Library Cat: The Observations of a Thinking Cat

Roadworks

The next morning, Library Cat awoke with a start. From out in the square, there came a horrendous noise. It made his ears twist back. The Humans were up to something. A peculiar odour seeped in through the gap under the window that smelt like burning and rubber mixed together.

It sounds and smells like the fourth circle of Hell, winced Library Cat, this is what Dante had in mind, I’m sure.

He rose and arched his back, blearily stretching his paws before him and lumbered blearily out on to the street to investigate. There in front of him were a variety of Humans, many dressed in bright yellow, while wrestling with pieces of wire and pipe next to a big hole in the ground. They seemed to have dug up a portion of the road for no apparent reason whatsoever. To his right, there was a massive red van from which a great heat seemed to radiate sideward. It was so intense that it almost singed Library Cat’s fur. Inside it, he could see a furnace releasing silky plumes of smoke that unfurled into the sky. Beneath the furnace, there poured a thick back gloop that thudded into a vat like treacle.

A memory stirred. I remember them from before! They were digging up the same bit of road last week. Why are they back?

But what was most curious was the sign. Adjacent to all the commotion, the Humans had erected a big triangular notice. To most cats, and Humans, this sign would say “Warning: Human at Work”. To Library Cat, the sign said, “Warning: Incompetent Human Struggling to Adjust Parasol”.

Ridiculous Humans! thought Library Cat. They dig up the road pointlessly, and erect a sign warning each other against their own insipid attempts at garden warfare.

Library Cat rubbed the sleep lazily from his eyes with his paw. Yawning, he walked along the pavement to investigate more. From the other corner of the square, a Human was removing poles that had been attached to the side of tenements and was chucking them into the back of a lorry. With each almighty clang, Library Cat upped his pace into a little canter, looking behind himself in fear.

He couldn’t deal with such foolishness, not today, and the annoyance he felt at being woken up as early as 11.14 am still hadn’t worn off. He looked at his paws. They were lathered with a thick, black, strong-smelling substance. He licked them and gagged.

He jumped once again as yet another pole was chucked into the back of the lorry.

Why can’t they just lay the poles down?

Back by the hole, the yellow Humans were feeding a long, blue pipe underground into which they threaded a long line of cable. The other end of the cable bounced and tweaked with the motion. It made him want to pounce. He edged over to it, claws poised.

But along came another almighty band as more poles were thrown into the back of the van.

This is too much, thought Library Cat. I can’t learn from the Humans if they insist on being insane.

And with that, Library Cat wrote the day off and slept for another fourteen hours.

Recommended Reading

‘Digging’ by Seamus Heaney.

Food consumed

Nothing.

Mood

Alarmed.

Discovery about Humans

At times, they show little consideration toward others, with next to no foresight.