Kiss Of Death: A Dark Mafia Romance

6 One year later. 14 years old

“A child is an uncut diamond.” - Austin O’Malley

Alex’s fist collides with my jaw and I stagger backwards, spitting out a mouthful of blood. He’s got at least forty pounds on me, and three extra years of training. He’s good. He throws another punch and I duck, popping up and catching him in the kidney. The hit doesn’t do much, but I can see the pain written on his face and it gives me a smug sense of satisfaction. I’m the girl, the one who was supposed to be a whore. Nicholai’s favourite. They taunt me, and make it known that they see me as no threat here in the ring, but all it does is make me even more determined to prove myself. Alex throws me to the ground and I smile, because this is where I’m best. I manage to twist my body and wrap one leg around the back of his neck. I see the moment he realises his error and he tries to get up. He lifts me clean off the matt, and slams me back down. I smile at him as I hold onto my ankle, squeezing against his artery until his eyes roll in his head. I maintain it until he passes out, his entire weight falling on top of me. I lay there on the mat, panting and trying to catch my breath. My ribs scream in protest with every breath and I can feel my jaw swelling already. James, our trainer comes into view, hovering over me.

“Good.” He shoves Alex’s unconscious body off me with his foot and turns away. He doesn’t think that a girl should be here, training with his soldiers, especially an under fed scrawny girl. His praise is hard earned but all the more valued for that very reason.

Nicholai was right when he said he’d make me strong. This, right here, it feels like a purpose. It makes me feel as though when the monsters come for me, I can fight them, and come they will, because they always do eventually.

Sasha appears over me and offers me his hand. I take it and jump to my feet. “Anyone would think you’re adverse to blood.” He murmurs under his breath. His green eyes meet mine and he cocks a brow. I know what he’s thinking, that I’m squeamish. This is not the place to be squeamish. We’re soldiers, assets. They train us, condition us to become numb to everything, particularly blood, violence and death. I’m fine with blood. We fall back in line beside Sunny and Adam, the other two guys in the unit. They don’t like me and I don’t like them. We don’t talk to each other at all.

“I just don’t like unnecessary mess.” I say flatly. Why draw blood when you can disable an enemy without it?

“You’re such a girl.” He whispers. I want to hit him but I don’t.

Alex groans from his spot on the floor. James is crouched beside him, wafting a pot of smelling salts under his nose. He coughs and waves James away.

“God, that smells like shit.” He looks up at me and smiles. “You’re getting good at that, titch.” He pushes to his feet and walks over to us, shaking his head. I glare at him but say nothing else as he falls in line beside me. I hate when he calls me titch in front of the others.

James stands in front of us, meeting each of our eyes in turn. He lifts a finger and points at me. “You underestimate her because she’s female!” He shouts before stepping up in front of me. “And you must learn to use that to your advantage.” His lips curl slightly at the side and it makes the long scar that runs diagonally across his face, sink into his skin. James is the kind of guy that would scare the shit out of even the most hardened soldiers, but he’s a great trainer. He told me the first day I was here that he didn’t want me to be the best. He wanted me to kill the best. “Dismissed!” He shouts.

We break and head for the showers. The days here are gruelling and it doesn’t seem to matter how used to it your muscles should be, they still ache at the end of every day. Our days consist of training in everything from fighting to shooting and general physical fitness. Then there’s the mental side as well as the educational. I’m learning English, Italian, Spanish, and German. We also learn tactics and strategy, because it’s not enough to kill a target, first you have to get close and then you have to have an escape plan. Everything here is like a mental and physical assault, retraining your body and mind to see the world in a completely different light. James often tells us that to be the best you must expect the unexpected and be prepared for any eventuality. Preparation at knowledge is key to survival.

I step into the locker room and strip out of my sweaty training gear. I’m the only girl here, and well, this facility isn’t exactly geared to having girls. I get no special treatment, including when it comes to the communal showers. I gave up on modesty a long time ago. Being naked is just par for the course, and I don’t have time to be shy about it. The guys don’t care, although Alex is getting increasingly weird about it, as it is Sasha now I think about it. I walk into one of the open shower stalls and turn on the water. As usual it takes a few seconds to heat up. I’ve learned to like the few seconds of cold. It’s like a jolt to my body, reminding me that I’m alive. As soon as the heat kicks in the warm water soothes my aching muscles. When I turn around I find Sunny glancing in my direction. Even after a year we barely talk or acknowledge each other, and he relishes in trying to make me uncomfortable. His eyes drop to my chest and I glare him. My attention is drawn to my left when I hear a low growl. The shower stalls are separated by dividing partitions which cover the average adult from mid thigh to shoulder. Alex is at the stall to my left and his gaze is firmly fixed on Sunny, the muscle in his jaw ticking as he stares at him. The tension is thick in the air and I find myself glancing between the two of them.

“Una, get out.” Sasha says quietly, appearing in front of me and holding up a towel like a wall, blocking me from the rest of the room. His face is serious and his eyes keep subtly flashing towards Alex. “Now.” He growls.

I roll my eyes and snatch he towel from him, stepping out from beneath the hot water.

“It’s just skin, guys.” I grumble, mainly in Sunny’s direction. “I have no idea why you’re being so weird about it.” None of them say anything so I take a deep breath and leave the bathroom, heading back to the dorm. I throw on a pair of work out pants and a tank top - all in black of course – and head to the cafeteria. Sasha and Alex are normally with me, but they’re apparently busy having their strange boy moment with Sunny. I attempt to drag my fingers through my hair, but the wet strands are tangled together hopelessly thanks to their lack of any kind of actual washing. Magda, cooks all our food in the cafeteria. She’s a nice lady, but mute. She hands me a tray of food and I smile and thank her. The food here is good, lots of meat for high protein and carbs for energy. It’s a far cry from the rations in the orphanage. Once again my mind flashes to Anna and I almost immediately slam the door shut on it. I think of her and feel guilty for leaving her alone, I then feel bad, so I refuse to allow myself to think of her, which makes me feel even more guilty. The entire thing is best just left alone while I’m here, unable to do anything about it. It’s a pointless thought process that does nothing but hurt me.

I’m halfway through my food when Sasha and Alex finally walk through the door. Sasha has a serious look on his face which isn’t abnormal, but Alex strolls along behind him, grinning at me and showcasing a nasty split lip. I sigh and fold my arms in front of me on the table, waiting for them to sit. Sasha sits across from me and Alex sits next to me.

“Jesus, Titch, you’re like a hoover.” He smirks, nodding at my tray. Adam and Sunny walk in and I instantly hone in on Sunny’s swelling left eye and bruised jaw. He’s also walking slightly hunched over. Alex is a brawler, irrational, hot headed and when he hits, he does maximum damage.

“You got in a fight with Sunny. Why?” I ask him. Sasha drops his eyes to the table and some of the humour disappears from Alex’s eyes.

“He had it coming.” He says, and I don’t miss the violence in his tone.

“Alex, you’ll get in trouble.” He’ll get in more than just trouble. Everything about this place is based on discipline. There are strict rules, because honestly, when you put teenage boys together, trained in lethal combat, you expect it. Fighting goes against everything they want and it’s punished severely.

His hand lands on my leg and he squeezes above my knee. “I’ll be fine, titch.” I frown down at his fingers on my thigh and when I look up, Sasha is giving me a strange look. What is going on with them today? I push to my feet and pick up my tray. “Where are you going?” Alex asks.

“I’m not hungry.” I scrape off my tray and hurry out of the room before he can say anything else. I don’t like the tension. I don’t like the way that Alex is acting, and I don’t like the way that Sasha keeps looking between us.

I go to the dorm and throw myself on my bed with a huff. I lay on my back, staring at the rusted frame of the bunk above me. Closing my eyes, I listen to the silence. It’s rare and peaceful. I jolt when something brushes my cheek. I must have fallen asleep. Alex is sitting on the edge of my bed and a frown line sinks between his brows as he stares down at me. His fingers brush over my cheek as his eyes search my face.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” I ask quietly.

A smile pulls at his lips and a frown disappears. “Are you mad at me, titch?”

I roll my eyes. “Don’t answer a question with a question.”

He smiles wider. “So you are mad at me.” A lock at dark hair falls over his forehead and those dark eyes meet mine, that twinkle that is all Alex in them.

“Why would you fight with sunny?” I sigh.

The frown comes back and he drops his eyes to the spot beside my head. He twirls a piece of my hair around his finger until the white blonde strands cut into his skin. The silence stretches on until he finally snaps his gaze back to mine again.

“He was looking at you.”

“Uh, it’s sunny. He’s a dick. He only does it to try and annoy me.” Alex takes a heavy breath. “It’s not a big deal.” I reassure him.

He drags a hand over his face and refuses to look at me again. What the hell is wrong with him? “Titch, don’t make me say it.” He groans.

Sasha walks in and his eyes flick between me and Alex. “What is he going on about Sasha?” He always gives me straight answers. “Why did he fight with sunny?”

Even Sasha looks uncomfortable. “Look, Una, you’re a girl.” He raises his eyebrows and I sit up on the bed, glaring at him. “And…” He clears his throat.

“And you’re living, sleeping… showering with guys.” Alex finishes.

“This is a problem because…”

Sasha rolls his eyes. “Jesus, Una. Sunny looks at you like he wants you.” He raises his eyebrows.

“You don’t look like a kid any more, titch.” Alex mumbles awkwardly.

Oh my god. I can feel the heat creeping up my neck until it takes over my face and reaches my hairline. Both of them are refusing to look me in the eye, although Sasha is less obvious about it. It’s true that in the last year, with a proper diet I have finally filled out from my formally skeletal form. My hips are fuller and I now have breasts, but it’s not like they’re enormous! Certainly not big enough to be gawking at.

“You’re right, sunny is a dick.” Alex says, as though trying to somehow make this better. I can’t even look at either of them. This is mortifying.

A few minutes later Sunny and Adam walk in. Silence falls over the room and the tension feels like a physical weight pressing in on me. I can feel every eye focus on me, so I get up and go to my locker, taking out my gloves. I’d rather be anywhere but here right now, and so even though I’m tired and my muscles ache, I go to the training room.

I pound the heavy bag, feeling the weight of it against my knuckles. Each punch ricochets up my arm, making my limbs ache even more. I press through it until my hands hurt and my arms go numb.

“Careful, killer.” I turn and find Alex lounging against the wall. He’s shirtless as usual, wearing nothing but his workout pants. His hands are thrust deep in the pockets of his pants and his ankles are crossed one over the other.

“What do you want?” I turn my back on him and throw another round of punches at the bag. I still when I feel his hand on my shoulder. He wraps his arms around me, one around my waist and one over my chest. I can feel the heat of his bare chest burning through my tank as he presses against my back.

“I’m sorry.” He breathes right next to my ear. “I didn’t mean to upset you.” He presses his lips into my hair and it’s something he’s done a thousand times before when he’s crawled into my bed at night. I never thought anything of it. It’s brought me comfort at times I felt alone and lost. It’s Alex. He’s my best friend. But this suddenly feels different. The gesture doesn’t feel like the simple act of one friend comforting another. This is their fault, him and Sasha. They just had to bring up the boob thing and make it weird. I take a deep breath and lean back against his body. He towers over me and his thick arms wrapped around me have always made me feel as though nothing in this world can touch me. I turn around and press my cheek against his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. That rhythmic thump, thump, thump has soothed me to sleep many times. His hand cups the back of my head, stroking over my damp hair.

“You didn’t upset me.” I sigh. “Boys are idiots.”

He laughs. “I won’t argue with you.”

I pull my face away from his chest and look up at him. “You still didn’t explain why you hit Sunny.” I whisper. “I can take care of myself.”

He tilts his head back and releases a heavy sigh. “I don’t like him looking at you.”

“Why?” I say, so quietly I’m not sure if he even hears me.

He brings his gaze back to mine, narrowing his eyes impatiently. His arms tighten around my body, and he stares at me for so long, time seems to stand still as I get lost in his eyes. And the way he’s looking at me, he’s never looked at me like that before. He brings his face closer to mine and my breath seizees in my chest. My stomach tenses, fluttering with something strange. This is Alex, my Alex, the boy who holds me when I’m sad, defends me when I don’t need defending and kicks my ass for my own good. He taught me to throw a punch, how to reassemble a gun in under ten seconds. Right now though, he feels like none of that and all of that. I can’t explain it. He feels like something foreign and yet warm and familiar, safe. Those dark eyes of his burn into me as though he can see into my very soul. And then they drop to my lips, lingering there. I’m both embarrassed and curious at the same time. I feel the blush blossoming over my cheek bones. My breath hitches and his arm leaves the small of my back. He brushes a strand of hair away from my face, and my eyelids flutter closed. My heart leaps into the sprint and my skin tingles under his touch. Calloused fingers trace my jawline and warm breath blows over my face before his lips brush over mine in a feather light caress. I freeze, unable to move, unable to breathe. He kisses me. Alex kisses me. I’m too confused to react. His lips are softer than they look, and his fingers trail down the side of my neck leaving tingles in their wake. When he breaks away I open my eyes and drop my gaze to the worn concrete floor beneath my feet.

“Una…” He starts, but says nothing more. I finally lift my eyes to his and in this awkward tension seems to linger between us. “I’m sorry.” He stammers.

I shake my head. “It’s okay.” Or at least I think it is. Honestly I’m not really sure myself. His arms are still wrapped around me and the embrace that felt simply friendly a few moments ago now feels like something else.

“It will be lights out soon.” He says, stepping back and holding his hand out to me. I take it and his fingers thread through mine as he leads me back to the dorm room. Sunny and Adam glare at us as we walk in. Sasha makes a deliberate effort to ignore us.

I get changed and climb into bed. Alex hoists himself up onto his own bed and then the lights go out. The darkness wraps around me, hiding everything, but it’s here in the quiet of the dark that I hear and see the most. My lips tingle and I press my fingers against them, remembering the feel of Alex’s kiss. Why would he do that? I’ve never thought about being kissed before. I mean, it’s not as if there’s an awful lot of room for fairy tales in my world. Kisses and boys… those are the things told in the Disney films I used to watch when I was young, before all this. Things from a different place, a different time, things that don’t belong here. Alex and Sasha are my best friends but James has always told us we are disposable, which is why we must be the best. Anything less and we die. I know all of this, having willingly embraced it in order to be strong, to make Nikolai proud. And yet, Alex has always been my safe place. In his arms, hearing his carefree laugh, I can almost pretend that this isn’t our life, that we are just two normal people, a boy and a girl. I want that. I want to be strong, but I wish I didn’t have to be. I wish that this world wasn’t so messed up that I need to be.

I’m still awake what feels like hours later. I can hear the heavy sleep drawn breaths from the other guys in the room and the god awful snoring coming from Adams bunk. The springs of the mattress about me creek, and then Alex’s leg appear, hanging over the side of the bed. Is he going to get in my bed? Do I want him to? Wait, why wouldn’t I want him to? He’s always done it. The kiss, that’s why. I don’t get much choice because he doesn’t ask. He simply hops down, his feet hitting the ground so lightly that they make no sound at all. He tugs at the edge of the blanket and I find myself shuffling over, making room for his ever broadening frame in the tiny bed. He gets in next to me and says nothing. I turn on my side and stare at him, he stares back and I can just make out his eyes, twinkling in the dark. After a while he smiles, his brilliant grin standing out against the darkness.

“Why are you smiling?” I whisper.

“Because you’re beautiful.”

I blush and tuck my chin, focusing on his chest. “Don’t be stupid.”

“Nothing stupid about it.” A light feeling creeps through my chest and my stomach clenches. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me close, kissing my forehead. His lips linger on my skin for several moments before he props his chin on my head. I breathe in the familiar scent of him, and sigh on a contented breath. He holds me like that and strokes over my hair until I drift to sleep.