Kiss Of Death: A Dark Mafia Romance

9 Six months later…15 years old

“Let it define you, let it destroy you, or let it strengthen you.” – Unknown.

The hand presses on the back of my neck, pinning me beneath the water. I try to hold my breath, but my pulse is beating erratically, and the harder my heart beats the more desperate my lungs become for air. I’m pulled up and I drag a burning breath into my lungs. Torture is as much a part of my daily routine now as fighting and killing. My body count is now at twelve. Twelve kills in only six months. I go between working for Nicholai and being here, trained, tortured. Each day is a test of endurance, a battle of the mind over basic instinct. I always win. But the water…the water is it’s own brand of fear. I’ve been electrocuted, cut, burned, beaten, but none of them bring you as close to death as water.

James stands in front of me, the other side of the water tank. His arms are behind his back as always, and the black material of his military style jacket pulls tight over his chest. He grimaces at me and the scar that runs diagonally across his face sinks into his skin making his expression twisted and deformed.

“It’s here, at the limit of death, when you think you have no choice but to give up, that the strong are separated from the weak.” He nods and I’m thrust back into the water. Again I panic and flounder and again I’m brought up. “Embrace death, only then can you conquer it.” He growls, and I’m forced under again.

This time, when I reach the point of no oxygen, they don’t let me up. My lungs burn and a rabid kind of desperation claws at my mind. It’s here, at the precipice of death where it’s impossible to think rationally. It’s here where the mind can no longer battle the body and the unbridled instinct to survive will kick in. I hold out and hold out, until finally I can’t anymore. My body shuts down and my mind closes in on itself, refusing to let me open my mouth even though I need to. The pressure grows and grows until I feel as though I’m about to explode. I open my mouth and inhale, only the air never comes. Water rushes into my lungs and I panic, but it’s accompanied by a strange kind of relief. I’ve always been scared of dying, but as my body desperately tries to work through it’s distress, my mind is at ease. There’s nothing I can do, and a strange kind of peace comes with that knowledge. Everything goes black.

I wake up and choke, sitting up and coughing up water. My lungs feel raw and strained. I’m laying on the floor next to the water butt. James is hovering over me and the guy who held me under water is crouching at my side.

“Congratulations, you just stared death in the face and won.” James says. I don’t feel like I won. “Embrace death, Una. Become her. Only then will you not fear her.” He walks away and the other guy gets up and follows him. I sit there, my lungs burning as I continue to cough up water. When I finally stand and leave the room, I find Nicholai waiting in the hallway. He’s leaning against the wall, sucking on a lollipop as usual. He reaches in his pocket and offers me one, but I shake my head. Another ragged cough works up my throat that seizes my entire body. My lungs are trying to purge the water and I know from experience it will take days for them to do so.

“You are doing well, little dove.” I like Nicholai’s praise. It makes me feel like all of this is worth it, like there’s someone routing for me. We start walking down the corridor and he wraps an arm around my shoulder, pulling me into his side. “Do you know why I do this to you?” He gestures at me. “The electrocution, the drowning, the pain…” I shake my head and I’m not sure I want to know. “It is not because I like your suffering. Quite the opposite.” His expression looks genuinely pained for a second before he continues. “I will tell you a story. There was a man who once trained a dog. Every time he fed the dog he would ring a bell. Soon, every time he rang the bell, the dog would drool, whether he received the food or not. The response was conditioned.” I glance up at him, a frown on my face. “Humans are much the same. We are naturally conditioned by our own minds. When you are thrust into the water, your mind panics, it is conditioned by it’s own need to survive. I want you to be able to over-ride your own mind, little dove. To do this is to have absolute power.” He smiles wondrously. “How strong you will be to conquer death and fear. And more so, with certain training, you can make anything instinctual. Conditioned behavior.” He shakes his head. “The mind is an amazing thing.”

Is it even possible? To have no fear, not even of death itself…I’d be like a robot.