Kleinzeit

Eurydice Looked Ahead

Pain Company put Kleinzeit to bed, rang up Sister, left. Death made itself comfortable at Kleinzeit’s feet.

You’re housebroken, I suppose, said Kleinzeit.

Death grinned, nodded, touched its forelock, went to sleep.

Kleinzeit closed his eyes, saw in his mind the plain deal table and the yellow paper. He felt that there was at the same time a great deal to think about and nothing to think about. He chose to think about nothing. It was difficult. Behind nothing danced yellow paper, ordinary foolscap, Rizla. Word rumbled, Hospital roared. He was too tired to understand what they said.

Easy does it, said Nothing. Lean on me, let it all slide by. Kleinzeit leaned on Nothing, fell asleep.

Sister arrived with an electric fire, groceries, wine, Zonk, Greenlite, fruity buns. Kleinzeit woke up to find her sitting on the floor beside his mattress looking at him.

‘Hero,’ said Sister. ‘Idiot hero.’

‘Not such an idiot,’ said Kleinzeit. ‘That hospital’s not safe. They’re hell-bent on taking out my insides.’

‘Nowhere’s safe,’ said Sister.

‘But it’s hard to stay nowhere,’ said Kleinzeit.

Sister made lunch. They ate, drank wine.

‘Eurydice,’ said Sister.

‘Why’d you say that?’ said Kleinzeit.

‘It came into my mind,’ said Sister. ‘In the story Orpheus looked back and lost Eurydice, but I don’t think that’s how it was. I think Eurydice looked ahead and lost Orpheus. I don’t think Eurydice should’ve looked ahead.’

‘Well,’ said Kleinzeit. He wanted to tell Sister what he knew about Orpheus, but all he could think of was the blind head swimming towards Thrace, swimming at night across the ocean with the moonlight on it. All the rest seemed too detailed. ‘Well,’ he said, shook his head, was silent.

They had coffee, fruity buns.

‘I can’t get it out of my mind,’ said Sister. ‘I see them coming out of the Underworld, Orpheus leading Eurydice by the hand and Eurydice wondering how it’s going to be now, wondering if anything can ever be the same. She keeps asking Orpheus how will it be, and Orpheus says he doesn’t know but she keeps asking. Finally he says Oh what the hell, let’s forget it.’

‘I don’t know how it’ll be,’ said Kleinzeit. ‘All I know is that Orpheus remembered himself.’

‘How?’ said Sister. ‘I don’t know that part of the story.’

Kleinzeit told her.

‘Where’d you read that?’ said Sister.

‘It was told me,’ said Kleinzeit, ‘by an Orpheus scholar.’

‘Sounds lovely,’ said Sister. ‘But how do you do it?’

‘Orpheus went back to where he was dismembered,’ said Kleinzeit.

‘Or simply fell apart,’ said Sister.

‘However it was,’ said Kleinzeit, ‘he went back to the place where it happened.’

‘Where’s that?’

‘I don’t know. I’ll think about it another time. Take your clothes off.’

‘You’ll kill yourself,’ said Sister. ‘It was only the other day you couldn’t even sit up.’

‘We’ll do it lying down,’ said Kleinzeit.