Inked Armour

34 HAYDEN

I hung my keys beside Tenley’s in the new house and headed for the kitchen. If I was lucky she would be pulling her domestic routine, outfitted in one of her aprons and little else. It was sexy as fuck. Much to my disappointment, she was nowhere to be found.

“Tenley?”

I dropped the bag on the counter and unloaded the groceries. I called a second time but she still didn’t answer. I rearranged all the misplaced items in the fridge and the cupboards, looking over my shoulder every so often to make sure I didn’t get caught. I was working on my organization problem, but I was under no illusion I’d ever be cured of it. So long as it didn’t impede my ability to function or get inside Tenley, I figured it was okay.

I searched the rest of the main floor and came up empty. Halfway up the stairs, I caught the sound of her voice. She was singing. She had to be unpacking.

I found her in the spare bedroom she’d claimed as her office. The den of disorganization. She was wearing earphones and had on ’80s music-video attire: short shorts and leg warmers. Her shirt, which was virtually transparent, hung off one shoulder. She wasn’t wearing a bra. The white, gauzy fabric gave me a hazy view of her entire tattoo. If I looked hard enough, I could make out the six-inch block in the middle of the right wing that hadn’t been shaded yet.

Our last session was scheduled for later this evening. I’d pushed it back twice now. We’d moved into the new house. Everything but this room was organized. Tenley had a handle on her studies. I had no more valid excuses. Tenley’s patience with me was running out. I was stalling for no reason other than I didn’t want to be done. But I was still going to try to put it off again.

Tenley shook her ass as she shelved books, arranging them with no plan I could see. But then, she subscribed to the Dewey decimal system rather than the Hayden Stryker System of organizing books. I leaned against the doorjamb and watched. It was pretty damn entertaining, even though I wanted to get in there and move everything around. There were no straight lines, no continuity. It was mayhem. Or maybe I was being a little overdramatic. It happened occasionally.

When the box was empty, she broke it down and tossed it in the pile of discarded cardboard. The view as she bent over was stellar. I had the better part of an hour before I had to be at work; that was plenty of time to get into those shorts of hers.

Tenley turned around with a gasp, yanking out one of the earbuds. “You scared me!”

“Sorry.” Not even a little bit.

Her hands went to her hips. “How long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough.” I rubbed my mouth to hide my smile. “I like your rendition of that song way better than the original.”

“Ha-ha. You’re such a comedian.” Her cheeks were pink.

“I’m serious.” Her voice wasn’t half-bad and she knew it. She was always singing along in the car.

She ignored the comment and turned back to the pile of boxes. “What time is it?”

“It’s just after eleven.”

“What? I didn’t realize I’d been at this so long. I need to change.” She abandoned the box and tried to get past me.

I snaked an arm around her waist to stop her. “Where do you need to be?” Nothing was on the calendar, and she didn’t teach or have classes today.

“I have a meeting with my group. We scheduled it yesterday. I forgot to tell you last night.”

Last night I’d been snooping around in some of her boxes. I found her porn stash. It was eye-opening; a lot of the stuff in there I hadn’t expected. After she got over her unnecessary embarrassment, I kept her pretty well occupied. I could see how she might have forgotten to tell me about the meeting.

“With the Nerd Herd?”

“Don’t call them that,” she said, smiling.

“What time do you have to leave?”

“I don’t. They’re coming here.”

“Here? To our place?” She tried to worm her way out of my grip, but I wouldn’t let her get away.

“I thought that would be okay. It’s more convenient than meeting on campus.”

“But I have to go to Inked Armor.” During the last group project, that Ian fucker weaseled his way back into her group. The rest of those guys were harmless nerds, but Ian thought he was slick. He was always trying to buddy up to me, telling me what a great girl Tenley was. As if I didn’t already fucking know.

She frowned. “We don’t need a chaperone. We’re working on a project, not throwing a keg party.”

“I know that.”

She sighed. “They’re supposed to be here in half an hour. Do I need to call Patrick and ask if we can go to his place?”

“That’s not necessary. Is that dickwad Ian still in your group?”

Tenley’s brow lifted. “He’s not interested in me.”

“Yes. He is.”

“He knows I live with you.”

“That just makes you more of a challenge.”

“He’s got a girlfriend.”

“Only because you’re not available.”

She rolled her eyes and pushed on my chest. “He’s not in our group anyway, so it doesn’t matter.”

“Why didn’t you say that in the first place?”

“Because you’re impossible. Let me go. I need to shower before they get here.”

I let her go. But I caught her when she was getting out of the shower and took advantage of her nakedness. She was still getting dressed when her group arrived, so I greeted them. Just as I’d planned. There was a new girl in place of Ian. She seemed a little nervous, but I was happy to see another female in the group. I set them up in the living room and even brought them drinks like a good host. When Tenley came downstairs, she was wearing her STRYKER hoodie and a pair of jeans.

“I gotta run.” I pulled her in for a kiss. She kept her lips together, even when I stroked the seam with my tongue.

She disengaged, her flush showing her embarrassment. “I’ll be at the shop around seven.”

Shit. I’d meant to broach the subject earlier, before I delayed Tenley with the postshower sex.

I glanced at the Nerd Herd plus New Girl. It might work to my advantage to have them here. Tenley wasn’t as likely to get upset with me in front of other people. “About that—”

She gave her head a vehement shake. “Oh, no. Nope. No way.”

Or maybe she wouldn’t care if she had company. “But I—”

“I’ll be right back, make yourselves comfortable.” She flashed her group a forced smile and grabbed my hand, hauling me out of the room. She stopped once we were in the kitchen, where we’d be out of earshot and their line of view.

“You’ve already rescheduled me twice; you’re not doing it again.”

“But I have this client who needs—”

“You have lots of clients who need things from you, and I’m one of them. I’ve waited long enough. I want this piece finished, Hayden.”

“I get that. It’s just . . .” I had no justifiable reason for holding off.

“First you get all territorial about my group coming over, and now you want to cancel my session again. What’s this really about?” She cocked her head and waited.

I clearly wasn’t getting out of an explanation. I stared at the floor and nudged her toe with mine. “I don’t want this to be the last session.”

Tenley’s arms went around my neck and her cheek rested against my chest. “Finishing the tattoo doesn’t mean it’s the last time I’ll be in your chair.”

“I know.”

Rationally speaking, I understood that. But finishing a tattoo this extensive brought with it a whole barrage of emotions. Not just for Tenley, but for me as well. That was the part I struggled with most because I’d never felt this way about anyone else before. I’d experienced the post-ink high and the comedown many times. Sometimes the positives outweighed the negatives. Not always, though. That was part of the reason I kept postponing—unsure not only of how Tenley would handle the last session, but how I would.

“Then why keep putting me off?”

“I just want this to be good for you.”

“It will be.” She sounded so certain.

There was no backing out now. Before the day was over, Tenley’s tattoo would be complete.

I had a full lineup of clients scheduled for the day. The guy before Tenley showed up late and needed more breaks than I’d anticipated, which meant Tenley had to wait. She didn’t look happy about it, likely worried I would use it as another reason to postpone the final session.

She and Lisa went over to Serendipity to visit with Cassie and grab coffees. Tenley hadn’t resumed her shifts there after she came back from Arden Hills since she didn’t need the money. The job had been a way to fill her time. It had become unnecessary because she wasn’t running from her pain anymore.

It was after eight by the time I finished with my client. Lisa, Jamie, and Chris were all leaving, so Tenley and I would have the shop to ourselves. The session would only last a couple of hours if I took my time and dragged it out, which I planned to do.

Even though we were alone, I locked us in the private room and busied myself with checking the tray of supplies. It was redundant. I’d prepared everything early in the afternoon to get into the right frame of mind.

Things had been so good between us recently. Aside from my display of overt possessiveness this morning, there hadn’t been any drama. I wasn’t losing my shit over towels that weren’t perfectly lined up. She was managing school well; her new adviser was much easier to work with. Calder had lost his tenure when the video was “accidentally” leaked online and then intentionally sent to the dean. I didn’t want anything to mess up the balance we’d finally established.

I’d mulled over my reaction this morning, trying to figure out what my problem was, beyond the obvious. I still hadn’t come up with anything completely rational.

Tenley sat down in the chair, fully dressed. Usually she got mostly naked as soon as I locked the door.

“You’re going to have to take that off if I’m going to get started.” I motioned to the hoodie.

“I have a question first.”

“Fire away.” I started assembling the tattoo machine.

“Why are you so worried about this being the last session?”

“We talked about this earlier.” I almost fumbled with the needle, giving away my nerves. Tenley was perceptive. I couldn’t hide much from her.

She pulled her hoodie over her head, a well-orchestrated move to assure me that if I answered her question truthfully, more clothes would come off. She was wearing a T-shirt underneath that conformed to her curves. “Tell me again. And I already know you like having me in your chair. That’s a given.”

“Technically, I’ve never had you in my chair, but I suppose we could rectify that. . . .” I put down the machine and stripped off my gloves. I was in full avoidance mode.

“You’ve used sex as a distraction once today. You don’t get to do it again.”

“I thought there was a twice-a-day limit.” I leaned in to kiss her, but she turned her head to the side. I bit her neck instead.

“Answer the question.” She sounded just the tiniest bit breathy.

“I already did.” I sucked on the skin. She tasted good, as usual.

“You can’t regurgitate the same response from this morning. After what you pulled, do you think I’m going to fall for it? Give me some credit.”

I hadn’t expected the diversionary tactic to work, but at least I’d tried. I sat back down in my chair and rolled in close. I couldn’t start the session with this tension between us. It wasn’t fair to Tenley.

“I’m nervous.”

“About how I’m going to react to finishing the tattoo? I’m ready for this.”

She hadn’t been visibly upset after a session in a long time. In fact, there’d been a peacefulness about her that I envied as we got closer to the end. I was the one who was having a hard time with it. I traced the veins in the back of her hand with my finger, needing somewhere to focus.

“It’s not so much about you as it is about me.” After a long pause I looked up, meeting her questioning gaze. “I don’t want to lose this.”

“This? Do you mean what we have when we’re here?” She flipped her hand over and laced our fingers together.

“It’s stupid. I’m being an idiot.”

“No, you’re not.” She kissed the back of my hand. “We probably should have talked about this before now. The only reason I’ve let you postpone this session twice already is because I like how connected I feel to you when we’re in here.”

I shouldn’t have been surprised she was on to me, or that we shared the same fears. “I’m sorry I kept putting you off.”

“I figured you had your reasons.” She shifted and I parted my legs so hers could fit between them. The fingers that weren’t already twined with mine pushed through my hair. Her palm came to rest on the back of my neck. “This tattoo isn’t a representation of loss anymore, Hayden. It started out that way, but time has changed that. You’ve changed that. This isn’t an ending. It’s like closing the circle, bringing us back where we started.”

“I’m just worried that finishing the tattoo will mean you’re finished with me.”

She stroked my cheek with her thumb. “That’s not going to happen. You’re far too important for me to walk away from, Hayden.”

I caught her hand and brought it to my lips. Even though they were just words, it was the reassurance I needed. “I love you.”

“I know. I love you, too. Now let’s finish what we started.” She leaned back and waited.

I wanted to prolong every part of this process, knowing this first for her, and me, wasn’t one we could re-create.

I took my time removing her shirt, skimming the delicate cage of ribs. The red bra with black polka dots and the lacy ruffle at the top came into view. I could guarantee she had on the matching panties. She was the life-size version of the outline Jamie had put on my forearm a week ago.

I didn’t trust myself to undress her any further without taking things too far, so I snapped on a pair of gloves while she unclasped her bra. She was wearing the cupcake nipple shields again. She smiled innocently, waiting for me to stop staring at her breasts and get with the program.

“You need to turn around, kitten,” I said to her chest. “Please.” Sessions with Tenley had become like foreplay and were almost as intimate. With the two-hour limit she wasn’t put out of commission, and the connection carried over into the bedroom later. The sex was always mind-blowing. Another reason I’d wanted to postpone the final session.

She turned around and straddled the chair, allowing my brain to function again.

The area I was working on tonight was small, only about six inches high by eight inches wide. “Ready?”

“For you? Always.” Tenley’s coy grin alleviated some of the tension.

I started with the golds and silvers, then moved on to the reds and blues in the flames licking up the underside of the wings. I choose this section because it represented the light and dark equally. For me, she would always be the light in my darkness.

Tenley’s hand rested on my knee as I shaded in the wing. She didn’t complain when I went over her ribs or hit spots that were inevitably tender. She’d been like that for almost every session. Even when I went over the scarred parts, the only sound she would make was one of relief when the needle lifted from her skin and I wiped away the residual ink. The sole sign that she was in pain came from the tension in her body.

Our conversation was light, nothing like that of some of the earlier sessions, which had been full of difficult revelations.

This one was over too quickly.

When I finished, I looked over the entire piece, searching for spots that needed touching up. There weren’t any. I’d been meticulous. I turned off the tattoo machine and set it down. Then I wiped the ink with a fresh cloth, admiring the completed piece for the first time.

“It’s done.”

Her smile was full of warm satisfaction. “I want to see.”

I helped her out of the chair and led her to the three-way mirror, angling it so she didn’t have to crane her neck. The reds and blues and smoky shades of purple at the base of the wings presented a striking contrast against the ethereal golds and silver at her shoulders. I doubted I would ever put anything so darkly beautiful on another person.

Her fingers trailed along the tip of the wing. She looked like an angel on fire.

“It’s so gorgeous,” she said softly.

“You make it that way.”

Tears slid down her cheeks as she inspected the art. The emotions and anticipation that came with finishing a piece of this magnitude warranted them. I’d always looked at body art as a way to exorcise demons, but it wasn’t about that at all. It was a push and pull; letting go and holding on at the same time. She wore her loss in an armor of ink, just as I did.

I covered the ink with a protective layer of cellophane, then stripped off my gloves and wiped away her tears.

Her arms came around my neck. Still in front of the three-way mirror, the reflection gave me the perfect view of her fresh ink from several viewpoints.

“Thank you for finishing this and for agreeing to be my artist in the first place.”

“Like there was ever any other option?” I traced the edge of the tattoo. “As soon as this is healed, I want Lisa to take another picture.”

Tenley’s fingers traveled down my chest. “Do I need to remind you that I live with you? Don’t you think you’ll see enough of it?”

“There is no such thing as enough when it comes to you.”

“I know exactly what you mean.”

Her palms slid under my shirt and up my sides. I didn’t stop her when she pulled the shirt over my head and discarded it on the floor. I also didn’t resist when she grabbed me by the belt buckle and dragged me toward the tattoo chair. Tenley ripped my belt from the loops and popped the button on my fly.

Her leggings were next. “I love these things. No zippers or buttons to mess with,” I said.

She laughed as I gave one firm tug and down they came. I dropped into the tattoo chair with my jeans pooled around my knees and took half a second to appreciate that she was, in fact, wearing the matching panties to the sexy bra she’d been sporting.

I hooked my thumbs into the waistband and pulled them down, kissing my way from her navel to the crest of her pelvis. Her hands went to my hair as they always did and guided my mouth lower. She rarely left any question as to what she wanted.

I gave her a little lick before I peeked up at her. “Maybe I should take you home.”

Her eyes narrowed in a sexy, sinister way. “Like hell.”

She was going to be a firecracker tonight, if I let her. She let go of my hair and pushed on my shoulders until I was reclined in the chair, then climbed up to straddle me. Hot and wet met hard and ready. I grabbed her hips and kept her from moving.

“Hayden,” she groaned.

Her ponytail flared out over her shoulder, the nipple shield barely visible through the cascade. She was my ultimate temptation, gorgeous and willing and so full of fire. It would be so easy to just slip inside, but I slowed things down.

“I need you. Please.” She kissed me, all soft and sweet.

“You think it’s different for me?”

“Then take me, for fuck’s sake!”

I laughed and she bit my lip, but she was smiling and she melted right into me, as if she understood.

There would never be another one of these firsts: Tenley’s first finished back piece, and the first time I’d ever put something so significant on someone I loved. It was pretty damn momentous. So I was going to savor this experience. And she let me.

We were as close as we could get, fused in every way. In the years between loss and living, I’d forgotten what it was like to love. I didn’t know how it felt to be whole, to be present in my own life.

Then Tenley came along and made me aware of everything I’d been missing but was too afraid to acknowledge. Just as she’d been running, so had I, but I was past that now. I had closure—but more than that, I had her. Tenley was the inception, my new beginning, the rebirth I’d been striving for. She embodied the phoenix embedded in my skin, rising from the ashes to start again.

In this, we were marked by one another. It went far beyond ink on skin. It went right down to the soul.

In this life, for as long as we had, we would be each other’s armor.