Kiss Of Death: A Dark Mafia Romance

11

“Perhaps the unattached, the unwanted, the unloved could grow to love as lushly as anyone else.” - Vanessa Diffenbaugh.

I’m jolted awake and I’m confused for a few seconds, but then my eyes adjust and I see the man standing beside my bed, pointing a gun at me. I react without thinking, years of training kicking in seamlessly. I grab his wrist and divert it away from me before twisting my body and landing a kick to his gut. He coughs and doubles over. I’m standing over him holding his own gun to his head when something hits me in the chest. My entire body seizes and then goes completely numb. Two men carry me from the room. I try and call Alex’s name, but I can’t seem to find my voice. Nothing seems to work, as if my brain has been cut off from the rest of my body.

I’m dragged down a long corridor and down a set of stairs before I’m dumped on a cold floor. I groan and rub over the spot on my chest where two spots of blood are blossoming, making my tank top sticky. Taser prongs. There’s shouting, a door being slammed and then the soft stroke of fingers on my jaw.

“Little dove, wake up.” I groan and manage to climb to my feet. I freeze when I see the figure chained to one wall of the empty room. Alex. His torso is bare, covered in slices that bleed down his stomach. Sweat mixes with the blood, coating the chiselled muscles of his body in a crimson glow. His dark hair is damp with sweat and a few loose tendrils fall across his face.

“Alex.” I whisper his name and he lifts his head slightly. Tears prick at the backs of my eyes and I bite the inside of my cheek to stop them. “What is this?” I whisper, unable to bring myself to look at Nicholai, because the truth is, I know what this is. This is why I hid my feelings for Alex from him.

Nicholai circles around behind me before moving to stand right beside Alex. He grips Alex’s jaw and twists his face to the side, forcing me to look at the bruised, bloody mess. “This boy, you have an affection for him, no?”

“I…” I force myself to look at Nicholai. “Please.” My voice breaks slightly. “He’s my friend.” A stray tear tracks down my cheek and I let it fall.

Nicholai rushes towards me. “Shhh, shhh, little dove.” He wipes away the tear and cups my cheek. “I will help you.” He’s going to help Alex? “You see, this…love, it is such a crippling weakness.”

“No.” I shake my head. He removes his gun from the holster and takes my hand, forcing my numb fingers to wrap around the hilt.

“I do this for you, little dove.” He steps to my side and I stare down at the gun.

My hand shakes, my heart hammering in my chest so hard that my pulse thrums against my ear drums, a symphony of fear and heartbreak. I know what’s coming. Of course I do. How stupid I was to think that I would get to have anything good.

“Please.” I beg, lifting my eyes to Nicholai.

His expression softens and he reaches out, brushing a tendril of hair away from my face. “Become what you were meant to be, little dove.” His thumb trails over my jaw and I close my eyes as more tears slip down my cheek. “Put a bullet in his head, or put a bullet in your own.” He says, his voice suddenly harsh. “You cannot live with weakness. Fix it one way or another.” His lips brush over the side of my face.

I lift my gaze, staring over his arm at the far wall. “Please don’t make me do this.” I beg. Tears blur my vision and I don’t care that I look weak.

Nicholai looks at me is disgust. “See what he does to you. Make a choice.”

The concrete walls of the room seem to press in on me until I can barely breathe. Nicholai’s hand slips away from my face and he steps back. My trembling finger rests over the trigger of the gun and I swallow heavily. I lift my eyes to Alex, chained to the far wall. I stare into his beautiful eyes, so full of pain, so full of longing. I know beyond any doubt that I love Alex. He’s my sanctuary, my safe harbour. Alex is the good in a world of evil, the beautiful light in the ugly darkness. To kill him is to kill any remaining good in me.

I meet his gaze and tighten the grip on the gun. His eyes are resigned, begging me, but not for reprieve. He’s begging me to shoot him. “Do it, titch. Shoot me.” Oh, god. My heart shatters.

“I love you.” I choke. Tears track down my cheeks and a sharp pain rips through my chest.

“Shoot him, Una!” Nicholai roars.

With a ragged cry I lift the gun aiming between his eyes.

“Forgive me.” I whisper on a sob and pull the trigger. His eyes never leave mine as the bullet rips through his skull leaving a hole in his forehead. His body slumps forward, his arms pulled taught against the chains. The steady flow of blood hitting the concrete is the only sound I hear.

For long moment I just stand there, staring at Alex’s body. Inside I’m screaming, crying, sobbing. My heart is fracturing into tiny pieces, shattering and crumbling to dust. I’m breaking, collapsing in on myself and the pain is so intense I’m not sure I’ll survive it. I don’t think I want to. My lungs seize and my heart splutters in my chest. I hear the gun clatter to the ground, falling from my numb fingers.

I mourn for the boy I loved, for the girl I used to be, a girl who never would have done this. I just killed the best person I know, the only person who truly cared about me besides Nicholai, and it was Nicholai who put the gun in my hand, he who forced me to this. Alex cared enough that he begged me to shoot him instead of myself. And I’m enough of a monster that I did it.

“Little dove. Una.” I lift my gaze to Nicholai, and as I look at him, something inside me snaps. The pain, the noise, it all stops. I stop. I cease to feel. It’s like a switch flips in my mind. Everything that made me who I was blinks out like a broken light bulb. The numbness that ensues is peaceful, easy. I embrace the cold detachment with open arms, revelling in the darkness. After all, don’t monsters live in the dark?