though she didn’t recognize his voice at first, she did know that face. Chris Murdoch. Mitch’s boss at PreCorp.

Holy shit. C.M. The initials that had been on those e-mails in Steve’s box.

Chris rubbed his left eye with a gloved hand. “We’re both smart men here, Mitch. You know that can’t happen now.” He dropped his hand and looked down at the open box. “Graham was stupid enough to put it on paper. She already read what’s in there.”

Simone stepped out from behind Mitch. “No one has to know. They’re yours. You can have them.”

“Simone,” Mitch warned.

“That’s all of it,” she said, ignoring Mitch. “There’s nothing else. Just let us go, and no one will know any of this happened.”

“I tried that,” Murdoch said to Mitch, not her. “That reporter, then Holdt. Did you know if Holdt hadn’t been fucking her and hadn’t talked, she never would have written that article, and we still wouldn’t know where Graham’s wife was?” He nodded toward Simone but kept his gaze on Mitch, almost as if she weren’t there.

Simone’s adrenaline spiked. No one leaves the society. The words echoed in her head as Murdoch pinned Mitch with a hard look.

“Dobbs wanted to just let it go after the society took care of Holdt and the reporter,” Murdoch went on. “He wanted to let her go. He said she wasn’t a threat after all this time. And I tried to go along with him, but then I found out she was right under my nose, and I just….couldn’t.”

“Yes, you can,” Mitch said. “You still can. Just take the box and go.”

“It was supposed to be an easy exchange,” Murdoch said, shaking his head as if Mitch hadn’t even spoken. “I flush the girl out, you step in to play hero—”

“Shooting up my house isn’t flushing anyone out,” Mitch snapped.

“No,” Murdoch agreed. “Those thugs I hired were a little too aggressive. I’ll give you that. Obviously, toning things down worked way better. I got you to offer to get me the file without even asking.”

Simone was having trouble keeping up, but everything that had happened since William Holdt’s call—Mitch’s house getting shot up, the security breach at Kendrick’s cabin, their stolen, charred car—it all started to make a sick sort of sense.

“You can still have it,” Mitch said. “We can all walk away from this.”

“Ah, Mitch.” Murdoch rubbed a finger over his brow. “Always the optimist. I want you to know I was going to let it go once I had the file, I really was, but you had to go and fuck it all up, and now I can’t do that anymore.”

He pulled out a gun. A shiny black gun that was bigger than the one Simone had found in Steve’s box, and pointed it right at Mitch.

“Mitch.” Simone gasped. Reflex had her stepping toward him.

Murdoch swiveled the barrel her way.

“Chris, dammit.” Panic snaked through Mitch’s voice. “If you hurt her, I swear to God I’ll kill you.”

“In a minute, I promise you won’t care.”

Simone sucked in a breath just as Murdoch pulled the trigger.